Rating: T for something or other. I'm lazy.

Summary: The Little Mermaid, Death Note style. L has become interested in the human world. Maybe a little too interested though, as he ends up in a more troublesome situation than he had expected.

Spoilers: None, really. (Aside from the appearance of Mello the Plot Fairy.)

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I don't own The Little Mermaid (I dunno who does...)

Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight, and plenty of OOCness

A/N: Yay! Another story! Here I am again! Uhhhh...Yeah, I got nothing to say. I like this one though. L got to be nice and evil.

And wanna know the number of hits for this thing?
It's over ONE THOUSAND!! ( Lol random joke)

Once upon a time... (No comment.)

There was a giant ocean. (Hey, we have one of those things here on planet Earth!) And deep below that ocean lived a grand kingdom of mermaids and mermen. They were all happy and peaceful in their underwater utopia and nothing ever went wrong. (Except for a couple sea raccoons in the sea trash.)

But one day, the king had a problem on his hands. His only son, a merman named L, had taken interest in the world of the people who live on land. Compared to their city, the land dwellers lived in a dump. Trash everywhere, cruel people, and their horrible fashion sense! Well, he would admit that L wasn't exactly the best dressed (unlike other mermen, he chose to wear a simple white long-sleeved shirt that didn't accent, match, or bring out the blue color in his tail) but nonetheless, he was upset that his son was so fascinated by creatures so disgusting.

He'd tried to solve the problem by having guards keep an eye on L and make sure he didn't swim up to the surface to stare at the nearby town and castle on the shore. That failed spectacularly as L easily outwitted the guards. (Really, he just told them to "Hey, look at that!" and then sped off while they looked for whatever it was they were supposed to look for.) His next plan was to lock L in his room. Unfortunately for the king, L had managed to lock pick the door and sneak out. He tried combining those two ideas, but that didn't work either. (He was starting to regret having such a genius son...)

Meanwhile, L had his own worries. Or, more specifically, worry. A certain land dweller had captured his interest. Every day this human would walk across the beach, the breeze blowing and blowing his just a bit. The sexy hair-blowing-in-the-breeze combined with his sexy walking posture and sexy-ness made him, overall, very sexy. From the one time where this human had brought another along with on his beach walk, L had learned that the object of his affection's name was Light.

So every day, L would swim up to the surface of the ocean and simply watch this Light walk across the beach. It was a relaxing pastime.

Or, at least, it was relaxing. Until one day when (the plot fairy decided to make things interesting) the tide rose up as Light was taking his daily stroll and easily swept away the shocked teen. L, also surprised at the sudden wave, ducked underwater and looked around. He found Light a little ways away, knocked unconscious from the blow (coughpansycough).

L considered the boy lucky to have had a merman nearby to help and swam over, grabbing onto Light's leg and proceeding to drag him back to the shore. When the teen was back on the sand, L finally let out a sigh of relief (slightly tired from having to drag someone onto the shore without using any legs) when he suddenly heard a mysterious voice behind him.

"Now sing a song, and then when he starts to come to in a very sexy and dramatic fashion, make a run for it," the plot fairy Mello whispered into L's ear. That comment earned him an extremely cold 'are you effing insane?' glare.

"It's in the script. Sing or I gouge your eye out with a spork." And with that threat, Mello pulled and spork out of his pocket and his face lit up with an evil smirk.

Mildly frightened, L gave in and began singing the first song that came to mind. Looking back, he would always wish he had sung something, anything, besides Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. But nonetheless, it did the trick. And just as Light's eyes started to flutter open (as Mello had predicted, it was a very sexy and dramatic waking-up) L turned and dove back into the ocean so that all Light saw was the end of a white shirt and a blue tail that looked very similar to the mermaid and merman tails from the fantasy books in the castle library..

Light was a prince, but no one believed him when he tried to explain that he'd been saved by a mermaid. ("Mermaids? No! That's about as likely as Light turning out to be a psychotic murderer!") Despite everyone's protests against it being a mermaid/merman, Light didn't listen and still thought his savior had been a mermaid or merman. So every day when he walked by the beach, he would watch the sea waves for any sign of the one who had saved him that day.

Which only made matters more difficult for L, who had to now stay a farther distance away and take short peeks so as not to be spotted. While he waited for Light's attention to waver, he kept cursing that plot fairy for making that horrible wave that caused this situation. Said plot fairy snickered and said that this whole disconnected love thing was freaking adorable and that fangirls would eat it up.

Then one day, L finally got fed up with watching Light constantly walk and stare at the ocean for him. But since he didn't want to go up and end up on the shore without being able to walk (sure Light might be thankful enough to sweep him off his feet/fin, but if they started dating or something L would be a little stuck when it came to getting around), he decided to visit the sea witch, Misa.

"WAIT!" she yelled as the little door bell rang. "I need to find a dress to wear!" L blinked, a little surprised. It was already ten AM, so either she'd woken up late or she'd taken a while to get ready for the day. It was a good thing make-up washed off in water and no one wore it here, or else he'd be stuck outside for a very very very very very very very VERY long time. Thankfully, it was only about ten minutes before Misa opened the door. But unfortunately, her smile turned into more of a glare when she saw who was knocking at her door.

Needless to say, Misa wasn't happy at L's arrival. She had had her eyes on Prince Light as well, and L's desire for land-people legs made her more furious. She knew that Light would recognize L's voice (she had laughed when L sang, but now that Light was so thankful she was beginning to be jealous) and so wanted to keep Light from marrying L. Then, an idea popped into her evil little head.

