This one's freakishly long :) Sorry about the wait but I finally finished writing this and i can't figure out how to get it up so I guess I'll keep adding to it… Thanks to everyone that reviewed!
Chapter 9
"Strange is our situation here upon earth. Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to a divine purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know: That we are here for the sake of others...for the countless unknown souls with whose fate we are connected by a bond of sympathy. Many times a day, I realize how much my outer and inner life is built upon the labors of people, both living and dead, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received." Albert Einstein
When Sirius and Hermione left the book store, they were amazed to find it had started raining. Sheets of rain pounded on the stones of the street and dull thuds were the only sound as the drops hit the roofs of the stores. Figures had their hoods up over their heads and were sprinting into the nearest building. Hermione and Sirius were soaked the moment they stepped out onto the street. They huddled for a while in the store's doorway and Hermione watched a muscle twitch in Sirius' jaw while he remained silent. She began to shiver violently as the rain persisted, Sirius noticed this after a few moments and handed her his cloak. It was a nice gesture but now he was the one shivering violently. She wanted to say they should go back into the bookstore but, knowing Sirius, he would refuse in order to save face in front of his little brother.
Instead she watched him. His head hung and hair swayed in front of his eyes, dripping a steady stream of rain water. His arms were folded over his chest and his stance was tense, his back straight and feet wide. She wished she could move to the joke store across the street but the muscle in his jaw was still jumping. "Do you know him in the future?" His voice was flat and devoid of emotion and Hermione didn't need to ask who he was talking about.
"No." She answered honestly. His head jerked up in surprise and Hermione watched his eyes widen and drop his tense stance.
"So we're still fighting in the future?" His voice was now betraying a hint of sadness. Her chest became tight and she felt nauseous. She didn't have any siblings, but she'd watched the Weasleys, who fought bitterly but were a close knit family unit and she'd seen their response to Percy's betrayal. The future Sirius must have been jaded, he'd had years to cometo terms with the fact that his brother had joined Voldemort. As far as she knew, Regulus hadn't joined the Death Eaters until he graduated Hogwarts. But this younger Sirius had only recently left home, the pain of losing a brother must still be a fresh wound. "He'll never forgive me." Sirius said unexpectedly and Hermione jumped at the emotion in his voice. "I left him all alone in that house…" He trailed off and Hermione watched his face harden. He looked up at her and, seeing the surprise in her face, gave her an encouraging smile. Hermione didn't smile back.
His stubbornness and general idiocy reminded her too much of Ron and his refusal to even speak with Percy. Her parents sprung to her mind, what she'd had to give up for the greater good, and Hermione's jaw tightened. You needed family, no matter how much you fought and disagreed. She'd give anything to see Harry, Ron, her parents, even the Weasleys again. And here Sirius obviously wished to speak with Regulus and he wouldn't, it was maddening. "Well maybe, you should stop being such a stubborn git!" Her voice rose and Sirius was stunned by the force behind it. Who knew such a small person could yell so forcefully.
"Excuse me?" He hissed.
"It might be presumptuous of me but-"
"You're right, it is presumptuous." He interrupted her. Sirius crossed his arms and looked at Hermione down his nose, his deep set, grey eyes flashing dangerously. His demeanor was reminiscent of Draco Malfoy's haughty aristocratic attitude.
"But." Hermione emphasized. "I also know how this all turns out Sirius Black." She snorted. Hermione stalked over to him and with each word poked his hard chest. "You. Are. Too. Stubborn!" Sirius' eyes darkened and Hermione was reminded of the Sirius she really knew, the Sirius that had spent twelve years in Azkaban and lived off rats for months. The Sirius that had rashly ran to his death. Young Sirius hadn't been through those things yet, but he clearly had the strength to. Hermione dropped her hand and sighed. "I just mean Sirius, that if I had a brother, I wouldn't waste half my life hating him. I would go back in there and talk to him….If he was my brother."
"What are you not telling me?" He asked her hesitantly. The hard look in his grey eyes had gone and instead he looked young again, confused.
"You'll regret it, if you don't." Hermione nodded. In all honesty she had no idea if Sirius really did miss his younger brother in the future, he definitely thought Regulus was a fool for joining Voldemort, but there had to be some brotherly love left between them, didn't there? She hoped so because she couldn't bring herself to tell him that Regulus would die young and that once Sirius left Hogwarts he would never see his brother again.
Sirius glared down at Hermione. His shoulders were squared and on edge. "I won't. He's an idiot! He thinks Death Eaters and purebloods have got it right! That muggleborns are less than dirt and muggles the scum on the bottom of his boot! I hate them. I hate purebloods. I hate my family. I hate him!" At the last word he shook slightly.
Hermione bit her lip. He'd always been too hot tempered and rash.
Sirius had said that Regulus had been killed by Voldemort himself because he'd tried to leave. Maybe if he had the help of Sirius he would never join in the first place. Sirius was a hot head and a rash fool but he was a brave fool who really did know right from wrong. Sirius could help Regulus, she just knew it. And Hermione wasn't the type of person to not give advice, or an answer to a difficult question when she knew the answer. "Please Sirius. He's your brother and I know you love him!" She brushed rain water off her forehead and cheeks and glared at a very wet Sirius. "You can save him!" She sucked in a breath when she realized what she had said. His eyes widened at this but he didn't press for details. Instead they stood there in the rain, their clothes soaking and Sirius shaking.
Sirius didn't respond right away. Maybe he wasn't so stubborn, after all; if she'd yelled at Ron in a similar manner he would've refused to speak to her for a week. Sirius seemed the opposite, reflective, pondering what she'd suggested. "I'll think about it. But not today."
"Not exactly what I was hoping for, but I'll accept it." She smiled slightly and nervously held out her hand. He stared at her long pale fingers in bewilderment before she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the downpour, towards Hogwarts. He resisted at first but after a few steps he relented and allowed her to pull him along. Her hand was small, especially compared to his. The precipitation drenched her curls quickly so they ran down her back without so much as bouncing. Her fingers were intertwined with his, and she was reminded of Ron again. She wasn't sure what brought it on but her unrequited love this year hung over her head. She'd never been able to shake off the hurt she'd felt when Ron hadn't asked her to the Yule Ball and then this year, with Lavender… If he liked her back he had a funny way of showing it. But Sirius wasn't like that. She chanced a glance over her shoulder and Sirius gave her a small smile. No, Sirius seemed proud that he liked her, unlike Ron who'd always seemed embarrassed by his feelings for her. She assumed Sirius felt that way after he'd sung to her. Her cheeks burned at the memory. Seeing what it was like to have someone openly say that they liked her was refreshing. Maybe it wouldn't be so wrong if she explored it. She couldn't actually date Sirius, it'd be too weird, but if he wanted to give her flowers and just hold hands like this, she could live with it.
