Chapter 4

Leaving the Tower was like tearing the protective adhesive from an already festering wound and watching it weep.

It hurt.

It stung.

It bled furiously.

I was so used to being around others who loved me and suddenly I was on my own.

I was lonely. Weepy. I clung to Gar when he visited and he came a lot during those first few weeks. I clung to Silkie when he was not there. There were days I considered admitting defeat and just going home.

But I did not.

I got over it.

So few words for what was a trying time for me.

The change was gradual, of course. Wounds heal more deeply when they heal sedately. Every day, I got a little better, a little happier, a little more comfortable with who I was.

Jade City was a garden city. So many beautiful place to visit. Beaches and gardens with massive trees and parks and flowers everywhere.

I took the civilian name of Kory Anders, not that it mattered too much, my eyes and skin and hair are most tell-tale, they betray me quite easily but then I was not trying to hide, simply rediscover myself.

There were few metacriminals in Jade City for me to handle (and I was most efficient in handling the ones that did appear). Control Freak does not count, he moved to Jade within weeks and his nefarious plans involved asking me out on dates. I still flew as Starfire above their heads at night to assist with the petty crimes. Theft and attempted rapes, the few attempted murders and riots that might have occurred were it not for my presence.

By day, I worked part time in a florist, The Gentle Bloom, a family run business who did not mind if I suddenly had to leave. They quite enjoyed the free publicity that went with employing someone like me. Some people paid extra to have their flowers hand delivered by Starfire and I did not mind.

I went to College to continue my studies, finding that I liked the campus in Jade more than I had in Jump. The people were most friendly and I was not immediately associated with Robin. Which I found to be a relief. I made new friends and remembered my old ones. I enjoyed life.

In the morning, before the sun had risen, I would go jogging. I would run along the weaving paths and smile and nod at the other joggers using the paths. I would return home to shower and change before I would walk the several blocks between my apartment and the florist.

On Tuesday's, I would head into Starbucks and purchase three lattes, a capuchin, a black coffee, a 'mustardino', two bagels, a jam filled donuts and a cream bun on the way to work, to which I would deliver to our neighbouring shops, we were a close knit community. I liked that everyone looked out for everyone else.

One shop near us was a small business accountant. I was friendly the receptionist, a girl called Mandy. She always turned up to work extra early to prepare for the day, where as I was early to unloading the flower deliveries of the day. Monday's was her turn to do the coffee run.

Wednesday's person was Andy from the dry cleaners opposite us. Thursday was Jeff from the News Stand. If any of us worked on Saturday, we ordered our own coffee.

The shop on the other side of the florist was a photography studio run by a woman called Donna, who was Friday's coffee run. Donna was only two years older than I was and she was the instigator in most of my metamorphosis. She had a standing weekly order of flowers from us, as did several shops around us, but Donna was special. She did not seem to mind that I was a hero, who could fly, cast starbolts, was extra strong and had a unique way of speaking. She did not ask questions about the Titans like everyone else did. We became fast friends.

In the beginning, Donna would take me sight-seeing around Jade City. She was not native to America either and so was eager to impart what she had learned. She would drag me along dancing in clubs on Friday nights. She had a boyfriend called Terry, a professor who did not like to go out, so she was glad for the company, and he was glad to have someone like me to spend her time with.

She insisted I accompanied her to the Farmer's Markets on Sunday mornings, or visit the soup kitchens to feed the homeless. I would have dinner at her apartment at least once a week and we would paint our nails and have the girl talk. She was so open and friendly, integrating me into her life so I did not have time to feel lonely or sick for my home.

It came as a surprise when she told me who she was. Magical clone to Wonder Woman and an Amazon herself, Donna acted infrequently as a hero under the name of Troia. She was keeping a low profile, at Wonder Woman's request because of some evil God, to which she could not go into detail. She had considered it her retirement permanent until my arrival in Jade City. She said that was one of the reasons why she had sought to become my friend when the opportunity rose, we shared a kinship.

Terry did know of her abilities and appeared to accept them but they never seemed to talk about it much, at least not around me. Troia would occasionally join me in my patrols of the city and I knew I could count on her assistance if there was ever cause.

Gar was a frequent visitor at my little apartment. Often he would come down and spend the weekend with me, sleeping in the guest room. Some of the time Cyborg came with him, but the majority was just him.

We would watch the DVDs and talk and laugh and go for sundaes. We would cook together and I would laugh when he would get flour on his nose. And he would answer by dapping mine with gravy or sauce. Once we spent several hours carefully baking a layered cake, only to have the whole thing have a texture akin to the Earthen rubber. Gar carted it out to my balcony and dropped it over the edge in an attempt to see if it would bounce.

