Someone was screaming Jack knew that much. Loud, anguished shrieks that seemed to never end. The reprieve between each one was less frequent. Jack struggled against the blankets that wrapped around his body but it was difficult. He was still in pain, though he couldn't remember why. He tried to bring his arms up but his shoulders were stiff, he tried to kick his legs out but they were dead weight, he tried to move his head but he saw stars.

The screaming had to stop, it just had too. It was driving him insane. The volume ricocheted inside his skull, it echoed in parts of his mind that he didn't even know he had. The screaming continued and continued and continued and continued. He wanted to cry out, to scream back that it needed to stop. Somewhere in his head a voice called out to him. It was a soft voice, maybe a woman's, and it tried calming him.

"Don't worry." The voice flitted through.

"Shh, calm yourself, everything will be okay."

A particularly loud scream broke through the voice, "No! Please, just stop!"

The voice in his head took shape in front of him, it was a woman. She smiled down at him, leaning forward and brushed hair out to his eyes. Her fingers cupped his cheeks, as if they were lovers. Jack tried to shake off her hand but it only served to make his stomach clench painfully at the jerky movement. Her eyes looked down sadly at him, almost disappointed it seemed. He stopped trying to struggle, it was only causing him more pain.

"Jack, you need to be strong okay?"

He didn't nod but she took his silence as an okay. Her hand left his face and she stood up, stalking towards the door. Her hand grabbed the handle and she looked over her shoulder at him, he just stared at her. As she threw open the door the screams attacked him, consumed him, took him over. The hall was too bright to look at but when his eyes adjusted he noticed that the woman was gone, in her place was his father. That's when he realised the screams were coming from his own mouth.

"Ya look like shit." Apparently Rob was good at stating the obvious.

Jack just took another hit of his cigarette as reply.

"So, ah, what happened?" Jack glared angrily.

"Okay, okay, I take it you don't want to talk about it." That was an understatement if one had even been made.

"But ya know kid, I'm not teaching you how to use a knife for nothing." Jack sighed.

Rob took a hit of his own cigarette and held the smoke in for a few moments, thoughtfully, before blowing it out. It was still cold outside, even with the sun blaring its golden color down on the two. They sat on the old rickety stairs, smoking quietly now. Below them was a courtyard. It wasn't anything special but there were kids outside playing. They threw snowballs and it reminded Jack of the little boy, Henry. He caught himself wondering if the little boy had gotten beaten like he had when he went home, hopefully not.

Jack took in another puff, anger, red and hot, filling him. His head was pounding, his body was aching and for the love of God he was in the foulest of moods. His father had almost killed him. Almost being the key word, though Jack couldn't understand why his father didn't just finish him off already. Too much of a coward, his mind supplied. Yeah, that was it. His father beat on him because he knew, just knew Jack couldn't do anything back. Wouldn't dare, wouldn't even dream of it.

And why the fuck not? Jack growled angrily. Why didn't he just stick a knife deep between his father's ribs? Why didn't he slit his throat while he slept? Why didn't he provoke him, then stab him to death when he least expected it? Why didn't he? Why didn't he?

"Ya know, if your face stays like that, the wind will change and it'll get stuck."

Jack took another hit and the fire burnt his fingers. He hadn't realised it was done, when did that happen? Hadn't he just lit it? He threw it down and it went out with a small sizzle in the snow. He put his abused fingers in the snow as well, to cool off. Rob chuckled next to him and threw his own down. Jack felt a hand squeeze his shoulder but he didn't look at Rob. The junkie sighed as if expecting it.

"C'me on kid, let's get inside before one of us freezes to death."

When they went inside Jack was surprised to see a woman in there. Her back was turned to them but her long black hair was dirty and she was thin, sickly thin. She turned at the sound of the door closing but her eyes looked light years away. A needle was sticking out of her pale skin.

"Amy! I didn't know you were stopping by! I would have cleaned up." Jack noticed Rob slick his hair back.

"I didn't tell you on purpose."

"Ahh." Rob let his hand drop.

"So what brings you here? Besides the drugs." The woman rolled her eyes.

"Got off work early today. Figured I was welcome."

"You know you are!" Rob took a seat on the couch next to her and Jack took his seat.

"So who's the stud?" Jack felt a heat rise on his neck.

"'Im? That's the kid." She frowned.

"And what's he doing here? I sure hope you're not selling to him Robert."

"No no no!" Rob put his hands up, "I'm just teaching the kid a few things. Looks like he needs help don't he?"

Her lips were pressed into a firm line but she didn't say anything. Her eyes roamed over his face and Jack felt himself grow redder. He wasn't used to having woman look at him this closely and she was pretty. Sickly looking but one could still see that she was, her nose was slender and hooked down with just the right curve. Her cheekbones were high and distinguished. She must have been something before the drugs.

