Rating: K for having pretty much nothing in it.

Summary: The Princess and the Pea, Death Note style. Prince Light wants to marry L, but first he has to prove his love is a prince.

Spoilers: Uhm...Well, none, I think.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I don't own

Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight, and plenty of OOCness

A/N: This one didn't turn out as good as I had hoped it would...I don't really like it...

Once upon a time in a land far far away there was one a time long ago where... (OH! COMBO FOR TEH WIN!!)

There was a grand castle in a grand kingdom that had a grand family. (Made up of a grand king with his grand queen and their grand but brideless son.) King Yagami was worried because his son was still unmarried and didn't find any of the fair (or cheating) maidens to be suited to his tastes. The king and the queen had decided that if Light didn't marry in a month, he would be wed to a beautiful lass named Misa. Light had hated this, but he didn't have much of a choice. He didn't like any of the girls in the kingdom.

He absolutely hated Misa, though. She was one of the worst.

So he was pretty much hoping to whatever great spirit may be up in that sky that someone from another kingdom would show up and save him from being forced to marry Misa. (Even though the girl seemed to excited to marry him.)

There was a knock at the door. It was so late, that it was actually pretty surprising. Plus there was a horrible blizzard whooshing about. Who the hell was out in this weather?

"I'll get it." he called out to his parents as he walked over to see who was at the door. He gently (and sexily) swung the door open and looked to see who it was.

He certainly didn't recognize the ultra-hot person at his door, but that didn't matter much. His visitor had dark black hair and eyes, and was wearing just a long-sleeved white shirt and blue jeans. He wasn't wearing a jacket. No wonder he was shivering.

The stranger blinked, and then pointed to Light's nose. "Nosebleed."

Light turned red (and not from the blood!) and wiped his nose off on a tissue he magically produced from his pocket.

"My name is L. I am a prince from another kingdom, but we were attacked by barbarians and I have been unable to locate any other survivors," he explained. Then he paused, and as a second thought added, "It's rather cold outside."

Light immediately dragged L into the house and shut the door, leading the confused L over to the living room and setting him on the couch.

"Of course it's cold outside! You can't be out there in a blizzard!" Light proclaimed, tossing a giant blanket over L's small shoulders. "You're staying here for the night."

L nodded, having not been given much of a choice in the matter. He had just been going to ask to borrow a coat, but this person (most likely Prince Yagami, according to the sign outside) seemed very insistent that he stay here. Odd... (Not to us!)

Light had already stomped off to the kitchen and started making some hot cocoa and thinking about how totally hot L was. Forget about Misa! He wanted to marry Prince L! (Oh yes you do, Light. You can't resist L's charms...I wish I could portray my evil smirk in writing...)

When he returned with a big mug of hot chocolate for his new love, he saw his parents already speaking with L. Once his father noticed him walk in, he immediately shot over and dragged his son to the kitchen to talk.

"What do you think of this L?" King Yagami asked.

"He's hot and I want to marry him instead of Misa," Light replied. King Yagami seemed surprised, but nodded.

"Well, we have to find out if he's really a prince first." He glanced out into the living room. L and Queen Yagami were chatting casually about dessert recipes. Perfect. The King draged his son over to the guest room and they both proceeded to pile mattress upon mattress upon mattress upon freaking MATTRESS. When they had grabbed all the spare mattresses in the castle and piled them up, the stack nearly reached the ceiling. There were about 23 of them.

Then, to finish it, King Yagami slipped a tiny, dried out pea in between the first two mattresses. He stepped back to admire their work.

"Only a true prince or princess would be able to feel that tiny pea through all the mattresses!" he laughed triumphantly.

"I don't get it. How is that going to work?" Light asked.

"Don't question it or I'll have to sic Plot Fairy Mello on you." That threat made Light shut up right then and there.

So the father and son went back to the mother and guest and joined in the conversation. After an hour or so, they all decided to go to bed (since it had already been night by then) and Light lead L to the room with all the mattresses.

L took one look at the giant stack before looking back to Light.

"If I fall from the top and become injured, I am going to blame it on Prince Light-kun," he said, grabbing a ladder from the corner and climbing all the way up to the top before curling up on the mattress pile. Light gulped, and stood by the ladder just in case the entire time. Once L was safely on the mattress, he left and went back to his own room for the night.

In the morning, the entire Yagami family greeted L at the front door to wish him off if he hadn't felt the pea under the mattresses or marry him to Light if he had. After everyone had said their good mornings, Light asked,

"How did you sleep, L?"

"I do not sleep often, Prince Light-kun. I merely sat and thought all night," L replied. Light was disappointed, but didn't let it show. This meant he would have to marry Misa.

L thanked them for their hospitality and had opened the door to leave when he suddenly stopped and turned back around.

"I am not sure if I am a bad guest for mentioning this, but I would recommend investigating those mattresses, King Yagami-san. I believe one of them may have a lump."

At that, Light instantly lept forward and tackle-hugged L, causing them both to go crashing to the ground.

"Yay! We can get married now!" he exclaimed with a sort of 'squee' look on his face. L's face said 'WTF', but he shrugged. His own kingdom was destroyed, so why not?

And so, they got married and lived happily ever after.

Epilogue:

Misa got the happy (not-so-happy to her) news in the mail the next day. There were three letters in her mailbox. The first one was the invitation, which she proceeded to cry on until it was all wet and soggy and gross. The second two were a little odd. They both only had one sentence. They said:

'Ice with that burn?'

And,

'LOL! You got served!'

She didn't know who they were from. (We intelligent readers sure do!)

A/N: I don't really like this one as much as the others...It's not as funny or yaoi-licious...