"Okay, I can grant your request." L was already suspicious of her tone (it was strangely evil today...), but he nodded since he wanted to be able to go see Light without having to be at a far away rock. "But in return, I need to take your voice." A strange request. L understood what she was planning. She knew Light would have recognized his voice. However, L had a plan of his own waiting, and he immediately nodded in approval.

"That is absolutely fine by me. Just grant my request." Misa seemed a little surprised at how easily he accepted, but nevertheless, cast her spell. L's voice (that, oddly enough, glowed a very pretty blue color for some reason) floated out of his throat and into a little shell necklace that Misa had pulled out of a drawer. (I'm jealous. I wish I could do that.) Once her price had been claimed, Misa smirked and waved him off. In an instant, L was teleported to the shore, just a little ways behind Light, and sitting on his butt. In front of him he could see that he now had two human legs that were covered in the human cloth that we would call a pair of blue jeans. He coughed a bit, the feeling of not having his voice being a little funky. Light heard this and turned around with a surprised look on his face.

"Who are you?" L tried to answer, before bitterly remembering that the sea witch had taken his voice. Inner cursing proceeded. Thankfully, Light noticed the failed attempted and put the puzzle pieces together.

"Can you not speak or something?" he asked. L nodded his head in response, shakily trying to get to his feet. It wasn't as easy as it looked, but thankfully Light managed to snag his wrist and hold him up before he fell back down on his rump. (Misa was fuming out in the ocean at all the attention the prince was giving L.)

"What's wrong with you? Did you just wake up from the dead or something?" That earned Light a good glare, similar to the one Mello got before. Thankfully, the prince took the hint and shuffled a couple steps back. Sadly, after being held up for just that bit and getting quickly used to standing, L was already feeling more balanced and he took the opportunity to kick Light in the shins.

"Ow..." Light whined. "I was just joking...Uh...Do you have a name or anything?" L blinked at the sudden question, and in response he held up a hand with the thumb and pointer finger sticking out in an 'L' shape. Light stared in shock for a moment, 'L' being a very odd name for someone. But when he asked if his name was L, L had confirmed that as strange as it was, it was his name

So even though he was very confused and his shins now hurt, Light decided to bring his newfound friend back to the castle with him. For some reason (maybe it was the whole beach connection), L reminded him of that time when he'd gotten washed away from the ocean. But he remembered hearing singing, and yet L had no voice. His parents had been baffled when their son brought home some random stranger he'd found on the shore, but they approved of his friend because hey, a friend was a friend.

And Light and L got along well (when they weren't arguing, though arguments were rather one-sided as Light was the only one who could talk and L usually decided to just give up on writing out everything and kick Light in the shin instead) and they were the best of friends.

Until one day, King Yagami brought a young girl up to Light's room and introduced her as Misa. He explained that she had come to the castle and asked for Light. Light nodded his okay (since his father was still standing there to make sure his son didn't fight with L or anything), and gave the girl a warm smile and greeting.

"Prince Light! How nice to see you again!" Misa screeched, though it was in L's voice. Both Light and L stared for a bit (L because he recognized his own voice and the shell necklace around Misa's neck, and Light because damn that was a masculine voice for a girl) before Light decided to break the silence (since L couldn't.)

"Again? Where have I met you before?" he asked, though already beginning to recognize the voice.

"Remember? I saved you before when that wave came?" If L could have strangled her to death and gotten away with it, he would have. Light probably would have helped. But his father beamed, remembering when his son had come home drenched. He then declared that as thanks, Light should marry her. (Because that's the way to thank anybody for anything around here. I'm shocked I didn't marry Little Red riding L and the Woodsman Light...)

L held a cup of tea out to Light, who took it with a thanks. Then Light drank a little tea, and quickly spat it out into Misa's face before turning to his father with a loud, "WHAAAAAAAAAAATTT??"

But his father had decided, and so the marriage was set to be the next day, since the bride was horribly impatient.

Everything was set up (They'd let L be the ring bearer) and everyone was getting dressed. L was sitting in Light's room while the tailors fitted his suit for one last time, when he grabbed a piece of paper and started scribbling out a note. Light watched, and then read when L held it up.

'Will Prince Light-kun do me a favor before he is married?' it read. Light nodded a yes, and L wrote down something else. 'At the alter, please crush the shell necklace that Misa is wearing.' Light immediately agreed. He hated the thing anyway. It was so hideous.

So the wedding went as planned. Light and Misa were at the alter giving 'I do's and L was not far away, waiting for the moment to come. Finally, when the priest announced that Light may 'kiss the bride', Light instead reached forward, grabbed the shell necklace around Misa's neck, and easily crushed it in his palm. Misa gasped, and everyone watched L's voice (still glowing blue) float back into L's throat. L smirked, and got up to walk over to Misa.

"You lose," he announced. And then he did what anyone else would do in his situation.

He kicked Misa in the shins.

Epilogue:

Now that Light recognized that L was the one who'd saved him, the marriage was re-planned so that Light and L could wed. A very dejected Misa was sent back to the ocean to live in her witch-cave.

And for some strange reason, as she went to bed each night, she heard someone, a fairy perhaps, whisper right into her ear:

"Ice with that burn?"

A/N: The Mello plot-fairy can't resist the opportunity for an 'ice with that burn' comment. It's just perfect. It's his equivalent of Kira's 'Exactly as planned' which is trhe equivalent of Naruto's 'Believe it!'

I liked having L kick people in the shins. It's fun. L just makes a great villain, you know?