***The next couple of chapters are kinda long, this couldn't be helped. And because I got such super awesome comments, I'll go ahead and tell you that Bella & Jake finally meet in the next chapter. It's emotional, you won't want to miss it. This is how much I love my readers!***

The Proposal

"Well, Jacob. I'm surprised to see you here. I thought maybe you had run off to Middle Earth or something," Leah said with acid in her tone.

"Hey Leah, yeah you know I did, actually. It turns out they're really missing their favorite troll - you should stay in touch more."

A smirk crossed his face as a low growl could be heard resonating from Leah. Jacob stood strong not backing down. She was irritating but she wouldn't get to him tonight no matter what she said. He stared at her until she looked away. The air had grown thick around them. He continued with the business at-hand.

"Your mom mentioned something to dad the other day about wanting to see me, is she here?"

Leah rolled her eyes and said, "Of course she's here. You should know that."

Resisting the urge to knock her senseless, Jacob asked through gritted teeth, "Well - Leah - may I see her?" Having a fight in an elder's home wasn't an option, so he kept his anger in check. They continued to stare at each other one second too long.

Being second in command Jacob didn't have to be polite. Leah knows this. He could have just ordered her, but he was tired of having to throw his weight around for every little thing, he shouldn't have to. The less they talked the better, although that troll jab made him feel pretty good.

Leah called out to her mom and walked away leaving the door open. This conversation was clearly over, which suited him just fine. He walked in and closed the door behind him.

Sue came out and was so happy to see him.

"Jacob! Oh my goodness, you dear thing. I haven't seen you in so long - oh, I've forgotten how tall you are," she said as she hugged him.

Sue was always an amiable person. Friendly, trustworthy and very intuitive. Someone you could go to for advice on virtually any topic and she never judged you. She was very no-nonsense. Her one flaw, if you could call it that, is she wanted to get into everyone's business. Not for the purpose of gossiping. She just wanted to help. Sue was always helping people out, whether they asked for it or not. This would occasionally rub people the wrong way, but they didn't know Sue's heart the way the Blacks did. Everyone should have a Sue Clearwater in their life.

"Hey Sue, how you doing?" Jacob said, as they finished their hug. He was genuinely glad to see her. Sue was glad to see his smile although she noticed what Billy had been talking about the other day. Jacob had changed, a lot. The light in his eyes was gone and it would take several more weeks of stew and pasta to fatten him up again. He looked drawn, like the only thing keeping him going was sheer momentum. A stiff breeze could probably knock you over, she thought.

"I'm good, I'm good. Come on in, I've got some things I want to talk to you about."

They reached the living room and both sat down. Jacob had to edge past the coffee table to sit down and wound up scooting it over entirely to make room for his enormous body. The world just doesn't accommodate large people it seems.

After a few more pleasantries Jacob got down to business.

"So what's up, Sue?"

"Well Jacob, first off, how are you?"

"I'm good." It was all Jacob would interject.

"Good. Okay, well I guess I should just get right to the reason for your visit then. Well, first off I hear Sam's quite relieved you're back. I don't know if you've seen Sam yet, have you?"

"Nope. I was actually going to go there first but dad said you had something important to go over with me."

"Oh, well good, I do," she said. Sue bit her lip, a little unsure where to begin. Jacob got the feeling she was nervous about something. "I was just wanting to know if you wouldn't mind telling me what your future plans were once you're done with school and all. Do you think you'll be staying here, in the pack or did you have other plans?"

"I, uh, haven't actually thought about it," he said. And that was the truth. A day-to-day existence was all Jacob could handle right now. He honestly didn't feel like attending school anymore either. Maybe it was his wolf advancing his physique so much or all the things he's been through in the last few months, but Jacob felt significantly aged. It seemed almost silly for him to attend high school with a bunch of kids now. Even if he wanted to finish - things were still so unsure with vampires in the area. What if others return? Besides, he had absolutely nothing in common with any of those kids anymore and felt as lost as a piece of driftwood. Plus, all of his close friends were in the pack, too, and may not finish either for some of the same reasons. Thank God for the GED.

Jacob asked, "Where are you going with this, Sue?"

