His fingers were tapping on the desk. With his back straight and leaning slightly forward, Eric's gaze was fixed on the target in front of him. I could tell he was pissed. Well, I was as well. I was angry at the whole situation. But Eric's anger was focused, calm and icy. His eyes had a fire that burned blue; intense, controlled and lethal.
"Well this… complicates matters… significantly." Mr. Crutcher said as he leafed through the legal document that Eric or Oberon was served with.
Eric's nostrils flared. I was sure if he was the vampire Sheriff he was before Crutcher may not be sitting there with all his limbs intact.
Crutcher glanced up from where he was sitting and added, "Not unsolvable. We'll just have to petition to the courts your current – state of health and use that to our advantage and maybe settle out of court with the plaintiff. You wouldn't mind paying a little money to make this go away?"
Eric leaned back. Almost relaxed and with an artificial smile as cold as the glacial winter he said "Of course I don't mind." Then all of the sudden with a speed that could match a vampire's, WHAM!
Eric threw himself forward and slammed both fists on Crutcher's desk and his face was within an inch of the lawyer's. "What I do mind," he said through gritted teeth, seething, "is how INCOMPETENT you are with your work. We asked you to do this background check for the sole purpose that something like this-," Eric said as he jabbed his index finger on the letter in Crutcher's hands, "does not come and bite us in the ass! We just got married this MORNING! This means we might have to get an annulment!"
I saw a flicker in Crutcher's eyes. Eric's outburst had surprised him but he remained unfazed.
"Congratulations." Crutcher said as if Eric wasn't breathing on him. "Our background search was thorough to the point that we were able to find your juvenile records. We didn't seem to find any gap period in your history to suggest that you had changed your name in the past."
"And now I'm in trouble for contempt of court for back payments in child support." Eric finished as he eased back into his seat.
Geez Louise. I hated hearing that out loud.
Somewhere out there was a little Oberon or Oberonette who would call Eric daddy. My insides were in knots.
"A rather serious charge since you've obviously changed your name before you moved to a different state. It seems the former Mrs. Sculson had to petition the courts in Texas to take this case before they could chase after you about this. It seems she's one determined lady and no, you don't need an annulment. The one smart thing," Crutcher paused and glanced back up at Eric, "-your former self did was file separation papers before you left Arizona and filed for dissolution of marriage while you were in jail. But of course you don't recall any of it."
"I don't." Eric said stone faced.
"Good. We just need to tell the courts the exceptional situation at hand. I'll file the defense claim tomorrow. Rest assured we'll look into the background of Oberon Sculson as well."
It looked like Crutcher wanted to wrap things up but I had another question.
"What about his parole officer? Doesn't he need to know about all this as well?"
"Well… yes that. We're unsure whether its Oberon's moving states of which he may or may not have been granted permission by the parole board. It's been a lot of red tape that leads to nowhere in regards in trying to find the officer in charge. If you want this resolved quickly I suggest you permit us to hire a private investigator to get to the bottom of this, since counting the discoveries today this case will involve three jurisdictions."
"Do whatever you need. Just ensure us no more surprises!" Eric said.
Crutcher's head snapped up like he had forgotten to say something important. "In your case Oberon, that is one thing I will not dare to promise."
That's the last time I do anything out of impulse again. When will you get it through your thick head that it always leads to disaster?
I had the windows open all the way down the whole ride from Dallas, but nothing could wash away the bad feeling. See the rule kicking in here? The minute one part of you starts doing okay, the other parts fall spectacularly to pieces. The minute you find out you can date vampires; Gran dies. You think you have a relationship with Bill; he cheats. You find out you have cousins and a great grandfather; you get kidnapped and tortured. You get married; he's got family. Just accept it Sookie, every cookie life throws your way is laced with arsenic.
"Lover, for better, for worse." Eric said as he shifted the gear into park and his ring artfully flashed in the security light. We were finally back in Bontemps.
