Rating: T for mild language.
Summary: Peter Pan, Death Note style. L and his brothers are abducted from their home by a flying boy named Light, and have to face off against the evil CAPTAIN KIRA!
Spoilers: Uhh...Matt and Mello appear. That's it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note (Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do) and most of these fairy tales belong to Hans Christian Anderson or the Brothers Grimm. Aka, not me. I also don't own the Pirates of the Caribbean music. (Don't ask.)
Warning: Childish and stupid humor, LxLight, and plenty of OOCness
A/N: Being that yesterday was a holiday and I spent the day at my grandma's, this week's update was moved to Saturday. Which is today. Aren't you excited? (It's okay if you're not.)
I don't really like this one. It sounds weird to me. And it's not yaoi-riffic enough. T-T I apologize in advance. I hoep it doesn't suck too much or anything.
BY THE WAY...There may or may not be an update next week, and there definitely will not be an update the week after next week. Why? Because next Friday I leave for vacation, and I may or may not procrastinate things and not have time for it, and the Friday after that I'll still be on vacation. I'll resume when I get back though, which should be after that Friday. Have no fear!
For now, just enjoy these letters that I strategically placed in a senseless order in order to produce fanfiction-ness.
A short, short time ago in a galaxy not-so-far, far away...
There lived a mother who had three children, two boys and a daughter...
Actually, scratch that. She has three boys. They were named Matt, Mello, and L. And they all lived happily together like the perfect family that you see on TV. (Except you don't see the perfect families in TV much, since the dysfunctional ones are more funny.)
One night, as all the boys were sleeping in their beds (excluding L, who was just sitting there, awake) a strange figure flew in through the window. L blinked, staring at the boy who had just flown into their house in a very illogical way.
"Who are you?" he asked, speaking loud enough to wake up Matt and Mello.
"I'm Light!" he exclaimed, laughing in his odd little green costume. "I've come to whisk you all away to a land where kids never have to grow up and you can play all day!"
"Sounds pretty good to me," Mello muttered, just waking up. Matt yawned, and rubbed at his eyes.
"Sounds like kidnaping to me..." L muttered bitterly. Nonetheless, Light flew through the room and practically dragged all three boys out of their beds and out the window.
"We're on the third floor!" L exclaimed. "What is Light-kun thinking?!"
"We can fly!" Light exclaimed, letting them go. For no apparent reason, all three boys were able to float in midair.
"..." L remained speechless as he, Matt, and Mello flew along after Light.
However, Light's fairy sidekick, Misa-Bell, had become jealous of L's good looks (she knows a hot guy when she sees one) and worried that her crush, Light, might fall for him. So in order to keep Light from falling in love with L, she flew ahead to find the crew of small boys that Light was leading and warned them that the black-haired guy that Light was flying with was secretly a crow.
The children freaked out, and when they saw flying towards them, one of them shot an arrow at the 'crow'.
Sadly, the arrow hit L in the arm and he plummeted to the ground, Light diving to the ground after him. (Light's falling for him after all. Take that, Misa!)
Light managed to catch L (In a totally sexy and romantic fashion) before he hit the ground. Everything turned out okay. Well, aside from the fact that L had an arrow in his arm. Which Light noticed just then.
"OH MY GOSH!" he exclaimed, totally in shock. "Quick! Everyone! Build an entire house just for L so that we can take care of him!"
L blinked. "Wha–?" But before he could say anything more, all the boys had scrambled about and begun to find the supplies to build L his very own house. It took a while, but soon they had a miniature house. They practically tossed L inside and onto the bed to that he could recuperate.
"I will sit outside the door and wait until you're all better!" Light proclaimed valiantly, plopping down in front of the front door.
"It's an arrow wound!" L yelled from within. "It doesn't heal quickly! Just get me some bandages or something!"
At that, Light finally woke up and flew off to retrieve a first aid kit. Thankfully, the nearby StrawMart was having a clearance sale on first aid to make room for more straw, so Light was able to get the bandages and healing stuff there.
He flew as fast as he could (which was pretty fast) and brought the stuff to L. In about ten minutes or so, L's arm had been all bandaged up. Misa-Bell sat around and pouted the entire time, upset that he plan had failed.
When L's wound was wrapped up and he was feeling better, He immediately grabbed Mello and Matt, proclaiming that they were going to go home. Light pleaded that they stay, but L openly refused. (Matt and Mello stayed quiet, as the script told them to.)