"Well I'm not just curious for curiosity sake. I'm asking as a tribal elder. Sam's marriage has us a little worried. We don't yet know what their plans are for the future. If there's to be a change in the hierarchy of this tribe, we need to know about it as soon as possible. If Sam's not the Alpha anymore, you know what this would mean, don't you?"

He thought about it for half a second, but the realization weighed on him like a ton of bricks.

"Oh."

Man, I have been out of it. It's come back to that, he thought. He felt like someone just kicked him in the stomach and slapped him up side the head all at the same time.

"But I don't understand, Sue. He can still be a chief and a husband, can't he? Why does it have to be one way or the other?"

"It doesn't, under ordinary conditions," Sue confirmed. "But the only reason Sam is the Alpha to begin with is because you gave up your birthright. He's filling in for you. Right now we can literally leave everything as it's always been, but because he's imprinted, that changes things. His loyalties are now divided. They're both so young, Jake. Sam would follow Emily anywhere she wanted to go, unquestionably. We're fine today, they're not going anywhere today, but what about tomorrow?"

"Of course," Jacob knew she was speaking of the unknowable future. No one could have known just how far the ripple effects of an imprinting would go or how many lives it could touch. There is much more at stake here than he gave any thought to.

It never even occurred to me. Sam wouldn't survive living even one day without Emily. For Sam, "forever" begins and ends with her, it's not even an option. She's his everything. Once Sam gives up changing into a wolf he'll eventually be more of a full husband to Emily and pull away from the pack. He'll even start aging again. It's just a matter of time before he chooses Em over the pack.

And what happens to the tribe if he does reject his alpha position? Emily's been great about supporting Sam and the rest of us, even with everything that's happened to her, but she won't want to do that forever would she? They're both young still. Maybe this isn't what either of them want. The second Sam chooses Emily's wishes over the pack's, the alpha automatically reverts back...to me.

Sue watched Jacob's reaction as all these realizations set in. She let him process it all. If it wasn't such a serious subject it would almost be funny.

She continued, "Tribal law states the alpha can lead the tribe, but no one leads the alpha. Sam has done a marvelous job, we're all very proud of his leadership and very thankful for everything he and Emily have done. Your decisions for turning down your position are yours to make, but if I understand things, those reasons are no longer valid. Is that right?"

Jacob couldn't look at her as he swallowed hard, "Yes. Things have changed in that area."

"So, now we're back where we started from. Life really does go in circles, doesn't it? We're fine with whatever you decide, but we need to know as soon as you do."

He nodded. "So, Sam hasn't said anything about what he plans to do then?"

"Not to us, none of it's been mentioned within the pack, either. We're not concerned exactly, but we need to have a plan in place."

"So you want me to check on that for you? Is that why I'm here?"

"Partly. We could have asked him ourselves, of course, but I just thought maybe he'd feel more comfortable talking it over with you instead of a bunch of old fogeys," she chuckled.

Jacob smiled, "Sooo, you mentioned 'partly' just now. What's the other part?" Jacob asked.

"Hmm, well I've thought it over and correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the feeling that your return to LaPush is just temporary," she looked at him quizzically, "Am I wrong to assume this?"

Wow, she knows me better than I thought, Jacob realized. He hadn't talked to anyone about his feelings about his home, or Bella or anything. This really took him by surprise.

Where's she going with this?

Sue took his silence as a yes. "Well I was thinking, provided Sam is okay with this, too, that when the time was right, if you'd want to live somewhere else for a while? It wouldn't have to be forever, just get away from here if it's too hard, and just figure some stuff out. I'll talk to Billy if you want. I'm sure he'd be fine with it, actually."

"What? Where?"

"How's Hawaii sound?"

"Hawaii?" He had no idea how he looked but he was dumbfounded. Sue was laughing at his reaction.

"Well, it's not like I'm asking you to swim there or fly to Mars or anything. Hawaii is just across the pond from here, and I believe you already know someone living there."

Jacob just realized who she was talking about, "Oh, Rebecca."

"Of course, Rebecca. Unless you have another sister living there that I don't know about."

Jacob's older sister, Rebecca was living in Hawaii with her husband, a well-respected, and successful Samoan surfer. They were doing pretty well for themselves from what he and Billy have heard.

