Rating: T for something or other. I should really remove this part. I've stopped caring.

Summary: Puss in Boots, Death Note style. When a random miller side-character dies, Light is left with only the cat, Mello. But the cat may turn out to be the best pet of all.

Spoilers: Umm...Mello shows up...And...Not much else...

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and most of these fairy tales belong to Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm. Aka, not me.

Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, and plenty of OOCness

A/N: I wrote this all in a day while playing computer games! YAY! XD Another fanfic rushed, so please don't be mad if it sucks. If it's good, then you never heard me say those previous sentences in the AN.

So yeah! Another fic that doesn't completely star Light and L! GASP! Instead, Mello and Light will be the main characters! (Don't complain! Mello's awesome!)

Enjoy! (If you want to. I would hope that you'd want to enjoy it...)

Once upon a time...(Why bother...)

There was a miller who had three great sons. When this miller died, he left all of his stuff to his sons. The older two sons (who aren't that important to the story) were very well off, but the youngest son, Light, only got his father's cat.

"This is unfair!" Light complained one day, sitting on a stump in the woods. "My brothers got nice houses and stuff, but all I got was a cat! I'm going to die cold and alone in the woods!"

"Not on my watch!" proclaimed the cat, Mello, as he dashed forward to stand confidently in front of Light.

"You can talk??" Light gasped, shocked by this revelation. "A talking cat! Maybe I can sell you on the internet! People would pay a lot of money for a talking cat!"

"Do so and they will never find what's left of your dead corpse," Mello snarled, causing Light to immediately shut up. Satisfied with this silence, Mello continued, "But if you do whatever I say, I can make you rich!"

"Why should I trust you?" Light scoffed with a glare. Mello returned that very glare with one of his own.

"Because I have lethal weapons built into my fingertips." Mello explained, holding up a hand and revealing his claws. Light gulped, nodding.

"Okay, what do I do?"

"Get me a sack, some grains, and a pair of boots," Mello instructed. "And while you're at it, get me some chocolate."

Light hesitated for a moment. "Why?"

"Because I said so."

Light shrugged, deciding that it probably wasn't such a good idea to argue, and walked off to get the requested items. A half hour later, he returned to that same spot with a sack, some grain, a pair of bright red boots, and a bar of chocolate.

"Perfect!" Mello proclaimed, taking all of those items and grinning to himself. He then pulled on his new boots and strolled off into the woods to put his brilliant plan into action.

He tossed the grains into the bag and propped it open with a spare stick he found laying around. After a minute or two, a pair of young rabbits hopped into the bag and began eating the grains. At that moment, Mello pounced on the bag and held it shut, grinning triumphantly.

"Ha! I win! Cat beats rabbit!" he proclaimed, slinging the bag up over his shoulder before trotting away towards the city.

He got a lot of stares from the villagers (Being that he was a cat walking on two feet and carrying a wriggling sack behind him.), but he ignored them all and continued on his way. He headed straight to the castle, and then right up to the king's throne, presenting the two rabbits to the king.

"I bring to your majesty two small rabbits, a gift from my lord, Lord Light Yagami," Mello announced in a very polite and respectful tone. (It was really unlike him...)

"Well tell Lord Light that I accept his gift happily," the king said in return, giving Mello a small smile as the cat left.

Once Mello was gone, Princess L walked into the room, confused.

"Why the hell was that cat wearing boots?" L asked.

"I have no idea..." the king muttered, handing the two rabbits over to L. "Here, have these two bunnies."

"O-okay..." L stuttered, taking the two rabbits back to his room and putting them in a roomy cage. He named one of them Rabbit A, and the other Rabbit B. Then, on second thought, he named them Mr. Bunny and Mrs. Bunny and ordered one of the castle maids to take care of them.

Mello continued to bring the king gifts once a week for a month or so, all in the name of the great Lord Light. The king was greatly please by this each time. (Though L still only took care of the first two bunnies. The other animals...Got to see the marvelous kitchen of the castle...They also kept the chefs company during cooking time. Though they were worried that the hair would get in the food, the pets were too cute to get rid of.)

Then, one day, Mello went back to see Light and announced that it was now time for phase two of his devious little plot.