"How did you know what I was thinking? Do you still feel me through the bond?" There were a thousand things we should be talking about right now, but this was one question I wished to address to feel accomplished about something, since everything else going on seemed to have no viable solution whatsoever.
"It's not hard to read your silence all the way back from Dallas, but yes I think I feel some wallowing self pity from you. Whether it's through the bond or anything to do with our blood I can't be certain. The link seems weaker than before."
"Well that's…" I didn't know how I felt.
"What is it Lover?"
"I don't know how I feel about all this. When I look at you I see someone's father and I feel like I'm keeping their father away from them."
"That's just…"
"Ridiculous! I know! It's not like getting you to go back to Oberon's family is going to do anyone any good. It just feels bad. Like our metaphysical meddling has disrupted the universe somehow and you being served is just God's way of telling us how much shit we're in." I got out of the car and started my way up the back porch.
I heard Eric slam the door and follow me.
I knew Jason was waiting on the porch but I didn't catch the two empty voids until I reached the steps
"Hi Jason." I said without looking. It wasn't hard for me to guess which two vampires would accompany him.
Pam and Bill were sitting prim and proper on the lawn chairs while Jason had stood up. "Sookie. We have to talk." He was ready for a confrontation and absolutely outraged.
Ooookay.
"Good evening to you too Jase! Sure, I'd love to chat. May I ask why Bill and Pam are here and what is it that is so urgent that you have to wait for me here in the middle of the night?"
"We're here to talk about - him!"
Just on queue Eric reached the landing.
Bill's forearm appeared across Jason's chest out of nowhere, holding Jason back. "Good evening Sookie. We're not here to squabble with you, we just wish for a rational conversation with you." Then he glanced over at Eric and with his southern manners he asked "If you don't mind." Sometimes, I'd like to wrap Bill in silver.
I put my arm around Eric's waist "He has no opinion about who I talk to, I think you can say whatever you want to say here and now or you can take a hike! So spit it."
"Bill's nifty computer skills have expanded beyond the realm of the immortal." Pam said as she examined her nails. They looked perfectly manicured even from a distance in the abysmal lighting of by back porch. Pam was in a white leather pantsuit, perfectly tailored with a pink knit sweater underneath. On her neck was a gold chain with a double C pendant. She has power dressed without sacrificing an ounce of her personal style and that's our Sheriff Pam.
"Apparently, humans are a lot easier to track since you leave electronic traces of yourselves wherever you go." Pam stood up and took two steps towards Bill and Jason. "Imagine our surprise when we found out that you got married yesterday." Pam finished off by crossing her arms and her left eyebrow slightly raised. This left no doubt in my mind that this was an ambush, but Pam couldn't have planned anything overtly violent, certainly not in a white leather pantsuit?
"Yeah Sookie! How could you run off and marry this- this leech!" Jason jumped in. He's really offended that someone like Oberon, who'd done nothing but lived off me and depleted my inheritance away could worm his way into money like that. After all, Jason hadn't even had the chance to ask me how much I got from the vamp. He hoped it was hundreds of million so I wouldn't mind giving one or two to help him with some sort of start up.
You could always trust Jason to have a bit of self interest in everything he did. I didn't blame him. All of us are selfish in our own way. I knew that for as long as I could remember, hearing thoughts of my parents, teachers and even my Gran. I had accepted that unless it was something particularly malicious on another person's part. It was really my problem since I had no business in their heads to begin with. Thinking like this made it easier for me to get along with people.
I could feel Eric's body tighten with the tension of our present company. I rubbed small circles with my palm on Eric's back trying to sooth him. He was not a vampire but he could still take on Jason Stackhouse. "He's not a leech Jason, Oberon just doesn't remember anything before the accident. I can assure you he's quite self sufficient."
"Sookie, understand that confidence men make up outrageous stories like that all the time." Bill said gravely. Now wait just a darn minute here! What does Bill think I am? A sucker?
"Just take a look at this." Bill said as he pulled out a pile of papers from his breast pocket. It was apparent what they were with Oberon's mug shot leering on top.
