Rating: T for possible swears (can't remember...)
Summary: In order to prevent having a bad fairy tale due to this being the thirteenth chapter, there isn't going to be a fairy tale. Instead, Matt, Mello, and L are going to tell you about bad-luck-causing superstitions with help from their victim, Light. Please enjoy this educational break.
Spoilers: Uhh...None besides the appearance of Matt and Mello.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and I got the superstitions from this website (without spaces):
ht tp/ww w.oldsu per stiti ons.c om/b adluc k.ht ml
...The superstitions aren't mine either.
Warning: Childish and stupid humor and plenty of OOCness and not-sense-making-ness
A/N: Really, I like the number thirteen. I just wanted to torture Light with some bad luck since he's always getting to marry the hot detective in all these fairy tales. L's too awesome for bad luck, so Light will get all of it.
And I would have posted this later, but it has to be a Friday in April for this to make sense (For anyone who reads this later, it is currently Friday, April 25th, 2008). You'll find out soon enough.
Please enjoy, and don't open umbrellas indoors!
"Greetings to our dear readers!" Mello said to the reader-camera. "Rather than a fairy tale, we're going to play it safe. As you may know, this is the thirteenth chapter. So it's unlucky. Instead, we're going to teach you about superstitions."
"Specifically, bad luck superstitions," Matt took over. "Our victim of bad luck today will be Light Yagami!"
Light blinked, confused. "Wha? You said the victim would be L!"
"I lied," Mello snapped. "Get over it. L's going to set everything up for us today."
Light blinked, glancing around. Quickly, L dashed forward and easily pushed Light over. Light stumbled underneath a ladder, then tripped over a black cat. As he fell, L shoved a gift-box into Light's arms. Light crashed to the ground, crushing and killing a sparrow. His fall also broke the box, revealing it's contents. A mirror fell out and shattered, two knifes also flew out and skittered across the ground, crossing each other as they slowed to a stop. The vibrations of his fall knocked over a nearby salt shaker and a pepper shaker.
"It's bad luck to walk underneath a ladder," Matt explained. "The same goes for crossing paths with a black cat."
"Receiving a mirror as a gift is really bad luck. Breaking a mirror means seven years of bad luck. Also, crossing two knives by accident is bad luck. Killing a sparrow means you're cursed," Mello continued. "Oh, and spilling salt is bad luck. Same with pepper. Spilling them both doubles the unluckiness."
Light got up and stared in horror. He quickly gathered the pieces of the mirror to later bury them in moonlight. That would reverse the bad luck. He threw some salt over his left shoulder for the same reason. Then he retrieved the knives and handed them back to L, who accepted them.
"Here! I don't want these dumb knives!" he said nervously, worried now about the sparrow, ladder, and pepper.
"My hands are cold, Light-kun," L complained for no apparent reason. Light glared before tossing him a spare pair of gloves. He resumed fretting about his bad luck once more. Well, until he heard Mello start talking again.
"It also means misfortune to give someone a knife, sharp object, or gloves as a gift without getting anything back in exchange." Light stared on in horror. He was being set up.
L left the house, then soon returned with a bunch of animals. He released a bat into the house through the window, then walked inside and released an owl and three butterflies. The owl hooted three times as the butterflies flew around Light together.
"If a bat flies into your house, that's bad luck. Seeing three butterflies together or an owl in daylight mean bad luck too. If you hear an owl hoot three times, bad luck," Matt said as he lit up a cigarette. He then tossed it on the floor, starting a small fire. Light panicked at this, and started stomping it out until every ember was gone.
"I'm going to bed," he groaned. L started up the stairs first, and Light soon passed him up. On the way, L tossed a hat on Light's head. The teen threw it on the bed and flopped down to sleep. He apparently wasn't thinking much.
"Apparently, it's bad luck to completely get rid of a fire before retiring to bed. You have to leave a few embers in it," Matt commented, staring at the cigarette. "What a waste of a smoke."
"It's also bad luck to pass someone on the stairs, or throw a hat on the bed," Mello said. "Stop whining. They're bad for you anyways."
At the mention of more bad luck, Light immediately sprung out of bed, left foot first. Mello and Matt started.
"Tsk, tsk. You should know better, Light," Mello scolded. "It's bad luck to get out of bed on your left foot."
"STOP IT!" Light screamed, banging his fist on his desk. He knocked over some ink, a candle, and some more salt.
