A/N: Alright so here's the final chapter of The Mess We've Made. I've enjoyed writing this. Thank you to all those that reviewed during my writing it, you're the ones that kept me thinking that I wasn't crazy for trying this. If you want to see what Rachel looks like in my mind, there's a link on profile, as well as ones that let you know what the dress she wears looks like and the ring that she wears after her Phil got married.
Chapter Four: Found and Wedding Dash
"Are you guys okay," Stu asked. They all noticed that Angelic was completely unconscious. Phil put his hand behind her head to see if she was bleeding, thankfully she wasn't and she had just been knocked unconscious.
"What the fuck," Phil muttered. The doors of the black SUV flew open a three guys got out.
"I know that guy," Alan mumbled, "That's the guy from the trunk."
"Get out of the car," said the short Asian Man, "Please."
"W—w—wait those are the guys that shot Eddie," Stu stammered. The Asian man said something in a different language and then clapped his hand, the large of his two accomplices then walked over to the car and dragged Phil out of the car. The shorter one then dragged Stu and then lastly Alan. They left Angelica in the car, since she was completely unconscious and would be of no use to them at that moment.
"I want my purse back," said the man, "Assholes."
"What? Your purse," Phil asked.
"It's not a purse, it's a satchel," snapped Alan.
"It's a purse. Okay? And you steal from wrong guy," snapped the man.
"Wait a second, wait a second," Phil said, holding the side that the SUV slammed into, "We stole from you?"
"Okay, you know what," Stu asked, "We don't remember anything that happened last night. Sp help us out a little here."
"Well apparently," explained the guy that was standing by the short Asian Man, "You guys met at a craps table late last night. You were on a heater and he played your hot streak. He ended up winning just under 80 grand."
"No shit," asked Phil, "Eighty grand is nice."
"Okay, that's good," Stu said.
"He put the chips in his purse," the guy continued, "And then you guys took off with it."
"That doesn't sound like us," Stu said.
"Mine had 80,000 dollar inside. And this one," asked the small man, "Nothing." He stomped on the bag, crushing whatever was in there.
"Hey," Alan yelled, "There are skittles in there." The shorter bodyguard punched Alan as he advanced on the small Asian man.
"Ow," Alan yelped, "Oh, not again." The small Asian man laughed at Alan's pain.
"Don't let the beard fool you," Stu yelled, "He's a child."
"It's funny," the small man laughed, "because he's fat."
"Now, look, this was obviously a very simple misunderstanding," Stu explained, "Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal."
"Okay, if it's, "No big deal," why, when I come after you guys, he," the small man, paused to point at Phil, "starts screaming like crazy and throw me in trunk?"
"What," Phil aksed, "I did that?"
"Yeah, you said he was your lucky charm, and you want to take him home with you," the smaller bodyguard explained. Phil and Stu begin to laugh. In the car Angelica groans. But does not wake up, the pain she was in overcomes her will to wake.
"Lucky charm," Stu jokes.
"Oh, it's just funny," Phil added. The small Asian joins in.
"Fuck you," he swears. Stu and Phil immediately stop laughing.
"If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand," the small man explains.
"What," Stu snaps.
"Our friend," asks Phil.
"You have Doug," Stu asks.
"You know about our friend," Phil snaps. The larger bodyguard standing by the large SUV slams on the trunk. It was then that the men notice the man that is sitting in the backseat with a bag over his head. He flinches at the sound of the banging.
"Doug," Stu and Phil yell. They make to get him out, Phil gets extremely angry and goes to fight the large of the two bodyguards to get Doug out o the car. The large bodyguard pushes him towards Stu and Alan. Phil seeing that it's no use fighting them to get Doug back.
"Okay, okay," Phil says calmly, "All right, fine, fine."
"What do you want," Stu asks.
"No so good now," the small man explains, "Quid pro quo, douche bag."
"What," Stu asks.
"Look, we're very sorry. But this is an easy fix," Phil explains, "Alan, where's the purse?"
"I don't know," Alan asks.
"It's in the hotel room, right," Stu asks.
"Yeah, we can get it."
"We can get you the—we can even write you a check right now," Stu says.
"No chance," the man yells, "Cash only."
"There's a person in there," Stu snaps.
"Boring," the small man yawns, "Take nap. Come on."
"Wait. I'm sorry we're boring you," Stu says, clearly upset.
"Doug, it's okay," Phil says, hoping that these words give Doug some encouragement.
"You kidnapped out friend! Kidnapper," Stu continued to yell.
"Wait," Phil yells.
"Oh, no. You're not going anywhere," Stu complains. Stu and Phil try and stop the car from leaving.
"Run me over," Stu threatens. The car goes to run him over, but he quickly moves out of the way.
"Stu, Stu, Stu," Phil calls, as he rushes to the other side of the car.
"Bring money to Big Rock in Mojave Desert at Dawn," the small man tells the pair.
"What," Phil yells.
"Toodle-oo, motherfucker," the small man dismisses.
"Well, at least take the bag off his head," Phil yells.
"Fuck!"
