Rating: T for the h-word and invisible cloth.

Summary: The Emperor's New Suit, Death Note style. Light wants a new outfit, and Matt and Mello claim they can make him some truly amazing duds. Problem is, they're invisible. And no one wants to admit it.

Spoilers: Uhh...Matt, Mello, and Teru show up. But that's like it. Again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and most of these fairy tales belong to Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm. Aka, not me. (This one specifically I'm pretty sure is by Hans Christian Anderson)

Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight and MikamixLight, and plenty of OOCness

A/N: Okay, anyone know that movie the Emperor's New Groove? I do. It's the reason the title of this fairy tale struck familiarity with me. I was like 'Oh, this must be the fairy tale that movie was based off of!' Really, it's a very interesting concept. And so, I gave it a shot.

And I'm glad that my Superstition chapter didn't suck. I was a little worried since it wasn't a fairy tale, but I was thinking about it around chapter ten and I thought it would be a nice idea. I couldn't get it out of my head, and it would work best on a chapter thirteen, so I went for it. And it worked! Yay! So thank you!

Once upon a time... (It's just too classic.)

There was a great emperor named Light who ruled over his land very very well. Except for his freakish obsession with new outfits. He'd go out clothes shopping every single day and buy himself a new outfit. Every hour or so he'd change outfits and strut about town to show off his new outfit and brag about how well it accented his sexiness.

One day, two swindlers named Mello and Matt entered the town and proclaimed that they were selling a fantastic cloth with mysterious powers. Light, interested, went over to inquire.

"What kind of mystical powers does it have?" he asked.

"Well...You can climb walls, shoot web out of your hand, fight crime..." Matt rattled. Mello then proceeded to smack him on the back of the head.

"You're thinking of radioactive spiders. Our cloth is invisible to anyone who isn't fit for their job or is just plain stupid," Mello explained.

Light paused, pondering this. "So stupid people would think I'm naked?"

"Yup."

"Make me an outfit out of this stuff."

And so, Matt and Mello set to work. They asked for all the best gold silk and nicest cloth. However, They didn't make an outfit with it. Of course not. They were swindlers. Instead, they just pretended to work, using a weaving loom to weave imaginary thread. Really, they weren't doing anything but acting.

After two days, Light grew impatient. So he sent his honest advisor, Mikami Teru, to check up on the weaving pair. Mikami agreed and set off. At the workstation Matt and Mello had set up, he looked at the loom and saw nothing. He panicked, thinking that maybe he was too stupid or unfit to see this oh-so-amazing (and non-existant) cloth. Surely Light would fire him if the emperor found out. So he instead walked over calmly, putting on just as good of an act as Matt and Mello were with their weaving.

"How's the outfit coming?" he asked after about a minute of watching them weave at the invisible cloth.

"It's coming along beautifully! I think this is our best work yet!" Matt cheered with a grin.

"Yeah! Look at all the colors and patterns! You'd have to literally be stupid to think it wasn't the most beautiful thing ever!" Mello proudly said. Then he went on to describe certain parts of the imaginary outfit in great detail as Mikami listened intently.

"I see. It's very nice. I'm sure Emperor Light will love it!" Mikami nodded his agreement before walking back. He told Light everything Mello had talked about, and then happily walked away, glad he had faked it well enough.

But this information only made Light more curious. The next day, he sent out his wardrobe adviser, Misa, to go check on the cloth. She joyfully agreed, happy to do anything for her beloved Light.

But just like with Mikami, Misa couldn't see anything on the loom. This was most likely because there was nothing there.

'Oh, no! Is Misa-Misa is not fit to be Light-kun's advisor, she won't get to see him as much!' Misa worried. She decided that she would simply pretend she could see it.

"How is the outfit coming?" she asked.

"Fantastic! I'd wear it myself if it weren't being made for the emperor! It is truly worth of someone of his status and sexiness!" Mello announced. Matt nodded in agreement as he continued working. They described the outfit to Misa, and then she went back and described their description to Light.

