Okay you are all officially freed from time out! I almost fell off my chair when I found out how many of you know where the 'submit review' button is! You should use it more often as I'm not keen on ransoming Harry and Draco's relationship just to feel the love from you guys!

Also sincere apologies to those who do actually review, you were never in time out but you did have to suffer along with the rest of my readers so I hope this makes up for it.

I didn't want to post this for another few days but dammit I couldn't help myself!

Enjoy!

Chapter 16

It took all of Harry's energy not to cry into his roast lamb as he poked at his dinner that night, he never once looked up to search for Draco's eyes at the Slytherin table, if he did that he would break and he wouldn't be able to hide it.

"He's not there," Hermione whispered in his ear.

"He's not?" Harry replied, finally allowing himself to look up to the Slytherins across the room. "He skipped dinner? He shouldn't do that, he needs to eat."

"He's eating about as much as you are," Hermione said, indicating to Harry's barely touched plate. "Let's get out of here, you look like you just found out Ron died and everyone is starting to stare."

Harry nodded weakly, knowing she was right; he wasn't eating, he looked like shit, everyone else was beginning to notice and he didn't know how to explain his current mood to his housemates, telling the truth would be hard enough let alone trying to make up a believable lie.

He was surprised at how easy it was to get away from Alice, she hadn't really said much all day since the game but he wasn't about to complain now when he really needed this silence from her. He didn't even say goodbye to her as he left the Great Hall with Hermione and Ron.

The trio arrived in the Gryffindor common room to find it empty, it was just after 8 o'clock and Harry knew people would start coming back up in about half an hour. He didn't want to see anyone when they did start to come up and so he decided to hide in his bed under the covers.

"I'm going up to bed," he told his best friends.

"Harry, I think we need to talk about this," Hermione told him.

"Talk about what? I'm pretty sure there's nothing to talk about as Draco and I are probably finished," Harry snapped. "Sorry Malfoy, I should probably get used to calling him that again!"

"Look," Hermione began. "I know Ron and I have had our fair share of doubts about Draco, but I don't want you making a big decision like ending things with him without being able to see the full picture. You know him better than we do and even if having him so close to you still makes us nervous we can see he makes you happy and if anyone deserves that you do."

Harry glanced over to Ron to catch his sky blue eyes for confirmation that he agreed with Hermione; the red haired boy nodded lightly at Harry without dropping his gaze.

"Harry, what happened yesterday with Malfoy? I saw the end of the fight but I don't know what it was about." Hermione asked him.

"It was about nothing, he was just angry with me about Alice," Harry said. "He's been like this since the start; I don't even know why he thought it was a good idea!"

"Did something happen right before he started teasing you?"

"We were just kissing, I've done it a thousand times its not a new thing and he knows I do it!" Harry huffed.

"Well, maybe he'd just had enough," Hermione pondered.

"No Man, there's more to it than that," Ron challenged Harry. "Look at your face! It was more than kissing, wasn't it?"

"Is that true?" Hermione asked him slightly hurt that he would lie to her.

"It wasn't anything!" Harry said, trying to defend himself, but he knew, if he was honest with himself, that it was definitely something. "Alice was sitting on my lap and we were kissing."

"And…" Ron prompted him.

"And she was sort of grinding into me," Harry admitted with a shameful blush.

"She was grinding into you? Outside in front of-?"

"Yes!" Harry snapped, interrupting Ron's surprised babble; it was making him feel guilty all over again. "She only did it once – or twice – but it wasn't much! She surprised me!"

"What did you do when she did that?" Hermione asked, knowing that wasn't the whole truth.

"I leaned back," Harry confessed.

Ron flushed red at these words and his mouth fell open slightly in shock.

Hermione frowned in confusion. "I don't get it," she stated.

Harry wasn't quite sure how to explain this to her. "I leaned back so she could have better access," he said slowly, his words forcing guilt to swallow his heart as he admitted it out loud.

"Oh God," Hermione breathed. "And Malfoy saw that?"

"Yes."

"Poor Malfoy," Hermione sighed.

Harry slumped as his best friend managed to make him feel worse than he ever thought he could. Harry let his mind wander to that morning and relive it over again mentally punishing himself for his reaction to Alice's wanton thrusts. But he also remembered Draco's words and his shoving and thought the blonde was out of line that day as well; he shouldn't have gone so far with his bullying.

