id:7587629

Irony of Secret

Galaya

Previous chapter: Verin

This is the newest chapter! I've been asked why Merlin wasn't forced to take his cloak off. Basically, (I forgot to add this) it was his one condition for coming quietly not to reveal his identity. They decided it would be easier and just let him stay hidden.

Chapter 11: A Dangerous Enemy, a Powerful Ally, and a Loyal Friend

"Korwan should not have killed Verin," Gwen said, shaking her head. "I just don't understand why he did it."

"Not everyone believes that all deserve a chance to redeem themselves. Verin tried to kill all of us," Emrys told her.

"I don't think he was really going after you. You are another sorcerer."

Emrys just chuckled.

"I'm not like most sorcerers. There are some who wish me dead. I've managed to make quite a nuisance of myself. The Lady Morgana is one.

"She actually doesn't know about my magic, which is a good thing for everyone. I am quite powerful and experienced in magic. I should be; I have been using magic since before I could talk. I she were to find out, well, let's just say chaos would ensue.

"One thing I've learned that is important is that judging someone on beliefs, abilities, or family will only lead to chaos. If you judge a person on their personality and choices, you will get a new side of a person. I try to do that, and that is probably what saved me.

"You have a good heart, Gwen. Take care never to lose it."

'That sounded similar to something I was told years ago. By Merlin. You know, Emrys actually really reminds me of Merlin. They are very similar… Emrys said we'd met him before. He also knew Merlin was injured. And he said Morgana hated him. Morgana really dislikes Merlin. Could Emrys really be Merlin?' she wondered, getting excited. 'No, wait. Merlin's injured. Though magic could heal an injury…'

Gwen stated, "Emrys, you said you live in Camelot. And that we know you."

"That wasn't a question," the sorcerer observed.

"N-. No. It's just, if we know you, why do you still hide?"

"I have my reasons. Partially, it's that were Arthur to find out, there's no telling what he would do. When you've known someone for some time, it's hard to learn new secrets about them. I don't want to put anyone in that position."

"But wouldn't life be easier if you did?"

Sounding sheepish, he said, "It would, but… I guess you could say I've grown used to hiding."

'Now that really does sound like something Merlin would say,' she thought.

"So how well do we know you?"

"You all know me quite well, besides my magic and some of my experiences."

"You remind me a lot of my friend, Merlin."

Emrys remained silent.

Quietly, Gwen questioned, "Are you Merlin?"

Sighing, the sorcerer reached up and pulled of his cowl. Pulling it off, he revealed he was, indeed, Merlin.

"You are Merlin!" she exclaimed.

"Not so loud!" he admonished, "I do want to stay hidden for a reason!"

"It's just, why would you help Camelot? Camelot executes sorcerers! Why come to Camelot? Why put up with being Arthur's servant?"

"I didn't know Uther had banned magic when I came here. My mother sent me to Gaius to help me control my…gifts.

"I put up with being Arthur's servant because he as a good heart. I help Camelot because I hope things can change for us all. Not just me. For you. For the Knights. For all with magic. And so that perhaps a time of peace can come.

"All I've ever really wanted is not to be forced to hide. I hardly know what's lie and what truth is anymore. I don't remember a time when fear and caution weren't part of my life. I think they've always been.

"What I hate most isn't the act that I could die; it's that I have to lie. I'm not lying about something I've done. I'm lying about a large part of my very identity.

"You don't know what it's like. Having to fear one's friends. The guilt threatens to crush you, if the fear doesn't. I've seen, experienced, ad done things that no one should have to.

"You know what's really scary? Knowing that someone, friends even, could turn around and stab you in the back is frightening. Knowing that a secret like this can drive you to insanity is absolutely terrifying."

"Then why chose magic?" Gwen asked.

Merlin chuckled humorlessly.

"I didn't. I've known how to use magic since before I could walk; pretty much since the day I was born. I've never known joy or peace. Only fear and distrust."

"That must be extremely lonely."

"I don't think you can't even begin to imagine it unless you've experienced it."

"You always seem happy." She commented.

"There's a difference between happiness or relief and joy or peace. I'm often happy, but that doesn't mean I'm at peace with myself. I don't think I ever will be, considering how much I've lied and deceived," the young explained.

"Why not just flee and go somewhere magic's accepted?"

"Arthur wouldn't survive a day without me! And besides, I am happy in Camelot."

"What do you mean, 'Arthur wouldn't survive day without you?'"

"I'm always getting him out of near-death situations," the warlock laughed.

"How? Magic?"

"How else? I basically pick apart the enemies' defenses. Many underestimate me, which goes to my advantage."

"Yes, who would expect Arthur's servant to be a powerful sorcerer? Hey, how did you cover up your injury?"

"I enchanted this to disguise it and seem to heal it. I probably don't need it now, but I'll keep it until I'm sure it's healed. And, before you ask, Gaius has probably told everyone it got infected and needs special care. He's used to my excuses. Though I think he tells Arthur I go to the tavern whenever I'm investigating a new danger just to annoy me!"

"So, he knows about your magic?"

"Of course. He found out when we first met. I saved him from a fatal fall. I didn't even know any spells back then. Huh. It's odd to think back to then… And, of course, I do live with him!" Merlin confirmed.

"Right," Gwen responded. "I'll keep your secret."

"Thanks. It's good to know that I can confide in you now as well, Gwen."

LONGEST CHAPTER! 1,007 words! Yea! I think Gwen really should find out about Merlin soon. I meant to add Merlin's new ability in this, but I can't find a way to squeeze it in. Anyways, Reviews? Please?

Chapter preview: They arrive at Darkmoore Castle. Emrys disappears. More new ability!

Next chapter: Darkmoore Castle