"I've already seen those." I said as I slapped Oberon's rap sheet out of Bill's hands. Like I needed a reminder!
"Oh buddy! You're a slick one!" Jason said sarcastically with two thumbs up as he leaned on the railing.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Eric asked. I think he's had enough of a bad day that just keeps going as well.
"Has it ever occurred to you Sookie, that someone who happened to look like Eric would take advantage of the situation? Someone, who is practiced in the art of deception would put himself in a situation similar to how you fell in love with Eric to gain your sympathy and work his way into your wealth?" Bill said in a calm and even voice.
"That's ludicrous!" (Not from my word of the day calendar but I wondered what the spelling and meaning of the rapper's name was so I looked it up) I had to convince them to get off Eric's back! The worst part was that in their current mindset, I'd have a hard time convincing them even if I told the truth about who Oberon really was. They'd just think: poor brainwashed Sookie. My best option was to appeal their good sense.
"Just think about what you guys are saying! That Oberon looked at himself in the mirror one day, decided since he looks a little like the dead vampire Sheriff of Louisiana, he'll make an elaborate plan to get himself nearly killed on the off chance that he'll be saved by me when I just happened to wander into an area that even I didn't know I was going to end up? And how will he know about what went on between me and Eric with all that Hallow business more than two years ago? It just doesn't add up!"
"I'd do it for enough money."
"Oh shut it Jason Stackhouse! You'd take advantage of a skunk if you'd think you could make money off of it!"
"It's not that far fetched my dear friend." Pam said looking bored. "My Master's death made headline news while you were indisposed. It wouldn't be that hard for people who have the opportunity to try to take advantage of the situation."
"Just because he's being open about his past with you doesn't mean he's not trying anything, it can also mean he's anticipated you or those who care for you would do a background search on him and he's just decided to come clean. Easy enough when he could discredit it under the farce that he's got no recollection of his own sordid history." Bill took another step towards me. "Do you know how dangerous it is for you now that you have married him? Have you realized he has full access to your wealth if anything were to happen to you?"
"YOU let go of my WIFE!"
I had barely noticed that Bill had taken my hand into his, but Eric had already slapped it away. Seems both Bill and I were taken by surprise. Not good.
Bill was a good five or six inches shorter than Oberon, but that had no bearing on how menacing you can be when you're a vampire confronting a human. Double not good.
"You are mighty sure of yourself for someone who has lost his sense of self!" Bill said as he flashed his fangs out an inch away from Eric's face. "I'm onto you human! If you have any ill intentions towards my Sookie, you better confess it now."
Eric just smirked.
"What are you?" asked Bill, totally perplexed.
"Nothing. Just because I can't be glamoured doesn't mean there's something wrong with me. You could just be… weak."
I didn't know what happened, all I knew was someone grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back out onto the grass. By then it looked like Bill had punched Eric in the gut. I wanted to run back onto the porch when those perfectly manicured French nails on my shoulders held me tight. Jason was standing a little over to my left.
"Do something Pam! Bill could kill him!"
"I don't know Sookie, sometimes humans need to be taught a lesson."
"Jason!"
"Don't look at me sis. I'm just a were and not a purebred at that. You wouldn't want Bill killin' the both of us do ya?"
I don't know how Eric did it but he was moving like a vampire. It turned out he wasn't punched in the gut; he had avoided Bill's punch by sucking in his sternum and hunching his back. Not only that, he'd already somehow grabbed a hold of Bill's outstretched arm with his right hand, moved so that he was outside of Bill's striking range, twisted his arm at a bad angle and simultaneously struck him at what were obviously pressure points rendering Bill almost to the ground. If Bill wasn't a vampire, Eric's boot would've been choking him on the floor by now, but Bill with his speed and strength flipped himself back up and away from Eric.
