Misguided Mistake Chapter 20, a harry potter fanfic

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Chapter 20

1996:

During the night, Harry was struck with a sudden and severe fever. Chills made his entire body spasm even with Remus asleep next to him for warmth. He woke himself from shaking so much but he could not seem to understand his surroundings, Remus' form only a slight comfort in the cloth tent. He was delirious, shapes and flashes of light flashed in his vision and every movement sent a stabbing pain to his temples. He thought of waking Lupin but another chill swept through him, making him forget anything but how cold he was. Sweat dripped down his nose and into his eyes but the thought of even reaching up to brush it away was exhausting. Perhaps he had a cold? His magic protected him from ordinary muggle ailments but perhaps there was a wizard equivalent.

"R- Remus?" Harry's voice startled him with how weak it sounded. He now realized his mouth was dry as sandpaper, his tongue glued to the top of his mouth.

Lupin didn't even stir.

Harry shifted but a wave of pain to his arm made him cry out. Nausea overpowered him and he turned over - only to gag. It felt like days since he'd finished Dudley's bag of chips and the werewolves had yet to bring them a scrap of food.

Shaking, Harry slowly moved the sleeve of his injured arm, curious why he'd felt so much pain. But he'd only caught a glimpse before he collapsed heavily back. His chest heaving with the effort of breathing. His vision was darkening. Black fog drifted in from the corners of the tent to blur the dark ceiling. He was too tired and nauseous to have any last thoughts as he blacked out.

In the morning, Lupin woke painfully slow. The dirt floor was killing his back and destroying any kind of hopes of a pleasant night's sleep. He rubbed his eyes and glanced over and Harry. The boy's chest was moving very quickly considering he was supposed to be asleep and then the werewolf noticed the sheen of sweat covering every bit of Harry's exposed skin. The boy's brow was furrowed, his fingers twitching in restlessness, and his lips blue and shivering. "Harry!" Lupin shifted to place a hand on Harry's slick forehead. The heat was scalding. Remus stared at the sleeping boy a few feet away. He was breathing more shallow by the minute, little puffs of air rising to the roof of the tent. Unable to put it off another second, Remus slowly raised Harry's stiff, injured arm and pulled back the sleeve of his robe. It was even worse than he'd thought. The cut on Harry's arm oozed pus, but worst than that was the thick, spidery veins beneath the skin. They had turned dark, almost black and his entire arm, forearm to shoulder, was swollen. The tips of his fingers were shiny and discolored, suggesting the beginnings of gangrene.

Quickly, Remus jerked the sleeve back down and moved back. His hand covering his mouth as he tried to swallow down the bile that had risen to his throat.

Harry, disturbed from his sleep, shook his head numbly to wipe the disorientation from his head but it did not go away. With blurry eyes he looked around for Remus. "R- Remus?" Although Harry's bright green eyes were turned in his exact direction, they didn't seem to actually be seeing anything. They were red-rimmed and glassy

"I'm here," Remus was stunned by how calm he sounded.

Harry didn't move for a moment, then his eyelids fluttered and he drifted back into unconsciousness.

Remus removed his cloak, the gray one he'd received when he'd entered the Brotherhood and began tearing it into long bandages. Somehow he had to attend to Harry's arm or infection would kill him. Remus had preformed medicinal magic on himself time and time again but to apply the practice to someone else was an entirely different matter. And he had no magic to even help him with that. Damn them, damn them for not taking care of them or even bothering to bring them food or any kind of help at all. Surely Harry was on the brink because of those damn monsters outside.

No... because of you. A small voice hissed in the back of his mind.

Remus had ripped apart most of the robe when the tent flap was suddenly shoved aside. Remus was momentarily blinded from the sudden light that poured in from the outside. The first bit of sunshine they'd seen in days. Then Remus leapt to his feet and took a reflexive fighting stance.

"Merlin, calm down would you, you're so jumpy Moony." The flap was dropped and they were all plunged into semi-darkness again.

"Annelise?" Remus could tell by her deep, curt voice who it was immediately. She was tall, almost six feet, and had wild hair that looked as if it'd never seen a comb. She was dark skinned and her humorless smile revealed sharp, yellowed teeth. She would have been pretty if her nose had not been broken several times or if her skin had remained unmarred. But being a werewolf, she had one, thick ropey scar that extended from her left temple to her right cheek. One eye had been blinded by the scar and it was filmed over, the other eye was a sickening yellow that reflected light like a cat's in the darkness.

