Rating: T for Melting-licious death.
Summary: The Snow Queen, Death Note style. A looking glass that turns everything good into bad can cause a lot more trouble than one might expect, and Light and L learn this first hand.
Spoilers: ...None, really. Mello and Matt show up, but that's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and most of these fairy tales belong to Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm. Aka, not me. This one is by Hans Christian Anderson.
Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, one-sided MisaxLight, and plenty of OOCness
A/N: I literally wrote this all today and yesterday. I've been working on other fics and stuff so I didn't get the chance to. So I'm hoping that in my rush, it doesn't suck that much.
Once upon a (insert synonym for 'time' here)...
There was a freaking awesome demon named Mello and his partner Matt. They had been laying around bored one day when Mello got this fantastic idea. They could make a looking glass that made everything that was good look horribly horrible in a horrible sort of way! It would be perfect(ly horrible)!
So the pair immediately set off to work on this looking glass (and they actually made something, unlike when they made an outfit for an emperor before,) and soon had it finished. They had great fun looking at people and criticizing them and their hideous hideousness.
But when they went to bed that night, they foolishly left the looking glass on Mello's desk, and another demon, Matsuda, came in and decided to take a look for himself. He was amazed by what he saw, and went to look around the world with it.
Matt and Mello woke up just as Matsuda had started flying up towards heaven to see the angels through it. But all the water in the clouds made the glass slippery, and all three demons watched in shock as the looking glass slipped from Matsuda's grasp and tumbled to the ground, shattering into pieces.
"Stupid Matsuda..." Matt and Mello muttered angrily while glaring at the clumsy demon. Matsuda cowered, and fled the wrath of the pair.
All of the pieces of the glass scattered, but contained the same power as the entire thing. Some of the shards were big, and were turned into glasses. That was horrible because the person would always be seeing out them. It was even worse when they were used for monocles. But the worst of them all was when the tiniest fragments managed to find some odd way to slip into someone's heart or eyes. In the eyes, that person would see only as if they were looking through the glass, and in their heart, that person's heart would turn into a cold lump of ice. It remains unknown why that doesn't kill people, but that's not what matters.
What matters is the two little kids who always played together.
Light and L were the best of friends. They would be brothers if they didn't make such a freaking hawt couple. Every day they played together. It was especially fun in the winter, when they could go out and play in the snow.
One cold winter day, Light and L were out playing and making a snow man when Light spotted a pretty woman over by the trees that looked like she was made of ice. The woman smiled, and then her eyes glowed blue as she yelled, "MISA-MISA EYE-BEAM OF GLASSINESS!!"
A bright blue beam flew out of her eyes and right into Light. Then three small looking glass shards were sent flying at him, one in each eye and one in his heart.
Immediately, Light's heart froze into ice and he only saw ugliness. How terrible! How horrible! Let's watch!
"That snowman is ugly! LIKE YOUR MOM!" he yelled, kicking the snowman's head off as he glared at L.
"My mother is dead, Light-kun. I thought you knew that," L replied, mildly confused.
"Yeah, dead like YOUR MOM!"
"...Light-kun should stop speaking now."
As the next few days went by, Light continued to be mean and insulting to everyone. He lost all his friends but L. L was determined to find out what was wrong with his friend.
One day, when Light walked out of his house to find and insult L, he saw that ice lady again. Since she wasn't good at all, he saw her as she normally was.
"Misa-Misa is so happy to see Light-kun!" Misa the Snow Queen squealed. "Light-kun should tie his sled to the back of my carriage and we can go to Misa-Misa's castle!"
"Tie my sled to your carrige and let you drag me around? That sounds dangerous..." Light replied, glaring coldly at Misa.
"That's not what matters. What matters is that I have Mello's phone number and you don't want to deal with an angry plot fairy."
At that, Light grabbed his sled and tied it to Misa's carriage and they both rode off to Misa's castle in the skyyyyyyyyyy...
L, meanwhile, spent the day wondering where Light had gone off to. The next day, he decided to go out at look for his lost friend.
He went to the river first, then stopped and checked his script. Apparently, he was supposed to throw his shoes into the river and ask it to tell him where Light was. He did a double take on that.
"But...I don't wear shoes and rivers don't talk..." he mumbled. But then he shrugged. Fairy tales didn't always make sense. He might as well improvise.
So he took his shirt off (to the cheers of thousands of fangirls) and tossed it into the river while asking, "River, do you know where Light-kun is?"
As expected, the river said nothing. But it did bring a boat over to L. L took this as a sign that he should hop in and sail and maybe, just maybe, he would find Light.
So the boat took off down the river and waited. And waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, after about a half-hour of sailing, a crow flew down and landed on the boat.
"I CAN TELL YOU WHERE LIGHT IS!!111!!" it screamed. L flinched, but listened nonetheless. "LIGHT IS WITH THE EVIL SNOW QUEEN MISA! UP IN THE SKYYYYYY!!"
L blinked. This was one annoying crow. "How can I get to this castle in the sky?"
"I DON'T KNOW!!" it screeched. "But you can ask the reindeer over there and he might help you!"
L immediately hopped out of the boat and ran over to the reindeer, hoping that he wouldn't be as annoying as the crow. The reindeer had a glowing nose, and that was very odd.
"...Rudolph?" L guessed, remembering the Christmas song.
"No, I'm Rupert the Orange-Nosed Reindeer. You're thinking of my cousin," answered the reindeer. L nodded, and asked him to take him to the Snow Queen's castle. Rupert agreed and they both magically flew up into the sky and to Misa's castle.
When L walked inside, he could see Light sitting by Misa's thrown, trying to drown out her awful voice, but to no avail. Misa stopped talking and glared at L.
"Why are you ruining Misa-Misa's perfect moment!?" she whined, standing up and storming over to L. Said detective decided to solve this dilemma.
Using a conveniently placed bucket of fire. (No one knows how they got fire in a bucket, but when your heart can freeze into ice and you still live, anything can happen!)
The fire caused Misa to melt into a puddle of water, all the while shrieking, "I'M MELLLLLLTIIIIIIINNNNGGGGG!!" L ran over to Light and pulled him into a hug.
"Light-kun I missed you!" he yelled, all according to the script. Then he used his amazing ability to cry on cue and began sobbing into Light's chest. L's tears are apparently magical, since they managed to seep through Light's skin and warm up the ice cube that was his heart. Light got his emotions back, and he was so glad to see his friend again that he hugged L and started to cry as well. His tears washed out the glass shards and he could see again.
And that was about the time he noticed that his (extremely hot) friend was shirtless in front of him.
And so, L and Light fell in love, got married, and took over Misa's castle to rule her kingdom. Mello was saved the trouble of saying 'ice with that burn' since Misa the Snow Queen was made of ice anyway.
And they all lived happily ever after. The end.
A/N: ...No, the story didn't really end that way. To write this one, I used two versions. A long version, and a short version. The long one was too long, but the short one was missing the intro. So I combined the two and added my own little parts.
Long version: htt p/hc a.gile ad. org.il/s nowqu e.ht ml (This is the site I use to get most of my Hans Christian Anderson tales. It's awesome.
Short version: It's from this website called Millsberry dot com (except with the www and the dotness instead of just words) I don't go there, but I had bought all the little fairy-tale books their stores had because they were pretty cute and I remembered the Snow Queen one.