Chapter Two: Reflections

Night came quickly, as it still seemed to do in the early part of the year. Robin and his men had already bedded down for the night, having a warm meal in their stomachs to hold them through the night. There was an air of safety felt between them, the feelings of tension and worry long gone. Robin pulled his hood up further to conceal his face, crossing his arms over his chest as he closed his eyes. It was only moments later that he could feel the bedding shift as Much laid down next to him.

The close quarters kept them all warm, and Robin actually preferred it that way, having spent so many years sleeping in the Holy Lands. There were many nights he and his companions had slept back to back, sharing what body heat they had to stave off the never ending chill that was cast upon the land at darkness. Along with warmth, it also provided safety. The same safety Robin felt now, and he let out a placid sigh.

"You don't think he will tell him, do you?"

Robin opened an eye warily at the question, turning to him. "Who will tell what?'

"Gisborne," Much responded, "our camp?"

Robin's brow furled as he tried to muddle through the man's words. He was already tired, and half the time Robin wasn't certain if Much actually made any sense or not. "What?"

"No one knows where our camp is save for us…and Collin."

"So?" Robin shook his head, closing his eyes again.

"So what if he tells Gisborne now that he's working for him?"

"And what reason would he have for doing so?"

"Well…because he's Gisborne's man now…sort of like a code of conduct or something."

Robin snorted, shaking his head. He opened his eyes, meeting Much's gaze briefly. "I have a code of conduct as well; it is called 'go to sleep'."

The response evoked quiet laughter from among the group, bringing a smile to Robin's lips even as he closed his eyes once again. But the response only seemed to fuel Much's need to continue.

"Laugh now, but you won't be laughing when he brings Gisborne back here with an army…an army of men…nasty men. Then we'll be arrested…and hanged…I hate being hanged…"

"Much," Robin cut him off firmly. "Enough. Go to sleep."

"I can't sleep now," the man huffed, "not when he's out there, knowing our secret…we should move the camp."

"Much, shut up," Allan muttered harshly, his own voice strenuous and tired.

"Go, to sleep," Robin told him again, meeting his gaze this time. Much stared back , moving to speak again but Robin was quick to cut him off. "Now."

It was only when he complied that Robin lay back down, closing his eyes. He knew that he needed the sleep if they were to head off early to the villages the next day. The others would be fine, he knew, but for himself, he would be lagging behind unless he got his rest now. The silence was welcoming, the soft sounds of the forest a familiar piece of music by now, something as natural as the quiet breaths of his companions, the soft snores, the…

"But what if he does tell?"

Robin let out a sigh, groaning as he did so. "Much, for the love of King Richard, will you just go to sleep?"

"I'm being serious," Much pointed out.

"So am I," Robin answered, moving to his feet.

"Where are you going?" It was Will who had spoken now, moving to sit up.

"Somewhere quiet."

Robin didn't wait for anyone to respond, and if they did, he was gone before he could hear them. The night air greeted him fiercely as he left the warm confinements of the camp, moving in and out the trees in a zigzagged pattern, fighting off a yawn as he continued to walk.

Overhead the skies were clear, the moon shining down; its nearly full frame provided adequate light in the darkness. Even so it was hard to see exactly where he was going, but Robin pressed on with his solitary walk, needing to calm down.

He could feel the ground start to level out, knowing now that he had reached the bottom of the hill. With a sigh he eased himself down, leaning against a tree as he brought his knees up against his chest. Already the chill of the night was starting to get to him, and Robin hugged his knees trying to provide the little bit of warmth he desired.

Though he held a certain kind of love for the man that had become his friend, he also held a sort of disdain for him as well. Much knew no limits, most certainly at times when it was most needed. While the others couldn't yet fully trust Collin, Robin had believed his own trust was enough to convince Much. The others hadn't been there when Collin and Sarah had found him, they hadn't been there when slipped outside the dungeon…they hadn't been there when Robin had his first taste of freedom and fresh air. In the short time Robin had come to fully trust the other man…

He let out a sigh, pressing his forehead to his knees. "You can come out, I know you're there."

