Rating: T for eye-poking-out-ness and making out passionately in a tree.
Summary: Rapunzel, Death Note style. L is Misa's adopted kid (WTF?) And attracts the intrest of a certain Prince Light.
Spoilers: An appearance by the oh-so-very awesome Mello the Plot Fairy, but that's pretty much it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I don't own Rapunzel (I'm too uninformed to know who does)
Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight, and plenty of OOCness
A/N: And back by popular demand is the Plot Fairy, Mello! YAY! I was writing this before, but got kinda distracted by other fanfiction ideas (that are totally not finished yet) but I posted the Mermaid one yesterday and I got like nine reviews (OMG! You guys all deserve applause! That is awesome!!) so I got totally inspired to finish what I had left of it before continuing my other ideas. So here I am! Again!
...Okay, I'll shut up now.
Once upon a time... (Here we go again...)
There was a woman (Who we shall call Jane) who married a man (Who we shall call Jim) (how detailed of me...). They lived conveniently (or not-so-conveniently) next door to a witch with a great field of flowers and herbs. Jane would often look into the garden (guarded by a tall fence) and see a bunch of this one herb called rapunzel. She always wanted to try some, but the witch was mean and would probably be mad at her if she stole some.
So she did the sensible thing to do. She went and bugged her husband about it. After nagging galore, he finally agreed to get her some. So he climbed the fence and entered the garden.
As he was picking some of the rapunzel for his naggy wife, the witch came out and screeched at him.
"Why are you stealing Misa-Misa's nice rapunzel?" Misa the Witch shrieked. "Misa-Misa took so long to grow it all and yet you are going to steal it?"
Jim, terrified, stopped picking rapunzel and begged for Misa to spare his life and he would do anything she asked.
"Oh, that's okay," Misa grinned as though nothing happened. "But since you are offering, Misa-Misa will let you take all the rapunzel you want if I can have your firstborn child (Where have we heard that before...)" Jim agreed.
So Jim looked up the stork's phone number (Stork Delivery Service! We have your child to you in less than ten months or your money back!). He called the number, and in nine months and three days they had a beautiful baby boy. In moments, Misa arrived to take the child.
"What will I name him..." she wondered as she took the child.
"Maybe Rapunzel since that's what we traded for?" Jim suggested. Jane slapped him in the back of the head before making her own suggestion.
"Name him L."
"Why?"
"Because I SAID SO!" And Jane's nagging was so intense that Misa agreed and took the boy, L, over to her house (which was actually a giant tower.) She didn't want L to run away from her, so she kept him in the top room of the tower. There were no doors or stairs to it, so Misa used a ladder to bring him up there and climb in through the window.
When L was twelve, the ladder broke. But Misa hadn't cut L's hair (except for in the front) for all those years and his hair had grown abnormally fast. So all she had to do was yell up:
"L! L! Let your hair down!"
If L was particularly picky that day, he would wait for her to say 'please'. But usually he would just wind his hair around a hook (conveniently located above the window), throw it down, and let Misa climb up for a visit. These visits usually involved Misa criticizing L's wardrobe and various random conversations (usually about how totally sexy that Prince Light was.)
One day when L was about sixteen, he was staring out the window and thinking. He was sick of living in a tower and only getting to see Misa all the time. It kinda sucked.
Then, down below, he saw a man (not Jim) riding by on a horse and looking so damn smug about himself that it made someone want to throw something at him.
Guess who that someone was? No, it's not the Muffin Man who lives on Drury Lane (Or wherever the hell he lives nowadays)
As Prince Light rode by on his fancy-pancy horse having a fan-flippin'-tastic day, something flew from seemingly that giant tower over there and smacked him in the noggin (I love that word.) When he looked down (in pain) to see what it was, he was surprised to find it to be a toy boat. Why someone had thrown a toy boat out of a tower, no one knows. But it was pretty painful.
Light glared up at the tower to yell something rude and insulting only to see the most beautiful, handsome, and extremely HOT (See, Light is sexy and L is hot. That's the way it works.), guy in the window. Right then and there, he made it his duty to stalk the crap out of the tower until he could kidnap and marry that guy up there.
So Light began stalking the tower. As he was stalking, a witch-lady came by and yelled up "L, L! Let your hair down!" At first he thought she was some mental institution breakout, but then to his amazement, the guy from before (not Jim, L) showed up and the window and let down some REALLY freaking long hair to let the witch climb up. Light grinned. His stalking mission had gone... (dramatic pause...)
EXACTLY AS PLANNED!! (I lurve that line!)
