Sorry about the long update... I know it's annoying to wait so long, and I'm sorry. I've been busy with school, family, blah blah blah.

You don't want to hear about my life. Moving on then...

Tonight… I will become a legend.

I turned to the bola launcher that had misfired earlier. I grabbed a pair of bolas off of the wall, and threw it over my shoulder.

…Then one of the ends swings around my arm and hit me in the gut.

I coughed in pain, holding my gut. Man, those things pack a punch…

I'm learning new and interesting ways to hurt myself every day. Joy.

I carefully put the bola over my shoulder, to avoid making the same mistake twice.

I then grabbed the handles of the bola launcher, and rolled it on its wheel, much like that of a wheelbarrow.

I then ran out the door, up to the highest point in the town. No fire, dragons, or people to distract me there. The battle is dying down, so I must act quickly before the Night Fury leaves.

I got on top of the small hill, put the bola launcher down, opened it up, set the rotating hinge to a correct axis, loaded the bola, pulled the loading mechanism back, and readied the firing mechanism…

…Silence.

A distant roar sounds, could be of the Night Fury, or any other dragon.

I just need to wait…

I need to find its outline…

Uhg, I won't be able to find it until it attacks again.

What if I miss? How can I hit something even the eye misses?

Well I can load it up for another- damn it! I only brought one bola! Why! Why was I not thinking!

"It's probably gone already. I guess only I could be late to a battle happening right outside my door, Hiccup the worthless." I said to myself…

…

"I need to stop talking to myself." I said again.

Then I noticed a star disappear, and reappear.

"Yes!" I said quietly.

I put my hand on the firing mechanism, and aimed the launcher.

I'm going to shoot that Night Fury, if it is the last thing I do…

"Come on… Gimme something to shoot at, gimme something to shoot at…" I said quietly to myself.

I heard distant screeching, a whistling noise of an incoming ballistic fireball…

Too fast for my eye to see, a tower close by was lit up in lavender-orange fire.

I panicked, and pulled the firing mechanism as I fell back, offsetting the aim.

"No!" I shouted.

The bola launched. I missed, because of my own stupid clumsiness.

"Yes, Hiccup the useless can't even kill a dragon using a machine. Why, you may ask, am I called Hiccup the useless? Because I'm use-"

I was cut off by a distant roar of pain.

My eyes widened at the site of an outline of a black dragon fell to the island…

"…less." I finished, not quite comprehending of the extreme deed I have just committed.

"…I hit it." I said to myself.

"I hit it…" I said again, confirming to myself that just happened.

"YES! I HIT IT!" I said with enormous excitement, ready to burst at the pure rush of both pride and happiness.

"Did anybody see that!" I asked, with a big grin as I turned around to see no Vikings in view…

… Of course no one was watching.

I suddenly heard the large 'CRUNCH' of wood snapping.

I turned around to see a very large and very angry Monstrous Nightmare, who had just stepped on my bola launcher, completely destroying it.

Yes, thank you Odin. I hit a Night Fury, and I also thought that I would hit a Night Fury if it was the last thing I did.

… And so you send a dragon to kill me shortly after.

Very funny, Odin. I'm glad you find my life so fun to toy with.

I took off in the opposite direction screaming, as the Nightmare was in close pursuit.

He had shot his fire once, and it had narrowly avoided my head.

I continued to run further into town, hoping that someone would distract it.

It continued to give chase, and it shot more fire in my direction, this time narrowly missing my torso, but catching my vest on fire.

While I ran, I quickly discarded the vest, and continued running.

Another shot of fire had hit my left foot, on the very heel. I hissed in pain as I tripped. I looked behind me to see the Nightmare getting VERY close.

I scrambled upwards, and limped behind a dragon torch, something we use to light up the sky to see any flyers.

Another blast of fire hit the back of the pole that holds up the massive torch, almost hitting my arms, and completely engulfing the base of the pole in flames.

I closed my eyes, knowing that its head was probably peering at me right now.

Great, can't wait to see mom.