Sue continued, "Planes leave out of Seattle for the islands all the time and airfare isn't expensive, believe it or not. I'd pay for your ticket and your expenses for the entire visit, within reason of course."

Jacob still couldn't believe it. Hawaii. This was about as unbelievable as it gets. There's no way he just heard that. He must still be in bed - dreaming. "What did Rebecca say?" he asked.

"She was all for it. She's coming for Sam's wedding so we can discuss the details then. Well?"

"Sue, why would you do this? I don't know what to say. Are you sure about this? How can you afford it?"

"Harry's life insurance. I'm not rich by any means, but I'm pretty comfortable now. I can certainly afford this, it would be my pleasure. It would be good for you to see there's life outside of Forks. Something beyond the trees."

"Sue, this is SO generous but I can't possibly..."

"Just think about it, okay?" she insisted.

Still completely shocked Jacob shook his head yes and got up to go.

Feeling guilty again, he tried to reason with her, "Sue, this is too much. You should give the money to Seth or Leah, something for their school, or a car or whatever. Buy a pony, I don't know."

Sue giggled, "Don't worry about the kids, they're already taken care of and besides, Leah has plans for school in the fall as long as her temper doesn't foul it up. Sam's worried about that, actually. But if she can tough it out till then that will be her path. Besides, Leah's a bridesmaid as you know and has her duties to Emily first."

"Yeah, I know, that's rough. I couldn't do it...I mean...well you know what I mean," Jacob laughed.

Sue laughed too. "She'll get through it, somehow. Leah's still in mourning and well, that takes time."

He wasn't sure what Leah was mourning: The loss of losing Sam, the loss of her father or the loss of her freedom. Surely the loss of Harry would overshadow everything else, but Leah was still really raw over Sam and Emily even though so much time had passed since he imprinted. Maybe it didn't matter which loss it was. Loss is loss.

Sue continued, "I learned all about this in grief counseling when Harry died, the stages; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. Guess which one Leah's in," she said, her eyebrow arching upward.

Jacob made a sound, something between a snort and a sucky teeth noise. Jacob wondered if there was a Cranky Ass Bitch phase in there somewhere. He hoped she'd hurry up and move to the rest.

Sue continued reading Jacob's answer on his face. "Leah's choosing to dwell on the past. Which means until she finally makes the decision to move on, I'm afraid you boys are just sort of stuck with it, sorry," she looked regretful.

Jacob exhaled, "So, you know the kinds of things she's been saying?"

"Oh yes, Seth's let me in on it," she said. "I've tried talking to her about it but she just rolls her eyes and says stuff like, 'If they can't handle it, too bad,' and walks away. Actually, if memory serves, she used a pretty choice word in there somewhere. I'm censoring her."

"Right," he gritted his teeth. He was reminded of their exchange at the door just now and was regretting not going off on Leah after all. I won't be so kind next time you little witch. "We can handle Leah, don't worry. We don't listen to her anyway. Our hides are pretty thick, like our skulls."

He didn't want to worry her, Sue had enough to worry about. He gave her a hug as he was leaving. "So, I guess I'll just see you at the wedding, then."

"Okay. Tell Billy I'll be by tomorrow evening. I'm taking him to Bingo."

Jacob couldn't suppress the surprise in his voice or on his face. "Oh! Uh, okay, I'll tell him."

And with that, Jacob left Sue's place feeling lighter than he had in ages. In fact, he was feeling so out-of-body he had a hard time concentrating on the best way to get home. He wound up getting turned around a couple of times. He thought it highly unlikely that he would take her up on her offer, but it sure felt nice to have someone on your side who understood. It also felt good to have options. Options are good.

The next few days passed rather quickly. It turns out weddings are time consuming, as Jacob realized. He helped out by taking Emily to do errands and her final fitting, while at the same time getting his tux taken in. They had to go by Sam's measurements while Jacob was gone, so it didn't fit quite right, mainly because of all the weight he had lost. But these were easy fixes. Standing in front of the full-length mirrors that show every angle at once, Jacob finally saw what everybody else had been seeing when they looked at him. He hardly recognized himself.

He really would have preferred to skip this step entirely. Being the only guy in a bridal shop with nearly every pair of eyes on you was enough to make a guy feel self-conscious. But he was glad to help. Anything to keep his mind off of his problems. This kind of stuff will just never make sense to a guy, though. Why go through all of this fuss when it's over in 10-15 minutes?

