Chapter 17:

Liam had a lot of work to do; so until I figured out what the hell to do with myself, I wallowed around his flat, sad and lonely. Liam tried to make conversation every night, none of which lasted for more than a couple minutes. I could see our relationship was struggling, and I knew it was completely my fault, but I couldn't stop it. I felt helpless and depressed and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

I could see he was becoming desperate, on the third night he came home with flowers and chocolate and we watched a movie. Unfortunately, it was nothing like our past movie dates. We watched the movie in silence, not even touching each other. During the middle of the movie, he pulled me in close, and then awkwardly released me when I cringed away. I could see the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn't offer him any kind words of comfort.

I wasn't certain why I'd decided to shut out Liam all of a sudden; after all, he was one of my main motives for coming to London. Part of me was afraid of crying, but there was more than that. Being disowned hurt, and knowing that I no longer had a home had taken its toll on me. My sub conscience kept murmuring thoughts in my head, thoughts I tried to shut out as much as possible. I was becoming depressed and pathetically so, but for the first time, my heart and mind told me the same thing: stay silent until you figure out what to do.

The night after our movie 'date' I got a text from Kelsey. You still haven't told me about the pet store… Bless her soul. Even after everything, she was willing to talk to me. I'm not sure what crazy force made me do this, but I texted her back right away.

Meet me there and I'll tell you?

Sure! :)

I showered and got dressed as quick as I could. It had been so long since I'd sat down with another girl and talked, and my inner teenager was taking charge. I hadn't had a conversation with anyone in so long, and I thirsted for some girl time. For the first time in months I wore make up, although it was rather pathetically applied and I bothered to actually braid my long, black hair. I grabbed my purse and scribbled a note for Liam, before leaving the flat.

I took a taxi to the pet store and patiently waited to Kelsey to show up. When she came, I could feel the first genuine smile I had smiled in a long time creep on my face. I could already tell this girl was going to grow on me.

Kelsey

The girl was a mess; that much was obvious, I wasn't sure why, but she was. She had attempter hair and make up, but her eyes still looked dead. I remembered her at the beginning of the year; rough style and edgy walk… everything about her radiated power and control. She knew who she was, and now she looked as if she had lost herself.

"Hi hunny." I approached her smiling, hoping to diffuse any tension.

"Hi." She tried to sound cheerful, but I could easily see through it.

"Do you want to talk?" I sat down beside her and put my arm around her shoulder.

"Can we go somewhere else first?" she sounded timid, as if she was uncomfortable in her own skin.

"Of course."

We walked in silence to a nearby park, and sat under a giant oak tree, to hide from the sun. She sighed, looking at her lap and began her story.

"I hate myself." She whispered.

"Why sweetie?"

"I'm fucking pathetic." Her voice was quiet, my bitter and resentful.

"No you aren't! Just tell me what happened."

She looked at me, probably trying to decide whether or not she trusted me, then told me everything about the last year. She told me about her partying, her popularity, why she really came to England, her parents and about a boy who she'd met in London, a boy who had brought out the best in her. She explained why she lied to him and why she was expelled.

By this point, tears were running down her cheeks, but she seemed oblivious to the fact and continued.

Her life back in America was the painful part of her story, her eyes told me so. She was alone, friendless and trapped. Her boy had come and left, and she had followed him. She didn't know why, but she had.

"And that's why I'm fucking pathetic." She concluded, teary eyed and sad.

"I know why you came." I told her.

"Do you now?" she challenged.

I smiled, "Yes. You came because you wanted someone to love you."

"It's not that simple."

"No there is more…" I paused, trying to find a way to phrase it, "You didn't want to fall back did you?" I whispered gently.

"What?" her voice quivered.

"You didn't want to be the party girl again. You wanted to go out and get drunk when you found out he was gone, didn't you? To make the pain go away?"

I saw realization in her eyes, but then she clouded it with a neutral mask, "I don't want to talk about this."

There was more, maybe it had just hit her, but there was certainly more to why she was hurting. I didn't want to pry, but sometimes those are one's only choices…

"You love him and you were afraid of changing back… but there is more. What is it?"

"Someone took pictures, and posted them online. I didn't make a fuss about it but… the only thing I could think of, was that getting stoned was the only way to make it better. I didn't want anyone to know. But my initial thought terrified me. I used to crave alcohol and weed; I thought I was over that. I had always been good at controlling my urges. He left and, I had so much access back home and…" her voice trailed off.

"You were afraid you'd get addicted?" she nodded solemnly.

We were both silent for a minute, then finally I asked her, "Would you tell me who your boyfriend is?"

She pursed her lips, and looked at me, "I may as well," she began, "You won't believe me… but, Liam. Liam… Payne."

I looked at her, trying to decide if I believed this girl or not. She had lied before, what if she was also lying about this? She obviously knew what I was thinking because she looked at me, sighed, and then pulled out her phone.

"Proof." She stated, as she pushed her phone in my face. It was a picture of her kissing a boy… and not just a boy… that boy was definitely Liam Payne.

Liam:

I came home, expecting to find Mel where she usually was, on the couch watching TV. However, for the first time, I was wrong.

"Mel?" I called, before I noticed a note on my kitchen counter.

I'm going out with a friend! I'll be home tonight!

Xoxo

I smiled to myself; Mel was finally going somewhere, having a bit of fun! Maybe tonight she'd be happier? I had missed her beautiful smile and maybe, just maybe, hanging out with a friend was what she needed to feel happy again.

Of course, this begged the question: whom had she met in London? She hadn't gone anywhere, and to my knowledge, she didn't have any friends from her that private school… so who was she with? I was about to call her, when the doorknob turned, and in came Mel.

I hadn't seen her smile in ages, and even now, her smile didn't reach her eyes, but it was a smile nonetheless. She looked much better, she had even bothered to do her hair and make up! She looked at me, walked over; wrapping her arms around my neck and pressed her lips into mine.

No words could express my joy in that moment! I had missed her so much, and even such a simple gesture showed that she was beginning to feel better. I pulled back first, and cupped her face in my hands.

"I've missed you." I told her.

Sadness grew in her eyes; she buried her head into my chest and murmured, "I've missed you too."

That's when I knew we'd be okay.