The footfalls he had barely heard were more than distinguishable now, his follower no longer trying to stay hidden as they drew closer.

"I'm not going anywhere," Robin said curtly, scowling as he turned away.

"Good, but that is not why I came."

He turned to face her, the anger still on his face. "Why did you come then?"

"You are angry," Djaq told him softly, sitting near him.

"Obviously," Robin shook his head. The last thing he needed was the obvious pointed out.

"And you moved quickly," she continued, "I need to check your stitching, make sure you did not break it again."

"It's fine."

"That's what you said last time; it was not fine then."

"Leave it," Robin told her coldly, his voice barely above a whisper, "and leave me. I do not need any supervision."

His words did not seem to bother her. "And so you believe last time; you were nearly killed."

He turned on her quickly, "I've nearly been killed many times," he reminded her, "No one got after me so; not like now."

"You are angry because we care?"

"No," Robin shook his head, "I am angry that everyone feels the need to watch after me. I am angry because everyone questions my word. That no one trusts my decisions and I am angry because no matter what I do, I cannot even get the moment of solitude that I so desperately seek. Sometimes I wonder why I choose to even stay here."

"You do not care about us?"

Robin let out a sigh, forcing himself to calm down. "I did not mean that."

"But you feel it," she pressed, the hurt obvious in her voice.

Robin shook his head slowly, closing his eyes. How could he explain what was in his heart and on his mind? Could he even do so without losing rational thought?

"I feel so many things," Robin confessed quietly after a moment had passed. "I am angry…not at you, or the others, but at myself for allowing things to come to this. I am tired…tired of not being trusted…and I…I am afraid. Afraid that one day we will fail in this…afraid that King will not return…afraid that…"

"You will lose the trust of your people?"

Robin swallowed quietly, nodding. Somehow it made it easier that he didn't have to say it. "They will know what happened before long; they will know Gisborne and his men bested me. They will wonder why…"

He shook his head, letting out a sigh; he could not finish. "It does not matter."

"They will wonder why you do not kill him?"

Robin nodded solemnly, "Sometimes I wonder it myself," he laughed bitterly, "you must think me a coward."

"Not a coward," Djaq shook her head. "A fool maybe, but not a coward."

"And this is supposed to cheer me up?" Robin wondered.

"No," Djaq smiled at him. "It is only the truth. The killing of men, it does not make a difference. How many men have been killed already, and yet the war still goes on?"

"In war, the reality that you would face the same man more than once in a rare one; and even so you wouldn't recognize him."

"You recognized Gisborne," Djaq told him. "He was in the war. He bested you then, still you faced up to him."

It was true, and something he had never thought about. Slowly he nodded, resting his chin on his knees. "I will have to face him again; I don't know if I will have the courage to do so."

"You will; you have us."

Robin smiled, turning to meet her gaze. "And all of you have been loyal; I had no reason to become angry. Forgive me."

"You have no reason to hide from us," she told him, moving to her feet. "Are you coming?"

"In a moment; I need some time."

He expected her to argue, so it was a surprise when she simply nodded instead. Robin watched her leave, letting out his own sigh as he closed his eyes. If things were ever going to get back to normal, the man knew he had to stay strong until then.

Morning coming was both a blissful and yet unwelcoming event. He was tired, and stiff from the short night's sleep. Never having returned to the camp Robin was surprised no one had come looking for him. Then again he hadn't meant to fall asleep where Djaq had left him. He quickly shook off the feeling the best he could, heading back to wake the others.

Whether they knew of his absence during the night or not, he could not be sure, and he wasn't going to willingly divulge the information. It had not been smart on his part, he knew that; and he wasn't going to give them yet another reason to harp on him. No one asked though, not even Djaq who eyed him suspiciously. Robin had met her glare only briefly, then chose to ignore it.

By the time the sun was high overhead they had left camp, breaking up into smaller groups as they reached the villages. Robin carried a small money bay with him, Much next to him as they entered Knighton Hall. The damage that was done that one night could be seen, several of the houses still in ruins, some past repair. It would take months, he knew, before everything would be as it once was.