"Uh, guys," Ron said, interrupting Harry's thoughts. "This conversation probably isn't one for the rest of Gryffindor to hear and they're all coming back from dinner."

Harry glanced up to the portrait hole to see his housemates starting to fill up the common room.

"Let's go," Hermione suggested.

They gathered themselves up and headed out of the Fat Lady's portrait to find another, more private place to talk. Hermione led the two boys to a dark, deserted classroom where they were able to chat freely.

"Can you imagine what it was like for Malfoy to see that, Harry?" Hermione asked him once they were settled back into their conversation.

Harry didn't answer straight away. Of course he could imagine what it felt like, when he thought of seeing Draco do that with someone else he wanted to punch something or smash something. But he still couldn't help feeling betrayed at how far Draco went with Alice, he should have taken his anger out on him not her, he was the one in the wrong.

"That still didn't give him the right to-" Harry started.

"I know!" Hermione said forcefully interrupting him. "I'm not saying he wasn't in the wrong! I'm just trying to help you see why he might have done what he did; it was a long time coming, he was going to snap eventually. I mean it's been going on for weeks."

"What has?" Harry asked confused.

"Malfoy's depression," Hermione replied surprised Harry didn't already know. "It's been getting worse over the last few weeks."

"Depression?" Harry breathed completely shocked. "Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"Yes," Hermione replied. "It's easy to see if you look hard enough Harry which makes me wonder when was the last time you really looked at him."

Ouch. That one hurt.

"I see him all the time," Harry said, trying to defend himself.

"Yes, but do you see him?" she asked. "Did something happen about a month ago? You started being more affectionate with Alice and, well, you stopped staring at Malfoy all goo-goo eyed like you used to."

"I did not!"

"You did, Mate," Ron said, backing up Hermione.

"Did something happen, Harry?" Hermione asked again gently.

"Maybe," Harry admitted begrudgingly, almost child-like.

"What was it?"

"He sort of put his fingers – he tried to make me – I don't want to talk about it." Harry said awkwardly, stumbling over his words as he tried to explain what happened that night nearly four weeks ago before eventually giving up. He didn't think it would help any telling Hermione and Ron anyway, besides if he didn't explain it right they might think Draco meant to hurt him which isn't true at all.

"Okay," Hermione said cautiously. "Well, that's okay, you don't have to. Whatever happened you've been pulling away from him since then, even Ron noticed and mentioned it to me like two weeks ago. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, well…" Ron said, not knowing how to finish he just let his words fall away.

They sat in silence for a while as their thoughts swirled around in their heads. Hermione was the first to break the stillness.

"I was wondering, do you have feelings for Alice maybe?" Hermione asked Harry tentatively.

The question stumped him and the more he thought about it, the more he realized it probably shouldn't stump him. Did he have feelings for Alice? No. Not like the ones he had for Draco anyway. But over the last few weeks he had started to enjoy kissing her, he had started to like the way she tasted, he liked the way she felt in his arms and his reaction to her rubbing up against him… well, that said it all, didn't it?

He tried to answer Hermione honestly but the words got stuck in his throat and wouldn't come out.

"More than you feel for Malfoy?" Hermione asked, letting Harry know she already knew his answer to the previous question.

This question Harry answered immediately without any hesitation. "No! No way! I love Draco!" he said almost shouting.

"Then why are you treating him like shit?" Ron asked bluntly.

"I don't know."

The three friends settled into another awkward silence as they all thought over the conversation they'd just had; no one thought it over more than Harry did.

"He's had to watch you with Alice for weeks," Hermione said finally to drive the point of the conversation home to Harry one last time. "You've been kissing her, cuddling her, flirting, feeding her from your plate at meals – it was so disgusting even I could barely stand to watch so imagine what Malfoy had to endure. And then after 3 weeks of suppressed anger and jealousy about it he has to watch Alice dry humping you while you lay back and enjoy it. So he snapped, wouldn't you have done the same thing?"

Harry sat for a few moments letting Hermione's words ring in his ears. "Oh God," he whispered softly as he finally defeated his pride. "I have to go. I have to – have to-" he said struggling not to panic.

"I know," Hermione said. "Just go to him."

Harry smiled gratefully at his friends and started towards the classroom door.