"I heard it was injured," she said.

"Harry's arm was scratched while he was running," Remus bristled at her referring to Harry as an 'it'. But Annelise was also the pack's only Healer, which meant she'd probably come to help them. Also, he'd noticed a tray with two bowls of thin soup in her arms.

Annelise set the tray on a knee high box and stared at the unconscious Harry. "How long has he been unconscious?"

"Just a moment ago he opened his eyes," Remus trailed off, "Merlin Annelise, his arm, it looks terrible."

Her long legs allowed her to only take two steps to get to Harry and then she was very close to his face, "I can smell it, Remus." Her nostrils flared, "It's infected, let me see it." Remus did not object. Slowly she raised the throbbing arm and thrust up the sleeve. She stared hard at it for a moment before grinning wickedly, "He is lucky, had he been a Muggle he'd be dead. His magic is protecting him from the blood poisoning."

Harry seemed to be waking slightly with all the commotion. "Are you a healer?" he asked faintly. Lupin's heart breaking in the process. There wasn't much he could've done and even with his wand he'd probably have been next too useless but guilt was clawing at his chest. What would Lily and James think if they could see them now. They'd be furious at Remus for not protecting their son! Remus began to pace.

Annelise's laugh was startlingly loud and filled the tent with noise it hadn't seen in days. "Don't be stupid. Werewolves can't be properly licensed," she grinned without humor, "who'd want a monster healing them anyway?" She growled under her breathe, a wand appeared from nowhere and she was gently running it up and down his arm, somehow knowing where to avoid any especially painful areas, "Has he been delirious? Any vomiting? Fever?"

"I hadn't - " But Remus was cut off by her glare.

"You didn't even check?"

"He hadn't said anything. I didn't even see it until a few minutes ago." Remus said defensively but he felt sick. He should've checked damn it, he didn't need her to tell him that. Lily and James voice were shouting at the conscious in his head already for being so stupid.

"I'm surrounded by idiots!" She snarled and began working even faster, and slightly rougher, on Harry's arm.

There was quiet for a few more minutes, Harry wincing every once in a while and Remus deftly wringing his hands in anxiety.

"So what's the escape plan?"

"W-what?"

Annelise rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you intend to hand over the Boy Who Lived to He Who Must Not Be Named? Or do you think it will be easier to escape from Him than a band of unorganized werewolves?"

"Annelise, I - "

"Would you stop interrupting me?" she snapped and Remus bristled but held his tongue. Even though she was the rude, abrasive one it sounded like she wanted to help them and any outside help at this point would've been greatly appreciated.

"Of course."

"Good, because I have a plan," Annelise grinned wickedly again. "You," she pointed at Remus, "you are going to fight Torin."

"I'm WHAT?"

For a moment Harry had been closing his eyes as if about to fall asleep but Remus' shout made his eyes blink open in surprise.

"Quiet!" Annelise glared at Remus' shocked face. As she spoke she grabbed one of the bowls of soup and forced Harry to begin eating it. His expression didn't leave any question as to how terrible it tasted which was saying something since they hadn't eaten in a while. "Yes, you'll challenge Torin for the right to be Chief. You'll fight and win, Moony. Once you become Alpha, you can let this prisoner go." She nudged Harry's thigh with the tip of her boot.

Remus ground his teeth, as she'd spoken he'd begun to realize what she was asking. Werewolf packs were set up strikingly similar to actual wolf packs, a hierarchy of power that allowed certain wolves better privileges and responsibilities. But it was even more complicated with werewolves, they retained many of their human qualities, reasoning, jealousies and bids for power constantly threatened a pack. To be the leader of such a band of miscreants was a death wish, eventually someone would challenge your leadership and werewolf Alphas didn't remain that way for long. Of course, Annelise would take advantage of any upper hand she could get in this never ending quarrel, including using him and Harry. "Why would I want to be Alpha? I want to leave here. I don't want any part of your pack politics, " he said finally.

Annelise smirked, she didn't even seem to mind that Remus had interrupted with a question, "Well once you've released this pup and sent that idiot human away, I'll step in," Annelise cracked her knuckles, "I'll challenge you, win, and then I'll be Alpha."