In his heart though, he knew that it never would be the same. Even as he walked through the village, the streets were clouded with dust and smoke, and the air filled with silent cries from the victims. Robin could still remember it vividly, and he shook his head, trying to banish the memory.

"Robin? No one thought we would see you around here so soon."

Robin smiled as he came up along the fence, resting against it. "Joseph; it has been some time."

"The Sheriff's men told us you were dead; after all you've done…I didn't want to believe it. All of us, we were overjoyed when we heard it was not true."

"How are you holding up?" Robin asked instead, barely hearing the comment.

Joseph let out a sigh, shaking his head. He was an older man, still able to carry his own weight, but the years were starting to get to him. "It has been hard…she was to get married, you know. My daughter Ann…"

"My men told me," Robin whispered sympathetically. He had first heard of her death only days after escaping the castle dungeons. The same young woman who had given him a flicker of hope, who had made it to the forest to warn his men. The gang had found her, but by that time she was already dead.

"They gave her a burial; she was a good woman, I'm sorry."

Joseph nodded, glancing at him. "She was not the only one who died Robin. There are many of us…we lost many that night. Maybe all of us would have died…if it was not for you. We were never told why it happened; many are leaving, they are afraid."

"They shouldn't have to live in fear," Robin told him.

"No…but we've been through similar bouts…and we have always pulled through. With so many hurting, it's hard. Today is market day Robin, what food I have…I've been giving so much of it away. No one can afford to buy it. They lost husbands, fathers…and they lost wives and children. Some do not wish to work because they have no reason for it any longer."

"What little you do helps Joseph," he nodded towards him. "Everyone is struggling. The winter was hard."

"The Sheriff's men are coming later to buy the rest of my meat. They are offering to pay double what I charge."

"They are desperate then," Robin let out a sigh, coming to terms with how bad things actually were. "If the Sheriff gets a hold of the food…no one in your village will eat."

"Call me heartless Robin, but I can use that money. Tax collections were not spared just because what has happened."

"I know, but what little bit you give, can help out a lot."

Joseph smiled at him, shaking his head. "I suppose I can give you half my stock…then sell the rest to the guards. Just tell them that the winter killed off most of the livestock."

"Thank you, my friend," Robin nodded towards him, pulling out a few coins. "For your loss."

But he only shook his head, refusing to take them. "I will get enough from the guards; the money there can go to someone who needs it more."

"Are you sure?"

Joseph nodded, "Do it for my daughter, for her memory."

Robin nodded with a smile, "That I can do."

Locksley was as he remembered it, and he couldn't deny the fact that his heart longed to return and stay here. This had been home; he had grown up here, and taken over the lands from his father, and had carved out a life here. The war in the Holy Lands had pulled him away, and returning after the long absence had been welcoming. But there had been so much done in his absence, so much hurt, so much wrong. That was something Robin would never be able to fix.

"The nerve of that man," Much shook his head as he came to a stop near him. "Parading in and out of your house…acting like it is his. Along with his men…and your new best friend…"

"Jealous?" Robin wondered, watching him. He grinned and turned back to the village before him. Gisborne could be seen moving about the land with his guards, and it wasn't hard for Robin find Collin.

"Of him?" Much laughed, then grew silent. "No. He's snobbish…and…a showoff. He's galling…nothing to be jealous of."

"They're up to something," Robin said quietly, watching as they entered the house that formerly was his own. "We need to find out."

"We should come back then," Much agreed, "Later…when we have the others with us. You…you said…nothing risky today. You said that, you did."

"We should pay our friends a visit," Robin commented, ignoring the other man.

"Gisborne is down there…with guards…we should go back."

"Oh come on," Robin clapped him on the back. He could not deny the worry inside of him, but neither would he pass up an opportunity such as this.

"Nothing risky?"

Robin eyed him as he started to leave the woods.

"Master," Much let out a sigh, hurry after him.