It did not.

At night, we would sit on my balcony and watch the stars and talk. I never felt more at peace during those moments.

We never talked about that kiss or beginning a relationship although I believe he wanted to. I did so enjoy his company. It was nice, just the two of us.

He would fall asleep on my couch and I would watch him sleep and wonder.

Out of all the Titans, I missed him the most.

Raven came as frequently as she could. Now that I was out of the Tower, there was little chance our conversations would be interrupted by Robin or an alert, so we were trying to make the most of it. She mentioned she enjoyed seeing me so relaxed here. I was glad for the chance to reconnect.

Robin, who liked to be called Dick now, visited once every few months, although he did often call to check in on me. At first, he tried to convince me to return to the Tower, but as my flat began to fill with personal items and I started talking of the friends I had made, he gradually accepted that I had moved on from my life as a Titan. Once or twice he made mentions of starting a Tower here too, that there might be others interested in renewing their hero life, but nothing ever came from it. I reminded him that I was still a part of the Network, I still patrolled and answered alerts and returned to the Tower for meetings and get togethers.

Cyborg told me of a little of life in the Tower after I left. He told me about how Dick and Raven started sharing a room and were now sharing kisses more openly. He also said when they fought, usually about how much time Raven spent meditating or Dick spent brooding or in Gotham, things would explode in the Tower and the atmosphere would be gloomy for days. He said things were not as happy without me there, the sunlight was missing and there was no one to balance Raven's darkness or Dick's brooding nature but he and Gar tried to keep it together. Which was fine, we had all expected things to change and after a while, with Kid Flash and Jinx started spending more time at the Tower, the atmosphere seemed to settle again and balance returned.

I do not really know. Raven did not speak to me about Dick and I did not ask. I believe the term is 'a clean break'.

Jade City was good for me. I made a life for myself.

I was happy. Content. Whole. Healed.

"Smell this one," Donna said, passing me an odd looking red and ruffled fruit. She flicked her black hair over her shoulder as she picked up another one.

"I have not seen these before. It is most intriguing."

"They're called 'dragon fruit'," she explained, selecting several. "We don't get them very often 'cause they're really hard to grow. Need the tropics to grow properly. I looooove them. We used to have them at home all the time when I was younger. They taste... like a mixture of strawberries, watermelon and kiwi fruit."

"Where are they grown? I could fly and fetch you some."

Donna giggled at me. "If I was that desperate, I'd go get them myself," she said. "It's fine, I'll just pay this fine gentleman exuberant prices to keep bringing them in when he has them. Ta muchly," she told the farmer.

I purchased a few chilli peppers from the stall beside the fruit seller to munch on while we perused the markets. It was Friday afternoon, so there would only be a few permanent stalls here, just enough to purchase foods for tonight's dinner.

"You all ready for your birthday party?" Donna asked as we looked at the vegetable products at the next booth.

I wrinkled my nose. "I truly do not see the reason behind a yearly celebration."

"It's not a celebration for you, silly; it's for your friends. They want to drink free booze and eat all your food. Twenty is an important year to celebrate. You're only one year from twenty one."

"And how am I to purchase this booze?" I asked, rolling my eyes at her. "It is illegal."

"Not for me, I'll steal your monies, hook you up gangsta style," Donna said with a wink and did the hand movements to match the phrase.

I laughed. "'fo shizzle?"

"You're getting the hang of that. Terry and I will be over first thing tomorrow morning to help you set up."

I selected a few potatoes and a witlof. "Gar said he was coming to assist me."

"Did he?" Donna asked, suddenly sly.

I sighed. "Please, Donna, we're just friends."

"Yeah. Sure. I never see you light up as much as you do around him."

"Good friends," I said, choosing celery, some carrots and mushrooms.

"Uh-huh." She nudged me with her elbow. "So, for argument's sake, if I said I could set you up with a date tomorrow night-"

"No." I waited for the shop keep to tally up my purchases.

"You've not had a date in the entire time I've known you. Every time we go dancing, the guys fawn over you. You could be having sooooo much meaningless sex and yet you chose not to."

"It is my choice. I do not need to be defined by a boyfriend."

"But just think of the double dating we could do!" Donna exclaimed.

I laughed. "Oh, yes. I shall date him just so you can have the double date!"

"That's the spirit." Her cell rang and she fumbled in her handbag for it. "Hello honey! No, Kory and I are at the markets..." her eyes widened and she waved frantically in the direction of the fruit stall. "No, I didn't forget your bananas." She mouthed, "Can you please?" and held up four fingers.

I nodded and headed back with Donna trailing behind me. I listened to her conversation as I selected four bananas for her.