Remus rubbed his forehead and sat on a few stacked boxes and crossed his long legs at the ankles, "One, how exactly am I supposed to beat Torin and two, why don't you just fight him if you want to be Alpha?"

Annelise chuckled and the hairs on the back of Remus' neck stood on end. "How am I supposed to beat a fully grown male werewolf, half blind, Moony? You have to beat him, then throw the match against me so that I can be leader," at the word 'leader' Annelise licked her lips, " You know I can do it. You know I can whip these idiots into shape. No one will question my leadership if I beat you and they won't want to, Torin's such an idiot they don't know even know what a good leader looks like. But once I'm in charge..." Annelise's eyes had become more fierce and savage by the end, she was breathing raggedly and her fists curled and uncurled.

Remus did not look at her, instead he stared at the tent wall. "You still haven't answered how I'm supposed to beat him."

"Cheat for all I care! Just do it!" Annelise stood and began to pace, snarling and snapping if Remus so much as looked at her.

"And what if they suspect your treason, Annelise? What then?" As much as every member of the pack wanted to be the Alpha, to fail once you'd questioned the leaders authority and challenged them was begging for death. If you failed, your best hope was to be killed on the spot, but if you were already questioning a cruel or unfair leader, then such a reprieve would be unlikely. The Alpha could do most anything to you and all the pack would listen to any order given, no matter what.

Annelise paused, her breathes shallow and her eyes wild, "They won't. You're the one standing up to him and I'll be the one fighting against you. They'll think I'm a martyr. That is, until I win. Then they'll see. Then they'll see." She muttered under breathe again as she picked up her pacing where she'd left off.

"And what if I don't think you can lead them?"

Annelise growled, her nails became longer, like claws. "If you don't do this for me, Moony," her voice was strained and even deeper than before, "I won't treat him," she pointed at Harry, "He'll die if I don't mix him the antidote for Sepsis potion and your precious Wizarding World will be left without their savior!" Remus stopped breathing for a moment which only made Annelise's smile grow wider, "I didn't want to have to resort to this, Remus. But don't think I won't do it."

Remus cracked, his shoulders slumped and his face looked defeated, "Sure Annelise, I'll help you."

Annelise straightened, the picture of semi-sanity once more, "Good, I'll be back in a few hours with your antidote," and she swept out of the tent.

1976:

Hermione avoided Lily's death glare as she fumbled with her trunk. She managed to shove it in place in the over head racks then took some steadying breaths before sitting down across from Lily and prepared for an interrogation.

"Well?" Lily's voice rose in annoyance when Hermione didn't immediately launch into an explanation. "You've been quiet for the last two days but I think Alice and I have been more than patient."

Alice bent over and picked up Lily's cat so her wide grin would be hidden by her hair. Lily could be a bit dramatic when she wasn't in on a secret.

Hermione sighed and removed her robe to give her something to do while she held off the inevitable.

"You might as well tell her," Alice nodded sagely, "Otherwise she'll pry it out of you over the hols."

Lily turned to glare at Alice for a second but eventually turned the spotlight back on Hermione when she finally opened her mouth.

"Alright," Hermione said.

Lily leaned closer to hear better and even Alice paused in her petting of Lily's cat.

Remus' first swing would've connected solidly with James' nose but James' quidditch skills had given him quite a bit of agility. Prongs ducked at the last possible moment and Remus' fist swung wide just above his head, close enough to rustle some of his messy, dark hair.

"Y- you actually - Remus!" James yelped and barely managed to knock Remus' second punch away. But while James was distracted with his right handed swing, Remus sent the other to his friend's gut. James' oomphed and stumbled back a bit. It hadn't been a particularly hard hit, since Remus had used his left hand but he was still a werewolf. "What the hell! What's your problem?"

"That's enough, Remus!" There was no way Remus had not heard Hermione's clear, bossy voice but he did a good job ignoring her.

The only fight Hermione had ever seen or been in, where fists had actually been sent flying is when she'd punched Draco. She'd been running on pure anger at the time so she honestly couldn't remember much of it. Except the sweet satisfying crunch as Draco's nose broke and the swell of pride when he'd run off crying. A swell of pride would still fill her chest by even thinking about it years later.