Suddenly, a battle cry sounded, and I heard the sound of a large 'SMACK' behind me.

I opened my eyes to see Stoic the Vast, who had punched the Nightmare square in the face.

I turned to see the Nightmare, about to blast Stoic with fire, when it came up short, only releasing a small little spray of magma-like substance over the floor.

"You're all out." Stoic said quietly, as he raised his fists to fight the Nightmare.

Really? He's fighting it with his fists? We already know what you're capable of Stoic, now you are just being a show off.

Fighting a several hundred pound winged fire breathing beast with your bare hands, is something only Stoic could ever do… and win.

Stoic gave it fast blows to the head, expertly dodging any attack made by the Nightmare.

The Nightmare, knowing that it cannot win this battle without its fire, flew away for its life.

Stoic stood tall, and turned to the currently burning pole.

The pole then collapsed onto the turning portion, turning its foundation into ash. The dragon torch then rolled off of the top of the pole, and rolled down a hill.

... And soon after, I heard a large amount of crashing noises, and I saw several Nadders flying away with sheep soon after…

Well the captive's nets must have been hit on the way down…

Yes, one more thing to add to the list of things people will yell at me for.

I turned to Stoic, who had a face of burning red anger.

Ah, yes, there is one thing I had forgotten to mention earlier.

"Sorry… Dad…" I said to Stoic, my father.

Then we saw more Nadders with many more sheep, two of which are using their nets to carry three or four sheep.

Must have hit another captive net… How… Unlucky…

"…Okay but I hit a Night Fury." I said very quickly, not making eye contact.

Without hesitation, he grabbed me by the back of my shirt, and started dragging me to our house. I hissed at the pain of walking on a freshly burned foot.

"It's not like the last few times, dad! I really, actually hit it! You guys were busy, and I had a very clear shot!" I pleaded.

I recalled the memory of the outline falling, and I came up with a possible location.

"It went down! Just off Raven Point! Let's get a search party out there before it-"

"STOP!" Stoic shouted, letting go of me.

"Just… stop. Every time you step outside, disaster follows! Cam you not see that I have bigger problems? Winter is almost here, and I have an entire village to feed!"

I swallowed nervously…

"Between you and me, the village could go with a little less feeding…" I said quietly… even though the gasps of those gathered around made it very clear that it was heard.

"This isn't a joke, Hiccup!" He shouted, silencing me.

He sighed.

"Why can't you follow the simplest orders?" He asked.

"I-I can't stop myself! I see a dragon, and I just have to" I made a twisting motion with my hand, as if I was snapping a neck.

"kill it, you know? It's who I am, dad!" I finished.

He sighed yet again.

"Uhg, you are many things, Hiccup. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house." He told me.

No one knows how to encourage me quite like good ol' dad. I'm overflowing with self esteem now.

…Wow. Even in my thoughts, I'm sarcastic.

"… And make sure he gets there, I have his mess to clean up." Stoic told Gobber.

Gobber came behind me, and promptly batted the back of my head.

We walked through town, and we passed the other young bloods.

"Quite the performance." Tuffnut commented.

"I've never seen anybody mess up that badly. That helped!" Snoutlout said.

"Thank you, thank you. I was really trying." I said sarcastically.

The rest of them remained quiet as Gobber grabbed Snoutlout by the head, and threw him to the ground. He got up and continued laughing smugly as if nothing happened.

Gobber escorted me around the aftermath of the carnage, several bodies of both human and dragon lie around, more dragon than human. This would be heavy hitting on any spoiled twit from and English kingdom, because in their little lands, they don't have to fight for their lives and live with death every single day of their lives. To us, mornings like this are passed off almost casually.

At least if you aren't the one who lost someone.

I, being Hiccup, never exactly met many people. All the bodies around me are faceless dead being cleaned up to me, yet to someone else, they are their loving family members, reduced to nothing more than dragon chow.

Tragic, some of us deal with this much better than others.

The only blood you are allowed to be afraid of here, is your own.