Sirius' breath hitched in his throat when she looked back smiling, her rain drenched hair falling in her eyes and her cheeks pink despite the cold. And he considered what she'd told him about regretting this fight with Regulus. It was true already, he did regret their separation, they hadn't spoken much since Sirius had been sorted into Gryffindor, and he missed his brother. Regulus had been a lifesaver in the noble house of Black. When they had been younger Sirius had been able to tell him his doubts about their upbringing and fears of their cousin Bellatrix. He'd assumed that their estrangement was temporary, and that other families with sons so close in age had the same problems and that they'd all eventually work themselves out. Now he realized that this had been foolhardy to believe such a thing. After all, the Black family was not like other families, his mother devoid of love but full of hatred, ignorance and prejudice, and his father absent and tolerant of his wife's severity. Not to mention the physical and verbal abuse that had finally pushed him out the door. He hadn't really thought about what might be happening to Regulus without Sirius there to take the brunt of their mother's temper. Without his protective older brother, Reg would suffer and resent his leaving. No, he couldn't hope to mend the rift between his brother and himself unless he took the initiative and approached his younger brother first. Hermione was right but he wondered sadly what she'd meant by Reg needing saving.
They sprinted back to Hogwarts lost in their thoughts and not speaking. Both were soaking wet by the time they reached the castle and would've received detention from Filch if half the school wasn't also saturating the stone floor.
The rain didn't let up for the entire week; it was like the rain was reflecting everyone's melancholy moods. Or maybe the moods were a reflection of the weather. In any case, every student in the castle was visibly drooping. Being locked up with the depressed population was driving Hermione up the wall and she cursed the rain. Even the rumors about Sirius' public spectacle were half hearted and Hermione was only slightly teased for the embarrassing display of affection. To make matters worse, the darkest moods in the bleak castle were Hermione's four friends, Lily, Sirius, James, and Remus, brooding about separate things.
During dinner on Tuesday, Hermione learned why Lily was upset when she saw her friend glance at the Slytherin table. Snape was sitting next to a few burly looking seventh years, his hair hanging around his face limply. At the sight of him Hermione noted the skin around Lily's mouth turn white. Hermione nudged her side gently and Lily looked away from her best friend. Reluctantly, Lily explained that Snape wasn't speaking with her and that it had something to do with that "toerag Potter". Her vicious statements about James made Hermione curious about what had happened when they'd left the bookstore. But she couldn't exactly ask without revealing she knew exactly why Snape was mad.
James had only heard her say Potter and he had looked up eagerly. "Yes Lily?" Sirius snorted behind his glass of pumpkin juice and Remus gave the handsome prankster a half-hearted, stern glance.
"Go away." Lily said angrily before slamming her glass down and standing. She left the Great Hall and Hermione noted Snape watching Lily's sudden departure. When she'd gone, Snape looked back to the Marauders and met Hermione's eyes. Hurriedly he went back to dinner and his harassed expression amused Hermione immensely. She'd never seen Snape look uncomfortable. She'd have to to tell Harry about this.
James was downcast for the rest of the week, as Lily didn't join their side of the table and put him down every chance she got. He'd been cheerful at first, especially when relating the scene (she'd witnessed herself ) to Hermione. But Lily had snapped at him several times and it had stomped out his previous lighthearted behavior. He'd been sure things would be different between them, seeing as she had been perfectly pleasant to him at Hogsmeade and he suspected the sudden change of heart had something to do with that slimy git Snivellus. He'd thought he'd done well, not hexing Snape into oblivion when he'd seen Snape touching Lily in the bookstore. He'd actually heard the entire conversation behind a bookcase and he'd been astounded at his own self control. Hermione had been right; Lily had been impressed by his maturity. But now she was going back to being, well…a cow. What the hell did she want from him anyway? What did he have to do to prove how much she meant to him?
Sirius met Hermione's eyes over the dinner table after Lily left and gave her a cheeky wink. She rolled her eyes but this just made him smile wider. Despite his shallow good mood Hermione had noticed he was quieter than usual and the smile he gave her didn't reach is eyes. She wondered at this and Hermione worried over his relationship with his brother. At least that's what she hoped his mood was over, and not their date. They had kept up a constant banter that came easy to her, like when she was with Harry. If she'd been with Ron she could just imagine the awkwardness they would've felt and spent the whole time in silence. Why was she comparing Sirius to Ron anyways? She'd thought it had been fun after all. Except for the singing, that had just been bloody ridiculous.
Unfortunately Remus had seen the interaction between Hermione and Sirius and his eyes narrowed at his delicious pork. Damn meat won't cut; he thought viciously and speared the stubborn piece with his fork. Peter sat in the middle of all the hostilities and spoke pleasantly about a new racing broom that was coming out over Christmas break. His hands moved animatedly over his untouched dinner plate and Sirius and James tried their best to respond at the appropriate times. Remus was as grumpy as if the full moon was the following day. He completely ignored Peter and didn't notice Hermione was doing the same. No one was really sure why he had such a bad attitude but his friends received the brunt of it. He had yelled at Doriana for neglecting a prefect duty and she was avoiding the Gryffindor table. But Hermione had caught her staring wistfully at the quiet Marauders (and Hermione) on several occasions. As much as she didn't like her, Hermione could've used someone to talk to, in a good mood, besides Peter.
This wasn't the only meal that passed unpleasantly for the rest of the week and Hermione's high from getting out of the castle wore off quickly. The grey walls and floor and classrooms and attitudes wore her down until she felt like screaming. But the rain continued and effectively drove everyone in the Hogwarts castle insane.
It wasn't until the weather began to lighten up and Lily smiled for the first time in a week that Hermione spoke with her about her date with Sirius.
"He did WHAT?"
"I know… it was completely embarrassing." Hermione was bemused at Lily's horrified expression. Her mouth in a perfect "o" and her hands frozen in mid-air, she'd been folding her clean robes. The clean one she'd been holding was in a wrinkled mass on the immaculate floor.
"I think it's sweet." Alice said cheerfully from behind her bed hangings.
"Thank you Alice." Hermione smiled while she picked up Lily's dropped robe. Alice stepped out and shook out her brown hair before stuffing it into her usual ponytail.
Lily ignored them. "I would've hexed him to next Tuesday! I mean singing? Is he on drugs?" Regretting telling Lily already, Hermione fixed her quilt on her bed.
"Well, his heart was in the right place…" Hermione glanced at the flowers, each pristine and not wilted but all pure white, the color changing charm had finally worn off. She defended the silly boy only to disagree with Lily, whose mad mood swings were giving Hermione whiplash. Kind of like Harry…
"Exactly! Frank would probably never do such a thing, he's not very romantic…But he's very sweet!" She needlessly defended her boyfriend. "But if he did…" She sighed wistfully and dazed out their window and Hermione snorted.