This was her only thought that could dance across her brain as Remus jumped from a standing position onto his friend. He hadn't drawn his wand. If he had, she might of had a better chance of stopping him, but Remus was running on pure adrenaline and anger and not his usual calm, thoughtful self. This was Remus' wolf taking charge. It was the only thing that made sense. Any other wizard would've snapped out their wand the second it looked like a fight. She had no clue why James was so slow unless he had never expected Remus to attack him and Hermione could not blame him. Who would ever expect Remus to attack anyone? Let alone his best friend.

"Stop! Remus stop!" Hermione tried to run forward but Remus had already knocked James flat on his back. She thought of throwing a Protego shield between them but she wasn't sure if she could aim properly enough or if she'd only send them further across the pitch. Instead she tried to grab Remus' arm as he cocked back to actually hit his friend. "Please Remus! Please!"

Remus growled as he tried to get James beneath him so he could hit him properly.

"Merlin's pants!" Sirius seemed to have appeared out of nowhere, just in time to witness the escalating fight.

"Remus! Remus listen!" James gasped but Remus had accidently kneed his stomach when he'd first leapt on him and James' voice was hoarse.

Then James' vision went dark when one of Remus' punches connected. He could see bright lights exploding behind his eyelids but he couldn't pay attention to that because now Remus had pinned him. "You actually hit me!" James yelped. He struggled to get away for a second before finally hitting Remus back. His fist landed somewhere in Remus' side but the wild teen didn't seem to notice. Instead, he growled more.

Sirius hesitated only a second before sprinting forward and tackling Remus. Limbs flew in every direction as the two boys sailed through the air and landed heavily on the ground.

James was lying on his back, his eyes wide in shock and some embarrassment. But it looked as though Sirius had saved him in time, Remus hadn't given him any lasting damage.

Sirius had gotten lucky, landing on Remus' chest, knocking the wind out of him and giving Sirius time to pin his hands. "Calm down!"

"Get off me!"

"No! You've got to calm down!"

Remus struggled and growled under Sirius for a few more minutes but Sirius leaned forward and began speaking to him a more quiet voice. Hermione could not hear what was being said but Remus was calming down at last. When he was completely still Sirius looked up again and grinned at the stunned audience that had gathered on the scene.

"Nothing to see here folks! Just a bit of rough housing, nothing to worry about!"

People were giving skeptical scoffs but eventually they shrugged and moved off one by one until the crowd was dispersed and it was only Remus, James, Sirius, Peter and Hermione. They all sat frozen for a while.

Hermione wanted to say something, anything to overcome the silence but Sirius beat her to it.

Slowly he stood and helped his friend to his feet. He slapped Remus' shoulder and silently handed him a vial of Sobering Potion. "Alright, what's going on?"

No one answered.

"It's sort of... complicated." Hermione said weakly, her cheeks flushing when she realized they were all staring at her.

"Right, got that," Sirius sighed and ran his hand through his long hair. "Well my night's officially ruined so I'm going to - "

"W'at's goin' on 'ere!" A booming voice made everyone freeze.

A wall seemed to step right into her vision. She gasped when she put together the voice and matted hair and large back.

"Hagrid!" Sirius said cheerfully, not a bit bothered that a teacher had just walked in on his party.

Hagrid's head turned and when he finally saw the Marauders he seemed to put two and two together, he shook his head then turned his attention back to the many surprised students around him, "Yeh should be ashamed of yerselves. Get back to yer beds. All a' ya!"

There were a few grumblings but everyone began walking back the castle. "Yer lucky I don't tell Dumbledore 'bout this!" At these words the grumbling ceased and the students picked up their feet. "Oh no." Hagrid lunged forward to grab Sirius and Peter by the scruffs of their necks. "Yeh two is stayin' with me."

Hermione had not moved from her spot, she was frozen as she watched Remus. She couldn't believe how messed up everything had become in the last five minutes. How had he even heard about that stupid, pointless kiss? She certainly hadn't told anyone! But she desperately needed to talk to him. First she'd sort out the feelings that had plagued her this week and then she'd beg on her knees for Remus to take her back. Because now that she could see there was a possibility he wouldn't, she could feel herself dying inside.

What if he can't stand to look at me after this... Ugh I've been so stupid!

Remus sighed, "How much trouble are we in this time?"

