A/N: Autumn: Wow, long review is long! I like Wren too and I just ignored the character masquerading as Nicolette for that book. Night Pleasures was the first Dark Hunter book I read (I don't count Fantasy Lover as it's more of a prequel standalone) and it did take me a while to get into it. My favourite book is still Vane and Bride's. Mostly because I love Bride! Though it irritated me that it didn't go more into the ex-boyfriend. I dunno, it was like he was just a plot device. So much more could've been done!

Omg, if Wren and Bride had been paired together, Bride would have gotten rid of Wren's troubles in like…a week. And then Wren would have used his money to start a monopoly of the retail industry run by Bride.

And then they would take over the world.

This needs to be written.

I am going to write this.

###

Advent - December 11th

###

Dean knows what she is now.

The woman that is. With the wings.

She's a reaper.

Dean is going to die. Or is dying. Fuck if he knows.

Only yes, yes he does know because the knife is sharp and cold and he can feel his heart stuttering around it, trying to beat. It's failing.

The knife has also pierced his lung because it's suddenly getting hard to breathe and blood bubbles across his lips when he does manage.

Dean takes a shaking breath and looks behind him.

There's a woman there, smiling like she's just won everything. Well, Dean thinks she's a woman, but there's something off about her – like she's not actually human. But before he can figure out what she is his powers start to fade.

"Hi, Dean." She says brightly. "Guess you never thought you'd see me again."

Dean stares at her, uncomprehendingly, and she pouts which is so, so wrong.

"Aw, Dean, you don't remember me?"

Dean doesn't.

He doesn't even think he should because he's pretty sure-

"It's me," She says, "Meg." Her smile turns vicious, "What's wrong? Thought I was hiding after you killed my father? Thought I'd died?"

Dean opens his mouth to tell her that she can kiss his ass but before he can she yanks the knife out of his chest, giving it a sneaky little half-twist, and the breath that he had managed to take whooshes out of him.

"That's not very nice, Dean." She says, like he'd actually managed to tell her how much he hates her.

Dean can't concentrate on this though. His vision is turning black and his knees crumple but Meg's there and guiding him down gently to the floor, shushing him. Like a mother to a kid with a scraped knee.

It's wrong on so many levels.

She leans close to his ear and whispers, "It's alright, Dean. I've got you. I'm here. I'll make it all better. Then we can play."

Dean shivers. But he's not sure if it's because of her voice – there's no way she's human – or if it's because he's suddenly very, very cold.

Meg pats him lightly on the chest, right on the hole, and his body jerks at the pain. She smoothed her other hand across his forehead, brushing his hair out of his eyes.

Dean's staring at her, wide eyed. He knows he is and he knows he doesn't want to be but with the knife out of his chest he's bleeding out a lot faster. His chest and back are warm, from the blood, but it's not warming him.

"Close your eyes, Dean." She says, "You'll wake up a better person."

Dean refuses and tries to tell her that she can shove it, only his mouth's not working and he's not even sure he's able to mouth the words at her.

She smirks. She knows it too.

Dean tries to concentrate, but everything is kind of soupy and far away. He blinks a few times, as if this will settle everything. There's a rhythmic pounding and Dean thinks it might be his heart, only is heart is kind of broken at the moment so it can't be that.

It's Sam.

Dean can hear Sam pounding his way down the corridor towards him.

He hopes that Sam finally kills Meg. If he's allowed a dying wish, this is what it would be.

The world fades to black completely and sound drains from it.

This is what dying feels like.

Huh, he would've thought he'd be fighting this more. But then, Dean didn't really expect this, and there's no Artemis to come save him this time.

Something hot presses against his throat and that's about the moment that he finally fades.

###

Sam can't breathe.

He can't breathe and the light is too bright and Dean's blood is too red and the corridor is too fucking long.

And worst of all, a stranger is crouching next to his brother pressing something small and round against Dean's throat.

He's going to kill her.

Sam doesn't even care anymore. He's been through too much and he's going to kill the bitch that has just stuck a knife through Dean's chest in front of Sam – like Dean wasn't anything. Like Sam hadn't prayed for the last year to someone or something to keep Dean alive. Like his prayers hadn't been answered – albeit unconventionally.

Sam's almost there and he discards his shotgun – throwing it to the side because he doesn't want to hit Dean. Not when there's a chance that Dean could be brought back.

Ash is here. Ash can save him.