The fear of death, the anger left from lost family, and general Viking stubbornness is a deadly combination.

They say in many lands that the best warrior is emotionless. To us Vikings, this is wrong. Loss and anger give you power.

My father seems to be killing dragons with no heart involved, but I know very well that as he kills, he thinks of mom.

Maybe I would be angrier if I ever knew my mother. She died in my birth. Maybe that's why I am such a disappointment to dad, as I was created, she was destroyed.

Poetic.

But I should know dad cares about me. He would never show it, and I understand that. We believe a good soldier is driven by emotion, but never shows it.

But that doesn't diminish the fact that he is so disappointed that I am not exactly like him. This is rather surprising, since my mother is a ruthless warrior, my father is a ruthless warrior, and their parents were ruthless warriors, and every generation of Viking on this island has been made of ruthless warriors.

I can almost swear that I was meant to be born in an English kingdom, where strength was unnecessary. But then, Odin pulls a prank and switches the labels on my birth.

Somewhere in a peaceful English kingdom right now, there is a gigantic ruthless killing machine wondering why he was born in such a place where he could never use what he was good at; killing.

As we walked, we saw the sun come up. About bloody time.

My father once said that the Vikings don't wait for the sun; the sun waits for the Vikings. I then questioned why we base our schedule off of something that is following us.

…I then got a sigh of annoyance. I have a nasty habit of asking a few too many questions at the wrong time.

…

"I really did hit a Night Fury." I told Gobber.

"Sure, Hiccup." He said, unconvinced.

"He never listens!" I said again, annoyed at the thought of my father.

"Well it runs in the family." Gobber said.

"-and when he does, it's always with this… disappointed scowl like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich." I continued.

We reached the house, and the charred remains of the door… at least all of it didn't burn down.

I stepped up on the porch, and did a mocking impersonation of Stoic.

"Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side! This here, this is a talking fishbone!" I said, mocking my dad's heavy accent.

"Now, yer thinking about this all wrong. It's not so much what you look like; it's what's inside that he can't stand." Gobber said, attempting to cheer me up… and clearly failing.

I gave him a look that I like to call; 'did you really just say that?'

"Thank you, for summing that up." I said dryly.

"Look, te' point is, stop trying so hard to be something you're not." He finished.

I rolled my eyes.

"I just want to be one of you guys…" I said, in a discouraged tone.

I walked into the house, and Gobber just let a sigh and walked away.

I sat down on a chair, took off the left fur boot that had been almost turned to ash due to the earlier burn.

I looked at my foot, to see it wasn't very bad. Quite a few blisters, but I'll live.

I've been through worse injuries… sadly caused by my own clumsiness.

I grabbed a small map, and put it into my jacket.

I ran out the back door of the house, towards raven point.

I do want to be one of them. But after this, I will be greater than all of them. They'll see.

Now everyone will wish they were Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, not the other way around.

I grinned to myself as I ran, thinking about what will happen after I find the Night Fury.

I opened the little map, drawn in charcoal.

Charcoal on a stick (or as it is properly named, a pencil) is much more efficient than an ink feather. Not exactly ideal for permanent writings, since you can rub it off with your sleeve.

I thought for a few brief moments, trying to remember exactly where I saw it fall…

That is impossible to tell… I do not know how big this thing is, so the outline of it falling could mean anywhere from just outside of the village to the other side of the island.

…Probably the other side of the island. My grandfather said Night Furies have to be big in order to conjure such a devastating blast.

Giant body, blood red hate-filled eyes, and midnight black scales. It shouldn't be too hard to find.

I just hope the bola still has it tied up…

Several hours have passed, and I haven't found anything!

I looked at the little map, and at all of the little cross marks that signify that I have searched that particular area.

I had met the final possible point of landing, and before looking up, I took a breath, closed my eyes, and silently prayed that the dragon would be there.

I opened my eyes, to see… nothing. Absolutely bloody nothing.

I let out a discouraged sigh, as I drew another cross marking this position…

Angry, I scribbled all over the map, threw the pencil into the map, and put the map in my vest.