"Good Godric. If James tried anything like that I swear I'd never speak to him again!"
"What about Sev?" Alice teased and Lily turned red. But Hermione was unsure if it was from fury or mortification.
"Alice!"
Alice laughed calmly at Lily's stunned face and moved next to Hermione. "I think you should date Sirius!"
"WHAT?" Lily shouted across the room and Hermione couldn't help but agree.
"It was a onetime thing Alice…"
"Hermione's much too smart for any one of those idiots!" Hermione had a sinking suspicion Lily wasn't actually talking about Hermione, but herself. She'd heard that Lily resisted James until their seventh year but this was just ridiculous. How could they possibly be so in love to get married?
"Remus is quite intelligent! And do you honestly think he would hang out with them if they were truly as dumb as you say Lily? They're smart; they just don't try as hard as they should." Alice said reasonably. This was true, Hermione had noticed during her tutor sessions that they really were intelligent but seemed determined to be troublemakers and remain at Hogwarts and be Peter Pans in Neverland forever.
"James and his cronies," she said scathingly. "Are a band of fools!"
"There's a thin line between love and hate Lily Evans." Alice shook her head disapprovingly.
Lily's mouth hung open in shock. "You're not suggesting-"
"No. But you are very close dear! I mean… James isn't so bad. He stopped playing around with that snitch and carrying it everywhere didn't he? And he doesn't hex Severus every chance he gets… "
"But he does that stupid head toss thing. Messing up his hair because he thinks it's cool… he looks like an idiot!"
Hermione snorted. "James will love to hear about this."
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
Lily sighed and ran her shaking hand through her soft waves of hair. "I'm sorry. I don't know what it is but Potter just makes me feel so…angry and frustrated."
"It's true, normally she's a very pleasant person but bring up James and she grows claws." Alice confirmed and affectionately patted Lily's head.
Lily rolled her eyes but didn't deny it.
"You shouldn't let him affect you so much my dear." Alice spoke urgently and an uncomfortable Hermione looked out the window.
"You're right of course." Lily muttered.
Sun was finally peaking out from behind stone colored clouds. The Forbidden forest's trees dripped and Hermione admired the sparkling grass. She'd been thinking about going to see Hagrid, who she knew was still grounds keeper. She missed him and wondered what he'd think of a random student coming to visit. Out of no where the saw something white standing out against the green scenery. It was getting closer and she realized it was an owl but it didn't belong to the school. Hermione watched the snowy owl fly past the window and she held back a gasp. The only owl she'd seen so white had been Hedwig. Who had such a beautiful owl, she wondered. But now her thoughts went to Harry and she wondered how he was... of course he wasn't alive yet. Ugh, time travel was so confusing.
"But you did ditch me…" Confused by the sudden change in discussion Hermione's gaze went between the two witches. She must have zoned out of the conversation.
Lily rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. "Merlin Alice, no one likes Herbology but you! And you know it was either that or Potions! How am I supposed to become an Auror with Herbology?"
"I'm managing." Alice said hotly.
"You like Herbology?" Hermione clung to the subject change and watched Alice's face light up.
"Yes they're fascinating, aren't they? Plants I mean. Did you know there's a plant that will help you breathe underwater? How cool is that?" Hermione held back a laugh.
"Now you've got her started." Lily joked from her place on her bed. She seemed in a better mood and Hermione was impressed by the friendship Alice and Lily seemed to have. Her eyes were no longer cloudy in indecision and frustration. Her small tabby cat jumped up by her side and Hermione enviously watched the kitten purr as Lily absently tickled its forehead. Try something like that with Crookshanks and you'd lose a finger.
Alice didn't snap back, content that Lily was back to her usual self.
Hermione went to her bed and laid out over the made up quilt. Her thoughts still stuck on the white owl and Harry. What would he tell her if he was here? Maybe to relax… or maybe ask her what she'd learned about the Horcruxes. He'd want her to be spending her time learning what she could so when she got back…if she got back.
"Are you okay Hermione?" Lily asked gently.
Startled Hermione shook herself and looked over at Lily, whose green eyes were wide in concern and Hermione felt sick as they reminded her of Harry again. He would always give her that same look and ask if she was feeling okay when she'd go on a mental tangent.
"I'm fine Lily." She smiled but stood and grabbed her things, planning to go to the library to study and clear her head.
O
O
O
The one good thing from the melancholy and rain was that Sirius' wooing of Hermione had fallen on the wayside. She was finally able to concentrate in classes without his leg constantly bumping hers under the table. But when it came time for picking partners in Potions he was slow to sit next to her, and without Lily's friendship, Snape was partnered with Hermione. She eyed him as he dropped his bag in the seat next to her. His greasy black hair hanging down and obscuring most of his face except for is long, beaky nose.
"Do you mind?" She did. But it wasn't like he had any friends except for Lily and she was seated with Remus. And she'd made the resolution to not judge him based on his future decisions.
She conveniently forgot about her refusal to even speak to Peter.
She had a grudging respect for Snape, even though he had killed Dumbledore and by all rights was kind of the reason she was stuck in 1976, he had also been her professor and she was unable to deny his brilliance that matched her own. He was (or would become) a powerful wizard. Not to mention she was curious about the connection between Lily and Snape.
"No, of course not."
Slughorn flicked his wand at the board which revealed a recipe for a fairly simple potion. She heard Severus sigh next to her and she tried to not smile too much. It was clear to most everyone in the class that Snape was bored with the curriculum. Slughorn shuffled to their table and leaned heavily on the edge. He rapped on the wood with his knuckles and Hermione and Snape looked up at him expectantly. "You two are far enough ahead. I think while everyone's doing their Pleasant Dreams potion, why don't you try the harder sleep potion, Draught of Living Death. It's on page, ten. " Despite Hermione's efforts, her brilliance had shone through and nearly every Professor was quite impressed with her essays and work ethic. This had kind of annoyed her considering when she did try everyone seemed to find her annoying and now that she didn't really care, they were all impressed. Typical. Slughorn winked at Hermione then shuffled over to James whose potion was already smoking odiously.
Hermione groaned at the familiar potion and glanced at Snape. He avoided her gaze and pulled his potion's book closer to himself, his nose almost pressed against the pages. She wondered how Snape and Lily had met; Alice had mentioned it was before Hogwarts. The scene in the book store had been nagging at her for the past couple of days. The look that had flickered across Snape's face as Lily moved towards James had been… strange. It was a cross between rage and betrayal and it was unlike any expression she'd seen him use before. Usually his trademark sneer was plastered permanently on his face, but this younger Snape must not have had as much control as Professor Snape.