Bill was in boxing stance and tried a couple of left and right hooks. However, every time Eric not only deflected his attacks but used the momentum of Bill's punches against him, tipping him off balance and exposing vital organs within Eric's striking range. Bill looked like he was falling over himself with every strike. If he hadn't been able to pull back using his strength and speed, Eric would've kicked his ass by now. I'd never seen anything like it. The only way I could describe it was Bill was handing out punches like a hammer and Eric was a whip moving like water.
Pam tapped a finger on my shoulder and asked, "Did you know Oberon practices Systema?"
"I don't even know what Systema is."
"It's the Russian martial arts. It takes years of discipline and training to master." Pam said as she continued to watch the fight
"Hey! LeBron over there is supposed to have lost his memory! How's he know how to fight?"
Oh shit! Eric was getting busted by Jason who couldn't even pronounce Oberon. I had to come up with something quick!
"Survival instincts are embedded deep within the subconscious. Just because he's lost his short term memory doesn't mean his body doesn't remember how to eat or walk. Oberon could be just reacting to being attacked." Pam said quietly.
"Like Jason Bourne?"
"What about you being born?"
"Pam, Jason Bourne is a movie character and Jason, I think that's the gist of what Pam is saying." Phew! Thank God for Pam.
By now the fight had progressed into the garden near the tool shed. Bill lunged towards Eric and within a blink of an eye Eric opened the door to the shed. He slammed Bill's right hand inside and aimed right at Bill's heart was a wooden end of a rake. It wasn't sharp but was still made out of wood.
"Stop it! You'll kill him!" I screeched. Out of all things, this was one of the most stupid reasons to be killing Bill over.
My outburst broke Eric's concentration and that was all that Bill needed. With a bang followed by a burst of splinters Bill tore his right hand out of the shed by ripping out the whole door. Gleaming in his right hand was a pair of pruners he must've grabbed from inside shed. The rake went flying and I saw red. Bill had the sharp end of the pruner on Eric's throat. He's cutting dangerously deep beneath the skin and drawing blood.
"Bill!" Pam barked. "I don't think killing Oberon will advance our agenda. Put the weapon down now!" Within a millisecond Pam had pulled Bill off Eric.
The wound was small but deep and the patch of blood on Eric's collar was turning his blue shirt into that murky purple color when mixed with dark red. I was positive that shirt was ruined. But Eric's hand wasn't on the wound stemming the blood flow, his hands were holding a revolver steadily aimed at Bill. How Eric miraculously got his hands on a gun is beyond me.
"You'd be better off with the rake blood bag!" snickered Bill.
"These are silver tipped hollow points that could take out your whole chest." Eric hissed. "I don't even need a good aim."
Suddenly, Pam inserted herself gracefully in the space between Eric and Bill. "This situation has now escalated to an undesirable level." Her eyes not leaving Eric she continued, "Sookie, I'm sorry we caused such a disturbance and I assure you that was not our original intent. I'll get Bobby to send someone to repair the damages we made. Hopefully we can discuss this another time with better decorum." She gave Eric a nod and left with Bill in tow. Bill and Eric were staring daggers at each other until Bill's silhouette disappeared around the house. Men!
Eric seemed to finally realized he was hurt and was inspecting his wound while Jason was still standing in the yard.
"I think you should leave as well Jase." I was really tired.
"Awww Sook, I didn't mean to have this happen. Shucks, I didn't even come here with them. They were already waiting for you when I arrived saying they wanted to talk to you and then they told me about-", he threw a wary glance in Eric's direction, "-things and how you ran off to get married all of the sudden Sook! I mean what the fuck?"
"It's a long story Jason and what was so important that you have to come here to tell me?"
"This is not how I wanted to tell you, but I'm moving to New Orleans."
"You're what? Why? When?"
"I've taken a job as a foreman for a building crew there. It pays a lot better than being on the road crew here..."
"So that's it? You're leaving me?" Jason and I weren't what you'd call close, but we'd never lived away from each other either. I felt a great sense of loss.
"Oh shucks, it ain't that far away lil' sis. You can always come visit." Jason said as he gave me a reassuring hug.
