Hey everyone, this is the first "story" I ever published, so please be nice :) I thought it was sad that no one really said anything of importance at Kate's funeral, so I just gave it a try. Please review to let me know what to do better!
Hi, er… my name is Jenny Shepard. I'm the director of NCIS and… I would have been Caitlin's new boss. I was asked to give this speech two hours ago, so I don't have anything prepared… I'll just have to say whatever comes to my mind. I beg your pardon, Caitlin, if this isn't what you would have wanted it to be.
I didn't know you at all – I never met you, hardly ever heard your name. I only read it on the first pages of the profiles you did for me, and I have to admit that I was surprised at how good you were – how precise. I could guess from the way you did those profiles that you loved your work. And you were the best at it. Actually I don't know if I'll ever find someone with the same abilities.
Oh God… I hate giving speeches. I'm pretty useless at improvising. I guess I should now say something tearful about how I don't know how to live on without you and that you would have wanted me to carry on – but that sounds as if we were closest friends… it somehow feels wrong. You, in fact, didn't even know I existed. Caitlin, you can't imagine how crappy I feel, standing here and trying to say something nice and just not being able to think of anything. I didn't even know your first name until I had to sign your autopsy report.
You were valuable for us, Caitlin, for all of us. Now only as Special Agent Todd, but as friend, as confidante… obviously as someone who made her team smile once in a while. A part that can't be replaced.
I don't think I have the right to say anything about your character, but I can tell you how noticed the people you left behind are changing. Their reactions tell me much about you.
Some of them try to protect the rest of the team with all their power. You were strong, Caitlin, and never wanted protection. And in the first and only moment you could have needed it your friends were helpless. Now they are afraid of ever letting such a thing happen again – I've known Jethro for ages, and it's not normal for him to act like that without a reason.
Some others just try to go on. They were educated to be tough, and they know screaming and smashing fists into walls won't bring you back. I know them well enough to notice how they grieve silently. They go on with making stupid jokes and movie references and they still stare after everything with long legs and curves, but they do it to forget everything else – even if it's just for a moment.
Some others have now idea how to behave. They've never been in a situation like that before. They want to comfort their friends while they have no idea how to handle their own pain. They don't know anything, in fact.
And some just hid in their labs and cried a whole night.
Caitlin, the team that is now under my order is standing here to pay you their last respects. Not one of them can think of ever replacing you with another agent. They love you, Caitlin, and they miss you. I don't know how to deal with a team that is grieving so deeply for someone I didn't even bother to get to know. I'll have to find someone else to do your work now, and I know how they'll hate me and that new someone simply for being there.
I'm sorry for this poor speech. It wasn't much of a requiem, but it was the best I could make of it. We well remember you, Caitlin, always.
Rest in peace.