Telma

Telma's House and Bar, Hyrule Castle Town

9:15 a.m.

28 days before Declaration

Telma walked down the hallway to Zelda's bedroom, a cup of hot tea in her hands as usual. She knocked on the closed door, and heard the princess beckon her in. The bartender entered the princess' room to find her signing papers at her desk; same as always.

"Your Highness, would you like some tea?"

The princess rubbed around her eyes, "Perhaps later, Telma. I am afraid now is not the best time."

Telma looked at the exhausted princess with great sympathy. There was no doubt in her mind that Zelda was under immense strain, especially now that the troops had returned. Despite the will-breaking pressure she had on her shoulders, the princess refused anyone's help; not even the comfort of some tea from a friend.

"Alright then. You sure there isn't anything I can do for you, honey?"

"I'm fine Telma!" Zelda snapped.

The bartender stared wide-eyed at the young lady at the desk. She had never seen her show any sign of honest emotion, let alone anger. The princess stared back at the large woman, completely ashamed of her lack of control.

"I-I am so sorry, Telma. That was completely unacceptable and it will never ha-"

Telma smiled and slowly shook her head, "I know you're stressed, honey. But you need to know that you have friends that want to help you. You just need to let us in."

Zelda smiled slightly, "Thank you, Telma…If you can, would you be willing to perform a special task for me, as a friend?"

Telma was puzzled, "What is it?"

"I have reason to believe that General Donphes has sent Captain Attics to spy on me."

"Wha? Why?"

"He believes that I am…incompetent."

Like a mother bear protecting her cub, Telma's blood began to boil. Who the hell was this old fart to say a thing like that? He deserved to be beaten to a pulp for calling her little princess incompetent!

"So," Telma said, as she dropped the teacup to crack her knuckles, "where can I find Donphes this time of day?"

Zelda quickly stood up, fearing that Telma had gone mad, "I do not want any harm to befall him, but thank you for your…concern. I would like you to keep an eye on Captain Attics, and see what he knows."

"Oh, alright." Telma said, slightly disappointed.

Telma's Bar
4:52 p.m.

Captain Attics was no stranger to the bar. In a few short days of his return to Hyrule, he had become one of Telma's more frequent customers. It seemed that he liked nothing more than to sit down, have at least four pints of ale, and leave the bar; sober as a nun.

Telma knew that in order to get him to talk, she may need to do more than just give him ale, she would have to resort to her secret weapon.

Just before five o'clock, the captain entered the bar. He had pulled his wild hair back into a ponytail, save for a few strands that hung in his face. The copper armor he had worn two days ago had been replaced by simple work clothes.

He did not hesitate to walk directly to the bar, "How 'bout an ale?" he said with a grin.

"Sure thing, sugar." Telma winked.

As Telma reached behind her for a glass, she stopped,

"What's that smell?"

Attics looked confused. He sniffed around, and curiously lifted an arm to investigate. In disgust, he said "That would be me. I've been sweating my ass off working on the reconstruction. Gotta make a living somehow right? Now where's that ale?"

Breathing from her mouth, Telma gave the soldier a pint. When he had finished with that, she gave him another, then another, and then another. After nine ales, the captain seemed to have trouble keeping his balance.

Telma thought now would be a good time to ask questions, "So honey, how you feelin'?"

Attics replied with a large belch.

"I thought so." Telma smiled, "So how's the building comin' along?"

"Wha-What buildin'?"

"The castle."

Attics chuckled, "How woul d'I know? Haven't been there much."

Telma stared at him, a puzzled look on her face "Didn't you say you've been working on the reconstruction?"

The captain chuckled again, "Pfffft. No. I can t'do a godsdamn thing with Donny boy makin' me scoop dirt on the—the…uhhh."

"Princess?"

Attics put a grimy finger to his lips, "Shhhh! It's top sthecret! I was runnin' along th'whole castle lookin' fer evid…Shhhh! I can't tell anybdy!"

Telma quietly thought to herself, Damn, I was so close! Oh well, looks like I have no choice but to use it.

Telma prepared herself for her ultimate tools of persuasion. She put her hands on the bar table, making sure that Attics had a clear view of her cleavage, "You can tell me, sugar."

The captain stared at the woman's bosom, "Uuuhhh…Hey, y'know what? Donny boy's gonna be here ta talk with me in a couple days, ifya wanna come."

Telma smiled, "Wouldn't miss it, honey."

-

Telma's Bar
9:26 p.m.
26 days before Declaration

As the drunken captain had stated, Donphes entered the bar two days later. He looked around in search of Attics, but could not find him. Not only that, he did not see the bartender either. Ignoring his curiosity, the general silently took a seat at the back of the bar.

After ten minutes had passed, Attics entered as well. He quickly found Donphes and walked to the back table.

"Did you order a drink?" Attics asked.

Donphes shook his head, "I did not find the bartender. Besides, this is not an appropriate time to drink. What have you found?"

Attics took a seat opposite of his friend, "Not much. If Zelda's responsible for the castle's destruction, nobody knows about it. Supposedly a great big barrier covered the castle for a while, and a giant eight legged monster with a spear destroyed it. Not soon after that the castle exploded, as if by bombs. Word is that there really was a large increase of monsters about a year and a half ago, but they've been slowly going down after the castle blew up."

"What about this Jovani fellow? Zelda stated that he is the sole contributor to the reconstruction fund. Did you manage to find him?"

"Yeah, and he's a nut-job. Says that ghosts came and took his soul in exchange for money, and a dog helped him get his soul back. I also learned that he had been dating my ex-wife, who apparently left me while I was away. I punched him in the face."

"I see. Good work." Donphes nodded, clearly ignoring the last remark. "Did you find anything out about this 'hero' Zelda mentioned?"

"What, you mean you haven't heard any rumors yourself? Everybody seems to know about this guy; Link, I think is his name. According to rumor he's been acting like a one-man army fighting off the monsters and saving people." Attics smiled, "Sounds like the kind of guy I'd want on my side in a fight."

"Yes, he does. Does anyone know where he is now, or where he came from?"

Attics shook his head, "If they do, they aren't talking. Last time anyone saw him, he was going to Hyrule Castle before the barrier broke."

Donphes remained silent for a moment, "What if the princess was inside the sealed castle."

The captain shrugged, "It would make sense, I guess. The ruler of the kingdom being held captive."

"If that is the case, then I find it incredibly unlikely that the hero would miss seeing Zelda. She said she never met the hero; she lied to us."

"So what do you plan to do about this Link guy?"

"Nothing. If he had planned to remain loyal to Zelda he would have stayed with her. That girl is our true enemy. She disgraces the power of the Royal Family, and should be punished for it."

The two men soon left the bar. As the entrance slammed shut, Telma came out from behind her hiding spot, and quickly ran upstairs to tell the princess what she had heard.