Rating: T/K+ for mild violence. If I'm rating it wrong, tell me or something so I can get it right for whatever other crap I may write.

Summary: Little Red Riding Hood, Death Note style. A child version of L gets delayed by Misa wolf on his way to Grandfather Watari's house. Woodsman Light and the Mello squirrel appear as well.

Spoilers: Mello and Matt show up. But that's pretty much it I think...

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I don't own Little Red Riding Hood either (I dunno who owns it.)

Warning: Childish and stupid humor and some OOCness

A/N: L is a kid in this one, just so you know. It was written to celebrate my first ever request for a story. Yay! Thanks to Whisper-Otonashi! And thanks to all you reviewer people! VIRTUAL HIGH FIVES! holds up a virtual hand

For those of you who gave me ideas, have no fear! They have been scribbled/typed down on my ideas list and I'll get to them soon enough. Rapunzel I can do, Beauty and the Beast I'll need to look up (cause I don't know much of the storyline), and I'm trying to cast The Little Mermaid (Mini-Disclaimer: I don't own any of those stories) I'm going to put a poll on my profile for you guys with accounts who read this to vote. So even if you don't want to review, please at least give me a vote!

Once upon a time there was a little boy named L. Some of the neighbors (who actually lived miles away because L lived in the middle of a FOREST and no one else really wanted to live that close to a bunch of trees and bears and wolves.) Who stopped by every couple of years or so would call L 'Little Red Riding Hood' because of the red hood he always wore. Honestly, he hated the damn thing but it was a gift from his grandfather, Watari, and it would disappoint the old man if L didn't wear it. And disappointing the only family member he had left was not the smartest of ideas. And L always had the smartest of ideas. Always.

But one day, poor Watari fell ill. Which left little L to retrieve medicine from the nearby town (if you can call ten miles on foot nearby) to help his old grandfather. The walk to the town wasn't particularly difficult, but the walk to Watari's house would be a little more dangerous. He'd lately heard of some wolf attacks in the area, so he would have to be careful not to stray from the path. It was a good thing L was a smart little boy and wouldn't be distracted.

So he packed a basket full of the medicine Watari needed (and a slice of delicious cake, a generous gift from little L) and walked out. (He's not a girl. He doesn't skip merrily down the lane.) It was the middle of the afternoon, but the trees let only spots of light to the floor.

"Someone should get an artist here. It looks so pretty," L mused.

Not too far away, there was a wolf staring at L and the basket he was holding. She licked her lips, wondering if there were any sweets in the basket and wondering what would be the easiest way to catch and eat the little boy. She came up with a plan quickly, and trotted out to speak to L.

"Hi there, little boy!" Misa wolf cheerfully greeted. "What do you have in the basket there?"

"Why should I tell you?" L asked. That pretty much ruined Misa's plan right there. But she wasn't giving up just yet.

"Misa-Misa is just curious. Can't she start a friendly conversation? WHY DON'T YOU LIKE MISA-MISA??" she bawled, crying her eyes out. Her acting lessons would surely pay off.

...Don't ask me where a wolf got acting lessons. I have no clue.

"...Misa-san is a wolf," L felt the need to state the obvious because it apparently wasn't getting through Misa's skull. "I don't believe it's smart to trust someone who likely wants to rip my flesh off my bones and eat me."

"ICE WITH THAT BURN?" yelled a nearby Mello squirrel.

...That was completely and totally necessary. I had to. Couldn't resist.

Misa...Well, she really did need some ice with that burn. She had nothing to reply to that. But she had to think of something...Something intelligent...

"WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO MISA?! You're not even giving me a chance!" she screeched.

It was a smarter plan than it may seem. Her high-pitched wails nearly bursted L's eardrums, and he tried to keep from strangling her right then and there.

"STOP THAT!" he finally snapped. "If I tell Misa-san where I am going will she cease her unnecessary shrieking?" Misa bounced and nodded yes, finally shutting up. L sighed, before continuing, "I am bringing medicine and cake to my sick grandfather at his home in the woods. Is Misa-san content now?"

She was, but only because she now had an even better idea. She remembered seeing a house in the woods, but the man inside had shots her away with a shotgun before she could eat him. If she could delay L, then she could eat up the sick old gentleman, dress in the old man's clothes (crossdressing!), and then eat L as well. Oh, and then eat the cake and sell the medicine on E-Bay.

"But it's such a nice day outside! Why not go smell the flowers and bring some back to your dear sick grandpa?" Misa suggested, holding down a devious smirk.