She turned away from him.

"I'm telling you Robert. If I find out you're selling to a kid, I'll rat you out."

"I'm not stupid! Jeez Amy!" He threw his hands up in the air.

"Just letting you know."

Jack was uncomfortable for the rest of the time Amy was there. She glanced at him every so often but didn't ask him anything. Her and Rob's conversation was uneventful for the most part. She only got mad when he let it slip that 'the kid' was going to help him sell.

"You fucking bastard!"

"Look! The kid knows what he's getting into! I'm teaching him everything I know! You should see it! He's a natural with my baby!"

"I don't care if he's a God at it! You're setting him up for some nasty shit and I don't like it one bit!"

She left not long after that and it was just the two of them. The old man wasn't even there.

"Jezz, fucking women." Rob muttered.

"Why's she like that? She uses doesn't she? Seems a bit hypocritical to me." Jack supplied.

"Look, don't talk when you don't know anything kid."

Jack didn't press the matter anymore.

When Jack left he noticed the woman was sitting on the stairs, waiting for him. He sat down next to her and pulled out his pack, taking two out and offering her one. She took it and set it between thin lips. He lit hers first then his own. He inhaled slowly, waiting for her to say something but she didn't. They sat in silence and Jack thought that maybe it was stupid to have sat down, maybe he should have just walked away.

She shivered, tightening her jacket around her shoulders. She took a small puff and blew it out her nose. Jack opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off.

"Save it, I know I'm a hypocrite. Save it for someone who cares."

"Then-"

"Look, you don't know what you're doing. How old are you anyway?"

"Fift-"

She burst out laughing, her shoulders shook and it took some time for her to let up.

"Ha! Fifteen! You're still a child."

"No, I'm-"

"Don't. You're a child. I'm thirty five. Trust me kid. You don't know what you're doing."

"Don't treat me like a baby!" Jack shouted and stood.

She eyed him quietly before looking back forward. Jack was absolutely seething. Who was she to treat him like that?

"Sit down kid, you don't need to cause a scene."

He huffed angrily but sat down, saying it was pride that kept him from storming away.

"Listen, I'm not a child. I know what I'm doing. I don't need some strung out, junkie telling me how to live my life, when you obviously can't do so yourself."

"You're right about one thing kid." Jack gave her an annoyed stare.

"I am a strung out junkie, but hear me out. You don't know what you're doing. I'm going to tell you a story and you're going to sit there and listen." Jack glared.

"Right?" She was staring at him again so he nodded to save face.

"Good. Might want to make yourself comfortable. It's kinda long."

"So there was once a lovely girl, she had everything she wanted in life. Wonderful parents, wonderful sister, even wonderful grandparents. The works. She was rich, well her family was anyway. She went to a private school, ya know the ones with uniforms and the name that made it all the better? Yeah, you know what I mean. One day she decided to be dangerous. Her friends and her skipped school and went downtown for the day. They went to the movies, a rated R one even though they were only sixteen, a smile and a little cleavage went a long way for the teen at the ticket counter. It was something gorey, ya know, fake blood spurting everywhere, heads rolling off bodies. I'm not sure the name now, but it was chessy. The girls squealed and hid behind their fingers. The lovely girl was no different. Once it was done they were hungry so they went to one of those old fashioned joints."

She glanced at Jack to make sure he was listening.

"The girls were horrified by the food on the menu, not one salad was listed but being dangerous was their plan so they ate burgers and fries and malts, strawberry ones, the whole nine yards and it was delicious. They savored every bite but when they were done a few of them left to the bathroom, the lovely girl among them, and threw it all back up. No one likes fat girls right? They left after one of the waitresses came in and heard them. They didn't care though. She was fat. Maybe she should try it sometime, that's what they giggled as they left, I'm sure she heard them. Anyway, they were walking down the street, adrenaline pumping when a red car pulled up next to them. There were a few guys in it and they were smiling nicely. They asked if any of the girls wanted a ride. The girls were nervous, weren't they dangerous enough already that day?"

She paused to take a hit and breathed it out slowly.

"Anyway, most of the girls thought that it was but two of them wanted more danger. The lovely girl and her best friend. They waved to their friends goodbye and got in the car. As the car drove away their stomachs twisted in excitement. Whoah, they just couldn't believe what they were doing. I mean, what would they're prefect parents say? It was thrilling for the both of them. There were three guys in the car and they introduced themselves. Chris, Mark and Andy. The lovely girl was enchanted as soon as Mark smiled at her. She giggled behind her tiny hands at every joke he said and her best friend seemed to like Chris. The guys asked them their ages and they lied, saying they were nineteen. They were nineteen as well. It was like they were destined to meet, at least that's what Mark said and the lovely girl agreed quickly. They asked the girls if they'd like to go to a party with them and they shared an excited glance."