"Alright then," Light agreed without hesitation. "What's phase two?"

"You go take a bath in the river I tell you to and then just follow my lead," Mello explained, strolling off towards the river.

"Eww! A river? But there might be slugs or dirt or something icky in there!" Light protested, sticking out his tongue in disgust.

"Stop whining and take it like a man!" Mello yelled back at him.

"But I'm a teenager!"

"I don't care! Stop whining!"

So Light shut up and did as he was told, folding up his clothes and leaving the by a nearby tree before jumping into the river. He shivered instantly.

"The water's cold!" he complained.

Mello shrugged. "You'll get used to it," he said as he took Light's clothes and ran off, hiding them somewhere else. Light was about to argue, but remembered that this was all part of Mello's plan, and he should go along if he wanted to keep his face intact.

Exactly as Mello had predicted, the king's coach rode by at that moment, so the cat dashed up and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Help! Help! My Lord Light is drowning in the river!"

The king was startled, recognizing that name as the name of the person who had given him all those gifts. Immediately, he sent two of his guards to go rescue Light.

"By the way," Mello continued. "Some cruel thieves plundered my Lord Light's clothing. Would you happen to have any spare clothes?"

As it turned out, the king did have a spare outfit with him. So when the guards returned to the coach with Light (who wasn't wearing anything), he was given those clothes. He quickly changed, and as he did so was invited to join the king and the princess on their ride.

Light hastily agreed, hopping into the back seat where Princess L sat with his two rabbits on his lap.

"I completely agree, Mrs. Bunny," L said to the rabbit as Light entered, leaving everyone else totally confused.

Meanwhile, Mello ran ahead of the carriage to speak with the workers in the fields ahead. Within moments, he had persuaded (threatened) them into saying exactly what he told them to.

When they came upon the fields, Mello scurried back and proclaimed, "These are the wondrous fields that belong to none other than the great Lord Light!"

The king, curious, stopped the coach and asked on of the workers, "Who do these fields belong to?"

"They belong to the great Lord Light, your majesty!" the worker replied, exactly as he had been instructed to.

This continued for a couple fields past this. Mello would proclaim the fields to be Light's, the king would question a worker, and that worker would say that the field belonged to 'the great Lord Light.'

After the last field had been passed, Mello ran ahead once more to the castle of the giant, Misa. He walked inside and sat down in front of her, a smile on his face.

Misa blinked. "Who are you?"

"I'm Mello," he said, maintaining the smile. "I heard that you can turn into any animal!"

"I can!" Misa said, beaming. "Watch!" And with that, she transformed into a large dog, barking and scaring poor Mello. Then with a snicker, she changed back.

"See?"

"Yes, I see..." Mello muttered, shaking off his surprise. "But can you turn into a mouse? I was told that you could, but I don't buy it."

"Misa-Misa can turn into a mouse! It's easy!" And with that, she transformed into a small mouse. Mello then immediately cast a spell of his own, locking her in that form for eternity.

"Sorry Misa. I need to take your castle," he explained, throwing her outside where she then ran off into the fields.

At that point, the king's coach rode up and all it's passengers exited to see the marvelous castle.

"Why, Lord Light, is this your castle?" the king asked.

Light blinked, then saw Mello nodding 'yes'. "Yes, it is my castle," he answered.

"Let's go inside and feast!"

And so, everyone went into the castle and gobbled up the food that Misa had previously set up for a party with her girl friends.

"Lord Light, you are one awesome guy!" the king exclaimed. "It would be your loss and mine if you didn't marry the princess!"

"Heck yes it would be a loss!" Light proclaimed, turning to stare at L. "Marry me!"

"Sure!" L replied.

And so, the two of them got married and lived in Light's grand castle. Mello was treated as a prince with the best chocolate money could buy. Misa ran off and befriended many mice, and soon became the queen of all mice.

And everyone lived happily every after. (Except for Mr. Bunny and Mrs. Bunny, who got divorced and moved into separate cages.)

A/N: Would you like to know what Mrs. Bunny said that L agreed with? (You don't? Too bad, I'll say it anyway!) She said that Light was sexy. And of course, L agreed. Sadly, it resulted in Mr. Bunny demanding a divorce. T-T It's so sad.