Taken

"And surprisingly... he surrendered."

"Sasuke..."

The way his fingers intertwined, squeezed, surging life, love, mercy down my numb hand. The way knife chipped and scratched away at floor tiles when he pulled me into his arms and held the back of my head and pressed me into his chest, so tightly I heard his heartbeat, pounding openly and honestly.

He cares, he cares, nothing else matters as long as he cares. Even if I fail every expectation, screw up a million times over, everything will be fine as long as he holds me like this, as he did that Christmas, as he does now in this busy intersection, the honks, the shouts, the cars weaving around us.

I can be disillusioned, my pitiful struggles can end in vain, but as long as Itachi can still be with me like this, I can't give up.

I had to rip the willpower out of me to interrupt the silence with a coarse, "You are not..."

Words faded away. I couldn't continue.

He couldn't reply either. At least, not immediately. Eventually, he murmurs softly, so softly I almost missed it over the noise, "When have we grown this distant, Sasuke?"

"I-"

"Maybe an invitation for mother, a notification for father, but you... you..." He squeezes tighter. "What could have made you ever assume I would go through something as important as a marriage without you."

Distance.

Time.

Ten thousand unanswered – no, ignored - phone calls.

A ring.

Never included me in his life anyway; no need to start now.

"Forgive me," he whispers. "This isn't a marriage, but this an engagement. I didn't want to keep you in the dark, not about this, not about Sakura, but I couldn't reach you, I couldn't stop time, and when she proposed, I couldn't say no... please... please forgive me, Sasuke."

I am still speechless. Itachi is losing his composure. Itachi, my perfect brother, is losing control, seeking excuses for a fault that isn't his, begging for a forgiveness he doesn't need, trying to appease an anger that has long simmered away. I am still speechless, but somewhere in the back of my mind, apart from all the confusion and doubt, I already know.

Itachi does all this because he is scared.

He is scared of my rage.

He is scared of the stupid, stupid things I can do when I become enraged.

He is scared of the sometimes irreversible damage those stupid, stupid things can cause.

He is scared that the lost, unstable child, the product of a weak, dependent mother and blind, temperamental father, will reemerge and reach for that knife again without thinking, or run across one of the busiest intersections without bothering to look both ways.

He is scared for me.

He is scared, and yet, I can't bring myself to tell him the child is already gone, and Sasuke – the successful law student with a shining future, the product of a brother that never stopped giving a damn – has returned. He is scared, and yet I say nothing to calm his fear, only bask in his comfort and exploit his love.

And only when I have taken enough of both do I silently push him away, stripping myself of an unneeded warmth.

I carefully exit the traffic pileup, knowing when he sees my feet on the lousy sidewalk concrete, fully capable of supporting myself, he will contain his relief.

The surroundings return. The chaos we created. The biting cold. A destination I could care less about; if a team cannot carry a debate without my presence, they don't deserve it.

It's still morning, but I'm tired. I don't want to think, not about this entire mess, so my mind switches to autopilot.

Go home. Isolate yourself. Change. Drown yourself in the technicalities, typing out word after word of a paper due someday. You know what, just do all the papers today. And when done, schedule an interview with Orochimaru, maybe entertain him a little, put him on edge with rejections. Get on all his nerves, squeeze out the most beautiful contract ever, with a starting wage that will make even the most elite, wealthy lawyers in the field faint.

Then quit.

Then ruin him, because what is Orochimaru but a stepping stone.

Then remember, as I tear his entire firm apart and seize the title of litigation king, that I am Sasuke Uchiha. I am not just the little brother of Itachi Uchiha, but I am his very creation, in every sense and being, and anything short of perfection is unacceptable.

I must be perfect, because Itachi is my idol, my religion, my everything, and if he will invest in me when no one else did, then I will make sure he is not disappointed. After all, Itachi makes no bad investments. And even if he gets married and he doesn't need me anymore, I will still remain perfect, ready to serve him, save him should that day come when Itachi has risked playing God one too many times and he is finally struck down.

I must remain perfect.

So snap out of it.

Now.

Nothing has changed. I know Sakura means nothing to me, so stop acting like she does. I care nothing for her romantically, so stop making him worry with this cold behavior.

Itachi softly calls out my name.

A small hesitation as I turn around, keeping my expression blank.

His aren't. Composed to the normal eye, but I see the plague of uncertainty currently devouring him from the inside out. My previous reactions must have been the worst possible scenario for him, and the impact is affecting him.

"Will you attend the dinner," he dares to ask. Will you hear the full story?

He cares for me, enough to fly to me, let my opinions be heard, as he demotes himself the role of an accused.

The dinner, the court. Sakura, the defendant. And I, I the prosecutor.

He makes sure I will be heard. I must be heard. He cares too much for me, for my happiness, to ever try to steal away a girl I might truly love, a person who can make me happy.

I look down at his hand, the piece of jewelry he faithfully kept on his entire stay here.

I wonder if he cares enough for me to sacrifice his own happiness and let that ring slip from his finger.

Maybe.

Probably.

Yes.

I don't even need a single testimony to win this battle, do I? Itachi has already relinquished all rights to me, will follow me down to the letter, because he made me not just the prosecutor, but also the judge and jury.

Just say no, and Sakura, regardless of how far she has come, will inevitably lose.

Just say no, and the ring will slip.

Just say no, no, no, and Itachi will refuse every offer, close the case to every ring, remain untaken and unclaimed as he have for the past twenty-eight years of his life. After all, his little brother came first, his time is devoted to him first, and even if he turns thirty, forty, fifty, he will not settle down until he knows Sasuke has finally grown up and stabilized with a family of his own.

I have always known this, but pretended otherwise. Acted ignorant so well I convinced myself my brother as a lying, promise-breaking, uncommitted player. Forgot that I am the one who turned him into that.

Maybe I can keep him as that, watch Sakura's face fall as I just say-

"Yes," I dryly tell him, then leave.