Another pause and she finished the cigarette, tossing it into the snow beside her. Jack finished his but lit another.

"May I?" She asked.

He handed her one.

"Thanks."

He lit it and she inhaled, grimacing slightly. Jack didn't comment.

"So I'll skip the boring part and get straight to the party, okay?"

Jack just waited.

"Right. So the girls were excited. They had never been to a party with alcohol before, let alone boys. Their parents were just like that. When they pulled up it was dark outside. The lovely girl checked her phone, nine missed calls from her friends and parents but she ignored it. No one was going to put a damper on her high. No one. They went inside and people were already standing around drinking and listening to loud music. Some kind of rap but it was full of cussing. The girls weren't used to that, the radio didn't play it. They decided they liked it. The best friend was led away by Chris and she smiled at the lovely girl to show she was fine. Mark had gone to get her a drink so she waited where she stood. Someone complimented her skirt and she thanked her. She hadn't realised the girl was being sarcastic. When Mark came back she was relieved and took the drink from his hand happily. She finished it quickly and Mark had chuckled. He got her another and before she knew it she was drunk. She stumbled into a table and laughed, she saw her best friend making out with that Chris guy. She laughed again. Everything was just so fucking funny."

Her next breath came out ragged and her eyes were closed. Jack waited for her to go on.

"Everything." She stressed, Jack nodded.

"The lovely girl glanced at her phone out of habit and noticed the missed calls had almost doubled, seventeen and there were voice mails. She asked Mark if they could go somewhere quiet so she could listen to them. Mark led them upstairs and she pressed the voice mail button. Her parents sounded worried, scared even but she brushed it off as she laid down. There was nothing wrong with her, she felt amazing. Nothing could make this go away, she'd kill them. Mark just sat next to her and she wondered why he didn't look as happy as she felt, everyone should be as happy as she was. She pulled him down and one thing led to another. Mark took her virginity that night. When she woke up the next morning she had a splitting head ache and decided maybe drinking wasn't for her. She looked to her left and noticed that Mark wasn't their but her best friend was. She was still asleep and the lovely girl didn't want to wake her just yet. So she left her there and went down stairs."

Jack coughed so she stopped for a moment.

"You okay?" She looked concerned.

"Yeah."

"Good. So back to it- sorry it's so long, by the way."

"It's fine."

"Okay, right. So she went down stairs and saw Mark and Chris and Andy. They were seated around the kitchen table and they looked tired, falling asleep right over their cereal, and that's when she noticed the syringes. She thought she knew them better than to do heroin, okay so she didn't really know them at all, but she had never ever known anyone who did it. It startled her. She went and poked Mark and he smiled up at her, a lazy, attractive grin. Then he offered her a fix. At first she said no but after a little persuasion, very little, I'll add, she allowed him to tighten the band around her arm and fix her a hit. To her delight she didn't even cry out when he stuck her. It took a few seconds but when the drug did take affect she felt like she was flying. Her body was on cloud nine. It was wonderful. It was amazing. It was heavenly."

She cleared her throat as she got a faraway look in her eyes.

"Life after that had changed for her. Everything she did was to get her next fix. Her parents pretended not to notice how she changed. Even her best friend pretended. It was fine with her; she didn't hang out with them anymore anyway. They just wouldn't understand her. No one did, except Mark. He was there for her. Every step of the way. He was her savior and the drug was her God. Two years passed that way and when she turned eighteen she moved out. Her parents begged her to stay, told her they'd do anything to help her but she didn't want that. Not at all. She moved in with Mark and all was good, that is until she became pregnant. That's when her world came crashing down, she then realised she would need to stop using. And quickly. Problem was that she was too hooked. She just couldn't. The pains were terrible, she was itchy, she was cold, she was desperate. She shot up anyway and lost the baby."

For a moment it seemed as though she was going to cry but she didn't she just asked him for another cigarette and carried on.

"That was the end of heaven and the start of hell. She began prostitution for her God. That's all that mattered to her anymore and she was alone in the world."

"What happened to Mark?"

"He died. Over dose."

Jack waited for a while as she finished the cigarette. The cold was pressing now and he had a feeling the outside wasn't the only reason. Jack didn't know what to say so he asked the obvious.

"Are you that lovely girl?"

She stared at him for a while before sighing.

"No."

Jack was confused but before he could ask her any other question she stood up and brushed snow off her pants. She gave Jack a side glance and shook her head. She turned back towards the apartment but stopped. Her hand rested against the handle and she sighed heavily. Jack could hear it from his spot on the stairs. When she looked back at him, her eyes seemed determined.

"That's not me anymore."