Mostly they worked in silence, unless (as annoyingly as possible) Snape would direct her to the supply closet. She could see why he drove the Marauders crazy and they teased him so. She could not see, however, why Lily was so distraught they weren't friends. He must only be nice to her.
She noticed he strayed from the text fairly often but she was nervous about trying to admonish him. Snape had been the one to teach her all he knew about potions and she felt foolish correcting him. But his methods produced good results, better results actually.
There was one point though, when it came time in the potion where the book said to cut the sopophorous bean. Snape attempted this several times before Hermione sighed. Her trepidation, similar to when she'd given that advice to Sirius, returned and she glared at Snape's knife. If Snape didn't know about the crushing of the bean then it would never get in the Half Blood Prince's notes and Harry would never win that Felix Felices. She would actually… But Harry did need the Felix Felices more than she did; stupid conscious. "Try crushing it… with the blade. Juice will come out better." Snape stared at her for a long moment. But to her surprise he tried it and thanked her before adding this to his notes.
You're welcome Harry. She thought bitterly.
A twitchy first year entered the classroom and stared wide eyed at the extremely adult looking sixth years. Slughorn made his way over to the boy and lightly patted his shoulder." Are you lost?"
"N-n-no." The little boy squeaked and wordlessly handed Slughorn a square envelope.
Hermione was surprised to hear Snape snort next to her. Professor Snape was too dignified to 'snort'. But this sixteen year old boy was not an adult, she chastised herself, she needed to remove Severus Snape from her mental pedestal. "Poor thing." She muttered and Snape looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"He's just a first year." He said haughtily as he stirred their potion with no hesitation.
"Yes well... I remember being that small. People constantly picking on you, when you're older you forget how it felt at that age."
Snape didn't answer but continued to stir. He got picked on no matter what size he was.
"Hermione! A word?" Slughorn called from where the first year had been moments before but had apparently left. "That boy brought this for you." He handed over a square envelope with her name across the front in loopy script.
Meanwhile Snape was finishing the potion, thinking of his pretty Gryffindor partner. Hermione was a perplexing girl, she'd been civil yet distant throughout the class and he felt he might have been needlessly rude, mostly because he'd figured she must be a twit to be going out with some wanker like Sirius. But she'd been polite in response and had taken his orders in stride. Not to mention she'd actually given him good advice about the potion, which meant she was smart. Normal Gryffindors didn't take well to being bossed around, in his experience, but she'd been compliant, even willing to learn something from him. She held him in respect; he might as well be respectful in turn, he reasoned.
She returned and he watched her stuff a letter down into bag. The loopy script of Headmaster Dumbledore was discernable before the heavy parchment disappeared. He was not a rude Gryffindor though, so he didn't ask what it was about, instead he finished their potion and conjured a flask. "You surprising, did well today."
She seemed shocked at the backhanded compliment and stared at him unblinking and he wondered vaguely what Potter and Black had said about him before shoving the thought away. He filled the bottle with the pale lilac potion and stoppered the flask before handing it to her unceremoniously. "Thanks." She muttered as she took the fragile flask.
"Lily speaks very highly of you." He nodded in approval, it was another reason he'd decided to be friendly to the Gryffindor. Lily had mentioned a new student who'd come under strange circumstances but was quite brilliant and kind, even if she was friends with Potter and Black.
On more familiar ground than Snape complimenting her, Hermione smiled. "Yes, Lily's been very sweet. A little sad lately.." Hermione trailed off and bit her lip, wondering if she should tell Snape that Lily was sad without him. Probably not, but it was too late.
His smirk was firmly in place. "Can't imagine why." He sniffed and finished putting away their supplies along with the rest of the class. "Goodbye Granger." He said cordially and Hermione stared after him in shock.
O
O
O
"You did WHAT?"
Sirius chuckled at the expression on James face. "She seemed to like it." Remus looked equally if not more shell shocked than James at this declaration.
"Are you out of your bloody mind?" James hissed his eyebrows drawn together in complete disbelief. "Can you imagine what Lily would do to me if I pulled something like that? You're lucky Hermione didn't strangle you."
"Merlin, you two need to chill." Sirius chucked a dirty robe in his hamper and scoured the floor for anymore of his. Why on earth they all had to wear the same boring black robes was beyond him. It made laundry day even more torturous than necessary.
"Quit bugging her! You look like an arse." James followed Sirius' tail closely. His glasses slipping down his nose and his hair seemed to be standing on end in agitation.
Sirius snorted. "Do you realize how insane that sounds Prongs? How's mooning after Lily any different?"
Peter laughed from his bed and turned the page in his transfiguration book. It was the first time he'd opened it all term, if his last test with a giant red "T" at the top was any indication.
Sirius pointed to the still chuckling boy. "See. Even Peter thinks you're getting a bit pathetic mate. Which is saying something. No offence Wormy."
"None taken."
Remus was knocked out of his silence by Peter's words. "Bloody hell. You're a nutter Paddy. A bloody nutter."
"You know Moony, I don't really want to hear that from you. I mean you've got Doriana here, wrapped around your furry little finger. And you won't give her the bloody time of day. Hypocrisy I tell you. Pure hypocrisy."
Moony growled but had nothing to respond with, Padfoot spoke the truth. Why didn't he just give Doriana a chance? Although, the Hogsmeade trip hadn't been very promising. "I don't like her alright. I tried, I really did. But I just… I just can't." His friends met his confession with embarrassed silence. "I don't deserve someone anyway. Not with my…condition. It wouldn't be fair to the girl." Remus dropped his head and gently rubbed his prefects badge. He wished he could chuck it out the window and let it roll across the grounds.
"Hey now." James approached Remus, he put his hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. "Don't say that. Any girl would be lucky to have you." Remus cleared his throat but moisture burned the back of his eyes. He would not cry though. He refused to. He rubbed his nose in agitation.
"Exactly." It seemed the fight was stalled; Sirius also came to Remus' side and hit his back, the boy version of a hug. "You're a much better bloke than us three put together! If there's no hope for you than there's no hope for us." Sirius was smirking but his eyes displayed concern for his werewolf friend. Sirius hadn't meant to push him.
Remus snorted as Peter also joined the group and patted his other shoulder. "We'll always be here for you mate."
Remus was touched. Warmth filled his chest and he took a deep breath. When he'd come to Hogwarts he'd never dreamed anyone would talk to him, let alone find himself surrounded by friends like James, Sirius and Peter. Even though secretly he believed he didn't deserve it.
"Alright. I'm going to meet Hermione." Sirius patted Remus' arm again then ducked around James, whose face reddened.
"Sirius! You just ruined a heart wrenching moment!"