"The Gods hate me." I said angrily to myself. Considering how unlucky this day, no my past existence has been, there is simply no other explanation

"Some people lose their knife or their mug… No not me! I manage to lose an entire dragon!" I said, as I angrily swatted away a branch in my path, only for it to swing back and hit me in the face.

"Thank you again, Odin!" I shouted, holding my eye.

I paused for a few seconds.

"I really need to stop talking to myself…" I said quietly as I looked at the branch that smacked me across the face.

It was part of a collapsed tree… It couldn't be a Timberjack, if it was, the cut would be clean, and the entire forest would be this way, plus Timberjacks are only found further south, in an area known as the land of the dead forests.

I looked at where the tree had fallen, and saw a large path of destruction… almost as if something-

…crash landed here.

I looked closer on the base of the tree, and saw a large claw mark. Defiantly not Monstrous Nightmare or Zippleback scratches…

I walked down the little path of destruction, and found that it ramped off of a little hill. I peered over the hill, and ducked my head at the sight of…

A slick, black dragon…

I raised my head slowly, and fumbled around my vest and my belt looking for my lucky knife. I drew the knife, and continued.

I looked at it, it was defiantly tangled in the bola, and a few large rocks were just before its path.

If it's not dead from that, it must be in a LOT of pain from smashing into those things.

I scurried to one of the large rocks, and hid behind it, just in case it was alive, and was able to get out.

I walked out from the rock, and saw no breathing or movement from the dragon.

From here, I could see in detail what the dragon looked like. Well, almost. Half of it was covered or tangled behind it. I suppose I can look further into its appearance once I've skinned it.

From what I could see, it was heavily wounded. There was blood all over the dirt; one of its paws was bent into a strange position… although I'm not sure if it's supposed to be like that. It had large gashes on its chest and abdominal area, and a lot of its scales on its side were pulled off in the crash. I could see little black scales along the crash trail, now that I remember. They shimmered with crimson when in sunlight. If it didn't die from the crash, it died from the blood loss.

"Oh my- wow… I-I-I did it!" I said to myself, not quite able to believe what I am seeing.

I imagined it so much bigger… Granted, it's at least three times my size, but the legendary Night Fury was prophesied to be larger than twenty full grown men combined.

"Oh, I-I did it! This fixes everything! Yes!" I said enthusiastically, silently thanking Odin.

"I have brought down this mighty beast!" I said, putting my foot onto the corpse's leg.

… Then the 'corpse' shook my leg off.

I jumped back in fright from the sudden movement of the suddenly alive dragon.

With my back against a rock, I pointed my knife at it, shaking.

It took every ounce of willpower I had to step forward to such a legendary beast. For all I knew, it could conjure lightning bolts, teleport, or even kill me just by looking into its eyes!

I treaded carefully towards the heavily-breathing creature, knife in front.

With my last thought, I'm not sure what condemned me to look at its eye, but I did.

My eyes slowly met it's…

It's… it's nothing like my grandfather described. They were not blood red, filled with hate for all of humanity. They were green, cat like eyes, but most characteristically, how filled to the brim with fear those eyes were.

Its breathing, its stare, its behavior… This mighty beast fears me! Me! Hiccup the useless!

-and yet… I do not feel very glorious about it. As it continued to stare at me, the more nervous I became.

I took a few deep breaths, and called anger to my heart, thinking that this will lessen the fear.

"I-I'm going to kill you dragon…" I said quietly…

"I'm gonna- then I'm going to cut out your heart, and bring it to my father…" I continued to it, knowing it probably couldn't understand me. I turned my blade into a stabbing position.

"I am a Viking…" I said quietly to myself. GET ANGRY! SHOW NO MERCY

"I AM A VIKING!" I had shouted at the dragon. In response, it moaned slightly.

I continued breathing, calling hate into my heart, calling will, calling strength, as I raised my knife above my head, closing my eyes.