Except then he feels strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him back.

He struggles. God, he struggles. But the arms are like granite and nothing he does can shift them. He still strains forward though, yelling for Dean because his brother is dying. His brother is lying in a rapidly spreading pool of blood and that's Dean's blood on the floor. That's Dean's blood that's soaking into his clothes and god damn it why can't he move?

He struggles and doesn't take his eyes off his brother, but he does hear a voice start filtering through.

It's Ash.

Ash is saying No, Sam and don't interrupt and I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this is all my fault.

And Sam want's to scream and shout and ask why! Why can't he save Dean, why can't he interrupt the woman who's just stuck a knife through his brother and why is it all Ash's fault when he saw, he watched his brother crumple on the woman's knife.

There's a high pitched keening noise that Sam belatedly realises is coming from him.

Then it's like someone's cut all his tendons because he sags in Ash's grip and crumples to the floor in a mock parody of his brother's death.

Ash goes down with him. He's pressed completely against Sam's back, like he can anchor him to this time, this moment.

A small part of Sam knows that Ash is doing this for a reason. That there's something going on here that he doesn't understand.

That it's a really bad idea to interrupt whatever's happening.

He knows this because Ash has never lied to him. Ash has always put up with his annoying questions and phone calls at all times of the day.

Ash has never brushed him off. At all. And Sam's grateful for that. More than he first realised because Ash is like the best friend he's never had that wasn't his brother or Jess.

And Sam needs that. Needed it before he even realised he did.

So he knows Ash has his reasons. He knows.

But Sam's still stuck on seeing his brother gasping for breath and watching as Dean's chest hitches once, twice and then lets out a rattle as Dean seems to collapse in on himself.

Sam's crying.

He knows. He can feel it hot against his cheeks.

And Ash is still talking to him, mouth pressed against his ear, rocking them slightly.

"It's alright Sam." He's whispering, "It's alright. I'm so sorry. He's not dead yet. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's not dead yet, trust me. Please, please, please. He's not. She has his soul. That's his soul. It's an out-clause. He's not dead."

And "Gods I'm sorry. Not again, not again, not again. Don't hate me, Sam. Not again. Please, I don't think I can take this again. He's not dead. He's not. Trust me, Sam. Trust me, please, Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam."

Sam twitches. He wants to trust. Wants to sink back into Ash's embrace but he can't because he can't relax and stop and he's sobbing because it's happening again.

"Stop," Sam croaks out, surprised at himself, "Please stop."

Ash falls silent, his mouth still pressed against Sam's ear.

But Sam can't find the time to say – it's not you I'm talking to Ash, it's her. It's her, it's her, it's her. Don't stop Ash. You're everything. I can't concentrate. Don't let me go. Don't let me fall. Don't leave me here with my brother's corpse. Not again. Not again, not again, not again.

Instead Sam brings his hands up and grips Ash's wrist. Trying to show that he wasn't talking to him whilst saying "Please, stop." And, "Why? Why are you doing this?"

The woman looks up and she smiles.

Smiles.

Like she hasn't just killed Dean in front of him.

"Aw, Sammy." She says, "I get a new body and nobody knows me? I'm shocked and a little hurt."

And then her eyes turn black and Sam knows.

"Meg," he chokes out.

Meg's smile widens. "There now," she says, like he's just worked out a huge problem, "that wasn't so hard was it?"

Sam wants to scream at her. But then there's a choking noise and Dean's chest is rising again, taking in deep gulps of air, and Dean's coughing out mouthfuls of blood.

Sam's keening, but Ash is still holding onto him tightly.

Meg pushes herself back, keeping out of the way as Dean rolls onto his side, coughing and spitting and gasping.

He's alive.

Dean's alive.

He's alive, he's alive, he's alive.

Ash was right.

Sam tightens his grip on Ash's wrist, trying to convey thank you and I trust you and I've always trusted you.

Dean's pushing himself to his knees and Sam can't look away.

Dean looks at his hands, then at his chest. He touches the hole in his shirt with a look of shock on his face and Sam grins. He grins so widely that he can feel his cheeks start to cramp because his brother is here and hasn't been taken.

Then Dean looks up at him. Dean's eyes are wide but there's hope there – Sam can see it. There's also shock and Sam can see Dean trembling from here. But he knows when he'll point it out that Dean will say it's from blood loss, not from anything else.

"What the hell?" Dean breathes out, "What the hell?"