Peter snorted and Remus dropped his head. But a small smile tugged at his lips as he stood. A nice moment ruined…again.
But honestly…he wouldn't have it any other way.
"But we're studying in the library." Sirius growled.
There was silence for a moment before James smirked. "Really? Studying? Then I guess you won't mind if we come too." He grabbed his unopened book bag and adjusted his robe.
"Ah geez, seriously?"
"Yes. Let's go."
Everyone followed suit and Sirius muttered furiously.
They reached the library together and ignored Madam Pince when she glared them down. She wasn't exactly their biggest fan. "Alright you wankers. Hermione is going to be furious . So stay quiet for Merlin's sake."
"Why would she be mad?"
"Because Wormy, she thinks we're a bunch of morons who do nothing but goof off, and she likes quiet when she's studying. And you lot weren't invited." He finished bitingly.
Wormtail nodded while James stared at Sirius in disbelief.
What the bloody hell was wrong with him?
O
O
O
"Why hello… Hermione is it?"
"Yes. Hello Frank." Hermione continued to write out her charm's essay. Her irritation had stemmed from the fact that Sirius had decided to bring along his friends to their tutoring session for some unknown reason. At least they'd attempted to be quiet but when James started talking about the quidditch match that wasn't for another two weeks the Marauders had gotten into a row. Sirius had stood and knocked over Hermione's ink bottle and she'd practically thrown them bodily from the library. "Tergeo." She waved her wand over the essay and watched the ink slowly disappear. But rereading it she noticed she'd made a few major mistakes, her anger at him moved to herself.
"Mind if I sit with you?" Frank pulled out the chair across from her.
Swallowing her annoyance Hermione dipped her quill in her ink. "Sure that's fine."
"Everywhere else is too loud. You'd think they'd set aside a room for students studying NEWTs"
Hermione stopped in the middle of her sentence. "NEWTs?" Her chest ached for what she would maybe never have. She was supposed to be a seventh year and studying for NEWTs and worrying over students being too loud.
"Yes. I'm a seventh year." Frank said absently and modestly. Frank was nothing like his son Neville who wasn't particularly studious, or as handsome. He was Head Boy and top of his class, he had anpretty girlfriend and was quite popular. Hermione's heart went out to Neville, she'd heard him talk about his Gran, and with a son like Frank Longbottom, Hermione could see why she had such high expectations. "My mum will kill me if I don't get at least 'Outstandings' on six, even if I only need five." He shrugged. No wonder Alice complained about his study habits.
"She sounds demanding."
"This environment is stressing me out more than she is though." He rolled his eyes at a second year sprinting past them.
She laughed. "Don't these people know what a library is supposed to be used for?"
He smiled at her clear annoyance. "It'll be hard to get enough N.E.W.T.S. to become an Auror but Alice thinks I can do it, and there's no arguing with Alice." He joked cheerfully. Then she realized what he had said, he wanted to be an auror.
Something was nagging the back of her mind and she rubbed her temples as a sudden headache began pounding across her brow. There was something about Frank Longbottom being an Auror that bothered her. A flash of St. Mungo's came into her head but it disappeared as quickly as it'd come and she couldn't place why a chance meeting with Neville at St. Mungo's reminded her of Frank being an Auror. It was the feeling that another memory had slipped away.
"Right. Right." Hermione muttered before returning to her essay. She stunned herself with how calm she sounded, the headache persisted and she growled in annoyance. In the next line she found another mistake and with probably more force than necessary, she scratched it out.
Across the library, James, Remus, Sirius and Peter watched this exchange. Actually, Sirius and Remus watched the exchange while James read his Charms textbook and Peter studied his DADA book.
"What do you think they're talking about?" Sirius leaned closer to James and hissed.
"Merlin Paddy shut up! What did I tell you about looking like an arse?" James growled.
"Dammit Prongs how do you stand it?"
James looked slightly annoyed now. "Stand what?"
"Lily not talking to you. Hermione's driving me mad."
Peter and Remus eyes met and they tried to suppress their laughter. "You know. I'm pretty hungry." Remus threw his books in his bag and raised his eyebrows at Peter. "You comin' Wormy?"
"Yup." Peter jumped up and they left the library.
"Sirius, why are you acting like this? You're obsessing."
Sirius played with his quill, running the tip over his palm. "I don't know." He said after a moment.
"Well…Why do you like her?"
"I don't know."
"You're insufferable."
"No." Madam Pince looked over at them and Sirius lowered his voice. He couldn't bring himself to look if Hermione was staring at them as well. "She's kind and honest and Merlin does she smell good. Like strawberries. It's amazing!"
"Wait…what?" James froze. Hermione smelled like strawberries? He didn't exactly recall that from their… well, for lack of a more delicate word, close encounter. The memory of the kiss brought a slight heat to his cheeks and his mouth became dry. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to kiss Hermione, not that she'd protested, (weren't girls supposed to be shy about that sort of thing? He'd have to ask Sirius.) He really shouldn't have suggested it.
But for a moment her hard set jaw line and embarrassed expression had reminded him of an exasperated Lily. Which he could not resist. It hadn't been unpleasant but the only thing he could think about is if Lily's lips were as soft. He'd been slightly relieved when she'd pulled away and asked to never speak of that lapse in judgment again. So why was he thinking of running his hands through soft red hair instead of thick chocolaty waves. Annoyance at his stupid boy hormones and Sirius' idiocy peaked.
Sirius sighed. "Am I mental?"
James snorted. "What have I been telling you all this time?" They sat in silence for a moment. "You haven't known her that long…"
"Yes but, she's special. Different." Sirius' thoughts went to their fight in the rain. Hermione biting her lip and a raindrop sliding down her cheek and falling from her chin.
"Well what are you waiting for? Go over there and apologize to her."
Sirius chuckled and hit James shoulder. "Maybe later. She's probably still mad about the ink… What about you James? How are you and Lily?"
"Is this a counseling session Padfoot?"
"You're my best friend Prongs. I'm here for you and you're there for me. So what can I do for you?" There was an unspoken inflection in Sirius' voice that suggested he was thinking of how he was now living in James' home, after running away.
James looked like he wasn't going to answer, but then he ran his fingers through his messy raven hair. The way Sirius said "best friend" reminded him of what he'd heard between Snape and Lily. "Snape. He has some kind of hold on Lily… besides being friends. I think he loves her Paddy."
Sirius sat in stunned silence before his incredulity couldn't be held in. He shouted so half the library turned to look at their table. "What? That slimy git! In love with someone like—"
"Shhhh!" Madam Pince ran to them and smacked the back of Sirius' head.
"Ow! Merlin!" He shouted louder and James tried his best not to laugh as Madam Pince made Sirius swear to never enter her library again.