When Angelica regains consciousness, she sees Phil sitting beside her in his black suit again. She looks at sleepily and with a massive headache.
"Where are we," she asks, looking around. The last thing she remembers was this huge black SUV slamming into them and everything after that just went blank.
"We're back in the hotel," he explained, "We found Doug." Angelica went to sit up and then she became really dizzy. Phil pushed her back down.
"You slammed your head against the window really hard," he said." She grabbed her forehead, closing her eyes.
"Where's Doug," she asked.
"Well, you see," he paused, scratching his head, "you see…" Angelica cracked an eye open.
"Phil," she warned.
"He was kidnapped. Apparently Alan," Phil started.
"Of course," she whispered, "It all comes down to Alan."
"Mixed up his purse with someone else's and that one had just over 80 grand in it," Phil said, rubbing the back of his neck.
"So, just switch them," Angelica said.
"Alan has no idea where he put it," Phil said. Angelica groaned.
"Doug is going to die and Tracy's going to hate me," she began to get hysterical.
"No," he said, grabbing her hand, "We're gonna replace the 80 grand, and get it to this guy before dawn."
"And how pray tell, are we going to do that," she asked.
"Counting cards," Phil explained.
"We're going to jail," Angelica whispered, before slowly sitting up, "I'll be ready in a couple of minutes." She grabbed her dress off of the floor and walked into her room. Phil watched her, before standing, and walking over to Alan.
"I swear dude, if you fail," he growled, "I will never forgive you for us losing Doug and hurting Angelica."
Phil, Alan and Angelica entered the casino on the elevators. They were going to get Doug back, if it was the last thing they did. They needed to get him home to Pasadena for his wedding. Slowly they walked towards a blackjack table and Alan watched it for a few moments very carefully, before he sat down and set Stu's ten thousand dollars on the table.
"Change only. Ten thousand," called the dealer. He sat the chips in front of Alan, while Stu and Jade came from the other end of the casino.
"Hey, uh, these seats taken," asked Stu.
"No, feel free," the dealer said. Jade and Stu quickly sat down and they started the game.
"All right," Stu called, "Let's play some blackjack!" In the following moments, there were cheers and groans, insults thrown, but Alan seemed unfazed by it all. He would signal to Stu and Jade, telling them to fold or stay with subtle, every day movements, while Phil and Angelica kept the cameras on them, by hollering, screaming or making out every time Alan won a hand, which was often.
"Okay, come on," Phil called, "He can't lose. He can't lose." It was then that Jade noticed two men talking not far from the table. They were staring at Alan.
"I think the pit boss is watching him," Jade whispered in Stu's ear. Phil and Angelica continued their antics. Jade was watching the pair very closely. She noticed that one of them was making his way towards Alan, Angelica and Alan. She soon began to laugh hysterically and she toppled off of her seat, causing the man to redirect himself towards her.
"Oh, my God," Stu said, leaning over her. Angelica saw what had happened, grabbed Phil by the hand and tapped her finger on Alan's shoulder. She quickly indicated that Jade had fallen. It was time for them to get out of there.
"Are you okay," the gentleman asked.
"I'm such a klutz,' Jade explained, "I get so nervous when I gamble. I'm so silly."
"It happens," the man said, going to help her up.
"Whoa," Stu stalled, "Hold on a beat, okay? Let's just take it easy. This is my wife."
"It's hurting," Jade groaned.
"Make sure—Does it hurt? Does this hurt," he asked. Jade continued to groan, pretending she was in pain.
"You all right," Stu asked.
"I don't know," Jade replied.
"I don't know either." Stu quickly glanced towards Alan seat. It was when he saw that he was gone that he told Jade that he was sure she was fine and she continued to stand.
"I'm sorry, she's had a little too much to drink," Stu explained to the gentleman, "Thanks buddy. That's for you." He threw the dealer a chip, grabbed his and Jade's drinks and they walked away quickly.
The foursome made their way to Majove Desert. Angelica was in the front seat, beside Phil, counting the money.
"And 100, 200, 300, 400. With all this, that's $82,400," she told the guys. Phil pumped his fist.
"Oh, goddamn it. I don't fucking believe it," Phil said. Stu yelled his excitement, while Angelica just smiled. Her brother was going home and just in time for his wedding.
"Alan, you're the man," Phil congratulated.
"You are too, Phil."
"We should come back next week," Phil said, causing Angelica to look at him, "take the whole city down."
"Oh, I'm free next week," Alan said. Angelica shook her head. Her, she was going to sleep for a week, after the wedding.
"Or we could just focus on getting Doug back, right now," Stu said, steering the conversation back to the reason, why they were driving into the middle of the desert to meet a group of gangsters.
"Uh, you know what? Next week's no good, the Jonas Brothers are in town," Alan said, "But any week after that is totally fine."
"I think it's safe to say," Phil said, grabbing Angelica's hand with his and kissing it, "that our luck has officially turned around, guys. We are back, baby. We are fucking back."
"We're back," Stu smiled, "Classic." He then continued to sing the words, we are back.
"That's right," Ang agreed, but something in the pit of her stomach was telling her that their luck was about to run out.