He was just glad it wasn't him in the middle of it. Poor Sam was a nervous wreck. Jacob didn't think he was nervous about the marriage, far from it. Just the wedding. Perhaps he was afraid Jacob would forget the rings which, as his best man, Jacob was pretty sure he could handle this one job, but Sam was still terrified. Maybe he was afraid of the bachelor party, and afraid of the fallout if he had too good a time. If that was it then he should be afraid, very afraid, but Jacob thought this was unlikely, too. Sam seemed a little extra worried these days.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emily asked, as she tried on different veils. She had already bought one but wasn't sure if it matched the vision in her head of how she wanted to look.

Jacob knew what she meant by this. She wanted to discuss Bella. "Not really," never looking up to meet her eyes, he continued to fuss with the collar, cussing under his breath.

Emily was eyeing Jacob suspiciously, trying to read him. "Well, can I ask something else then? I wouldn't ask ordinarily you know, you can choose to not answer if it's uncomfortable but…"

He looked her square in the eye this time. "Em, there's nothing to talk about because there's nothing to talk about. I'm fine really. Really," and faked a small smile for her.

"Okay."

She continued to fuss with the veil, switching one out with another. She didn't really seem interested in any of them and he wondered if his being here was really just her chance to talk to him alone. She seemed to have something on her mind.

Exhaling deeply, "What's on your mind, Em?" trying to keep any hint of annoyance out of his voice.

She raised her eyebrows, surprised that he changed his mind, and said, "It's nothing. I just, I uh, just wanted to say that I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't be the same without you," and smiled as much as her face would allow.

He never noticed her scars anymore, none of the pack did. But he noticed some people in the store looking at her, or worse, painfully trying to avoid looking at her. Emily wasn't stupid, or blind. She sees what they see in the mirror everyday, but in the eyes of everyone that loved her she was still the same beautiful Emily they always knew, and that in turn made her feel beautiful. Which actually made her beautiful again. In fact, she was glowing.

Emily quickly averted her eyes. He could tell she was on the verge of tears and looking him in the eyes would have toppled them over.

Ugh, I can't stand to see women cry, it breaks my friggin heart, he thought, angry at himself.

"Em, I'm sorry if I was short with you a minute ago. I guess I'm just…a jerk. I don't know what's wrong with me."

He quickly went over and gave her a little hug. Neither of them said anything that wasn't wedding related for the rest of the time in the store.

A short time later, after all the alterations were taken care of, they were driving home. Ordinarily Jacob would have the radio turned completely off, it seemed like every song that came on was either a love song or a break up song. But fearing Emily would bring that topic up again, he turned the radio up extra loud. It didn't work.

"Jacob, I have a question to ask, so just swallow your tongue or something till I'm done okay?" she said with confidence.

Jacob hung his head in defeat. He reached over and turned the radio off. He really didn't feel like discussing Bella with her or anybody. "Okay. Whatcha wanna know?"

"Okay, does Leah say anything to you about, me or Sam, or anything for that matter?"

This threw him.

"Uh, no, not to me anyway. I mean, I don't know any more than everybody else in the pack. Why do you ask?"

"Well, as you know she and I were really close once. Now we don't talk at all. I don't blame her in the least. But if things were on better terms, if it wasn't Sam I was marrying, she would have been my maid of honor, she'd be here helping me instead of you. I miss that. I miss her."

Of course. So much has gone down since Sam and Em got together, and so much is said about Sam and Leah's past that Jacob forgot about Emily and Leah's past. Their very-close-almost-sisterly relationship had come to a grinding halt.

"You know I didn't want Leah as my bridesmaid, right? I mean, given the circumstances, come on. I knew it would be asking way too much. I never even dreamed she'd say yes."

"So why did you?" he asked. "You had to know that would be hard for her."

"It sounds crazy, but it was family politics. It's complicated but I don't have too many female relatives of a certain age to stand with me up there. They're either too old, too young or couldn't come. My friends would have gladly stepped in but it was really important to my mom and her sisters that there be at least one family member in the bridal party. It's tradition. They really felt that even though it was poor timing and all, that once everything was set into motion it would all just work itself out somehow."

