Taken

"Maybe he was wrong. But... this is still his brother. Are you positive? Are you sure this isn't... this isn't... for something else? Like... maybe..."

"Do you know you have nine missed calls from one Naruto Uzumaki?" Itachi remarks, comfortably settling on my bed, folding one hand over the other. The barest of light from the shades hits the side of his face, revealing the familiar features of my elder brother, everything from the amusement in his eyes to the smirk on his lips.

I'm not the only one who hasn't changed.

"I know the dobe is calling. That's why my phone's off," I hiss, dropping my backpack. "What are you doing here?"

I triple check the date in my head. It isn't my birthday, it isn't any holiday, and it isn't the end of the world. Just yet. "Shouldn't you be in London or Rome or wherever it is that's on the other side of the globe? Wait..." I temporarily stop my bitter train of words. "How did you get in?"

"To answer your questions in order: I'm obviously here to see you, little brother. I was in Munich, but decided a small vacation never hurts. Finally, I told the apartment lady my name is Sasuke Uchiha and politely asked for a spare card and key. It is very convenient that they print the exact floor and number on the card."

How Karin has not thought of that is beyond me. I better close that loophole by the end of the week, or suffer dire consequences. "But- what- and so you just march right in for no reason?" I spit out.

"Of course not," Itachi says. "I do have a reason: I wanted to see you."

As appealing as those words sound, I am a second year law student. If there's anything I've learned, it's that when something sounds too good to be true, you better believe it's not. I yank my brother's sweater and stare into his eyes. "Alright, who died? Mom or Dad?"

He lowers his eyelids. "Neither," he enunciates. "I didn't come here to act as a messenger, Sasuke. How many times are you going to make me say I came for you."

I blink. Then suddenly let go of him, a flush creeping up my neck. I make a note to free myself from Karin before she completely pulls me down into the gutters with her.

So no one died, and Itachi is insistent that there isn't a gimmick this time. A bit of relief, a bit of indignation, and a lot of giddy that I am way too old to fall victim to again. No way. This is Itachi. There is always a catch.

"So you came to see me," I state, deadpan.

"Yes. How are you doing, Sasuke?"

I pull out my high school cue cards. "Fine," I say. Maybe then he'll tire of this game and tell me what the hell is going on. And if he doesn't, I'll just assume the pressure of being too goddamn perfect has finally gotten to him, and he's gone batshit crazy; there's no other explanation for why he's in my fucking bedroom.

"I am not our mother, Sasuke," Itachi sighs. "I deserve a little more than a monosyllable."

"Everything is fine." I extenuate out the five syllables, about to roll my eyes, but stop when I realize how childish that must look.

"Hm... let's see. 4.0. Rank one. Excellent case analysis. Interned at one of the largest law firms last summer and four job offers already. Also, I do believe the Legal Writing teacher has fallen for you. Did I miss anything?"

I automatically turn to my desk and notice the tidy pile of papers that should be in dreadful disorder. Somebody did some cleaning. Without my permission.

I glare. Itachi smiles. "All of that deserves a little more than a 'fine,' Sasuke. And yet, you did not answer my question. How have you been fairing? Eating better, hopefully?"

"And here I thought you would know that too. Didn't have a chance to raid through my fridge yet?" I bite out sarcastically.

"I'm afraid not," Itachi concedes. "Your friends-"

A loud knock. "Oy, Sasuke, you okay? Did you snap or something, 'cause only crazies talk to themselves!"

"- showed up before I had the chance. They are rather... interesting to listen to. Will you introduce me to them?" There is a playful twinkle in his eyes that I know spells trouble.

More pounding.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. I take for granted Itachi's soft, calm baritone and often forget my loud, abrasive voice – yet another thing I caught from that contagious dobe. "They. Are. Not. My. Friends." I clarify.

"Yes we are, sweetheart!" Karin calls from outside the door.

I cannot take this. Only Itachi has the power to break over a decade of routine and throw me completely off tracks. "That's it, out! Out! All of you!" I yell. "Not you—" I hiss, grabbing my brother's arm and tossing him back on the bed. "You're going to stay here and then tell me what the fuck is going on."

I stomp across my room, unbolt and open my door, and wave the Suigetsu and Karin away. I slam the bedroom door behind me.

"You got your food, your couch, now get the hell out of my apartment," I grit, grabbing the two by the wrist and dragging them out to the exit. Juugo casually follows.

"Oy, why were you all hysterics in your room earlier?" Suigetsu questions.

