This may sound weird, but I would like to thank Pride3 for his/her honesty.S/he has excellent constructive criticism.Not only does s/he say that a chapter is lacking in,but s/he indicates what is lacking. I hope s/he will bear with me and continue to offer his/her candid feedback. Thank you.
Takes place around November of James and Lily's seventh year.
Lily looked up from her work as someone cleared his throat before her. Peter Pettigrew stood on the opposite side of her table, fidgeting with a piece of parchment in his hands.
"Yes?"
"Oh, uh, hi Lily. Um, James asked me to give this to you," he said in a rush. He thrust the parchment at her and hurried off before she could thank him. Lily frowned at the parchment, wondering if James was setting her up for a prank. Peter had appeared incredibly nervous about giving her a simple piece of parchment.
Carefully she unfolded the note. Meet me on the Quidditch pitch after practice. Wear something very warm. James.
She wondered what he wanted. They generally discussed Head's business in between classes or in the room set aside for the Head Boy and Head Girl.
Lily checked her watch; it was only a half an hour before the end of practice. What had taken Peter so long to give her the note? She decided to stop her homework and head out to catch the end of the practice. After all, it was a Friday evening and she had the entire weekend. She returned her things to her bag and stood.
"Where are you going?" asked Aura, glancing up from her work.
"James asked me to meet him."
"Oh. Head's business?"
Lily shrugged. "He asked me to meet him on the Quidditch pitch so I doubt it."
Aura nodded. "Oh, well then, have fun." She returned to her ancient runes text, quickly scribbling something in the margin of her textbook.
"Do you want to come?" asked Lily.
Aura shook her head. "No, you go on."
"Okay." She picked up her bag and went to her dormitory. She set her bag by her bed and changed into warmer robes before pulling on a cloak, hat, and scarf. Why had James felt it necessary to tell her to dress warmly? The weather had been cold for awhile now.
She returned downstairs to the common room and made sure at least one of the Gryffindor prefects was in the room. Carlotta, who was tutoring a third year, waved as Lily left through the portrait hole.
Lily arrived at the Quidditch pitch and made her way up into the Gryffindor stands. Over head, the Gryffindor team carried out a drill. Lily recognized James by his unruly black hair and glasses as he zoomed up the field, the quaffle clutched beneath his arm. One of the beaters sent a bludger rocketing toward him and he swerved, tossing the quaffle to Marlene in the same motion. She caught it and a fast paced volley took place between she and James until the third chaser appeared seemingly out of nowhere before the goal. Marlene had barely caught the ball before she hurled it to the third chaser who put it through the right hoop.
James called in the rest of the team. The two beaters captured the bludgers and returned them to a case before joining the rest of the team. He spoke to them for a few minutes before they all broke apart, most landing and heading for the changing rooms. Marlene flew over to Lily.
"Hey, Lils. What are you doing here?"
"Meeting James. Nice play."
Marlene laughed, pushing her windswept bangs from her eyes. "That's a basic one, Lily. Doesn't work too often on Ravenclaw. We just run it a few times to perfect it."
"Oh, I see."
"Well, I'm not going to keep you from your little rendezvous. If things get steamy, I'd suggest not using the Gryffindor changing room—someone always forgets something and has to come back." She winked at Lily and took off into a dive.
Lily sighed. When was Marlene going to get tired of insinuating a romantic relationship between her and James? She hurried down the stairs to meet James.
He was leaning against one of the goal posts. He attempted to smooth his hair as Lily got closer.
"So, you got my note?"
"Why wouldn't I have?"
"Well, when it comes to Peter, he can be a bit strange about talking to you. I was five minutes late to practice trying to persuade him to find you to give it to you."
"He did seem kind of nervous when he gave it to me," Lily recalled. "Why?"
"You can be intimidating," James said with a grin. "Good looks, brains, quick with a wand…"
"You can stop flirting, James," Lily laughed, though she was flattered.
"Not to mention one of the few people in this school who has actually carried out their threats against me and Sirius. Or actually, one of the few who has actually threatened us."
"Severus Snape has too," she pointed out.
"Yes well, that's entirely another matter."
"I don't—,"
"See why he's such a git? Ah ignorance is bliss sometimes," he teased.
Lily shook her head. "I'm not going to waste my breath arguing with you on that one. Obviously what I say falls on deaf ears. What did you want anyway?"
James blushed a little bit now. "I wanted to show you something."
"On the Quidditch pitch?" Lily raised an eyebrow.
"Er—no. In the air, actually." His broom jumped into his hand. Lily looked from his expectant expression to the broom and then back to him.
"No way you're getting me on that thing," she said stoutly.
"Just try it," he urged.
"Why?"
"Well, I guess, I guess I just want you to understand what it's like for me sometimes—why I like Quidditch so much. Why it's so important to me."
"That certainly is not the way to do it. I've flown before and it was not enjoyable at all. I'll keep my feet on the ground, thank you very much."