Light stopped, appearing sad as L walked off with his brothers. But after a couple minutes, he stealthily chased after them.
Little did he know, the evil CAPTAIN KIRA (who isn't a cannibal) was out to get him. He sailed over in his magic ship (of death) and kidnaped all of the little boys there! Oh no!
Then, as a double whammy, he flew forward silently (as silently as a giant magic ship could) and passed up Light, instead sailing onwards to sail next to L, Matt, and Mello.
"Hello! I'm the evil Kira!" he announced. "I'm going to kidnap you, so get into the ship."
"Does everyone around here kidnap children?" L asked, sounding bored.
Kira blinked. "Noooooo...Just get on the ship!"
"No, I don't think I will."
"Oh you will," came Mello's voice from behind him. Confused, both L and Kira turned to look to see Mello glaring at L. "You're going to get on that damn ship and be kidnaped so that the plot can continue or there will be consequences. Dire consequences."
L paused, then nodded and hopped aboard without a word. Mello smirked and dragged Matt along for the ride. They were all forced down into the 'dungeon' area (which really looked more like some normal rooms just with the door locked) and left there.
However, Misa-Bell had flown ahead and seen the entire thing. Being completely devoted to her dear Light (even though she hated L), she sped back to tell him what had happened.
"LIGHT!" she screeched, hovering right in his face.
"What?" Light asked, panicked. (And also a bit annoyed from her loud, high-pitched shrieking.)
And Misa proceeded to tell him exactly what happened, talking at an insane speed so that Light could barely understand a word she was saying. Luckily, he was used to her frantic speech, and understood what she was saying.
"L's been kidnaped?" Light gasped. "TO THE RESCUE!" He ran back to the camp quickly, grabbing a sheet off of a bed and tying it around his neck as a flowing cape before flying off to save the day!
The giant magical ship wasn't hard to spot, and Light was soon on the right track. But along the way, he spotted a ticking alligator, ticking like it always did. A genius idea popped into his head at that moment: He could scare away annoying girls if he could tick like that alligator! He stopped for a moment, memorizing how the alligator ticked and easily managing to mimic it.
He didn't notice that he had continued ticking even while approaching the ship until all of the crew members flew into a panic, screaming something about an alligator coming to kill them all.
Light grinned, realizing that this was the perfect distraction. He snuck in, pickpocketed the keys from one of the pirates, and snuck into the area where the prisoner's were being kept. He quickly unlocked all the doors and released everyone, though he was especially happy to see L.
"Yay! You're safe!" he exclaimed, pulling L into a hug.
"I was kidnaped twice by two different people in the same night, But I'm safe," L replied, hugging Light back.
Everyone ran upstairs to find that all the pirates had jumped ship except for the notorious CAPTAIN KIRA!
"You will not win! L will be mine!" Kira exclaimed dramatically.
"NEVER!" Light yelled back. The two of them dramatically snatched two discarded swords off the ground and began to duel, the Pirates of the Caribbean theme played in the background.
L, Matt, and Mello watched in amazement as the two battled.
"I don't see how girls think that having boys fight over them is appealing," L commented, chewing on his thumb.
"Agreed," Mello and Matt both nodded.
The duel continued fiercely, But ended when Light managed to force Kira to the edge of the ship where the ticking alligator waited and knocked the sword out of the captain's hand.
"This is no fair!" Kira protested. "This is madness!"
"Madness?" Light inquired dramatically. He glanced back to L, Mello, and Matt. Mello nodded, but L simply sighed. Light shrugged, then turned back to Kira and yelled dramatically,
"This is NEVERLAND!"
Then he kicked Kira in the stomach, causing him to fall backwards and down to the waiting alligator. (This kick happened in slow motion, by the way.)
"I will be back!" Kira yelled as he swam away from the alligator in a very cartoon-like finale.
Light grinned and turned to L. "Since I won, I get to marry you!"
L shrugged and smiled. Being married to Light couldn't be all that bad. (As long as Misa would refrain from any attempts on his life) "All right then."
And so, L and Light got married and lived together in Neverland. Kira built himself a castle and lived in it, plotting Light's downfall. Misa went to live with Kira, since Light didn't like her. Mello and Matt went back home and lived happy lives.
And (almost) everyone lived happily ever after.
A/N: I don't know much about Peter Pan, so I did an online search, read up on the basics, then screwed with the storyline in my own special way. I don't really like this one much though. T-T It's not yaoi-riffic enough.
...Yelling 'CAPTAIN KIRA' like that made me think of Captain Planet. XD