"Oh and Harry," Hermione called to him. "You two really need to start communicating properly, so this doesn't happen again," she advised lightly.

Harry just smiled.

As he left the room, he heard Ron whisper something to Hermione that he would think to himself many times over the coming months. "I hope we did the right thing."

Underneath his invisibility cloak Harry waited outside for a Slytherin to arrive and open the wall to the Slytherin common room for him; it was nearly 10 o'clock. He stood impatiently glancing down the dungeon corridors and after nearly 20 minutes he began to think no one but him was out sneaking around after curfew. His heart sank at the thought of having to wait until tomorrow to beg for Draco's forgiveness. Just as he was about to give up and head back to Gryffindor Tower he heard muffled laughter and scuffling feet and he turned to see two fourth year Slytherins coming towards him. The couple could barely keep their hands off each other as they kissed and fondled each other down the hall and into the Slytherin common room which Harry deftly followed them into.

He made his way swiftly to Draco's dorm room – remembering the way very well – without encountering anyone and he silently slipped into the dark room and tiptoed to Draco's bed. He slid back the curtains and the dim green light in the room fell upon Draco's sleeping form. Harry watched his love and wondered how best to wake him; privately and silently would be most ideal considering there were several other boys sleeping in here too. He sat on the edge of the bed and drew the curtains back around, removed his cloak and gently placed his hand over Draco's mouth to silence any surprised shouting when he woke him.

Draco's eyes sprang open at the touch of Harry's hand to his mouth and despite Harry's attempt at muffling Draco's shocked gasp one escaped anyway, but fortunately woke no one else in the room.

"Ha-eee?" Draco mumbled under Harry's hand.

The dark haired boy nodded before raising his wand to sound proof the curtains around the bed.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked once he was able to speak. Draco's heart was pounding wildly at the sight of his boyfriend – or was that former boyfriend? He guessed the purpose of this visit would determine that.

Draco smelled fantastic Harry noticed; he was fresh and clean smelling like he'd just gotten out of the shower. He probably had, Harry realized. Harry had to remind himself to stay in control, he had to stick to the apology he'd practiced in his head while waiting outside and only ravage the boy in front of him if he was allowed.

"I want to apologise," Harry explained.

"Now?" Draco breathed. "Here?"

"Yes, I couldn't wait another second," Harry told him. "I'm sorry I didn't meet you last night, I'm sorry I missed your surprise and about the fight and everything."

Draco didn't say anything; he just nodded to indicate that he'd heard him.

"And I'm sorry I told you I didn't need you, I didn't mean it," Harry continued. "I guess I was still upset about yesterday and that you didn't go to my game, not that I blame you for not going."

Draco still didn't respond and Harry desperately tried to fill the silence and fix things between him and Draco.

"I don't like her like that you know," Harry said, knowing as he spoke those words that they were true. He was allowing himself to feel his love for Draco full force again – something he hadn't even realized he'd been suppressing – and that love squashed any shadow of romantic feeling he may have had for Alice. "All the couple stuff with her is really annoying. I hate it. And that other thing," Harry said cringing at the memory of Alice grinding on him, "it was an accident. I didn't mean to-"

Harry saw Draco roll his eyes at his words and that small action stopped him mid-sentence.

"I shouldn't have hit you but, um, you know me, Hero Harry has protect everyone," Harry said after an uncomfortable pause, he sort of sung the last few words to mock himself and the silly 'saviour' reputation he had. "I guess I – I forgot about protecting you from seeing that – seeing me with her."

There was another pause in which Draco refused to speak.

"You shouldn't have had to see that," Harry finished as he realized he didn't know what else to say. "I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"Do you like kissing her?" Draco asked finally. "You look like you do."

"No!" Harry said which wasn't entirely true a few days ago, but today it was and that was all that mattered. "I only like kissing you. In fact, I love kissing you."

"And other stuff?" Draco asked softly with his eyes downcast.

Harry took a deep breath when he realized what Draco was asking; did you let it go further than kissing? Did you betray me?

"No, nothing!" Harry said, desperate to drive those thoughts from Draco's mind. Harry wanted to touch him, to taste him again and make him forget all those thoughts, but he didn't dare without Draco's permission. "There was no other stuff I promise, just yesterday and that sort of took me by surprise… it was a mistake, a stupid mistake. I'm an idiot," he pleaded, begging for forgiveness.