And yet, no matter how much I tried to be filled with hate, and anger, I couldn't hide my ever-growing fear. It was tied up, I was not. It is defenseless, I am not. I can kill it, it cannot kill me… So why am I so afraid!

I reluctantly opened my eyes, and gazed at the dragon's eyes yet again.

It… It is much more afraid than I am. It gazes at me, and it sees the end of its life. I can feel it. I can sense the sheer terror coming from such a merciless killing machine.

It's afraid to die.

I shook my head of my thoughts, closed my eyes, and was ready to deliver the killing blow…

And I opened my eyes again, and the beast's eyes did not meet mine again.

It had lowered its head, and closed its eyes.

It was afraid to die, and yet it accepted it. It knew of its fate, and did not fight.

I closed my eyes again, so only the stressed breathing of the beast bothered my senses.

I sucked in my breath, and tensed… and…

My hands dropped, resting the knife upon my head.

I can't do it.

I… I simply can't.

I don't know why, I just do not have the will… I… I will not kill this dragon.

I looked closer at the wounds of the dragon, the blood that stained the ground I stand on, the stressed breathing of this suffering creature… Whether or not it is a dragon, it feels pain, and fear, and… it feels.

Even though it was a legendary creature, a creature that had been torturing and killing my family for several years, a creature, that if I kill, I could become a legend…

I felt guilt.

Guilty of bringing so much suffering to another living being…

"I did this…" I said to no one in particular…

Perhaps Gobber was right… I shouldn't try to be something I'm not. And no matter how hard I try… I'm never going to get the willpower to endow suffering onto another creature.

As I began to walk away, something stopped me…

…If that dragon couldn't escape after that many hours, and if he's bleeding that much, he will be trapped here. He will either starve to death or bleed to death.

As much as my common sense was telling me to stop, I needed to free it.

It seemed too wounded to do anything right after I free it, so I could cut the ropes, run away, and have the sense of satisfaction of being the first one to see a Night Fury.

I used the knife, and began cutting the ropes.

One rope was cut, and I could hear that the creature's steady breathing stopped.

The second rope was cut, and the ropes around its legs loosened.

The third rope was cut, and the dragon jumped me before I could react.

It had spun to its feet at incredible speeds, its good paw both disarmed me, and pinned my neck to the wall…

I both got the wind knocked out of me, and the shit scared out of me.

It held me against the rock, and our eyes met again. But the eyes I saw were no longer fearful, but rather filled with sheering anger.

It continued to hold me in place, I was far too scared to scream, or do anything for that matter. I felt its claws dig into my collar bone, and touch my neck.

Yet something else was in those eyes... Not murderous rage, but rather… hesitance.

…Then the dragon opened its mouth and narrowed its eyes…

My mistake! It was murderous rage!

Does this count as a battle? Do I get to go to Valhalla?

I closed my eyes, as it let out a deafening roar right into my face. When I opened my eyes, it was gone, and all I heard were roars in the distance.

... The legend is correct; it is the offspring of lightning.

Yet I do not appear to be dead or dying… Wait… That means…

It let me live.

Maybe Odin doesn't hate me. He just really despises me.

I got up, picking up my knife, unbelieving of what just happened.

I walked a few steps before all the blood left my legs; I dropped my knife, fell face first onto the floor, and fainted.

I opened my eyes several hours later… I think.

The sun was far west, so it was time to get home. I got up, dusted myself off, grabbed my knife, and began walking.

What was going through my head while I was walking was a blur, but all I knew, is that I couldn't quite believe what had happened.

I made it inside of the village right after nightfall, and went to my house.

I noticed the door was back, and the chars on the frame were patched. We here at Berk are incredibly fast builders.

The village is seven generations old, yet every building is new… due to the dragons.

You can't expect wooden houses to last very long when your area is inhabited by fire breathing dragons. So we learned how to build. Fast.

With five men, a house frame could be done in one day. Walls, floor, and ceiling in two days. Furniture and living quarters in three days.

I walked inside, and closed the door quietly.

I saw my father poking at a fire, so I tried to slip by him and get up the stairs quietly.