James looked over at Hermione who was giggling uncontrollably and he smiled. Hermione was everything Sirius had said, and more.
He also noticed Frank Longbottom had moved, probably left because Sirius was yelling so loudly.
Sirius cursed as the stern librarian walked away and rubbed the back of his head. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hermione shake her head and return to her essay but she was still smiling and he sighed.
"Let's head out." Sirius stood and James followed. "Tell me more about Snape. How do you know this?"
"Well in Hogsmeade-" James began to explain the scene in the book store as they headed for the Great Hall.
When they arrived however, they found their usually crowded space only filled with Remus and Peter.
"Oi! Where's everybody? We don't want to just sit with you lot!"
James chuckled and Remus snorted. "Hermione's still in the library and Lily would never sit with just us…"
"What's that supposed to mean then?" James huffed.
"It means you're annoying Prongs." Peter said between bites of roast beef while Remus and Sirius burst into hearty guffaws.
"I am not annoying!" His friends continued to laugh. "You'll see! Lily and I will be together soon enough! Even Hermione agrees!"
"Hermione also calls you Harry." Peter pointed out.
"Oi! What's that mean then?" Sirius yelped.
"Nothing nothing!" Peter corrected .
James glared at the lot of them. "I'll show you!" Then he spun and ran out of the Great Hall.
"Where's he off to then?... Nuttier and nuttier every day." Sirius chortled at Peter's joke.
For a while they laughed at James expense and Sirius found a plate across from Remus. He took a sip from his pumpkin juice and glanced over at Remus and Peter. He was glad Remus was in a better mood today, he'd been dark and gloomy since Hogsmeade. But now his face with brighter and his smile was wide. His blue eyes sparkled as he laughed at Peter's impression of James face.
Suddenly Remus jumped up. "Merlin's sagging pants! I left my book bag in that damn library!"
O
O
O
Lily watched the dingy water swirl down the drain. The pink tiles wouldn't have been her first choice but the color was soothing to her frazzled steady drumming of water on her back was hypnotizing and her dripping hair hid her frustrated tears. She was furious with Snape, he was so stubborn.
Her own stubbornness and refusal to speak with him for months after he'd called her a mudblood was completely forgotten.
She closed her eyes and tried to think what exactly what had possessed her to go with James. It had surprised how easy it had been. It was like she'd been under the Imperius curse as she'd backed away from her best friend and closer to her enemy. But Potter wasn't the type to perform Unforgiveables… No, she'd gone to him of her own free will. Her legs moving across the book store of their own volition. Until she'd seen the look on Sev's face.
Her stomach wrenched and she bent over as pain hit her chest. She was a horrible person. So what if Potter's higher level of maturity over the last few weeks hadn't been lost on her and under the troublemaker Potter she was annoyed to admit there was also, hidden deep inside him, a sweet James. But did a few moments of geniality and friendliness make up for a lifetime of irresponsibility and infantile behavior?
Hermione's words about boys eventually growing up filtered into her brain and in annoyance Lily shut off the shower and stepped out. Was she truly so inconsistent? She'd never admit it to anyone, let alone her best friend, but she'd had a small crush on Sev last year. Their years of friendship growing into something...more. But then he'd gone and ruined it and she could never see him the same.
But that was no excuse for her years of love and companionship falling by the wayside for that toerag...Was it?
Livid with her foolishness, Lily brushed the snarls out of her dark red hair with a ferocity that was pointless. She dried the soft waves of red with a flick of her wand and headed out into the dorm room with a towel wrapped around her. Steam was still wafting off her skull as she pulled a clean robe over her head. What was she thinking? Yes, she loved Sev, their friendship had started out mostly out of pity. But over the years, she'd seen that he was sometimes callous and cold but usually, when no one else was around, he was engaging and loyal. He'd seen her at her worst and she'd helped him was his father had become violent, when his mother became depressed and sick from suppressing her magic. They'd been through so much together. Sure her bitch sister scoffed at his Spinner's End residence, but he was smart and, best of all, he knew who she truly was. It was hard to not love someone who'd been her constant companion since she was ten… But she wasn't in love with him.
At this fucking annoying cliché Lily growled and went back to the bathroom to fix her blotchy skin. Her cheeks where pink from the heat and steam and her emerald eyes stared back from the mirror. Lily sighed. He wasn't a good person, hanging around Slytherins that beat on firsties and boasted of their blood status. And no matter how many times he apologized for calling her that disgusting word, deep down she wondered if that was how he really thought of her. But James… he had stood up for her. Like an arse, but still… Then the date…No! It had not been a date, it was only a couple- no friends- no, not even friends…acquaintances walking through Hogsmeade together and just happening to have a great time…
Annoyed at the sudden direction her thoughts had taken Lily began applying makeup the muggle way. Slow and painful. She hadn't put on much when a fourth year with brown wavy hair and large blue eyes entered the steamy bathroom.
"Lily? James is looking for you."
"How nice for him." Her mood darkened even further. Dammit all to hell. Why did he have to be so damn persistent?
"He asked me to come get you. He said it was urgent."
"Is someone hurt?"
"I-I don't think so…"
"Doesn't sound very urgent then." There was silence for a while then Lily sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm being rude. Tell him I'll come down in a second."
"Okay." The brunette looked a little too happy to have a reason to talk to the handsome Marauder again as she shut the bathroom door.
Did I just think he was handsome? Lily's shocked face stared back at her from the misty mirror.
O
O
O
Still in the library Hermione remembered the letter sitting in her Potion's book untouched. Slughorn hadn't said it was urgent and she didn't think it was prudent to read it in front of Snape, whose cordiality had unhinged her. Six years of solid dislike from the man made his moment of peace more precious and she doubted she'd forget it. Telling Ron and Harry was out of the question however, they'd wonder why she hadn't cursed Snape for killing Dumbledore. A crime he had yet to commit, she might add. It was strange how one moment had changed her opinion of Snape so forcefully.
Hermione flipped Dumbledore's letter over and over and admired his clean penmanship and phoenix seal. After all the letters notes Harry had received from him last year you would think he'd pointed them out but he probably hadn't even noticed. But then it came time to actually find out why her Headmaster had written to her.
Dear Ms Granger,
Sorry to start off this letter on such a morbid note but some unfortunate news has come to light. I will need to see you in person to explain the details. So please come to my office as soon as you can, either tonight after eight or any time tomorrow. I like Licorice Snaps.
Professor Dumbledore
She frowned at the bad news but folded the letter up neatly and stuffed it into her Transfiguration textbook. She wondered what he would have to tell her but figured she needed to see him as well. Deciding to see him tonight Hermione brought her Charms book back to her so she could go over the weather changing spells again.