"Come on, just give it one more shot," James pleaded.
Lily frowned as something fluttered in her chest. As James had become more and more mature over the past year, it had become much more difficult for her to refuse him and pretend as if she simply tolerated him. Some days she just wanted to lean over and kiss him and get it all over with. Other times she was afraid what would happen if she did admit that she liked him. Would he lose interest once the triumph of the catch set in? Would she ever be more than just a goal? Lily was too afraid to find out and so every time something urged her toward him, she shrank back, placing a cool barrier between them. Yet each time she did so, James's confusion and hurt over her behavior bothered her until she was right back at wanting to kiss him.
"Fine," she snapped, holding her hand out for the broom.
He gave it to her and watched carefully as she mounted it and gripped the handle. James patiently showed her how to properly position her hands.
"Good," he said when she finally got it. "Now don't grip it too tightly or your arms lock up. You want your arms as loose as possible so that the motion of the broom is smoother. Why are you so tense?"
"Maybe because I'm entrusting you with my life," Lily replied, rolling her eyes. "I should probably be in St. Mungo's right now for such an insane notion."
"Lily, dear, you should have been in St. Mungo's psycho ward years ago. Your parents and professors just didn't have the heart to do that to you."
"Thanks," she said, dryly, "I'd've been insulted if you hadn't told me that I don't know how many times before."
James chuckled as he ran a hand through his hair. "Okay then, I think you're all set to take off."
Lily bit her lip, unsure how well her flying would go. While she could fly straight fairly decently, her heart threatened to beat through her chest each time she turned. She clenched and unclenched her hands on the handle.
Suddenly James swung his leg over the broom and wrapped his arms around her to grip the handle just ahead of her hands.
"What are you doing?" she cried, blushing at his warmth pressed against her back. "Get off, I can do it myself!"
James sighed. "You would be a whole lot better if you just admitted you were scared, Lily."
"I am not scared," she said a little too quickly. Her heart beat had sped up though and the blood pounded in her ears. This whole thing was a really bad idea.
"Just relax. Shut your eyes and count to three."
Lily did as he said, taking a deep breath.
"Ready?" he asked.
"For what?" she asked breathlessly.
"Lily, you're not relaxing."
"Oh, just get off, so I can get this over with."
"I'm going to kick off on the count of three," James said.
"But—,"
"One,"
"James, this broom,"
"two,"
"If you even,"
"Three."
She felt his legs give a powerful push and then they were rising into the air. Lily sucked in her breath as the wind rushed at them. "It holds both of us?" she gasped.
"Well, we're flying aren't we?"
"Shut up."
She gasped as he leaned slightly to the side, turning the broom. They looped around the pitch three times, James urging the broom faster each time. After her initial shock, Lily began to enjoy the flight. There was something comforting about having James behind her; a comfort that had not been there in her previous attempts at flight.
"Okay, now, I'm going to let you steer," James said, after their third loop. "Just remember that this is a Nimbus, you don't have to work so hard to move it like you had to on the school brooms first year. Got it?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Okay, it's all yours."
Lily found that the broom was indeed much easier to direct than the school brooms and every time she turned to hard, James gently and patiently corrected her course. After her fourth lap, Lily had the hang of moving the broom and the turns.
"Right then, I'll take over again," James said after awhile. "Maybe you'll see why I like flying so much now. Ready?"
Lily nodded and was startled to find herself grinning. "Ready."
The broom zipped off, slightly jolting her backward into James. They rushed toward the goal posts, everything about them a blur of color. James pulled the broom up higher and then curved over into a dive.
Lily laughed as her stomach fell away and they rushed toward the ground. She gripped her knees more tightly together. "Don't crash!" she cried over the rush of the wind.
"I'm not." He pulled out of the dive and they flew upward again, weaving toward the goal posts, around them, and then to the other end of the pitch.
Eventually James sped off toward the ground and brought the broom down carefully. He climbed off and Lily climbed off after him, her legs trembling from the flight and having been squeezed together so tightly.
She sat down, feeling oddly cold where James no longer sat behind her. She also noticed that her nose was numb and her teeth were chattering. She pulled out her wand and put a warming spell on her cloak.
"That was incredible," she sighed as James sat down beside her.
"That's kind of what it fells like for me every time I fly. It's cathartic at times and always thrilling. That's why I'm always so eager about Quidditch, why it means so much to me. I'm sorry if you sometimes feel as if I put Quidditch before my Head duties, but it's just that there's a kind of joy I find in flying that makes it seem as if I take it more seriously than my responsibilities as Head Boy."
Lily hesitantly laid a hand on his shoulder. "Look James, you shouldn't have to apologize. You have been as dedicated to your Head duties as you are to Quidditch—well, at least most of the time. I know I'm inflating your ego saying this, but I don't know how you do it, being Head Boy and Quidditch captain while still maintaining top marks."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about inflating my ego," quipped James. "I'm sure you'll find something to take it down a notch by tomorrow morning."