"Hiccup." He stated, as I was half way up the stairs.

"Dad, uhh…" I said quietly, as I stopped and faced him, and he faced me.

"I need to talk to you dad." I said, recalling the events this morning.

"I need to speak with you as well, son." He said.

We both inhaled deeply.

"I don't want to fight dragons." I said, and he had said something at the same time.

"What?" We both asked each other.

"You go first." Dad said.

"No, no you go first." I told him, as I lowered from the steps.

"All right… You get your wish. Dragon training… You start in the morning." He said.

"Oh, man. I should've gone first." I said quickly.

"Because I was thinking… You know, we have a surplus of dragon-fighting Vikings, but… do we have enough bread making Vikings, or home repair Vikings?"

"You'll need this." Dad said, ignoring me as he dropped a large, heavy axe in my arms.

"I-I don't want to fight dragons." I said, holding the axe.

"Come on. Yes, you do!" He said, chuckling.

"Rephrase. Dad, I can't kill dragons." I tried to tell him, as he turned his back.

"But you will kill dragons!" He tried to encourage me… Not helping very much.

"No, I'm really, very extra sure that I won't." I tried to convince him.

"It's time, Hiccup." He said, turning to me again.

"Can you not hear me!" I asked, frustrated.

"This is serious, son." He said, as he continued to ignore my pleads.

"When you carry this axe…" He said as he took the axe from my arms and held it with one arm.

"You carry all of us with you." He said, putting it back into my arms.

"Which means you walk like us-" He said, correcting my posture.

"You talk like us… You think like us." He said, gesturing to his head.

"No more of… This." He said, gesturing to me.

"You just gestured to all of me." I said dryly.

"Deal?" He asked.

"This conversation is feeling very one-sided."

"Deal!" He asked again, louder.

I sighed, defeated…

"Deal…" I said.

"Good." He sighed, and grabbed a large sack behind him.

"Train hard. I'll be back… probably." He said, as he grabbed his horned helmet, and started walking to the door.

Where is he goi- oh wait. It's time for our annual 'hunt.' Since June is our only month of no snow or ice, the Vikings take advantage of this, and set the ships off to find the dragon source, and destroy the nest.

Or at least we think there is a nest. They all come from one particular direction, generally past the area in which we have named 'Helheim's Gate' because of all of the people who had died there.

Somehow my father always comes back alive. Even if they did sink his ship, he is strong enough to swim back. Some might say that's impossible, but they have not met dad.

"…And I'll be here… maybe." I said he walked out the door.

We Vikings aren't very good with 'hellos' and 'goodbyes.'

I went upstairs… Well today has been an interesting day. I'm the very first person to ever see a Night Fury… and no one would believe me even if I told them.

I sighed. Well it always was my dream since I was eight. Back when it was first sighted.

The Viking's world was set upside down as they saw their buildings be pounded into dust by an unseen offender. Most believed it was Zeus hurling thunder bolts.

The elder says that the Night Furies live in a very far away land, and should not be here.

That means the one I shot down is the only Night Fury in this land.

I wonder why it came here, eight years ago.

And how, in a matter of eight years, did it become more legendary than any of the dragons we have been fighting for 350 years.

Most Vikings live for 50 years, and the elder has lived for a whopping 75 years, which is why she knows best. She is the one who decides the trainee graduate every year.

I sat onto my bed, took off my boots, and my vest, and lied- OW!

I hit my head on the headboard again!

That's it. I'm removing that first thing tomorrow…

Don't forget to review! And remember, I may respond to you on the chapter you reviewed on, so check back if you asked for a response.

Tagesh
2011-10-24 . chapter 3

That was a fun chapter, and I agree with Cocoasit that your writing style is very good. I was particularly interested in the thoughts you added to the narration, and the humour as well. I guess I'd take being despised by Odin rather that out-right hated. ;-).

Cheers, T.

My reply

I'm glad you enjoy reading my story as much as I enjoy writing it. Thank you.