"We are getting Doug back," Stu sang.
"And we're the four best friends that anybody could have. We're the four best friends that anyone could have. We're the three best friends that anyone can have," Alan sang, causing Stu, Angelica and Phil to exchange looks, "And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever leave each other." Alan continued to sing his song, causing the others to slowly pull their hair out.
Phil pulled in front of the black SUV and the foursome waited silently. It looks like nobody wanted to get out first.
"Now what," Phil asked.
"Give him the signal," instructed Alan.
"What signal," Angelica asked.
"Flash your light. Let him know it's on," Alan explained.
"What's on," asked Phil.
"The deal."
"Of course it's on," Angelica said, "We just drove 30 miles into the desert. He knows it's on."
"Ang, just do something," Stu snapped. Angelica leaned over and flashed the headlights of the busted Mercedes. To her, Phil and Stu's surprise the doors of the SUV.
"Oh shit," Phil whispered.
"You see," Alan asked.
"All right, let's go." The foursome got out of the car and stood across from the three gangsters. Alan fell out of the car, causing the small Asian man to start laughing.
"Funny fat guy fall on face," he joked.
"You okay," Stu asked.
"All right, we got the money. Eighty grand, cash," Phil said, as he stood in front of Angelica slightly.
"Throw it over," ordered the small man, "Then I give you Doug."
"Um, I'm sorry. First of all, good morning," Stu started, "And we didn't catch your name last night."
"Mr. Chow," the man answered, "Leslie Chow."
"Mr. Chow," Stu began, "it is a pleasure. My name is Stu. And we would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug before we give you the money, just to verify that he's okay." Angelica nodded. She wanted to know that nothing was wrong with her brother.
"If that's cool," Stu asked.
"Of course, Stu," said the small man, as he removed his aviators, "That is cool." He then repeated what he had said earlier last night. The larger bodyguard then reached into the black SUV, and pulled Doug out from the SUV.
"Oh, thank God," Angelica whispered.
"See, he fine. Now give me money, or I shoot him, then I torture and shoot the girl," said Chow, causing Phil to stand in front of Angelica even more, "and after I make you watch, I shoot all you motherfuckers and then we take it. Your choice, bitches."
"Give him the money, Stu," Angelica ordered.
"Okay." Stu threw it across to Chow and his smaller bodyguard. Chow squealed, but the man caught it, opened the bag and began to count the cash that was in there.
"It's all there."
"Let him go," Chow ordered. The larger bodyguard walked Doug, over to the foursome.
"All right," Phil said, "Take it easy. Take it easy." The large bodyguard then pulled the bag off Doug's head, but what was underneath that bag was definitely not Doug.
"Ta-da," Chow said. Angelica jumped back. That was not her twin brother.
"Is this some kind of joke," Phil asked, "Who the hell is this?"
"That is not Doug," Stu shouted.
"What are you talking about, Willis," chow asked, "That him.
"No, I'm sorry, Mr. Chow," Stu started, "That's not our friend. He's—that's—"
"The Doug we're looking for is a white," Alan finished. The bodyguard then pulled the duct tape off of the man's mouth, causing him to shout in pain.
"I told you, you had the wrong guy, little boy," the man shouted at Chow, "Damn, Alan, what the fuck you got me into?"
"You know him," Phil asked.
"This is the guy that sold me the bad drugs," Alan explained, "How you doing?" The man looked at him weirdly.
"I didn't sell you no fucking bad drugs," the man shouted. Phil and Angelica began to get extremely frustrated with the entire situation.
"Wait," Angelica said, "He sold you the Ruphylin?"
"Ruphylin," asked the man, "I sold you that Ru-? What-?"
"Who gives a shit," Phil yelled, "Where is Doug?"
"I am Doug," the man shouted.
"Your name's Doug," Alan asked.
"Yes, I'm Doug."
"His name's Doug too. Ha. Classic mix-up," Alan joked.
"Come on," Chow called to his people.
"Hey, Chow," Angelica shouted, "You gave us the wrong Doug."
"Not my problem," he countered.
"No, fuck that shit," she shouted back, causing Phil, Stu and Alan to look at her with wide eyes, "No, you give us our 80 grand back and take him with you!"
"No. Come on. I'll be your Doug," Doug tried to reason.
"Oh, yeah, okay. Oh, I take him back. Uh, right after you sick on these little Chinese nuts," Chow instructed. Angelica velt bile rise in her throat.
"Ah," Doug flinched, "That's nasty."
"Mmm. How that sound," Chow asked, miming a blow job with his hand, "So long, gay boys and biatch."
"Wait a second," Phil shouted.
"He's a nasty little motherfucker," Doug muttered.
"Did you ever get any ecstasy," Alan asked.
"No, I ain't got no fucking ecstasy." Angelica fell to the ground at the moment and dissolved into tears. She was supposed to watch Alan and make sure the night went smoothly and instead they lost Doug and his wedding was in only a few hours.
"Goddamn it," Phil swore.
"Gosh darn it," Alan said.
"Shit," Phil shouted again, kicking the dirt.
