A/N - This was supposed to be two different chapters, but I decided to take pity on all of the readers and push these two chapters into one. Thank me later or don't thank me at all, whatever floats your canoe. Read, review, enjoy.
Barely restrained frustration hissed through Jane's lungs with each tight breath as she continued to stare confusedly at her cell phone. Despite her best judgment, she couldn't stop thinking that Maura had blown her off. Their relationship with each other was tenuous, at best, so it was hardly a surprise that Maura could maybe have other plans but that hardly helped stem the tide of jealousy that threatened to overtake her.
"When's the last time you cleaned in here?" Angela exclaimed, her voice reverberating off the walls as Jane began getting up from her bed. There was hardly any point in trying to ignore her mother; it was a battle that couldn't be won. "It's beyond disgusting in here…I'm surprised you don't have rats living in these dusty pans. Sometimes I can't help wondering how much better you'd be if you had a man to take care of you-"
"Mom, please, let's not go down that familiar line of discussion again. I know that you're trying to help, but your kind of help tends to be stressful." Jane interrupted, throwing her cell phone in the general direction of the couch. "I don't even know why you're looking at my dust-covered kitchenware. I'm a homicide detective, not Rachael Ray. With my limited free-time, do you really think I'm going to spend it sharpening up my cooking skills? You're the only one who seems to care that I can't cook a five-course meal."
The smell of disinfectant was added to the stale atmosphere of the apartment as Jane's mother began cleaning the various pots and pans covered in a thick layer of dusty refuse that had accumulated over the years. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you. It's almost as if you like being alone with nothing but a dog to keep you company but, honey, how will a dog keep you warm at night? If you had a young man to take care of you, someone who understands your life and is willing to work around that-"
A series of strangled coughs burbled from Jane's throat, the image of Maura's shaking body on that night last month working its way through her flimsy mental defenses. "Is it really such a big deal if I don't find a man to 'take care of me' like I'm a damsel in distress?"
"Honey," Angela started to plea, motherly concern evident with each firm wipe of the rag against the dirty pot currently being cleaned, "I'm worried about you. Is it too much for me to want my daughter to have a more traditional profession and have a man to come home to take care of her? Me and your father…things have always been rough with him, you know that, but…I just want to see you taken care of. I met a really nice man who's a nurse…"
"I don't want a man, ma!" Jane exclaimed exasperatedly, the tension from the last couple of months finally exploding in frustration. "All I want is…her. I've been fighting the obvious but…I can't anymore. All I want is Maura. Damn it, why am I such an idiot?"
The mid-afternoon air had descended into the typical cold evening that was common of a Boston night. Crossing across the boundary between her kitchen to the living room, Jane closed the windows with a brown eyes wandered in expectation from each of the economy vehicles populating the street below, hoping to see a certain cherry-red Aston that had been haunting Jane's dreams. Maura should be here, not my mother. The comforting weight of her badge and gun were vacant and, as her hands drifted to her side, she had never missed them more. I want to see her so much…god, where is she? And, more importantly, who's she with? Even her honed cop instincts couldn't solve the matters of her conflicted heart.
Booming force billowed from the slim brunette's frame, her turn from the window nearly caused her to fall as a sharp pain attacked her side. I have to get out of this apartment… Everything is reminding me of her, of what could have been if I'd been brave enough to go through with it. All I used to want was my gun and shield back, my identity returned, but, that's not enough anymore…God, I need to see her…
"Mom, um, I need to go. Could you show yourself out whenever you're finished cleaning, snooping, or whatever you want to call it today?" Jane said disinterestedly, grabbing her car keys and jacket off the counter before looking in the mass of sheets for her cell phone.
Angela's face registered surprise even as Jane began to walk out. "But I was going to make you some tomato soup…and, why do you need Maura? Did she forget to return something to you? Jane, you need to rest before you reopen your wound and pass out somewhere. If you end up in the hospital again…I don't know what I'll do."
"If you're so concerned for my safety, ma, why don't you go pray about it…silently…at your house? And, come on, you know I hate tomato soup. It's right up there with the pink canopy." She bantered back toward her mother's shocked face. "And, I promise I'll be okay, but I've got to do something that I should have done a long time ago."