"Calmed down 'ave yeh? I swears if yeh kids don' stop runnin' round after hours… well one of these days I'll be tellin' Dumbledore, I will!" Hagrid glared around at the torn up field. "Can't yeh find some other place to destroy. I'd thought yeh'd actually grown out of this 'ere stuff. 'Aven't seen yeh 'round. Then you 'ave to go make this mess!"

It was pretty bad. Butterbeer bottles and caps littered the field and the grass was torn up in several places, especially in the spot where James and Remus had had their scuffle.

Sirius had the gall to laugh.

"Yeh start clearin' this 'ere mess Sirius Black! I won' be pickin' up aft- Who's this?" Hagrid had finally spotted Hermione standing next to chuckling Sirius, "Aven't seen yeh 'round before. 'Course with the number of kids yeh can't ex'pect meh to remem'er em all," he said with a grin.

Hermione smiled and offered Hagrid her hand. "Hermione Granger." Another name to add to Dumbledore's list. She said to herself.

"Rubeus 'agrid. Keeper of Keys an' Grounds here at 'ogwarts." He said proudly. His huge hand wrapped around her forearm and he shook her as gently as he could. "Now w'at's a nice girl like yeh 'angin' wit' these 'ere 'ooligans fer?"

Hermione laughed, "I honestly have no clue."

"Do yeh know why they was fightin'?"

"Well..." Hermione looked around at a beaming Sirius and Peter, Remus till refused to meet her eye which was disturbing, what he must think of her. But she couldn't blame him, she didn't even understand where her brain had run off to when she'd kissed James. But she couldn't bear to have Remus be mad at her. She needed to speak with him as soon as possible but not with Hagrid, Sirius and Peter as an audience. James should probably join the conversation too. "Um. James?" Hermione looked around frantically. She didn't notice Remus stiffen. But she spotted him on the far side of the field. There was James and… Lily?

Lily was fussing over the ruffled James, but the messy haired boy was hardly bothered if the half bemused, half blissful look on his face was anything to go by.

"Oi! Beating him up might've been a blessing in disguise!" Sirius laughed when he also saw James. "Look at Lily hanging all over him!" Hermione tried to give Sirius a small smile to show him she also found it amusing but she could not look away from Remus. He arms were crossed protectively over his chest and his stance matched his uncharacteristic scowl.

Hagrid turned away from Lily and James and pointed at Sirius, Remus and Peter. "Yes, well. You better believe yeh'll be helpin' me in the Forest when yeh lot get back from yer 'olidays." Hagrid immediately drew Sirius and Peter's attention, both boys began shouting and arguing.

"That's not fair- !"

"It was all Sirius' idea!"

At Wormtail's outburst Sirius scoffed and turned from Hagrid to Peter. "You weren't exactly fighting me all the way here Wormtail!"

"Well I ain't goin' in that forest again! The last time you got us in trouble with Hagrid and we had detention in there, remember that? Well I remember those bloody Henbane plants! I had that rash for weeks Padfoot! Weeks! And I ain't goin' back in there, you can't make me!"

Remus said nothing.

"Now boys." Hermione scolded. "You didn't actually expect to get away scrape free from this did you? I told you it was a bad idea to- "

"Alright, alright you were right Hermione. Now please, spare us the lecture," Sirius sighed.

Hermione straightened up and looked down her nose at him, furious that he was brushing her off again. "Well I did tell you. So you better help Hagrid out with this mess and anything else he tells you to, or I'll go to Dumbledore myself."

Sirius scoffed and sputtered in disbelief that she would even threaten to go to Dumbledore but Hermione turned away from him.

"Thank yeh Hermione," Hagrid stroked his beard. "This lots quite a 'andful, and I really do need some 'elp in the Forest."

"Of course Hagrid."

"Perhaps yeh'd like to come too? " Hagrid beamed at her.

"We'll see," Hermione agreed nervously, considering the last time she'd agreed to help Hagrid in the forest he'd introduced her to his lovely half-brother that was also a giant.

Hagrid, undeterred by Hermione's lack of enthusiasm, had puffed out his chest and was standing a little taller. "There are a few things I'll 'ave yeh do but it's better than lines or cleaning cauldrons or whatever Dumbledore would 'ave yeh do right?"

Peter shrugged and Sirius sighed.

"If that's all I think I'll be heading to the castle. As always it was nice seeing you Hagrid," Remus said formerly. Hermione half expected him to bow but instead he began taking long strides away from them.

