Rating: T for the h-word and d-word. If I'm rating it wrong, tell me or something so I can get it right for whatever other crap I may write.
Summary: Cinderella, Death Note style. When Prince Light hosts a ball, he ends up falling for the strangest of the guests.
Spoilers: Takada, Mikami, and Mello show up. But that's pretty much it I think...
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I don't own Cinderella either (I think it might be Disney's now...Not quite sure...)
Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight, and a little dash of Takada/Mikami. Oh, and plenty of OOCness
A/N: ...I got nothing this time...
ONCE UPON A TIME (because it doesn't get more uncreative than that...)
There was a small boy named L. No one knows why he was named that. Anyway, L's parents got a divorce and he stayed with his dad. His dad remarried, then committed suicide. We suspect his new wife was so damn annoying that he couldn't take it anymore (and that's what he screamed on the way down the cliff) so he killed himself. That left L with his stepmother and stepsister. Just that was a migraine on it's own. To top it all off, they both hated L with the flaming passion of a yaoi scene in a fangirl's imagination.
The stepmother (named Misa) and the stepsister (Named Takada) were both very jealous of L's good looks. That or the fact that he ate sweets all day and was still as skinny as a twig. Because of their jealousy, they always made L do all the chores. They always teased him by calling him 'Cinder-L-a' because cleaning out the fireplace always covered him in ashes and cinders and his lack of weight made him look rather feminine. In return, L hid snakes in their beds once a week.
One day, the royal messenger, Mikami, was sent by Prince Light to deliver a message to everyone in the kingdom. This included Misa and Takada, and they eagerly read the invitation. Apparently, Prince Light and King Yagami were looking for someone for Light to marry and so everyone in the kingdom was invited (including men, because they were that desperate to find someone Light would like) to a grand ball. Both of the girls squealed in delight at the chance to marry the prince and demanded that L help them get ready, for the ball was that very day in only three hours. L replied that he was male and while they could force him to help with make-up and hair, he wasn't going to help dress them. Misa screamed that he was a pervert and dragged Takada to their room.
It took a full hour and a half for them to pick out dresses. Then Misa yelled for L to come help them tie their ribbons and choose colors. The next hour was spent deciding which of the twenty shades of black went better with Misa's eyes, which ribbon should be used to tie up Takada's hair, and overall doing everything hair and make-up related for two obsessed females.
It was a wonder he hadn't gone insane yet.
The make-up took another hour, then just to be sure they wouldn't be late, Misa and Takada scurried out the door. They yelled out for 'Cinder-L-a' to be miserable about not going and he could cry them a river of tears to wash the dishes. Then they took the river of tears back because if he did that all the food would taste all salty.
"Fine by me," L shrugged, curling up in a chair with a good book. "I don't want to go anyway."
"Oh you're going to that ball and you're going to be so damn beautiful only a corpse wouldn't marry you because corpses are DEAD!"
L whipped around to stare at the room's new occupant, a blonde guy dressed in tight, black clothes and glaring at him as though he were a murderer.
"Who are you and why are you in my house?"
"I'm Mello. I'm your fairy godmother–"
"Father."
"Right. I'm here to grant your wish to go to the ball."
L blinked in confusion. "Will you grant my wish for some strawberry cake instead?"
"...No."
"Some fairy you are..."
Mello decided not to respond to that, and instead simply shrugged.
"Just go get one of whatever type of vegetable Misa's growing out back, about nine mice from the basement, and a rat from the attic. Oh, and get me some chocolate while you're at it."
L almost protested, but decided against it. The ball was likely to have some nice sweets and he might as well go. So he went to Misa's garden and grabbed a tomato, to the basement to retrieve nine mice (they had a mouse problem) and to his own bedroom to get a rat (he had been planning on throwing it in Misa's bed for all her whining last week. Revenge was so very very sweet.) Once he had everything, he went back to see Mello, who was poking around at the wand and mumbling something about that shade not matching his hair.
"What are you doing?" L asked, holding out all the requested animals and the desired vegetable.
"Designing the look you're going to wear to the ball. Go out and wait in the front yard. I'll be there in a minute."
It actually took ten minutes for Mello to finish. When he did, he used a couple waves of the wand to turn the tomato into a giant carriage, the nine mice into nine horses with beautiful blue ribbons in their manes, and the rat into a carriage driver guy. While L stared on in amazement, Mello drew a couple finishing touches to the outfit in his mind before zapping L. When the magical sparkles faded, L was in a giant dress with ribbons and lace and everything.
"...I'm not wearing a dress," L snarled, giving Mello a glare that would make a bear scream in terror.
"Oops...Wrong button..." Mello shrugged, shaking off a little stardust on the wand before trying again. The next try, L was wearing an elegant white suit with a nice black bow-tie. It overall looked very nice.
"...This thing is uncomfortable..." L muttered. Without letting Mello argue, he walked back into the house and in a minute or two came back wearing his usual white shirt and blue jeans with a triumphant grin on his face.
"...Well at least you'll stick out in all the groups of nicely dressed people," Mello sighed.
"Thank you, Mello."
"Can I at least fix your hair?"
"Not if you value living."
Mello pouted, but let it go. L looked odd enough to get the attention of the prince.
"Oh, and the magic wears off at midnight so leave by then or you'll have to walk. Considering you aren't wearing shoes or socks, that's probably not very good. I'm gonna go raid your kitchen of anything chocolate since SOMEONE neglected to bring me any. Good luck!"
And with that, the carriage driver got the horses started as Mello shoved L onto the carriage and went back to the house. L sat down, already imagining all of the desserts that the ball would have. There would be cake.
It took only about ten minutes to reach the castle. As Mello had predicted, once L had entered, everyone's gaze was on him. That included Prince Light. It didn't include L, who was staring at a delicious looking strawberry cake.