"Uh-huh... no... 'cause we're doing Kory's birthday party stuff in the morning... uh-huh. Yeah, sure, come on over tonight. I'll be home in an hour... yup... haha, yes, I'm aware you're only coming over for the bananas..." She flushed and giggled. "Terry! ...She says 'hey' too. Bye honey."

I giggled. "So, more than just the bananas."

"I'm getting laid tonight," she said as she paid the shop keep for the bananas. "We need to hurry though, my underwear doesn't match and I need to get my thongs out of the bathroom."

"Oh, woe, not the thongs!" I teased.

She gave me a flat look. "Like you don't take your underwear out of the bathroom when Gar stays over."

"That is different. He has never seen my underwear."

"Seriously?" she asked as we headed for the exit to the market. "You've never done the friends with benefits?"

"No. Virgin."

She stared at me. "You're kidding. You?"

I shrugged.

Donna shook her head at me. "Hera, we need to get you laid."

I laughed and kissed her cheek. "Goodbye, Donna," I said as I lifted off the ground.

"Tomorrow!" she called after me. "We'll be there at eight!"

"In the morning? On a Saturday?" I called back as I flew a figure eight above the heads of people in the market.

"Okay, okay. Ten! No later."

I laughed and waved at her as I few off in the direction of my apartment.

I stopped on the way to prevent a mugging and save a child who had followed a ball onto a road.

My beloved Silkie greeted me exuberantly as I alighted on the balcony, his little legs waving and making squeaking noises against the glass as he swiped it in an effort to get to me. "Hang on, hang on," I said, fumbling around in my handbag for my keys.

The door slid open. "Hey, birthday girl."

I paused, then beamed as I looked up. "Gar. You are early."

"Couldn't resist," he said, grinning cheekily at me. "Surprise."

"It is," I said and hugged him.

He squeezed me tight and then kissed my cheek. "Didn't think you'd mind."

"I had plans for the hot date."

Gar froze. "Really?"

I dug my hand into my shopping bag and pulled out the chilli peppers, grinning at him. "Hot enough?"

He laughed. "Very hot."

I giggled.

"How's your day?" he asked as he took my shopping from me.

"Good. Very busy," I said, taking off my shoes at the door to my balcony as he carted my shopping into the kitchen. Silkie wove around my feet, trying to trip me up and eventually plastered himself on my shin. "Silkie, down," I said sternly.

"I may have riled him up a little waiting for you," Gar said as he opened my refrigerator to put my purchases in the crisper.

"Just a little?"

"Only a tad."

I laughed as I put my handbag up on the hanger then scooped up my worm to give him a cuddle. "Donna and Terry are coming tomorrow to help with the decorations. And the booze."

"Nice one," Gar said with a laugh. "Cy's hooking you up too. He's got plans."

I closed my eyes and shook my head in humour. "I do the shuddering to think."

"I'm in charge of the tuneage," Gar said. "Got some funky songs lined up for us."

I nodded. "We shall need to move the furniture so we may have the dance floor."

"Between you and me, that'll be easy peasy."

"And I must put all my knacks of knick away so Speedy does not use them as target practice," I said, flopping on my sofa.

"Plenty of time to worry about party stuff, babe," Gar said, closing the fridge, then opened the cupboard above the stove to stow away my shopping bag. "We'll just pack it all in my bedroom."

I laughed at him. "You have claimed it, yes?"

"Yup. All mine. There's even stinky socks on the floor."

"Ahh," I said sagely. "I did wonder about the smell."

"You mean, Silkie didn't burp them up later for you? Silkie, bad boy. My training failed."

Silkie gave Gar a woeful look.

"You hurt his feelings," I said, tickling my worm's belly.

"He'll live." Gar plopped down on the sofa beside me and placed two sodas on the table. "Dick's probably going to turn up half drunk tomorrow. Or badly hung-over. He aced his police entrance exam and they're partying. Well, he and Wally are partying. Jinx and Raven are probably doing stroppy faces."

I had to laugh as he did his impression of them. "Good for him." I twisted, putting my shins across Gar's thighs so I could put my feet up.

"Don't tell him I told you."

"I shall be prepared to act shocked and amazed when he tells me. Will Raven go with him to Bludhaven?"

He hesitated. "Dunno. They're fighting about that a lot lately. Been trying to stay out of it."

That was news to me, Raven had come for girl talk just the last week, but she never mentioned having problems with Dick, but then we did not usually speak of him. "Oh... Is Sarah coming?"

Gar rested his hand on my shin. "I think Cy managed to convince her. It's getting serious between them by the looks."

I was pleased. "Good." I slid down a little, so I could rest my back more comfortably against the arm of the sofa. Silkie settled himself on my chest. "I think they are wonderful together."