"None of your business!"

"Everything is my business! You know, if you need to see a shrink, I know someone sensational who can give you a discount..."

"I'd rather be skinned alive first."

"Oh, she does fetishes too." Suigetsu grins, leaning at the doorway, and I feel an undying urge to introduce my palm to my forehead.

"Oh. My. God!" Karin shrieks, tugging free before I could throw her out. "Who are you?"

The other two turn around as well. Itachi, not helping with the situation, greets them with a wave. I am convinced his purpose in life is to make mine as complicated as possible.

Suigetsu whistles. "So that's why you wanna kick us out."

"Just what are you insinuating," I dare, narrowing my eyes.

Suigetsu crosses the line, as usual. "I see Mr. Handsome locked up in your bedroom. What do you think I'm insinuating?"

I slap the back of his head. Hard. Then I march over to Itachi and Karin to do some damage control.

"Hiii! I'm Karin," the redhead coos, batting her eyelashes. "Are you a friend of Sasuke's?"

"He's my brother," I grit, pulling her away before she can get her spidery hands on him, not that physical distance is going to stop her.

"Brother, huh. I didn't know that," Karin chuckles darkly, biting her thumb, her eyes hungrily scrutinizing my brother up and down. Her gaze freezes. Then, making a sour face, she turns her attention towards me and pouts. "Say, Sasuke," she whines. "How come you never tell us these things?"

"Because he's four thousand miles away, and when he does visit every decade or so, he brings another jar of dust with him," I snarl, shooting another bullet towards my useless brother.

"Et des gateaux au chocolat," Itachi adds, not the bit fazed.

"That I hate," I snap.

"True," he shamelessly admits. "But they are quite delicious."

"Aunt Uruchi was the better souvenir."

I would have tossed out a few more pieces of my mind at him had Juugo not interrupted. "Ah, if I may, where you are from, Sasuke's brother?" Juugo politely questions. "I'm afraid I don't recall Sasuke ever mentioning you, either."

"I wouldn't blame him if he hasn't told anyone," Itachi replies, nodding his head in concession. "We haven't met in person for quite a while now. The past three years, I've been caught up with some business in Munich. I only landed in Stamford this morning."

Juugo doesn't conceal his surprise. "You flew in from Germany? What for?"

Here, Itachi directs one of his guilty-tripping faces towards me; he can't expect me to be affected by that old trick. "Well, I came here to spend time with my darling little brother..."

That's when Juugo suggests the most brilliant idea ever. "If that's the case, we'll leave you two alone-"

Unfortunately, even when Fate throws me a bone, my brother has to catch it and chuck it aside. "No, it would be improper of me to cut into Sasuke's quality time with his friends-"

"They are not my friends."

"- besides, it seems he's in another of his 'fine' moods."

"Actually, Sasuke isn't too tolerant of us today either," Juugo states warily, eying me with concern, before returning to my brother. "We tried to invite him to the LGBT movie marathon, but he says he's busy."

"LGBT?"

"Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender," Juugo explains, scratching the back of his neck, and here is where Suigetsu flips in to make his grandeur introduction.

"Welcome, monsieur," Suigetsu dramatically announces, bowing deeply, "to the Gay Ivy. Limited time offer. Flamingo pink boas and glitter not necessarily included."

Itachi merely blinks. "Interesting," he muses. "Is this an open event?"

"Wait, what?" I ask, baffled.

"Of course!" Juugo says, beaming. "Free admission and food, too. Would you like to attend?"

Karin pounces in. "Ooh, you should. And I'd love to give a tour of the campus."

"A tour and movie sound lovely."

"Wait, you're leaving?" I demand.

Itachi is already at the doorway. "You are obviously tired, Sasuke. We'll talk the morrow."

"What!"

"Good night, Sasuke."

The others are surprisingly adaptable to this new change in plans and accompany him.

"So, I'm Juugo. This is Karin and Suigetsu..."

"Nice to meet you..."

The door closes. My eye twitches. Have I been... ditched?

I pick up the football from the floor of my living room, which by the way, is an utter mess, courtesy of the trio. And suddenly, I am in the mood for nailing something hard.

That is, until the door opens again. I look up, stunned, my breath trapped in my throat.

"Oy, sorry dude, can I get that back?"

I smirk when the football smashes square in Suigetsu's face. I stalk back to my room, telling myself I have no time for idiotic movies.

Fifty minutes of staring at a blinking cursor later, I give up trying to write my thesis and turn in, angrily slamming a pillow over my head.