"Shoot."
Phil dialled his phone. It was time they called Tracy and let her know, that they had lost Doug and with his wedding in only a few hours, there was no way they would be able to find him and make it back in time.
"Hello?"
"Ahem, Tracy, it's Phil."
"Phil, where the hell are you guys? Ang, said you'd be home by now and I'm freaking out."
"Yeah, listen—"
Stu, Angelica and Alan stood by the car, while Doug emptied his bladder.
"We fucked up," they heard Stu say.
"Thanks for the lift back to town," Doug said, when he was finished. Angelica nodded and looked away. She was so upset right now.
"I got a question for you," Stu said.
"What's up?"
"How did you wind up in Chow's car," Stu asked.
"That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday," Doug explained.
"Okay, but why," Stu asked, "I mean, why you?"
"Because he thought I was with you guys because we were hanging over at the Bellagio," Doug explained further.
"What," Stu asked.
"We were at the Bellagio," Angelica asked.
"Yeah, we were shooting craps. You don't remember?"
"No," Angelica snapped, "No, we don't remember. Because some dick drug dealer sold him Ruphylin and told him it was ecstasy."
"Ruphylin," Doug said, "There you go with that word. Ruphylin. What the hell is a Ruphylin?"
"Wow," Angelica said amazed, "You are the world's shittiest drug dealer. Ruphylin, for your information, is the date-rape drug. You sold Alan ruphies."
"Oh, shit," Doug swore, "I must have mixed up the bags. My fault, Alan. Damn, Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one."
"Whatever," Angelica dismissed.
"It's funny, because just the other day me and my boy, we was wondering why they even call them ruphies," he explained, "You know what I'm talking about?"
"No," Angelica replied, "Don't know what you're talking about."
"Why not floories, right," Doug asked, "Because when you take them, you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. What about groundies? That's a good new name for them."
"Or how about rapies," Alan supplied. It was then that something lit up in Stu's eyes.
"Wait, what did you just say," Stu asked.
"Rapies," Alan answered.
"Not you. Doug, what did you say before?"
"I said groundies," Doug repeated.
"No, before that," Stu explained, "You said, 'You're more likely to wind up on the floor than…" It was then that it dawned on Stu. He ran over to Phil, tackling him to the ground, knocking his cell out of his hand.
"Phil? Hello?"
"Tracy, it's Stu."
"Stu. Talk to me. What's going on?"
"Uh, nothing. Don't listen to Phil. He's completely out of his mind. He's probably still drunk from last night."
"Where's Doug?"
"He is paying the bill. We just had a delicious brunch and we're in hurry to get back, so we gotta get going. Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye"
"Stu."
"What the fuck, man," Phil asked.
"I know where Doug is," Stu shouted. Phil stopped and looked at him.
Angelica was driving quickly in their rush to get back to the hotel, but some of the occupants of the car still needed Stu to explain, how he had figured out where Doug is.
"I don't know, man. It just hit me," he explained, "You remember when we saw Doug's mattress impaled on that statue?"
"Yeah, we threw it out the window," Phil shrugged.
"No, impossible," Angelica said, "You can't open windows in Vegas hotels."
"Well then how did it get-? Oh my god," Phil shouted. Angelica and Stu laughed.
"Whoa, wait," Alan asked, "What's going on?"
"Doug was trying to signal someone," Stu explained.
"Holy shit," Phil swore.
"Yes."
"Wait. How did you figure that out," Phil asked.
"Doug made me realize it," Stu explained.
"Doug," Angelica asked.
"Uh, not our Doug. Black Doug."
"Hey, hey, easy with that shit," Doug said, "Come on."
"Sorry," Stu apologized.
"Can someone tell me where white Doug is," asked Alan.
"He's on the roof, Alan," Angelica explained.
"Yes," Stu agreed, "He's on the roof. We must have taken him up there on his mattress as a prank, so he'd wake up on the roof."
"It's like that time in summer camp," Phil reminisced, "We moved his sleeping bag out in the jetty at the lake?" Stu, Phil and Ang laughed. It had been a co-ed camp, so the next morning after they did that Doug had decided to sit with her and her friends.
"Which was hilarious," Stu said, "It's not so funny now, though, because we forgot where we put him."
"You guys are fucking retarded," Doug stated, "You know that?'
"Holy shit," Phil swore, "You think he's still up there?"
"There's only one way to find out," Angelica said, as she pressed down on the gas pedal even more.
Alan, Stu, Phil and Angelica burst through the roof door, calling Doug's name. They searched the rooftop frantically, looking everywhere for him.
"Doug, you up here bro," Angelica called.
"Where you at Doug," Phil asked. They continued to call his name, until Angelica saw a figure partially in the shade. She ran over to him.
"Hey guys," she called, "He's over here!" She ran over to him, landing on her knees beside him. She smiled and checked him over.
"He's okay," she screamed, "You're okay!" She began to laugh, while Doug stared at her like he was hallucinating.
"Oh, God. We gotta go, bro. Come on," Angelica said, helping her twin brother to her feet.