Remus noticed Hermione across the library as he picked up his abandoned school bag. Her curly waves of hair fell in her face and reminded him of melting chocolate. Her hand moved so fast over the parchment in front of her he wondered how she could possibly be human. Without conscious thought he crossed the library and stopped in front of her still form.
"Alright there?"
Hermione inwardly groaned as she set down her quill. Why did the library have to be this era's hangout spot? How did these 70's students get any of their homework done with half the school gallivanting around the library? In the 90's, no one ever went in the library except for her. "Hey Remus."
Remus sat without an invitation and pulled out his books in silence.
"Aren't you hungry?"
"Not really." He answered.
"Oh."
Wow Hermione, intelligent. She chastised herself mentally.
Remus didn't honor this with a response and they sat in silence for a long time. Then he shifted uncomfortably. "So… you and Sirius, huh?" He smiled encouragingly and warmed up even more when Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I'd prefer to remain friends. I like Sirius but I need to focus on keeping the future as unchanged as possible."
Remus frowned again. She liked Sirius? "What could go wrong?'
"Everything!" Hermione sighed and smacked her book shut. She blushed when Madam Pince glared at her from across the library.
He wasn't sure what was making him pursue this. "Well don't you think you're leading him on?"
"Oh no! I thought he understood! He said it was just that one time… Did I do something wrong?" She spoke rapidly and Remus mentally kicked himself when he saw her horrified expression.
"No I don't think so." Remus tried to placate the panicking girl. He liked that Hermione found it easy to talk to him and he wondered what their relationship was in the future. He didn't think a teacher and student would talk as openly as she did with him. "Are we friends in the future?"
She was still thinking about the problems she now had with Sirius so she answered him absently. "Yes I like to think so. You're very nice Remus! I had the biggest crush on you when you were our teacher." Hermione choked when she realized too late what she'd just said. Oh Godric. No one knew about that, not even her best friend Harry. Stupid, stupid headache. She palmed her forehead.
Remus tried to remain calm but a smirk found a way to his lips. "You had a crush on me did you?" he wanted to laugh when he realized how much he sounded like Sirius.
"Don't think too much of it! Most of the girls did!" She tried to redeem herself. "You were dangerous and mysterious." She teased, trying to take the focus off herself, but ruining it by blushing furiously. She forced a nervous laugh and tried to go back to her essay.
Remus laughed heartily to show her he didn't think this news surprising but inside he was reeling. "Good to know."
There was awkward silence for a while but Remus went back to his DADA book.
Hermione sighed a brushed the hair out off her face. She wanted to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment.
She chanced a glance up at him and noticed a frown line forming on his forehead. His fingers clenched around his textbook, turning his knuckles white. Was something bothering him? His stress burned her chest and she had to look away. She'd seen too much of the sad Remus and now seeing how happy he was in the past, she wished desperately that there was something she could do for him. Even when he was with Tonks he didn't look as happy as he did surrounded by Sirius, James and (sadly) Peter. Thoughts of her young professor's hard path ahead made Hermione miserable. There was so much she should tell him, like to never give up on Sirius even if all evidence pointed to the fact that he was a murderer and betrayer, or that Peter was the worst kind of rat, or that he really would find happiness with a woman who loved him. She chose to ignore Remus' deep reluctance to actually be with Tonks and assumed that everything would be alright once she returned.
But her insecurities were also coming to settle in the forefront of her brain, they were, after all, why she was so scared to try and change the future. Sure she'd been determined to save Dumbledore in her bedroom but this was something else entirely, now she was contemplating changing everything… She was so unsure if she could actually complete that daunting task. Especially alone. Could she tell Dumbledore and have him help her? Awful things happened to wizards that messed with time. Could she really just tell people outright what was going to happen or should she give hints and advice like she'd done with Snape…
Remembering where she still was, Hermione came out of her musings and looked up at Remus. His blue eyes studied his DADA book and she noticed his jaw was set in a hard line. He was angry? Maybe frustrated. Hermione studied his intense face and her gaze fell on the scar across his eyebrow. He didn't have it in the future and she wondered vaguely how he'd gotten it. Not from another werewolf for sure or it would never heal completely, but then why didn't he just get rid of it? "That scar…" She blushed when she realized she'd spoken out loud but Remus seemed unconcerned.
"Handsome isn't it?" He said sarcastically. He gave her a joking smile and Hermione laughed.
"Very debonair. But you don't have it in the future…"
"I don't?" Remus seemed genuinely surprised and pulled his chair closer to the table. Maybe it was from another werewolf. But then how did he heal it? "Strange…"
"What's it from?" She was taken aback by her boldness but she was used to asking Professor Lupin questions. He had been (would be) her professor after all.
Remus touched it lightly. He looked around to make sure no one was listening then pulled himself closer to her. "The first time we all spent the full moon together, Sirius, James, and Peter, I mean. I was scared I would surely kill them all. I'd been begging them not to become animagus for a year before they finally accomplished it… But honestly, I really did hope they would succeed and make the full moons easier for me. It was very selfish but they insisted they wanted it too." He trailed off and Hermione watched him absently rub the scar. She was reminded of Harry with a jolt and she looked away from him as moisture pooled in her eyes. She swallowed but Remus was lost in his musings. "I attacked Sirius, because he was a dog I think. Animal instinct or whatever. Maybe I thought he was a threat or something but he fought back. We were lucky we didn't kill each other." Hermione gasped.
"How did you explain the injuries?"
"Said he fell off his broom. But Dumbledore was pretty suspicious of us for a while. Anyways, Sirius gave me this, almost took out my eye." Hermione's eyes went back to the scar. "I kept it, because even after that, they stayed my friends." His eyes filled with tears and Hermione gulped, it had always killed her how much Remus beat himself up about his condition. "Reminds me that I'm a lucky bastard to have anyone love me at all."
Hermione choked and rubbed the tiredness from her eyes. She pulled her chair closer to him and he stilled. Her fingers gently traced the scar and Remus held his breath. His eyes were closed and he relished the warmth of her fingers and the radiating sparks that traveled down to his toes from her touch. It was like the potions class when their fingers had barely touched but stronger since it was longer than a split second. "Of course they'd stay your friends. This condition is not your fault Remus and you need to understand that there will always be people who love you and don't want you to beat yourself up about it." Remus blushed heavily when she mentioned 'love' but Hermione didn't notice. When she'd spoken her breath had also fallen lightly across his cheek and he smelled mint.