And I enjoy adding Hiccups thoughts into the picture as well. I do this for a reason. I feel without insight from the character, the character becomes a cardboard cutout mindlessly following your story line without thought, which can lead to many plot holes and can make him a generally unlikable character. I want to avoid this by adding his thoughts, personal feelings, and sometimes just little humorous tidbits to make the reader smile. Hiccup has an established personality, and I wish to keep him in character.

Cocoasit
2011-10-23 . chapter 3

I adore this story. It is a COMPLETE mystery to me why you don't have like, ten times the reviews. Your detail and grammar is amazing, and I love the further insight into characters. I personally love darker takes on HTTYD, and I don't mind one bit more mature and goring things. In fact, I can't wait to see how you deviate from the movie- the more the better in my opinion!

I really liked Toothless' chapter, btw. Its my favorite so far.

I hope more people take the chance to read this soon. You deserve a bunch more praise! Next chapter please!

My Reply

I really don't have much to reply, I just wanted to personally thank you for making my day.

TreepeltA113
2011-10-25 . chapter 3

Wow! That was really strong and a good representation of the movie. I really liked it. It was a little different from the last two chapters; you added more breaks this time. I sort of liked the last couple better; it seemed more natural for you to tell the story that way.

...

ALL RIGHT! Sorry, this little pet peeve is bugging me. Really, ignore this if you want, but Vikings do not use the English alphabet, true? Therefore, the marks would not be X's. They would be...marks. Just had to get that out.

That was a petty concern. Continue, please.:3

My Reply

...Oh wow, you're right. I'd better change that.

I'll bet in the near future, someone will be reading this reply, and wonder what you were talking about.

Oh, and I do the line breaks because it would be no fun writing every detail of searching the island, and it would be really boring reading that... Generally I use line breaks to skip past an area in which absolutely NOTHING happens. The last few chapters didn't have as many simply because there wasn't reason to have many. No large time skips, since the first chapter takes place within one hour of time, and the second only takes place within a few hours. This chapter takes up an entire day... You see my point.

Fjord Mustang

2011-10-29 . chapter 3

Sorry I have not reviewed on this sooner. I've been enjoying your chapters. You have really been adding some nice extra insights and back story to Hiccup and Toothless' viewpoints. I love the sarcasm and sensitivity both have. Hiccup's disgust for the English lands (Anglo Saxons?) is hilarious, especially his worry that he was switched at birth and was really English- all as a pratical joke of the gods.

Hiccup actually comes across as warm natured as he was in the movie. I still am laughing at his comments that he even thinks in sarcasm. And his realizations when he encounters the downed Night Fury and that he cannot see a living creature suffer that way- that was a vital point to his personality.

I like Toothless' POV, too. My fanfic has mostly been showing his POV. He proves to be much like Hiccup in personality with his interesting curiosity and observations abotu humans. Plus he's tough on himself- he has to be. It would be interesting if you have a backstory on him, as Hiccup indicates he's sure Night Furies come from far away.

I also thought it neat that you put in a lot of noise-sounds into your story, especially in Toothless' point of view. A dragon might notice strange sounds in much more detail than a human would.

The darker, more gritty aspects are realistic, and I appreciate they are not over the top gore. They are just detailed enough to get across how serious or dangerous the situation is.

One critique I do have is that the story seems to shift from present tense to past tense frequently, often within the same paragraph. It would be easier to read if you could keep it in the same tense.

Otherwise, this is a quite insightful retelling of the movie. I look forward to your next chapters.

My Reply

Sorry it took so long to write a reply, it's for generally the same reason as to why chapter four took so long. All I can really say is that i'm pleasantly surprised that you have taken a liking to my story. After all, your story "To Soar into the Sunset: A Night Fury's Odd Memoir" is the very first story I read on this site, and inspired me to write one of my own. I am aware of the past/present tense problem, and I will try to catch myself while I do it in later chapters. I will also fix the previous chapters when I find the time. When I write, I go into a trance of some sort, so it makes it difficult for me to catch things like that

Thank you for the kind review, and I hope I did not have you wait too long.