"Oh, we have been looking everywhere for you," Stu said, as helped her help Doug.
"What the fuck is going on," Doug asked.
"We can explain everything, but right now we gotta go," Stu gasped.
"Hey, bud," Phil greeted, "You okay?"
"No," Doug answered, "Not okay."
"You look good," Phil complimented, "You got some colour. I'm jealous."
"I'm getting married today," Doug stated.
"Yes, you are," Phil assured, "That's why you need to focus and do everything we say. Because, frankly," he paused to look at his watch, "You're wasting a little bit of time right not."
"You fucking asshole," Doug screamed, before tackling him. Angelica's eyes went wide, as she watched the pair fall to the ground. Doug began to whimper, because he was so sun burnt. Alan went to assure him that it wasn't his fault only for his hands to be slapped away.
"Don't touch me," Doug snapped, "Shut up. All of you, shut up. Just get me home." Angelica nodded. She ran back into the hotel and down into the lobby so that she could get him a wheelchair and some water. As she did however, her ring caught the light.
"Did my sister get married," Doug asked, hoping that he actually hallucinated that.
"Uh," Phil said, "Promise you won't get angry.' Doug glared at him.
"Phil married your sister," Alan blabbed. Phil looked Alan with wide eyes and then he looked at Doug.
"I'm going to have to ask for a rain check on kicking your ass right now," Doug whispered. Phil nodded. Angelica came running back up the stairs in her maid of honour dress with the wheelchair and a couple bottles of water for Doug. The guys helped Doug into the wheelchair and they made their way back to the lobby.
"What about the one after that," Stu asked. He was on his cell phone trying to get the fivesome a flight back to Pasadena as quickly as possible, so they could make the wedding on time.
"You cannot be serious," Stu yelled, "Oh goddamn it."
"What," Angelica asked, as she pushed Doug towards the car.
"Every flight to LA is booked."
"What about into Burbank," Phil asked.
"Totally sold out."
"Oh, fuck! We can't drive there, the wedding starts in three and a half hours," Angelica shouted, she was already dressed and ready to go, but the guys needed their suits and to get themselves cleaned-up.
"Alan, where's the car," Phil shouted.
"It's on its way," Alan answered.
"You know what," Stu said, "We can drive there. We can make it. Okay?" It was then that he spotted Jade, sitting on a bench not far from the hotel.
"Hi," she mouthed.
"Just give me one second," he said to the other four. Angelica smiled and nodded.
"We will leave without you," Phil said, as he wrapped an arm around Angelica. Doug flinched at the sight. He didn't want to admit they were perfect for each other, especially after what happened five years ago, but he could see Angie was happy and that was all that mattered, until he could kick Phil's ass.
"Is he missing a tooth," Doug asked.
"Yeah," Alan laughed.
"Hey," Stu greeted.
"Hey."
"Hey, thanks for helping out last night. That was so awesome."
"Sure."
"Listen, Jade, I—"
"Look, you don't have to say it," Jade interrupted, "I totally understand. This whole thing was stupid."
"Huh. It was stupid, wasn't it?" The pair smiled at one another. In the distance, Phil and Angelica are helping Doug into the back seat, while Alan tries to put the cover down. Jade pulls the ring off her finger and hands it to Stu.
"This is yours."
"Oh, thank you," Stu says, as he takes it, "I can't believe I gave my grandmother's Holocaust ring to someone I just met. What was I thinking?"
"You were really fucked up," Jade explains.
"Clearly."
"You did pull out your own tooth," Jade reveals.
"I-? I pulled out my tooth? Why did I pull out my own tooth?"
"Alan bet you," Jade explains, "that you weren't a good enough dentist to pull out your own tooth."
"Okay. Heh. Of course he did."
"You won."
"Yeah. Clearly, yeah. That's victory, right there."
"It needs to go down," Alan complained, as he pushed the cover of the beaten up Mercedes down. Phil shook his head, as he held the door open for Angelica to get in and gather her dress.
"It's good," Phil said, "Get in." He walked around to the front passenger seat and went to get in.
"No," Alan said, safety first.
"Alan," Angelica called, "It's fine. It's down."
"No," Alan explained, " I gotta get it down first."
"Jesus Christ," Phil complained, "Look out." He jumped up and down on the cover securing it in place.
"Don't mess the car up," Alan complained, "You're gonna mess the car up.". Angelica rolled her eyes, a crushed car cover was the least of their problems when it came to this car.
Stu turned back to Jade, after watching Phil and Alan argue about the car roof.
"Hey, what are you doing next weekend," Stu asked.
"I don't know," Jade answered, "Working. Why?"
"I was thinking maybe I'd come back and take you out to dinner or something."
"Really? Like a date?'
"Yeah. Like a date. Only, one that hopefully I'll remember." He laughed, Jade soon joined in.
"Sounds good," she agreed.
Phil stood and taped on the windshield. Angelica looked in the backseat to see Alan sitting on the car roof, and Doug looking delirious. She looked around for her purse and dug it out from under the seat. She fiddled through it and found a couple of aspirins.
"Here," she said handing them to her brother with a smile. He returned it and swallowed them.