Prior to L's arrival, Light had been bored out of his mind. Every girl (and guy) in the kingdom was a complete idiot. They all acted the same, dressing and acting their best to impress him but still appearing stupid. Plus his dad kept dragging up every good-looking girl to make him dance with them. Thankfully, the king had started to lose hope and Light was allowed to just sit back and relax.
And he had just started that when every seemed to stop and stare towards the door at the latest arrival. He had messy black hair, a white shirt that looked too big on him, and baggy jeans. He was the only person in the entire building who didn't look their absolute best. And somehow, that interested Prince Light.
L immediately walked over to the cake table (thankfully he wasn't kicked out by Misa or Takada. They had both left to another hallway to discuss a plan to gain Light's attention. Everyone else had also gone back to whatever they had been doing before his arrival) and picked up a large slice of strawberry cake. After one bite, he decided that it wasn't sweet enough. Fortunately, he spotted a small bowl of sugar not too far away. That would do for now.
By the time Light got there, L had sprinkled the entire contents of the sugar bowl onto the cake and begun eating with a blissful look on his face. Light watched on in disgust, until the stranger finally noticed the stare and turned around.
"Can I help you?" L asked after swallowing the piece of cake in his mouth.
Light resisted the urge to ask how the hell he was able to swallow down all that sugar and not puke, and instead put on a bright smile.
"I want to dance with you." he stated, rather than asked. L gave him a stare blanker than a piece of paper, before replying,
"And I would like to eat cake. I find my desire to be more reasonable," he explained, shoving another piece of cake into his mouth. As Light simply stood there in shock of his denial. L was nearly done with his first piece of cake by the time Light spoke again..
"Listen, I am a PRINCE."
"I am aware. Does Prince Light-kun think I don't know the face of our kingdom's prince?"
"What I mean is that you can't deny a prince who wants to dance with you."
"I already did. Would Light-kun like me to refuse again?"
"I'll ask you nicely one more time..."
"Prince Light-kun didn't ask nicely to begin with."
"JUST DANCE WITH ME, DAMMIT!" Light finally snapped and yelled, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the room. The two geniuses stared at each other for a long moment, before L broke the silence.
"If I dance with Light-kun, will he control his temper and restrain himself from throwing me out of a nearby window?"
"Deal."
Which lead up to L and Light both dancing across the floor, L not really getting most of the moves and Light freaking out about trying not to step on L's toes, because he knew that stepping on the toes of someone who is both shoeless and sockless wasn't the best thing ever.
L managed to keep an eye on the clock the entire time and at about 11:45 he declared that he had to go.
"What? Why?" Light had whined.
"Because if I don't then my ride home will turn into a tomato, nine mice, and a rat," L explained on his way out the door, not even bothering to explain.
L arrived home by midnight, kicked Mello out of the house (since now the kitchen was lacking any sort of chocolate), and went to bed. He woke back up at three AM, just in time to deal with Misa and Takada's complaints about how the prince wouldn't dance or talk to anyone else after some strange person arrived.
"And it's weird because all the descriptions of the strange guy sounded exactly like you, Cinder-L-a!" Misa whined, glaring at him accusingly. L paid no attention to her and instead went to the kitchen to find a cookie or seven for breakfast.
Sadly, before L could retrieve his morning sugar intake, there was a loud knocking on the door followed by two loud whines from Misa and Takada for him to answer it. He sighed, but went anyway. They sure weren't going to answer it. Upon opening the door, he came face to face with none other than Prince Light.
There was another round of staring before Misa and Takada came down the stairs, wondering who it was. When they saw the prince there, they both shrieked with joy, pushing L aside and dragging a very confused Light off to the kitchen for tea.
"Actually, I came to talk to the guy who answered the door. I'm trying to find the guy I danced with at the ball yesterday so I'm going around town trying to find him," Light explained after everything had been set (as neither Misa nor Takada had listened to him while they had been making the tea and everything.)
"But Misa-Misa made L stay at home yesterday! He wouldn't have been at the ball! Why not just marry Misa-Misa? She's much prettier than L." Misa flitted her eyelashes in an attempt to act cute. At that moment, L walked in and resumed his search for some cookies. Light watched him over Misa's shoulder, ignoring the girl completely.
"Hey, L?" At the mention of his name , L turned towards the prince with a questioning stare. "Were you at the ball last night?"
"Yes, I was," L replied before continuing to scrounge around the cabinets. Misa and Takada stared on in shock while Light's mouth curled into a smirk.
"Well, would you like some cake?" Light offered, pulling out a slice of the strawberry cake from before, this one also coated in sweet sugar. L's face lit up and he nodded eagerly, walking over to snatch the cake from Light and happily shove some into his mouth.
"Yup. That's him," Light grinned.
"How do you know?" Takada questioned.
"Because every other guy I gave a slice of that cake to threw it up and complained that it was way too sweet." Misa and Takada stared at each other, both silently agreeing that he wasn't wrong on that.
His love found, Light proceeded to sweep L off his feet and carry him back to Light's carriage. They went back to Light's castle, got married, and ate the best wedding cake the world ever knew.
Misa cried herself to sleep every night since her true love decided to marry her stepson instead of her. Takada, however, got over and instead married the castle messenger, Mikami.
Mello rubbed his triumph in his rival (Near)'s face and took his best friend, Matt, out to a bar to celebrate.
And everyone (except for Misa) lived happily ever after.
A/N: Light always makes a good prince, L always makes a good princess, Misa always makes a good witch, and Mello always makes a good mystical creature. That's the way it works. Well, in my head at least.
Oh, and I only wrote three of these so far so if anyone has a suggestion, feel free to tell me or something.