With a small smile in her mother's general direction, Jane closed the door behind her before running down the stairs of her apartment complex. No longer was anxiety and indecision clogging her soul. Each extension of her long stride down the stairs that took her closer toward Maura pumped pure exhilaration into her welcoming body. I'm ready now, Maura. It took me awhile, but I'm ready to give you a decision. Please, wait just a little bit longer for me.
The pleasant sounds of friendly laughter blazed through the medical atmosphere of the morgue as Lt. Col. Elias MacFarlane looked earnestly through the chunks of autopsy records for the last couple of days. With a bashful smile, Maura continued to study the obvious confusion of the young officer, his face reflecting each emotional change in his mind.
Lithe fingers traced each name written in the elegant legible manuscript that was characteristic of Maura's hand and, with each movement, Elias's eyes narrowed in the striking planes of his beautiful face. Debating on whether she should help the young man investigate, Maura waited patiently for his request but no such response had been uttered from the man's lips.
"Elias," she said softly with a smile, "I can help you find the files for the officer you're looking for. At the very least, I can give you a specific date range to look in. Things would be much quicker for you and you could get back to your vacation time."
Motion stopped as a boyish tuft of auburn hair floated in his eyes, a quick hand pushing it back with little acknowledgement. "You know me far too well already, Maura. But are you sure I'm not keeping you from something? A young woman as beautiful as you must surely have several admirers interested in keeping your bed warm on a cold night. If you're lacking in that department…would it be too forward for me to offer my highly rated services? I'm only in town for a couple of days before I have to accompany the body back to Langley so I can be discreet."
A surprised laugh ran from Maura's lips. "Did you really take a moment of kindness into a polite request for a one night stand? I applaud your willingness to get down to business, it's quite impressive. Are you always like this or are you just trying to flatter me with your pretty words and Irish charm?"
"Darn, I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Now I'm woefully embarrassed," he muttered with mock sadness and a grin as Maura pulled out several files of the large stack before giving them to him, "but you can't blame a guy for trying. Normally that line pulls the women in with little effort…I guess it only works with the uniform, huh?"
"It's not as if I'm totally uninterested, it's just," she sighed, her eyes closing briefly, "things are sort of complicated. I really like you but I can't bare the pain of hurting her like that."
"Damn, the good ones are always off-limits…Well, at least I can be consolidated in the fact that your admirer is a woman. My boyish ego has been firmly reassured," Elias said good-naturedly before looking up from his significantly easier task of finding his fallen comrade's body.
Maura's smile dissipated as she slowly processed the weight of his words. Am I really off-limits? Being attracted to Jane didn't automatically make her unavailable to Elias but, despite the amazing feeling of being at ease with the young officer, Maura still wouldn't replace the craziness that Jane brought to her life for anything. Her earlier feelings of vindication were replaced with the sudden realization that she didn't just love Jane; she needed her in her life.
"Yeah," Maura acknowledged with a smile. "I guess I'm a little unavailable at the moment. I'm sorry for, um, leading you on like I did."
His face briefly lifted and the sapphire orbs captured Maura's attention for what felt like the tenth time that day. The sculptural magnificence of Elias's face softened minutely before his body leaned back in Maura's uncomfortable office chair.
"Don't be sorry. You're an attractive woman and I'm an attractive man in the peak of my physical performance," Elias stated simply as he subconsciously multitasked between finding the report of his fallen comrade and giving Maura the attention she deserved, "it's only natural for your body to respond to the biological responses our brains are sending, prolongation of the species and all of that nonsense."
Maura's shocked face and the silence that followed encouraged the young officer to lift his head again. Another booming laugh shook the small office space. "I was hell-bent on going to medical school as a child but the duty of my country took me first…well, and the promise of a uniform to get all of the girls. That's all it took."
"You're kidding."
"Yeah…totally," he deadpanned as his hands grabbed a folder he had been looking at, "here's the report. He's listed as GF-8997T12; do you think you could do a rush on the release forms, Maura? I think all of these chemicals are making me tell all of my secrets."
She grabbed the file off the desk and began rustling in her desk for the necessary paperwork to release the body to Elias's care. Maura searched her organized file folders for the necessary forms, unbeknownst to the preoccupied doctor, her phone had begun to vibrate silently on her desk. Thinking it was unimportant; she continued retrieving the files without looking at the flashing image of Jane Rizzoli's name and number across her smartphone's screen.