"He's happy and that's just awesome. So, the big two-oh. I feel like I'm the only teen in the Teen Titans left."

"Kole. Jericho. Argent. You are not the only one. Besides, we have not been known as the Teen Titans for years, just the Titans."

He laughed. "True. Feel old yet?" he teased.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Not particularly."

"How old is that Tamaranian years?"

"Three hundred and thirty five. Or ten spacial years."

"Ye gods, Kory, you crone."

I snorted and hit him with my cushion.

"Not the face, not the face!" he complained, his face turned away and warding off my blows with his hand.

I huffed and stopped, rolling my eyes at him.

"So, what's for dinner?" he asked.

"Inviting yourself to dinner too, are you?"

"You know it."

"Come here, make yourself at home, sleep in and mess up my spare room and then expect me to make dinner for you," I teased. "The gall."

"Well, woman, you could make me a sammich."

He got belted for that too.

We got up a short time later to make dinner together. Vegetable stir fry with noodles, I was learning how to use a 'wok' and with fresh vegetables, it was usually delicious. Gar liked to cook, so when he came to stay, he normally took over cooking duties. Which is fine by me. I poured us a red wine each, courtesy of Cyborg's last visit, and sat on my kitchen bench to watch him.

"Your ass is taking up all my bench space," he complained as he worked around me.

I deliberately swung my legs so I could get in the way. "Deal with it."

"I'm trying to cook here," he returned.

"My kitchen, my rules," I quipped at him.

"It's not like you have to sit on the bench," he said. "You could just sit on the air. You know. Out of the way."

"I could," I said, then took a mouthful of wine, placing my glass back in the middle of his work area. "But that would be no fun."

"You have been spending way too much time with Donna," he said, eyeing me as he moved my glass away. "How come she didn't come for dinner?"

"She is getting laid."

Gar laughed. "Good for her. Gah! Staaaaaar!"

I giggled, hiding my stolen bag of mushrooms behind my back. "What?" I asked, innocent.

"Kay, that's it." He planted the knife down on the chopping board, grabbed at the bag with both hands. We scuffled, while I giggled and warded off his hands. It was an innocent, playful game, but somehow it shifted, especially when he nudged my legs apart with his hip so he could get in closer. One hand landed on my hip, the other caught the wrist of the hand holding the bag of mushrooms. As I turned my face toward him, my nose bumped his cheek.

We froze, caught. My eyes grew wide and my heart thudded. Our chests were pressed together as he leant against me, I could feel Gar's breathing hitch. I finally understood the phrase of being able to cut the tension with a knife.

We stared at each other. So close. It would be nothing to close the distance between us. Just a flinch. An idle thought. And we could start that something we should have started years ago.

I could see he wanted to. He flexed his hand on my hip, a small, involuntary movement. I wanted him too; my fingers and toes were curling with anticipation.

My phone rang, shattering the moment into a million tiny pieces.

One moment he was pressed against me, the next he was chopping vegetables again, the tips of his ears red and astutely ignoring me.

Bewildered and a little hurt, I headed for the phone. "Greetings, this is Kory."

"Heeeeeeey, gurl!" Cyborg said, exuberant.

I smiled. "Cyborg! What is 'the up'?"

"Gettin' ready for your party. We're headin' down first thing in the mornin', T-Car's all packed. Should hit Jade at 'bout two dependin' on traffic."

"Glorious. I cannot wait to see you."

"Hey, listen, would you mind if Sarah and I didn't crash at your place?"

"Oh?" I asked, intrigued. "I have plenty of the mattresses, if that is the problem."

"Need a little privacy for mah lady, that's all. We figured you were going to be inundated with drunken sleepers, so I booked a room at that hotel just around the corner. We'll come back for breakfast and to make loud noises."

I laughed. "Of course. That would be fine."

"B there? His bag's all packed in the car, but the grass stain himself vanished on me."

"Yes. I put him to work immediately. He looks most sexy in a pink filly apron."

"It's blue!" Gar yelled, grinning at me. "And she wouldn't make me a sammich."

Cyborg laughed. "Thought so. We'll see you two tomorrow then!"

"Goodbye, Cyborg," I said and hung up. "You left your bag with Cyborg?"

He shrugged and laughed. "I carried a knapsack in pterodactyl form, what more does he want?"

"Possibly to know you were going to vanish on him."

"He'll get over it. 'Sides, more room for Sarah and they get to stop for nookie on the way. I was thinking of him."

I giggled. "Of course."

Gar pointed his knife at me as I headed back around the kitchen bench. "You, out. Shoo. My kitchen. Distracting girl."

I mock pouted at him, but stayed out. Instead, I leant on the other side of the bench and watched him cook.