"Watari-san does not require flowers and it is imperative that I bring him the medicine as soon as possible," L stated emotionlessly, starting to walk past Misa. Out of fear that her plan would fail, Misa reacted quickly and did the first thing she thought of.

Smash L's head into a nearby tree, knocking him unconscious.

She stood there for a moment, dazed and surprised. "Why didn't I do that in the first place?" she wondered.

"Whoever said violence doesn't solve problems should be dragged out into the street and shot." Mello squirrel scoffed.

So with L delayed (and bleeding. And unconscious. And possibly with a minor concussion.), Misa snatched L's red riding hood and scampered off to Watari's home. Wearing the coat, she fooled Watari into thinking she was L (we don't know how that worked) and easily swallowed the old man whole. (Despite the fact that she's a wolf and not a snake...) Then she resumed her plan, changing from L's red riding hood into Watari's suit. (Egads, the logic holes! The logic in this story is like Swiss cheese!)

As Misa completed her task, there was a (pretty hot) woodsman out exploring the forest for good firewood. The last thing he expected to find was an unconscious kid in the middle of the forest. Guess who was really surprised? Woodsman Light was! Guess what he found? He found L, still unconscious on the forest floor! Wow! Who saw that coming? ("I DID!!" yells the Mello squirrel. But Mello squirrel should stay quiet because he's a squirrel and not really part of the story. Sad. Poor, poor Mello squirrel...)

Thankfully, Light had brought a canteen of cold water and his emergency first aid kit (because woodsmen never know when they might hurt themselves while swinging around a giant, heavy, sharp ax) and so he splashed the water on L's head, waking him up quickly. As he wrapped the first aid kit's bandages around the bleeding head wound, L explained what had happened. While Light had trouble believing that a wolf had actually smashed L's head into a tree, he believed it because there wasn't any other reason. L had hit his head way to hard to have just walked into the tree.

"Now I fear for Watari-san's health...Misa-san may have eaten him by now..." L mumbled, thinking as he crouched in his thinking position. Light sat down normally next to him, also trying to come up with a plan. It didn't take long. Two geniuses together usually creates a good plan pretty quickly. Their plan made, L lead the way over to Watari's house.

Just as Misa was beginning to lose patience (having slightly forgotten that she could have given L a concussion or worse, killed him), L walked in and simply stared at her.

"...Watari-san, you have been neglecting to shave your face. I believe your moustache has spread," was the first thing out of his mouth. Of course, he could already tell that it was the Misa wolf. This was all part of his plan. And, dare I say it, it was all going...

EXACTLY AS PLANNED!! (It's the Death Note equivalent of Naruto's 'Believe it!')

"Urm...Yes, I have," Misa replied, trying her best to imitate an old man's voice. "All the better to tickle you with." L had the 'WTF are you talking about?' look on his face, but continued anyway.

"I do believe your ears have grown as well," L commented, appearing as though he was measuring them in his head.

"All the better to hear you with!"

"Have you been experimenting with a new toothpaste brand, Watari-san? Your teeth have grown abnormally large..."

"All the better to eat you with!"

Misa leapt forward and swallowed poor little Red Riding L in one huge gulp. We seriously have no idea how she fit an entire old man and kid in her stomach. Or her throat. Or her mouth, for that matter. Again, story logic Swiss Cheese.

Full and content with her large meal (and forgetting the basket L had dropped by the door), Misa lay back on the bed and instantly fell fast asleep.

Once things had fallen silent, Light slowly peered through the bedroom door from the hallway and saw the giant wolf sleeping on the bed. His first thought was, 'Holy crap that kid really did get his head smashed into a tree by a wolf' His second was, 'Now's my chance!'

He slowly crept into the room and over to the sleeping wolf, pulling out his spare steak knife (because all woodsmen carry spare steak knives). At the bed, he carefully sliced Misa's stomach open and pulled out a very sticky and odd smelling Watari and L.

Despite being eaten, both Watari and L agreed that they shouldn't kill Misa. So using a spare needle thread they managed to sew her stomach back closed. (Here we go again with the logic flaws...) When she woke up, she was thankful and promised never to eat them again. So they released her into the woods. Watari and Light both moved in with L (deciding that L shouldn't live on his own and Watari would be safer there than in the middle of the forest in his old house.) They sold Watari's old house to a squirrel named Mello and his best squirrel friend Matt.

And they all lived happily ever after! The End.

A/N: My favorite line ever: "Whoever said violence doesn't solve problems should be dragged out into the street and shot."

Mello is a freaking GENIUS!