"Stu," Phil called, "Come on." Alan mimicked him soon after. Phil looked at Angelica and she just shrugged and smiled.
"I gotta go,' Stu said, turning back to Jade, "Okay. Bye." He gave her a hug, and she laughed.
"Bye."
"Bye."
"All right," Angelica said, turning on the car, "Here we go."
Angelica sped down the highway as fast as the car would take them. She needed to get her brother to Pasadena as quickly as possible and if she could do it in record time, even better.
"At least the trip wasn't a total disaster," Doug began.
"What makes you say that," Alan asked, looking at him.
"When I woke up on the roof," Doug explained, "I happened to find eighty thousand dollars worth of Bellagio chips in my pocket." The entire group broke out in smiles.
"Looks like we're going home with some money, boys," Angelica cheered, as she quickly changed lanes. The guys threw their hands in the air.
The guests began to take their seats, while they waited for the wedding to start. Meanwhile, Tracy was sitting in the bridal suite at her parent's house waiting extremely angrily for her best friend and her groom and the usher's to show up, so they can start the wedding on time. While she waited the hairdresser did her hair
As Angelica drove the car, they met up with a van from the TUX shop.
"Here he comes," shouted Alan from the backseat, "That's him." Angelica kept driving, while they waited for the van to catch up. Stu quickly sat up a bit and outstretched his arms, when Alan's friend through the door open.
"Hey, Neeco," Alan greeted.
"Hey," Neeco answered, "What's up, Alan?" He threw their suits to them, while Angelica smiled and kept her eyes on the road.
"Whoa," Neeco, shouted. Angelica looked at the car in front of her and quickly changed lanes to avoid it, only to cut right back in front of it, to meet back up with the TUX shop van.
"Page me," Alan called, as Angelica speeded up. She needed to get these guys somewhere they could change quickly.
"Adios," Neeco called back.
"Who the hell was that guy," Stu asked.
"That was my buddy," Alan answered.
Tracy looked out the window to all the guests that were waiting patiently for the wedding. Angelica and the guys still hadn't shown up yet and she was beginning to doubt that the wedding would begin on time. She was already dressed and waiting patiently.
Angelica knew that she wouldn't be able to pull into a gas station to allow the guys to change in privacy, so she pulled over and onto the shoulder. This was the only way that they could make it there without having to get back onto the highway.
The guys changed quickly, several car were honking at them as they passed. Angelica applied any touch ups to her hair and make-up at this time. When the guys were finished, they hopped back in the car. Alan was taking forever. Angelica shook her head, as she looked at the watch that Tracy had given her for bring her maid of honour. They needed to leave and they needed to leave now.
She pressed on the gas. Alan would have to run and catch up.
Everyone was beginning to get impatient waiting for the fivesome. Tracy was sitting in between her parents, while the flower girls petted the family golden retriever. Her mother was rubbing her shoulder, while her father held her hand.
Angelica drove carefully, while Stu put on his socks and shoes, Doug shaved the best he could and Phil tied his and Alan's ties. Mentally, she was trying to come up with some way to explain to Tracy why they were late and explain to her parents that her and Phil had gotten married. It was not going to be easy, especially since her father hated Phil.
Tracy, Sid and Mrs. Garner, looked up once they heard the sounds of tires screeching to a stop. The five some burst through the doors. Ang smiled at Tracy and quickly picker bouquet up off the table.
"Hey," she said, "Sorry, MapQuest took us on a really crazy route." The guys quickly exited, Phil only stopping to give Angelica a kiss. After he left, Angelica quickly turned to Tracy, to be faced with a look of questioning.
"A long story," she said, "I'll explain later, but let's get you married, so I can officially call you my sister."
The music was playing softly in the background, softly as the flower girl made their way up the aisle to the arch, tossing flower petals softly along to the white carpet. Angelica tried desperately not to shake her head, when she noticed that the guys were still struggling to get their boutonnieres in place. Her and Phil shared a small smile. Soon the wedding march began and everyone stood, as Tracy made her way down the aisle to Doug on her father's arm.
"How's my hair," Alan asked Stu, quietly.
"It looks good," Stu assured him.
"Is it cool like Phil's," Alan asked.
"It's classic Phil." Angelica smiled as she watched her best friend walk down the aisle, and then for a small moment a frown crossed her face. She wished she could remember hers.
"She looks beautiful, man," Phil whispered into Doug's ear. Doug's smile grew wider. Tracy and her father slowly finished walking down the aisle. Tracy planted a kiss on her father's cheek and Doug made his way down the steps towards the pair. He shook hands with Sid.
"Sorry, I'm late," he whispered, as he gave Sid a small hug.
"Vegas," Sid smiled, winking at Doug.
"Where were you," Tracy asked, "And why are you so red?"
"Honey," Doug answered, "It's a long story." The minister began to ceremony.
"All I know is I am so sorry," Doug continued, "And I promise for as long as we're married to never, ever put you through anything like this again. Can you forgive me?" Tracy smiled at him and they interlocked hands for the entire ceremony.