"Oh dear." Hermione sighed. "Remus! Oh, please slow down! Remus!" Hermione ran after him but it was quite difficult since he was so much taller. She ran for some time until she was close enough to grab his sleeve. They'd left the pitch far behind and were halfway up the hill to the castle. Her breathe was coming out in short gasps and she considered giving up when Remus suddenly stopped. Hermione couldn't stop her momentum and ran directly between his shoulder blades.

"Oomph!"

Hermione fell back into the wet grass, her legs at awkward angles and her butt sore. Remus immediately reached out to help her up but she was so embarrassed she couldn't raise her head to notice.

Hermione sat awkwardly and didn't move, even as the wet grass began to seep through her robe. "I'm sorry," she blurted.

Remus said nothing as he slowly dropped his hand and crouched down next to her.

"Why do you say that?" he said quietly.

"I should've told you. The reason I didn't was because it honestly wasn't important or significant in any way. And by not telling you, well it makes it seem like James and I have something to hide and that's the furthest thing from the truth. I'd forgotten it'd even happened actually," Hermione trailed off and realized she was babbling, "my point is… I could care less about kissing James but I can understand if you're mad. I mean, if you snogged one of my friends…" Hermione had to stop.

Remus' eyes flicked over her face and she could not imagine what her expression was. But it must have got through because he nodded.

"I would never do that."

"I know! I know but it was before I even liked you and – "

Remus frowned and glared at the grass. "I'm sorry too. I don't know what's wrong with me lately," he struggled for words and Hermione waited, scared for some reason, "it's like I'm angry all the time. Everything upsets me and then I overreact. I- I actually hit my best friend." Remus' eyes widened.

"But you were drunk," Hermione tried to console him.

"Does it matter?" He snarled. "Why was I even drinking? I never drink. It irritates my… condition. But I drank anyway." Remus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why would I –," he said again.

Hermione looked away from his pained expression. Remus shifted a bit before he grabbed Hermione's hands and pulled her up with him, then Remus turned away from her.

Remus was rubbing his neck and Hermione could see the stiffness in his shoulders. What had happened? Everything had been going so well only a few days ago but now - Well now Remus hated her. How could he not?

His next words stunned her. "Hermione, I think it's not really working with us. To be honest I think I'd rather not be with you and only see the good things between us, than," he paused and Hermione realized she was holding her breathe, "well, than have you and be fighting all the time... I can't afford to have you hate me... So maybe we should just…"

He seemed unable to finish and Hermione was grateful because she had a terrible feeling about what he wanted to say next. Hermione stood awkwardly behind him, staring at his rigid shoulder blades and she wanted to smack him so he'd at least turn and look at her. "Remus, I – I could never hate you," She paused. Any excuse would just appear weak, but she wanted him to forgive her, she needed him to. "I- I know that you're angry but please look at me!"

Slowly he turned until she could see half his face.

"Remus, I don't believe you."

Remus' eyebrows shot up and his mouth dropped open for a second before snapping shut. "W-what?"

"If you need some space for a while I can understand and even respect it. I messed up and the mature thing to do is to back off for a while," Hermione wanted to cry, to rant and rave and give him a billion reasons why he shouldn't just give up after this but if he really was upset, then acting like everything was fine would make things worse later and she couldn't bear the thought of things ending like this, because of something she had done. So she swallowed and continued. "We're not giving up, I refuse to. But if you need a break for a while I- I'll manage."

Remus' stunned look had vanished and he'd blinked through several emotions during her speech but he finally settled on a skeptical and slightly hurt look. "You're serious?"

"I can't say much to convince you to forgive me just like that, since you're right, I should have told you. So I'll give you your space and I'll love you from whatever distance you put between us. From a f-far" She was wavering. She held back a sniffle and played with the wand in her robe pocket out of habit. His silence was scaring her a bit. Maybe she'd done the wrong thing? Should she have fought harder? Actually yelled and stomped her feet until he relented. But that seemed so wrong. The uncertainty was daunting and scared her.

Remus had settled on looking at his feet and the quiet between them was horrible. It was almost a relief when he opened his mouth to break the quiet, "I'll see you next term alright?"

And before she could protest he was gone.

Classes were over and the time when everyone would be heading home for holidays was only a day away.