So the next day, Light set out on his mission to meet (and date and marry and make-out passionately with in a broom closet at midnight) the object of his affections (and stalker-like actions. But he's a very sexy stalker so no one minds. They just say 'Oh look at that oh-so-sexy stalker stalking that super-hawt guy up in the tall tower guarded by that evil witch lady' and then they forget the evil witch lady and swoon over the delicious yaoi to be had in this situation.)
He waited until the witch went up for the day, then once she came down and left, Light took his chance and ran over to yell up,
"L! L! Let your hair down!"
L was confused and wondering who this guy was. It sure as heck wasn't Misa. But then again, L was kinda sick of listening to only her mindless babbling anyway so he might as well. Shrugging, he hooked his hair (he really did need to get it cut...) Around the hook and tossed it down. He watched as his visitor climbed up and was actually pretty surprised to see the guy he had thrown a toy boat at before.
By the time he reached the top, Light was sick of climbing and already looking forward to sliding back down. (Could hair give someone rope burn? Or is it called hair burn?) But for now, he had a totally-hawt guy right in front of him. So he decided to use that super-amazing charm of his to woo his love intrest.
"You're really hawt. Date me."
Subtle, isn't it?
"Sure."
But then again, to someone who has talked to no one besides an evil witch, subtlety doesn't really matter.
Light grinned, and they both sat down and just talked for a start. Things continued like that, Misa talking to L, then Light talking to L, and so on and so forth. It went pretty well, and soon enough, Light found himself wishing that the tower had a broom closet for them to make-out in.
Until one day, Misa looked out the window while up with L in the tower and spotted Light staring up in the tower. At first she thought he was looking at her, but then she realized that no, he wasn't looking at her.
He was looking at L.
Furious, she went on a rampage, stomping about the room and screaming about how L was stealing Light's attention from her (though he didn't get how he had stolen something she had never had in the first place) She even decided that if she cut his hair then Light wouldn't like him anymore and wouldn't be able to come up. Even after snipping L's hair to be down to his shoulder's like a normal guy's would be, she was still mad. Then she finally just plain snapped and declared,
"If I put you out in that old forest out there then he'll never see you again and he'll love me instead!"
L's eyes widened, but before he could do anything, Misa's little magic minions had grabbed him and pretty much teleported him out into the middle of the giant forest that was conveniently located right next door.
Then, a few hours later, Light rode by again and yelled up,
"L! L! Let your hair down!"
And Misa hooked the hair around the hook like L did and tossed it down. Light eagerly climbed up, but was greatly disappointed to see Misa instead of L.
"Yay! Light-kun is here to see Misa-Misa!" she squealed. Light's eye twitched, and he could already feel his sanity slipping away.
"This is where you jump out the window," the Mello Plot Fairy whispered into Light's ear. The prince turned to ask him if he was insane, but then Misa resumed speaking.
"I threw that weirdo L out into the forest so now we can spend all of our time together! We can date and talk and get married and be together for the REST OF OUR LIVES!! Isn't that amazing?" she shrieked with joy.
Light's jaw dropped, and he dove out the window in fear (he could actually hear Mello laughing at him from the tower. He heard something like "Ice with that burn?" between the laughs) and landed in a pile of thorns that appeared magically out of nowhere. (It was probably Mello the Plot Fairy's doing.) The thorns somehow managed to poke his eyes out and make him blind.
Misa screamed for him to wait so she could help him, but that just made things worse and Light used his amazing navigational skills to stumble off in the direction of the forest.
It was another day or so before L and Light both finally stumbled upon each other (Light's blind, so it took longer than expected). Light only recognized his boyfriend by voice.
Then L got the same voice in his ear that Light got, telling him,
"Now start crying in a very hawt and dramatic way so that your tears of love fall on his eyes and heal them," Mello commanded.
"What, how are tears going to heal his eyes?" L asked. Mello ignored the question and, becoming impatient with all this crap, pulled out a bottle of pepper spray and fired it at L's eyes. That, of course, caused L's eyes to tear up. Seeing as he was crying anyway, L yanked Light into a hug and cried right into Light's eyes. And through some sort of fairytale magic, Light became un-blind.
"Ice with that eye-burn? No, I don't think that would help," Mello snickered as he flew away, his job here finished. "I'm going to go laugh at Misa's pain and sufferering."
Then they both made out passionately in a tree (because climbing up a tree made it so much awesomer. Seriously) at...about seven o'clock in the morning or so. Then once they had finished, they found their way back to Light's castle and got married and lived happily ever after. Misa was sad, and locked herself in the tower to cry her eyes out. She went blind. There was no one to cry on her eyes though (aside from Plot Fairy Mello. But he was too busy laughing at her misery to help out.)
And everyone (except for Misa) lived happily ever after.
A/N: Mello is the rawkin'-est plot fairy EVER. And I mean EVER. Give Mello a virtual high five. You know you want to.