At the end of ceremony, Angelica ran up to her parents, giving them huge hugs. Phil followed slowly beside her. From what he had heard from Doug, his parents did like him much anymore, so he thought he would let Angie explain what happened.
"Mom, Dad," she said, "While in Vegas—You see, Phil and I, talked things through and we decided to give it another shot." Her father's eyes widen. He didn't like the sound of that.
"Now, before you say anything, we have completely thought this through and are engaged to be married. He gave me this," she held up her hand, to show them the ring, "with the promise to replace it with something better once we got home." Her mother smiled at her, but her father wasn't saying anything.
"Are you sure, pumpkin," he asked softly. She looked at her dad smiled.
"I have never been so sure of something in my life." He nodded and hugged his daughter. Both Angelica's mother and father saw Phil standing not far from where they were. Mr. Billings waved him over.
"Wenneck, I'll say this once," he said, "You hurt my daughter again, I'll kill you and make it look like an accident." Phil nodded and wrapped his arm around her waist. Her parents walked off to see Doug and Tracy.
"They only think we're engaged," she explained, "I thought we could have another wedding, one we'll remember." Phil nodded and kissed.
"Come on, I want to introduce you to someone," he whispered into her ear. She laughed and nodded.
"Daddy," called a voice, causing them to turn around.
"Hey, Alec my man," Phil said, picking his son up, "How was your soccer game?"
"It was good," the little boy answered.
"Did you win?" The little boy nodded, now shy when he saw Angelica standing beside his father.
"Daddy's who's this," he asked quietly. Angelica smiled at him. Phil placed him on the ground, but before he could say anything, Angelica bent down in front of him.
"Hi Alec, my name's Angelica and I'm your uncle Doug's sister, but you can call me Ang or Angie," she said, holding out her hand for the little boy to shake. The small boy smiled and shook her hand. Phil bent down beside her.
"Now, Alec, you know your mom and I aren't together anymore, but you see I like your aunt Angie and I've asked her to marry me," Phil explained. Alec looked between the two.
"Does that make you my new mommy," the little boy asked Angelica.
"I'd never replace your real mom, but you can call me mom too, if you'd like," she said smiling, at the little boy. Phil smiled at the pair. Alec nodded. The three then went to grab a table, so they could talk some more.
Alan and Stu were sitting near the bar, taking shots when Melissa walked over to them.
"Stu," she snapped, "You avoiding me?"
"Hey," he greeted, "Melissa."
"Oh my god,' she gasped, "What happened to your tooth?"
"Have you met Alan," Stu asked, "Tracy's brother. Brother of the—" He was interrupted when Melissa grabbed his head and pried his mouth open, "Okay. Ow."
"That is disgusting," she snapped, "Why haven't you returned my calls?"
"Well, there was a snafu when we stopped—"
"I call the bed and breakfast in Napa," Melissa interrupted again, "They said they had no record of you even checking in."
"That's because we didn't go to Napa," Stu revealed."
"Stu. What the fuck is going on," Melissa yelled, causing both Phil and Angelica going to cover Alec's ears so that he didn't hear anymore.
"We went to Las Vegas," Stu continued.
"Oh, really? Las Vegas," she asked, "Why would you go to Las Vegas?"
"Because my friend was getting married," Stu explained, "That's what guys do."
"Okay, that not what you do," she snapped.
"Really," Stu asked, "Well then why did I do it huh? Because I did it. Riddle me that. Why'd I do it? You sometimes I think all you want me to do is what you want me to do. Well, I'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time. I think in a healthy relationship, a guy should be able to do what he wants to do.
"That is not how this works," Melissa shrieked. It was then that the music stopped and everyone turned to look at them.
"Oh, good," Stu shrieked back, "Because whatever this is ain't working for me!" Phil and Angelica looked on like proud parents. Stu was finally speaking for himself.
"Oh really," Melissa asked.
"Yeah," Stu affirmed.
"Since when?"
"Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last June. Boom," Stu shot back. Melissa stared back at him in shock.
"You told me it was a bartender," Alan said.
"Oh, you're right," Stu continued, "I stand corrected. It was a bartender. You fucked a bartender."
"You're an idiot," Melissa snapped.
"You're—You," Stu groaned, "You're such a bad person. Like, all the way through to your core. Alan, shall we dance? Let's do this." Stu ran out onto the dance floor, where the others were waiting for him, and they began to dance together.
"It was a real pleasure meeting you," Alan said to Melissa.
"Fuck off."
"I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license."
"Suck my dick," she snapped at him.
"No, thank you."
The Doug, Angelica, Phil and Stu sat together by the Garner's fire pit. Phil and Angelica sat in the loveseat with Alec drapped across their lap.
"Dougie," Stu called, "I gotta tell you, man, this was a gorgeous wedding."
"I give it six months," Phil pipped up.
"You're a dick," Angelica said, slapping him in the shoulder.
"I don't know what to say. Thanks for the bachelor party, I guess," Doug said. The four laughed quietly.
"Yeah. I just wish we could actually remember some of it," Stu joked.
"Hey guys," called Alan, as he walked over to them, "Look what I found."