Now that Remus wasn't around to distract her, Hermione noticed for the first time that the castle was decorated for Christmas and was as beautiful as she'd ever seen it. The giant Christmas trees in the Great Hall were sparkling with bright glass ornaments and green wreaths seemed to be hangings from ever fixture and doorway imaginable.

James tried one desperate attempt to corner Lily with a sprig of mistletoe and was rewarded with a slap. Normally Hermione would have given him a friendly hug or some kind of encouragement to make him feel better but given the circumstances she decided against it.

After that night Remus had not spoken to her at all. But sometimes she would feel someone staring at the back of her head and when she'd turn to see who, Remus would be standing there admiring some moving portrait or hastily stuffing his nose in a book. He must've been surprised by her reaction to what she suspected was him trying to break up. And the way they were acting certainly seemed like they'd never speak again. A lump jumped to her throat but Hermione shook it off with thoughts of how much worse things would be if she'd thrown a fit.

Eventually he'll come back. He will. He will. She thought to herself over and over.

Lily finally cornered her, the night before they were all meant to go home.

"I've already taken care of everything, we just need to get you packed."

"Packed for what exactly?"

Lily grabbed her arm and began tugging her up the stairs to their room, "Well I couldn't stand the thought of you staying here all by yourself, so," Lily grinned and Hermione's heart sunk, "I took matters into my own hands." They'd reached their room and Lily immediately began throwing Hermione's clothes in her trunk, studying several jeans and either throwing them in or chucking them over her shoulder. "I spoke with Dumbledore and he agreed that the best thing would be for you to come home with me for Christmas!"

"And you know the rest, you helped me pack and we're heading to your house for the holidays." Hermione played with her bangs for a minute in anxiety, avoiding Lily's eyes. She'd given her the edited story, leaving out the bits with her and James as much as she could but Lily must have been putting two and two together. She was way too smart to not suspect anything. She was probably regretting inviting Hermione over at this very minute.

"Well that's interesting," Alice said, obviously to fill the void of the awkward silence.

Lily sat for another moment before she stared shouting, her outburst making both girls jump, "I can't believe you and Remus have been having a secret relationship! I mean obviously I thought you liked each other but you've going out for ages!"

"Not exactly ages, Lily... And you thought we liked each other?"

"This is totally unacceptable!" Lily ignored Hermione, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation then collapsing against the seat. "No more secrets alright?"

Hermione gulped and couldn't meet Lily's hurt green eyes, "Sure," she lied.

After this, most of the train ride passed in silence until they were almost to the train station.

Their compartment door was suddenly thrown open and in its stood Snape, his breathing heavy.

"S- Sev?"

"Lily, I've brought your Christmas present," he now reached into his pocket as he spoke, chancing a glance down the train as if to make sure no one was watching, "Also, don't worry about giving me a ride, I'm going with Regulus."

Snape finally seemed to notice there were other people in the compartment and his enthusiasm flittered away. His brow creased and a slow sneer was spreading.

"Severus. I really can't - "

"Just take it, alright?" Snape shoved a box under her nose and when she hesitated he dropped it in her lap then turned and slammed the door.

It opened only a second later, "Your welcome." Snape snapped. Then shoved the door closed with more force.

Silence filled the compartment once more.

"What an arse."

"Alice!" But this was the only protest Lily gave as she glared at Snape's present. Eventually she moved it to her suitcase without opening it.

You deserve an explanation for the long delay so here it is, well after chapter 19 I kind of lost steam. 19 took me forever to write too, but chapter 20 was torturous for me. Then, my computer broke down and I couldn't write anything at all. So I've been writing long-hand and I've finished the next three chapters and my awesome, amazing computer-nerd brother fixed my baby, Hector (yes, I named my computer Hector XD) but he fixed it and I've just been trying to transfer the pages and pages and pages I've written into Word. Then once my computer was fixed it was time for finals and I was busy studying for that, THEN my Grandpa became sick. He had leukemia so they removed part of his liver, so he doesn't have a good immune system he was moved to a hospitable, anyway we were really worried about him but he's okay now. This obviously really had me worried. So I've been putting this on hold while I got myself together. So now updates will hopefully return to a normalish schedule. We'll see. Love and thanks to you, faithful readers. I promise to finish this story no matter how long it takes, alright? Love and cyber cookies!