And Sam wants to laugh because that's so like Dean.

But Meg's been too quiet.

Sam doesn't even get a moment's warning before Meg's there – right there – behind Dean and that knife is flashing again.

Dean's eyes widen but he doesn't break his gaze with Sam.

And Dean's choking again. Choking on blood. His blood.

There's a line running across his throat, and then a sheet of red that cascades down his front.

Sam chokes along with him.

Then Dean is falling forwards, his hand outstretched to Sam, and he's lying on the floor and he's not moving and Sam doesn't know what to do.

Sam's cold. He's too cold and how? Why?

Ash is frozen behind him as well.

They're all frozen and there's no sound and its like time has stopped and why isn't Dean moving.

Then Meg shifts and everything is brought back into focus. Sam can only watch, in shock, as she stands and brushes at her knees. As if she can brush off the blood trickling down her shins.

"Well," she says, "that was fun."

And Sam screams.

He screams and screams and screams and yells and strains forward. And through it all Meg just smirks at him and looks down at him condescendingly.

Sam wants Ash to let go. Sam wants to get his hands on Meg.

He's not sure what he'll do. Probably tear her apart with his bare hands. But he wants her. He wants to hurt her so badly he can taste blood.

Only that's not his blood. It's Dean's.

He can taste Dean's blood in his mouth because the corridor is practically full of it.

And then he's gagging and retching because he can taste his brother's death.

Meg rolls her eyes, "Oh do shut up. You knew this was coming. Did you think that we'd just let you get away with breaking the deal and not pay the price?" she scoffs, "Be reasonable Sam."

Sam really, really wants to kill her.

Meg looks behind him, at Ash, and her eyes are still black. "You won't be able to bring him back." She says, "His soul is in hell, as per the contract. It's fulfilled and you can't take one step in there.

"Dean is ours."

Her eyes flick to Sam again and she shows her teeth. "I'm going to have fun playing with him."

And then she's gone and Sam is left alone.

Ash's arms finally move and Sam slumps forward, landing heavily on his forearms. He wants to crawl forward. Wants to crawl to Dean and curl up beside him and know that Dean is just asleep and if Sam nudges him then he'll wake up.

He'll wake and grumble and then protect Sam against the monsters out there.

But he can't. Sam can't make himself because he knows that Dean's gone. Gone for good this time. And he can't get there and touch Dean and find him dead.

He bows his head and sobs.

He wants it to be over now. Only it isn't and it can't be and he won't let it end like this. Sam just needs a moment.

And then Sam realises that he's not the only one that's crying. And when he turns to look he finds children in the room Dean just died outside of.

So Sam gets up.

He stands and staggers over, his feet slipping in Dean's blood, falling to his knees a few times. He stands and goes over to the children and Ash follows.

And then they get the children out of the building because that's what Sam does. That's what he's been trying to do all his life.

Save innocents.

Only this time he has to step over the cooling body of his brother to do so.

Sam refuses to look down or focus on anything that isn't getting the kids to safety because he can't handle anything else right now. And he knows that if he stops to think about it then he's going to break down, right here and now, and there are people counting on him to stay strong.

There are still daimons in the building, and Sam needs to get the children to safety, and there are daimons and the children are unsafe, and-

Ash's hand brings him out of it and he blinks to find himself in the foyer.

There's a lot less screaming and it looks like the police and other emergency services have arrived finally.

The children make a break for the door when they see it and Sam wants to follow. Wants to just leave and go home and wake up and see Dean sleeping the bed next to him.

He chokes.

Ash is still there, hesitant, but Sam can't look at him right now.

There's a voice in the back of Sam's head saying you're in shock, you're in shock, you're in shock over and over again.

Then Ash's hand is on his back, burning between his shoulder blades, and Sam starts to shake.

Ash makes a pained noise and pulls Sam to him, wrapping his arms around him. And Sam finds his face pressed against Ash's shoulder and his arms wrapping around Ash's waist.

There's a lurch and the next time Sam looks up he's not in the hospital any more. He's not even in the apartment. He's in a huge room with a wall of television and a throne.

And Dean's body is lying on the floor.

Whatever Ash's done has cleaned him up. Dean is wearing his favourite t-shirt and jeans and his throat isn't gaping like a second mouth anymore.

Dean looks like he's sleeping.

And that makes it all the worse because he's not.

He's never going to wake up again.