He scoffed and said, "They have met Leah haven't they?"

Emily laughed. "I know. It's crazy how those old ladies think. But then one of them asked me the question I never expected to have to answer. She asked, 'what would you do if things were reversed?'"

Jacob was confused at first but then realized, "Oh you mean, if Sam imprinted on Leah and then left you to be with her?"

She nodded.

"Wow."

"Yeah. They didn't want me to answer it right away, casually. As hard as it was, I had to do an awful lot of soul searching. I went back and forth for a while and just when I was sure I had an answer, I changed my mind again. I had a lot of stuff to sort out before I could answer honestly. Finally, I came to the same conclusion the ole biddies did. In spite of the hurt, in spite of potential embarrassment, I love my cousin, with all my heart. I really believe and feel that I would have put aside my feelings, for one day, for her. Because when it's all said and done, we're family. I love Sam but he'll never be my blood. Guys come and go, but Leah and I will always be family. And I know that ultimately, nobody could have helped how this turned out. Perhaps she feels she was betrayed and cheated on, but that's not the case. You know that. She might even feel this is all happening too soon but that's not true either. It's been two years."

It's been more than that actually, but it took Emily several more months before she finally developed feelings for Sam. Like Sue said, Leah's willfully hanging onto a grudge, feeding it and it feeding her.

"I hoped, too, that this wedding would in some way be the start of her letting go. In all this time, I don't think they've spoken two words to each other that wasn't pack related, unless you count insults. I hoped this would be her chance to, I don't know - close the chapter, if nothing else. You can't heal otherwise. In all this time, I don't think she's had a chance to do that. It's important to say goodbye," she said.

That last sentence carried a lot of gravity. His throat felt suddenly thick as he swallowed hard. He knew she was right. He knew she was speaking of Leah, but a part of him wondered if she was really speaking of …

"Are you okay? You got quiet, and well we're home."

He gasped. Somehow he had pulled into the driveway and parked with no memory of it. Twenty miles flew by and he doesn't recall seeing one road sign, car or tree. He must have been so engrossed in their conversation he was on automatic pilot.

"I'm fine."

This had been an amazing car ride. It took him a second to shake off the disorientation, as they brought their packages into the house. Just a few more days until the wedding and there was still lots to do.

Thank goodness.

Before they knew it, the day of the wedding had arrived. It was 15 minutes until the wedding and Jacob was looking all around the floor for something.

"Hey Sam, have you seen the rings? I thought I heard them fall somewhere around here."

Sam's eyes got as big as saucers and were literally changing color when Jacob broke out laughing.

Jacob ducked as Sam threw a flower vase at him shattering it against the window pane behind him. It would have hit Jacob, too, if he hadn't seen it coming a mile away.

A controlled growl escaped Sam's lips, "Don't do that to me you ass, you nearly scared me to death!"

"You gotta loosen up man. You're too serious," Jacob said, straightening his jacket as he stood. "I don't know what you're worried about anyway. It's not like she'd ever bail on you."

"That's not what I'm worried about," Sam said. He was clearly preoccupied with something and it was beginning to dawn on Jacob that it had nothing to do with cold feet.

"Well, what is it then? You've been grumpy for days."

"Well, I guess you're going to find out soon enough anyway." He was fussing with his tie, but no matter how much he fiddled with it it wouldn't lie the way he wanted. "I was against this you should know. I told her this is just going to cause all kinds of problems but she wouldn't listen to me," Sam said. After cussing some more he finally gave up on trying to make it straight and started all over.

Jacob wrinkled up his face in a confused expression. "Should I be worried?" he asked.

"Emily invited the Cullens...and Bella."

The sound of her name made Jacob flinch involuntarily. Jacob had done a careful job since he came back to not mention her name, to not even think about her. He had also been avoiding changing just so he didn't accidentally hear someone else mention her or the Cullens in the pack mind. Also, thanks to the wedding he had very little time to think about anything else. It honestly never occurred to him he would see her, or them, at Sam's wedding.

Wasn't there too much bad blood still? Maybe they wouldn't come, but just the possibility of seeing her again, coming in on his arm was enough to make Jacob want to explode.

Sam seeing Jacob's distress ordered in his Alpha voice, "Maintain, Jacob. Look at me. Relax!"