By now, Light was really really really REALLY curious. So he went to see for himself. Matt and Mello were excited, and eagerly showed off their work. Light blinked when he realized that he couldn't see the cloth at all. This was terrible! He knew he wasn't stupid, so did this mean he wasn't fit to be emperor?

"How is it, Emperor Light?" Matt asked innocently. Light, wanting to save his reputation, boasted only praise for their work.

"It's marvelous! Amazing! Magnificent!"

"And sexy?" Mello asked.

"Not as sexy as I am, but it'll do me justice."

So Matt and Mello continued working, and by the next day they had finished the entire outfit. They joyfully brought it to Emperor Light and showed it off. The entire outfit consisted of a shirt (which was invisible), a coat with a long trailing part behind it (also invisible), some nice pants (completely invisible), and a nice pair of shoes (again, invisible.)

"Isn't it beautiful?" Mello asked. Everyone in the room nodded and agreed for fear of being called stupid for not being able to see it. Matt and Mello grinned at the praise and handed the outfit over to Emperor Light.

"Go ahead! Try it on! It's so light that it feels like you aren't actually wearing anything!" Matt exclaimed. Light nodded and went to his dressing room while Matt and Mello followed, claiming that since the outfit was very delicate and they would help. So the two swindlers assisted Light and pretended to help him slip into his new and nonexistent outfit. Soon enough, Light was marching around the town., wearing a beautiful suit that no one could see. Basically, he was walking around nude. A lot of girls swooned and fainted on sight that day.

Everyone in town continued saying it was fabulous, hiding the fact that they couldn't see the outfit at all. Until finally, a little kid pointed and asked,

"Mommy, why isn't he wearing anything?"

Then, everyone realized that you know what, a kid couldn't be unfit for their job and kids were supposed to be a little less smarter than adults (sometimes), so the kid couldn't be lying. So they all went 'Oooohhhhhh...' in unison.

Emperor Light, having over heard this, realized what had happened and turned to glare at Matt and Mello. Both of them were laughing their heads off at him, Matt yelling, "Lol! You got served!" while Mello laughed, "Ice with that burn?"

Light stormed over to them, glaring and growling in fury.

"I demand a refund!" he fumed.

"Slow down!" Matt snickered. "You didn't even see the actual power of this outfit!"

"Actual...power?" Light clarified, confused.

"Yeah!" Mello continued, laughing still as he pointed over to one of the people in the crowd.

Light turned around to see what Mello was pointing at, and saw a very, extremely, and totally hot detective staring at him. Both fo the hot/sexy individuals got nosebleeds.

Emperor Light walked over this hot detective and they both introduced themselves.

"Do you think I'm sexy?" Light asked the detective, L.

"Who wouldn't?" L replied.

Light smirked. "Marry me."

"Hell yes."

And so the hot detective and sexy emperor got married. They argued every once in a while about how L wore the same thing all the time and Light always felt the need to change his outfit, but the fights never lasted long because by the third insult they had pretty much jumped each other and started making out. They learned to accept their differences in taste and live happily. Misa and Mikami were extremely upset that neither of them couldn't marry Light, but decided that suicide wasn't a good option so they just kept their jobs. Matt and Mello mysteriously vanished from the town, but being that they had never had to give Light a refund, they became rich elsewhere and lived in elegance.

And they all lived (pretty much) happily ever after.

Elsewhere, Matt and Mello morphed back into their original forms as plot fairies and high fived each other.

Mission success.

A/N: No, the actual fairy tale doesn't end that way. But if Light is walking around in an 'invisible' outfit, I have to have L show up. And in case you can't tell, Matt and Mello were directing the plot for all of you. I am currently working on writing them their own fanfiction, but it turned out too romance-ish so I'm restarting it. XP I'll get to it eventually...