"Spilling ink means worry, annoyance, and failure on a project. You get bad luck if a candle falls over too," Mello announced as Light worriedly tried to put out the fire.
"Does that have anything to do with that cow causing the Chicago Fire by tipping over an old oil lamp candle-like thing?" Matt asked.
"How the hell should I know?"
Light ran off, planning to escape, when L suddenly shoved a glass of wine into his hand. As he ran, Mello extended one of his arms that was holding out another glass of wine.
"A toast!" he chuckled, just as Light accidently crashed his own glass into Mello's, shattering them to pieces.
"Whoops. Breaking the glass during a toast means bad luck, Light," Mello snickered.
"I'M LEAVING!" Light yelled, grabbing a pair of new shoes from the closet. He tossed them on his kitchen table while he grabbed his coat. Once his coat was on, he sat down and took out his shoes. At first, he messed up and put his right shoe on his left foot. Then he corrected that and put his left shoe on the left foot, following with the right foot.
"It's bad luck to put new shoes on a table or put your left shoe on before the right. It's even worse to put the right shoe on the left foot," Matt said as he, Mello, and L all followed Light down the stairs.
Light growled, upset, as he hurriedly buttoned up his coat. In his rush, he accidently buttoned a button in the wrong button-hole.
"Misfortune upon he who fastens a button in the wrong button-hole," Mello laughed. Light screamed and ran out the door, the trio following behind him. On the way down the sidewalk, he accidently stepped on a crack. Even he knew this one, and he frowned when his cell phone started ringing. He reluctantly answered it, asking what it was.
"Yeah, Dad?" he said, relizing that it was his father on his phone. "Mom's at the hospital...She broke her back...That's terrible...Wish her well for me. Bye."
He sprinted down the sidewalk, Mello laughing at him as the terrible trio followed him. Light's destination was a newly opened cruise line. Thankfully there were tickets left so be bought one. He glanced back to Mello.
"..." Mello didn't say anything for a bit, then glanced into his pocket book of superstitions. "Nope. You're good."
Light sighed in relief and signed the contract handed to him that it was his fault if he drowned after jumping overboard.
As he stepped on the ship (left foot first) and boarded, he heard Matt say,
"Starting a cruise on Friday is bad luck, and so is boarding a ship while stepping on your left foot first. Oh, and we can't forget that signing a contract or lease in the months of April, July, or November."
He growled, ran all the way up, then grabbed a rock that had somehow gotten on board and chucked it down at the trio. He didn't throw hard enough, and it fell into the ocean.
"For shame, Light," Mello lectured. "Don't you know that throwing stones into the ocean is bad luck?"
"I HATE YOU!"
In another furious act of rage, Light grabbed the nearest by seemingly-dangerous object and used all his strength to throw it right at Mello. This object happened to be a glass bottle of alcohol, and it smashed a couple feet behind Mello, Matt, and L.
"Breaking a glass bottle. Bad luck," Mello smirked.
"And a total waste of good booze," Matt added.
"That too."
Light had been about to throw something else when the boat finally sailed off, thankfully bringing Light away from the mischief-makers
He had just turned around to go look for his room when he saw Matsuda running happily towards him.
"What is it, Matsuda?" he asked, hoping this wasn't the start of his bad luck.
"Ryuuzaki asked me to give you this note!" he chirped, handing Light a small slip of paper. Nervously, Light unfolded it and read the message within.
'It is bad luck to encounter a gravedigger coming towards you means there will be a bad sickness, Light-kun.' it read. Light gulped. What could this mean?
"And guess what?" Matsuda resumed, still cheerful. "In exchange for giving that to you, Ryuuzaki got me these cruise tickets to take me to the location of my new part-time job! I'm going to be a gravedigger!"
...Well, that explained it.
"We hope you have learned something from this valuable experience," L said, turning to the reader camera.
"Or at least enjoyed Light's pain, suffering, and misery," Mello smirked. "It's too bad he'll be in another country by the time his bad luck kicks in. We'll watch the papers for you, don't worry."
"And remember: Unless you were born in October, it's bad luck to wear opals," Matt concluded.
"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Mello asked.
"I managed to snap an opal pin onto the back of Light's shirt as he ran out."
"Oh, that is good."
A/N: This was extremely fun to write. So remember kids, looking at the new moon over your left shoulder is bad luck, but if you turn over every piece of silver in your pockets or handbag then you shall prosper for a month!
...I'm actually not a superstitious person. XD