Just wait a God darn minute here. "You're hiding something from me! Are you in some sort of trouble Jason Stackhouse?"
"Wha- No! I just found a career opportunity. That's all! Can't you think about me in a good way for once?"
Not from what I just got from your head I couldn't. He was relieved he'd found this job in time to leave Bontemps for New Orleans and there was something he sure didn't want me to find out about.
"I'll call you once I get settled down." He didn't give me a chance to answer and turned to leave.
"What about the guys in Hot Shot? Do they know? Who are you going to run with?"
Jason just waved his back hand at me like he'd already got that taken care of and it didn't concern me. Fine! "Here's to looking out for him!" I thought as I stomped back into the house.
Sitting on the kitchen countertop was the gun that Eric pulled out of thin air. Listening for movement I found him in the bathroom standing by the sink shirtless, wiping the blood with a towel.
"Where did you get the gun from?" I asked. Eric had always been an old school vampire when it came to fighting; with the good old hands on approach. I don't think I ever remember him packing heat.
"I found it under the kitchen sink in Oberon's apartment when you told me to clean out the cabinets. Lucky I decided to keep it."
"Oberon had a gun? What would he be doing with a gun with silver bullets?"
"It was a bluff. They're just normal bullets."
"Oh." Was all I could say. It was a pretty good move.
I reached for the blood soaked towel in his hand. Eric hadn't had a real wound in a thousand years and he'd lost his touch. Plus I doubted he had any recent knowledge about hygiene and first aid. I made him sit down by the edge of the tub and got to work with the antiseptic cream and gauze from the medicine cabinet. The wound was small and, as I suspected, deep. If we couldn't stop the bleeding tonight we might need to get stitches at the hospital. The Goddamn hospital. When can I be rid of that place? What would I do if Eric wound up in there again?
"He could've killed you, you know."
"What?" He twisted his head, making me accidentally shove a dollop of antiseptic cream right in the wound and he hissed.
"Stop moving. I meant Bill. He could've killed you. Have you even thought about that? What would I do if something were to happen to you again?"
"He was being inappropriate with you when I was standing right there! How else was I supposed to react? You are my wife! Plus, it's only Compton. I can take him on if I was a squirrel."
"You can't keep romping around with your vampire pride when you're human now Eric! I hate to break it to you but you don't fly, magically heal or drink blood anymore!"
"I will not have my wife be molested in front of me by Bill fucking Compton of all fucking low down vampires!"
"He just touched my hand for God's sakes! What would you do when one of the customers tried to cop a feel when they're drunk at Merlotte's? Or slap my ass when I finish with their order? You going to fight each and every single one of them? You can't keep doing that!"
"This is bullshit! You liberated women are just full of it. Imagine what you would be saying now if I hadn't had a reaction to Bill's advances at all! You'd be all up in my business about me not doing anything!" I'd barely secured the bandage over the gauze and he stood up, towering above me with an expression of a king being defied by his subject. Well he could shove it.
"Don't you go on trying to turn this back on me! You should know your limits!"
Eric lifted me up, placed me to his right hand side so I wasn't in his way to the door and walked out of the bathroom.
"I will not let some third rate vampire like Bill Compton insult me and what's mine. That is my limit."
So this was about him.
That night I had a nightmare of Eric getting into fights with patrons at Merlotte's, getting hit over the head with beer bottles and worst of all Bill shoving those pruners clean through this neck. The last one woke me with a start. The nightmare continued as I felt a void in the bedroom and I felt it was Bill coming back for a rematch.
But it wasn't a dream.
Eric was beside me and woke up when I threw myself across his chest, waiting for Bill to strike. When it didn't happen I opened my eyes to see that it wasn't Bill at all.
It was Pam, kneeling on the floor with her arm across her chest.
With a red tear sliding down her cheek she bowed her head and said
"Master."
A/N: Thanks again to murgatroid for being super efficient with this chapter. I really liked the way this chapter turned out. Writing about Pam in the next one will be fun so fingers to keyboard now...