"We're just going to have a little chat, that's all."

"You promise?"

Robin turned to him, letting out a sigh as he nodded. "Now let's go."

This time he didn't wait for a response from the other man. He knew full well that Much would protest if given the chance, and Robin knew in his heart that if he backed away now, he wouldn't be able to muster up the courage for a similar feat later on. Thankfully, he knew the lay of the land well enough to know where and how to sneak in without being seen.

Their first stop was in the shadows underneath the awning of a barn. He watched as the remaining guards dwelled in front of the house, looks of boredom crossing their face. Robin smiled as he reached up to pull his hood up, helping to conceal his features. "I'll need a distraction."

"What?" Much shook his head, "Master surely…"

"My friend," Robin smiled at him.

The other man let out a groan, shaking his head again. "Why is it always me."

Even as he left Robin had turned his attention back to them, waiting now for the right moment to move. It came a few seconds later, he could hear Much yell, and the sound of crashing, a commotion starting. Instantly the guards where moving, shouting commands to halt.

If there was one thing, it was that Much knew how to create a distraction. Robin wasted no time, pushing himself to his feet as he rounded the house. Climbing up was easy, given the time that he needed. He jumped up, grabbing the first window ledge and hauled himself up, meanwhile keeping a sharp eye on Much. The man was already running back towards the woods, and Robin knew he wouldn't have much time left.

Edging around the corner he pulled himself up to the roof, glancing down as Gisborne came racing out of the house to see what the commotion was about. Robin took the opportunity to slip through the open window, landing hard on the ground inside.

Immediately there was a sword at his throat, and Robin held his breath as he regained his balance. Perhaps looking first would have been a good idea, but time hadn't been a luxury. He turned to face his opponent now, hands raising slightly as his mind worked to figure a way out of this.

"Why do you always insist on doing this?"

Robin laughed, sidestepping the blade as he pushed his hood back. "I find it more interesting that way."

"And how do you propose on getting out of here?" Collin asked him, sheathing his sword.

"I have a plan," Robin shrugged. "So, this is where you are staying?"

"Gisborne has moved your servants out; they are residing in the barn."

He let out a sigh, shaking his head. Not even his own people were safe from the man's actions. "These are my people Collin."

"Robin…I don't give out the orders; you know this."

"But you choose to go along with them."

"It is not like he is ordering me to kill people," Collin told him quickly.

"Still doesn't make it right."

"Robin, you rob from people. How can you talk about what is right and what is not when not even you follow the letter of the law?"

"This is about moral obligations," Robin told him. "Not the law. The law isn't always right."

"Look," he let out a sigh, "I will watch over them. That is all I can promise though."

"Why so many guards?"

"What?"

The new question had come up without so much of a warning. Robin didn't pity him, instead he turned to face him. "Gisborne normally does not have guards with him. Why now?"

"He is worried you might be after him."

"Gisborne? Afraid of me?" Robin shook his head. "Interesting."

"You are a renowned marksmen," Collin reminded him. "Gisborne certainly has given you a reason."

"And if I had a reason, Gisborne would already be dead. No, something else is going on. Gisborne knows I will not kill him; and even if believed that, he knows guards won't stop me. What else do you know?"

Collin shook his head, watching him. "Do you think I would withhold information from you?"

"Well?"

"He has said nothing," the man answered. "If I do find out, then you will know."

"I will find out," Robin told him quietly. "Whatever Gisborne has up his sleeve, it can't be good."

"There is more," Collin nodded to him.

"Tell me."

"There is to be a banquet, tomorrow night, a ball of sorts if you would call it. Many of the Nobles will be there, giving contributions to King Richard. There should be a rather large donation."

"That will certainly feed everyone for quite some time," Robin mused. "Thanks for the warning." He glanced over his shoulder as Gisborne's voice filled the house.

"You should go," Collin told him.

"Already gone," Robin answered with a smile. "Here, consider it payment."

Collin barely caught the apple that was tossed towards him, the man shaking his head. "Just go."

TBC