"Whoa, that's my camera," Stu stated.
"Yeah," Alan confirmed, "It was lodged in the back seat of the car."
"Oh, go—are there photos on it," Phil asked.
"Yeah," Alan said, "Some of it's even worse than we thought."
"No fucking way," Phil said, reaching for the camera, "Give me that."
"Wa-wa-wait," Stu started. Doug leapt between the two.
"Wait, wait, wait," he said. He looked over to where the other guests were sitting.
"We look at these pictures together, okay? One time," he offered, "And then we delete the evidence."
"I say we delete it right now," Stu countered.
"Are you nuts," Phil asked.
"I wanna find out how Phil wound up in the hospital," Angelica agreed, "Is that in there?"
"Yeah, it's in there."
"Guys, one time," Doug offered again, "Deal?"
"Deal," said both Angelica and Phil.
"Deal," Stu agreed.
"Okay," Doug said, as he held the camera up in front of them. One the first picture, all of their eyes went wide.
"Oh, dear lord," Stu whispered. Angelica and Phil covered their mouths.
"That's classic," Alan shouted.
Alan with a woman with no shirt on.
Alan with same woman at a different angle.
Stu with a couple strippers.
Mr. Chow dancing with a stripper.
Phil lowering a lollipop into Angelica's mouth as she lay across a table.
The group and Mr. Chow posing with a Vegas show girl.
The group in the same picture, while Alan and Mr. Chow fight over the purse.
Phil tackling Mr. Chow to the ground, so they can get the purse.
Stu sticking a dollar in Jade's panties.
Jade and Stu singing along to the music.
Jade and Stu dancing on the stage.
Phil and Angelica making out, while Alan watched.
Phil and Angelica continuing to make out, while Alan watched.
Angelica giving Phil a lap dance.
Alan interested more in his beeper than in a stripper.
Alan continuing to check out his beeper, while Phil watched the stripper.
Stu and Jade going to kiss.
Stu dancing on a pole, while Jade was on his back.
Stu pulling his tooth out, while Jade looks at the camera nervously.
Stu continuing to pull his tooth out, while Alan, Phil, Angelica and Jade watched.
Stu with a bloody mouth and Jade.
Alan, Stu still with a bloody mouth and Jade.
Doug, laying across a newspaper bank.
Alan asleep against a meter.
Stu guzzling whiskey.
Stu throwing up the Whiskey.
Alan arresting a couple, while Phil and Angelica made out beside him. Doug standing in front of the police cruiser handling a shot gun.
Same photo, different poses.
Alan and an old lady at the slot machines.
Alan firing the shotgun into the air.
Alan with his sunglasses on holding a recently fired shot gun.
The group at the craps table with Mr. Chow cheering.
Mr. Chow hugging Alan, while Doug and Angelica cheered.
Mr. Chow kissing Alan, while Phil, Angelica and Doug cheered.
Alan asleep on the craps table.
The group in the limo wearing pink feather boas with some girls.
Stu staring a brunette longingly, while Phil and Angelica made out.
Alan getting kissed by two girls.
Stu and Carrot Top.
The entire group with Carrot Top.
The guys with Carrot top, while he snorted cocaine.
Stu and Carrot Top again.
Alan getting his belly button pierced, while the group watched.
A close up of the girl actually doing the piercing.
The finished product with the group posing around it.
A close-up of the piercing
Stu, Doug and Phil posing with mobsters.
Stu yelling at one of them.
Phil holding Stu back from actually hitting him.
Stu hitting him.
Alan posing in the fountain.
Alan swimming in the fountain.
Alan standing in the fountain dripping wet.
Stu, and Alan posing around Phil, while he lay unconscious.
Stu and Alan doing another pose, while Angelica goes to slap them upside the head.
Phil drinking more whiskey while posing with Stu, Alan and Angelica.
Mr. Chow and a hooker sleeping.
The hooker giving Mr. Chow a blow job.
Doug asleep on the roof.
Alan, pretending to fuck Doug from behind.
Mike Tyson and his girlfriend sleeping.
Phil and Stu posing with Mike Tyson and his girlfriend.
Phil pretending to knock out Mike Tyson.
Doug riding the tiger.
Alan being "hugged" by the tiger.
Doug, Stu, Phil and Angelica posing with the tiger while it stayed in the backseat of the cruiser.
Alan getting a blow job from an old lady.
Alan and the old lady smiling.
Alan screaming, while the old lady gave him a blow job.
Alan, holding his hand up, while the old lady continued to give him a blow job.
The four guys, holding Jade horizontally.
The four guys, holding Angelica horizontally.
Stu smiling at the camera with Jade on his back pointing at the ring.
Phil and Angelica making out in the chapel.
Stu offering Alan a drink.
The five some posing at the wedding.
A/N: Well that's the end. Let me know if you guys want me to do the aftermath. I.E. What Tracy does when Angelica tells her that Phil and her are married, Phil and Angelica getting re-married and and quite possibly Phil and Angelica finding out that she could be pregnant. Let me know in your reviews, though they will be part of a differen story.
xo