Inside Hermione raged a silent battle with herself. Remus must have healed the scar after Sirius supposedly betrayed James, the hurt and betrayal he must have felt, for twelve years Remus had been alone and Hermione again felt guilt build in the pit of her stomach. She had the power to change this. To save Remus from heartbreak, Sirius from Azkaban and the separation from his godson, James and Lily from being killed and Harry from being an orphan and to stop Peter once and for all. Harry would do it. Harry would have the courage to kill Peter, and stop the tragedy that was unfolding in front of her eyes, if he was in her shoes. But the thought of killing anyone abhorred her, even someone as vial and loathsome as Peter Pettigrew.
She needed to say something to make him see how important he was to Harry and herself. "Remus, you're more than this disease, you're stronger than that. I just wish you could see what I see. I don't know what Harry, Ron and I would have done without you."
He opened his eyes in shock at her words and studied her flushed cheeks and watery eyes. He couldn't believe it, but she looked like she really meant it. This brilliant and beautiful witch, looked up to him? His inner wolf howled and he struggled to remain in control. He tensed and his senses heightened like they did when he was angry or it was close to the full moon. Remus felt the strong urge to close the gap between them and kiss her until she was breathless. He could imagine her soft lips parting and her hair soft under his hands. Sirius be damned.
Hermione must have seen something change in his eyes because she moved away from him before he could lose all self control and touch those soft lips with his own. She stood and began throwing books in her bag in haste.
She was in a hurry to get away from him he thought bitterly.
"I'm going to dinner. Are you coming?"
Remus rejected the invitation and also stood. Slowly he put his things in his bag and when he looked up Hermione was gone. He headed to the common room. Never again would he go looking for a chance to be with Hermione alone again. He might just act on his instincts, and he didn't stand a chance against Sirius Black in that department…
On the other hand, Hermione had no idea of Remus' plight. After she had confessed to him that he was an amazing wizard (she hadn't noticed the impact her words had made on him). She'd seen the change in his eyes go from surprise to…something else and she'd come to the conclusion that Remus would never have to doubt his friends again. She didn't think she could actually hurt Peter Pettigrew, but she would speak with him, stop him from joining Voldemort and save them all. Dumbledore could find another way besides a seventeen year old boy to get rid of those ridiculous Horcruxes. Harry would have his parents if she had any say in it, and thanks to a Time-Turner, she did.
O
O
O
Lily reluctantly went down the stairs to the Gryffindor's Common Room. The room was almost empty, since most everyone had gone down to dinner, so she was able to see James right away. He was sitting by the fire talking with the girl who'd gone up to get her and Lily watched him speak softly with her. She laughed and slapped his shoulder before looking up in surprise at Lily. James didn't seem to notice and he tousled his hair absently. Anger flared in Lily at the sight of him messing up his ridiculous, bleeding hair.
James stood suddenly and his eyes never left the beautiful red head as she descended the stairs and moved swiftly across the maroon carpet. He didn't even notice as his fellow quidditch player left with a knowing smile.
"What is it Potter?" Lily said forcefully.
His mouth curled into a smile as he watched her hair swish behind her and she stopped in front of him. "I was wondering if you were coming down to dinner?"
Lily was silent while she watched him warily. "That's it? That's what I got pulled out of my room for?"
Suddenly embarrassed James rubbed the back of his neck. "Well I just thought-"
"No. You didn't think. You never think about anyone but yourself! You're so arrogant! You probably thought I'd be happy to see you! Well I'm not! So, go away!" She ranted while James took this it in stride. The smile on his face faltered slightly, remembering his hasty words to his friends, but he remained silent until she finished.
"I thought you didn't come down because you were sick or something. But clearly you're fine so I'll be leaving." Liar. He thought, annoyed.
"Fine."
"Fine."
But neither moved as Lily glared at him and James smirked.
"Ladies first."
"Don't do me any favors Potter!"
"I've told you a million times, my name is James."
"I thought it was toerag…"
"Really Evans? Really?"
She laughed humorlessly and James winced. "Well James… I'm not hungry, so go to your friends and leave me alone."
"Just stop..." She gasped when he was unexpectedly very close to her and his hand reached up to touch her face. His fingers swept across her cheek bone and traced her jaw line. They pushed away some of her red hair and left a trail of heat across her pale skin. She shivered as his hand moved down her neck to her collarbone. His brown eyes stared at her emerald green ones and she was shocked she didn't jump back reflexively. In fact, she still didn't move as he dropped his hand and its warmth left her. "I can't stay away from you Lily, why don't you understand? Why don't you like me?"
She sputtered as he took a step away from her and looked her up and down. "Has Snape given you some potion that makes you hate me or something? I've heard of love potions but maybe he's invented—"
"EXCUSE ME?" She finally managed to get out and James winced at the volume. Her face turned bright red with anger and her shoulders tensed at the mention of Sev. One second his fingers had been leaving delicious trails of heat on her face and then he was ruining it with his arrogant, toad-faced mouth. She'd thought for one horrifying minute he was going to kiss her and now here was going on about Sev.
"It was a joke Evans calm down!"
"CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? I WILL NOT CALM DOWN YOU ARROGANT, SPINELESS, LITLLE TOERAG!"
"Merlin! I was kidding woman!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He shouted as she raised her wand arm.
"What's going on?" Remus called from the bottom of the boy's dorms staircase and Lily jumped away from James whose hands were still raised in surrender. "I heard shouting." Remus said uncertainly.
"Sorry Remus." Lily apologized and stuffed her wand back in her robes. Why did James infuriate to the point of threatening people? Lily Evans didn't threaten people! Although, she had to out to question whether James was an actual person.
James darkened when Lily used Remus' first name. Apparently she thought his was toerag. He'd kill Snivellus.
"I wasn't trying to sleep Lily… I was just concerned." His gaze went to James and he asked silently with his eyes if he was alright. James gave him an imperceptible nod in answer.
James Potter did not need to be saved from a woman…Unless she was a red head.
Remus couldn't help but smirk. "I didn't expect there to be a fight." He teased James, referring to James declaration that Lily would be his and the obvious failure that had turned out to be.
"I don't like roast beef anyway." James muttered and went to Remus' side.
But Lily was watching the portrait door which swung open to reveal a laughing Sirius and Hermione.
They looked up when they felt three pairs of eyes on them and Sirius waved. "Oi! There you are! We were wondering where you went off to."
No one noticed Remus eyes flash amber. At least, he hoped no one had seen his momentary lapse when he watched Sirius' shoulder bump Hermione's as they went through the portrait hole. The smell of mint, the smell he now associated with Hermione, filled his nose and she was at least twenty yards away from him. He could just imagine her breath blowing across his cheek and the way her long fingers had touched his scar with feather-light strokes.
He needed air, to get out of this damn Common Room, but he knew his friends would follow him if he left this instant. So instead, he stood frozen and watched Hermione warily. Maybe he'd have to avoid her completely because apparently, crowds didn't hinder the wolf within him.