"I hate this secrecy," Draco sighed, slumping back on his pillow. "And I hate her. I want you to be mine. I want everyone to know you belong to me and not some stupid Gryffindor bitch who thinks she can just-"

"Hey!" Harry shouted to halt Draco's building rage. "I know I belong to you and you know and that's all that's important!" Harry shifted forward a bit to try and curb his need to touch Draco.

"I hate being with her, I hate touching her because it should be you," he continued. "I do it because I have to. This whole situation really sucks, but we have no choice; it's to keep you safe."

"To keep you safe!" Draco corrected him, sitting up again.

He was close enough to touch now and Harry couldn't help himself, he reached out slowly and carefully watched Draco's reaction, he didn't flinch, so Harry leaned forward and let his fingertips graze his boyfriend's jaw line. Draco shivered.

"This – you and me," Harry whispered as he let his hands cup Draco's face, "makes no difference to my safety or lack thereof. It's you I'm worried about, if they find out how much I care about you they would hurt you to get to me."

"I'm not important, it's you-" Draco started to object, but Harry was so outraged by his first few words he wouldn't let him continue.

"You're important to me!" Harry snapped, berating Draco for thinking otherwise. "Draco, if they take you, if they hurt you, I'm nothing…"

Harry's bright green eyes caught Draco's stormy grey ones and locked him into an intense gaze leaving both boys breathless and struggling to hold on to their emotions. Harry's fingers softly brushed Draco's high cheek bones and swept the edge of his blonde locks before following the curve of his jaw. Harry lovingly caressed the young man knowing this was something he wanted to do to him every day for the rest of his life.

"I love you," Harry whispered, the words falling from his mouth before he realized it. "I've always loved you and I should have told you months ago."

Harry watched in awe as Draco's eyelashes struggled to hold onto the tears forming in the corner of his eyes; they fell with love and tenderness as Harry gathered Draco into his arms and held him close.

"I love you," Harry whispered again as his breath brushed along Draco's ear.

Draco trembled in his arms and Harry pulled back from their hug to kiss the beautiful deity in his arms. Harry felt Draco's tears dampen his cheeks as they kissed tenderly with their tongues lapping at each other and their noses rubbing together sweetly.

"I love you Harry," Draco said when they stopped to catch their breath.

"Make love to me," Harry requested as he flushed with lust.

Draco smiled and began to undress his lover and then himself so that they could touch skin to skin and feel their desire scorch their flesh as they wrapped around each other. Draco reached for his wand and aimed it to slick up his entrance for Harry when the boy stopped him.

"No," Harry said gently. "I want you to make love to me."

"You?" Draco asked surprised. "But it's always me."

"And now it's my turn," Harry stated. "Please."

Draco nodded once and kissed Harry hard.

Harry woke early the next morning to sneak back to Gryffindor Tower unnoticed. He would have left hours before but he couldn't resist falling asleep in Draco's arms it just felt too wonderful not to. Outside the sun was kissing the horizon and Harry watched it through his bedroom window as he climbed into bed for another hour and a half before breakfast. Ignoring his aching bottom, he smiled because he wouldn't let anything taint his experience with Draco; it had been perfect.

Everything was perfect.

What was that? Did I just skip right over that sex scene? How mean of me! Ha ha! You dirty rotten perverts! Want a front row seat to Harry's deflowering do you?

Well shame on you! Lol! Not really! I was there and it was hot hot hot!! I don't blame you one bit for being put out about missing it. You should have gotten here earlier…

Oh well, next time maybe…

Also, you guys understood what happened yeah? I explained it right, didn't I? That Harry freaked after Draco got a bit insistent and sort of pulled away from him emotionally without really realizing it and distracted himself by focusing on Alice. Draco started on a downwards spiral as he felt Harry pulling away but didn't say anything to him about it coz he felt so guilty about trying to force Harry to bottom that he thought he was lucky to get whatever Harry would give him. And as for Harry having feelings for Alice, he sort of let himself get muddled up about what he was feeling for who since he wasn't just letting himself feel but rather manipulating his feelings out of fear. Alice was easier to be with, less complicated, and so it was with her he felt safest.

Does that make sense?

Reviews please lovers!