On receiving the order, Jacob did as he was told and was able to calm down enough to stop changing. His breathing slowed and his vision cleared up, no longer seeing red.

Furious, Jacob growled, "How could you not tell me? You've had all this time to say something! I can't believe you're telling me this now!"

"This is why I didn't tell you. You're like an open wound, Jacob. I need you, I need your help today. In case you haven't noticed I'm freaking-the-fuck-out, too!" Sam gave another exasperated grunt and yanked the tie out of its botched up loop and began to tie it again.

"This is my wedding day! I can't stand any of those Cullens any more than you, and the thought of having them at MY wedding...It's all I can do to stop changing myself and just do what needs to be done. But that would kill Emily if I ruined the wedding and it would kill me if I hurt her again. I-will-never-hurt-her-again!" Watching Sam speak through his teeth as if in pain, Jacob knew what cold dark place this came from in Sam's heart. Sam will never forgive himself for hurting Emily, not for as long as he lives and that can conceivably be for a very long time.

"Do you understand that, Jacob? Do you understand what it means to put someone you love above your own needs?"

Jacob taken aback by Sam's statement could only nod in agreement. He did understand in theory what it was like, at least somewhat to put someone else's needs ahead of your own. But always before he had had some ulterior motive or backup plan. It was never selfless, not the kind of selfless love Sam was speaking of. Jacob gave up fighting for Bella in large part because he knew it was eating her up to be so torn. But in his heart of hearts he knew she chose Edward. Maybe he was kidding himself for thinking he gave her up, when in fact it's always been Edward.

It was sort of hard to distinguish which of the things were genuine that Jacob did for her. To be honest, some of it had a self-serving purpose, making any truly selfless act all the less potent. Jacob wasn't a bad guy, and he knew this in his heart. He was just a guy, a teenager, selfish and self-centered, who made mistakes like anyone else. No better, no worse.

Which meant sometimes he had to learn the hard way, make bad choices and deal with the consequences. He wasn't proud of his past actions, and listening to Sam just now made him feel even more humbled.

Sam was important to him, Emily was, too, he loved her like a sister. It was his honor to stand up for Sam today. Taking Sam's lead he knew now that he would do it with a hundred vampires in the room if he had to. He will smile when he is supposed to smile, he will laugh when he is supposed to laugh and he will perform all of his best man duties to the letter.

For Sam and Emily, I will endure seeing Bella today, too, he thought. Finding the courage and resolve he'd been looking for, Jacob vowed to make good on his promises, he just hoped it was enough.

Taking a deep breath, Jacob said, "Okay. You want me here, I'm here. I'm here for you guys, all the way."

And he truly meant it.

Jacob slapped Sam's hands away and finished tying him up. They were ready. They shook hands just to end up hugging. Smiling guiltily, Jacob pulled the rings out of his inside jacket pocket to show Sam, who breathed a sigh of relief and mussed up Jacob's hair.

Just then, the other groomsmen came stumbling in all over each other and making a ruckus. The werewolf groomsmen were all dressed impeccably well and looked quite handsome even though none of them looked at all comfortable. The tailor had a time making alterations for them, not just because of their large size, but to accommodate any potential growth spurts. Everyone's fingers were crossed that they didn't grow right out of their clothes today.

Following close behind, Leah walked into the room, looking quite stunning in her silky, knee-length, taupe bridesmaid's dress. Ignoring the guys' wolf whistles she came to say those two fateful words:

"It's time."

A/N: Disclaimer, the characters, setting and familiar situations belong to Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement intended. I'm not making any monetary profit from this.

***Jacob's reasons for turning down the Alpha position was never discussed to my satisfaction in the books so I had to address it but the whole answer will come in a later chapter. I just wanted to bring it to light. Also, Jacob had a lot of growing up to do and no time to do it in the books. He dealt with the wolf/vampire thing pretty well, but still needed to grow up and I'm helping him do that, even if it means he's got to eat crow sometimes. It's good for him. I hope my explanation for Leah and Emily was enough, although to be honest no explanation will ever be enough for me. Why would SM put Leah in the wedding party? That's just cruel. I don't think that would ever happen in real life. Does anyone know why she did that? I mean, WTF ? !***