Lily chuckled as something fluttered in her chest again. There was that urge again, to just tell him how she felt. She didn't know how much longer she could hold it in. Was it worth holding in? By now she'd blown through all her excuses for not going out with James Potter. Maybe she ought to give it a try?
No, she decided. She was just high from the flying—that was all. If she said yes now, she'd probably regret it horribly tomorrow morning. The fluttering in her chest beat defiantly for a moment before she suppressed it once more. She looked at her watch.
"Oh my gosh, it's long past curfew!" she cried, leaping up. "How will it look if the Head Boy and Head Girl can't even make curfew!"
"Not very bad," surmised James, picking up his broom and standing up, "as everyone else ought to be in bed and won't see us come in. And in case we should run into anyone I have plan B."
"What would that be?" demanded Lily suspiciously.
"You'll find out if we need it," said James. "Come on, you don't want to be later than we already are."
They stopped through the changing rooms to pick up James's school bag before they hurried up to the castle. But rather than going up the front stairs, James moved into the shadows and mounted his broom.
"Get on," he whispered to Lily. "The front door is too obvious to open. We'll go in through the astronomy tower."
Lily nodded and climbed on in front of him. Once more they rose into the air, flying almost completely vertically up the castle wall before James brought them down on top of the astronomy tower.
He went to a door and quietly opened it. He listened for a moment before he motioned to Lily and they crept inside, pulling the door quietly shut behind them. They hurried down the stairs until they came out on the seventh floor.
They were hardly a few feet away from the Astronomy tower when a voice set their hearts racing and Lily gasped quietly. "Good evening, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. Lovely evening for a stroll, isn't it?"
Lily and James turned to face the headmaster. "Professor Dumbledore," Lily stuttered. "I—we,"
Dumbledore smiled serenely. "It is wonderful to see you two moving quietly through the halls with one another. Usually your presence is quite pronounced." His comment sounded less like a rebuke and more like an observation with a touch of amusement.
Both Lily and James blushed. "You see Professor, we're out of bed because—," started James.
Professor Dumbledore's eyes twinkled behind his half moon glasses. "I'm afraid Mr. Potter that from all appearances neither of you quite made it to bed. Well, good evening then, enjoy your stroll, though I do suggest you return to your common room shortly, as someone with authority might find reason to punish you." With that the man walked off cheerfully, whistling to himself.
James and Lily stared after him, stunned. "What—what happened to plan B?" Lily hissed finally.
"Er—well plan B included us hearing someone approach," muttered James. "C'mon before we actually get into trouble."
"You've never worried about that before," said Lily as they started out.
"Okay, don't you start going crazy on me too."
"How am I going crazy?"
"'You've never worried about that before'? Lily, you're supposed to be dragging me back to the common room, yelling at me for getting us caught."
She shrugged. "Oh well, I had my plan B, in case yours fell through."
"Obviously it wasn't any better than mine since it didn't work either."
"Well, I never got to try it out."
James stopped. "What was it?"
Lily grinned. "Blame it all on you. You lured me down to the Quidditch pitch, tied me to a pole, and left me there. Then you felt sorry for me and came back to get me."
James rolled his eyes. "Like any teacher would believe that!"
"If it came between you and me, I'd have to say I'd believe me over you."
"Of course you would! You're you."
"Uh, no. I was talking about our records. Mine is a lot cleaner than yours."
"You wouldn't have done that though. I mean, you're Lily Evans!" Despite his protest, he appeared slightly nervous, as if weighing the chances that she might actually have blamed everything on him.
She laughed softly. "Don't be so sure James. C'mon before we get caught again." She jogged off toward Gryffindor Tower.
He quickly outstripped her. "I'm not going to get caught but you might, slow poke," he whispered as he sprinted past her.
Lily sped up, but her legs couldn't keep up with James's; he was incredibly fast. When she finally arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady, Lily was breathing heavily and clutching at a stitch in her side. James was leaning against the wall, smirking at her. He wasn't even flushed from running.
"I see you didn't get caught," he whispered.
"Garden gnomes," Lily panted, glaring at him, and the Fat Lady swung open. She stumbled through and leaned against the first chair, trying to catch her breath.
"Really, you shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard; you knew you could never keep up," teased James as he climbed through after her. "It's nice to know there're still a few things I can do, which you can't."
"Okay, you don't have to rub it in," grumbled Lily. "Besides we weren't even racing; you were."
"Console yourself, however you like, I'm off to bed," replied James, yawning widely and strolling across the common room.
"You flew," Lily realized. "Cheater!"
James looked over his shoulder and grinned at her. "Remember Lily, we weren't even racing so technically I couldn't have cheated."
"Oh shut up and go to bed," she huffed. She headed off to the girls' stairs.
James chuckled. "G'night, sore loser."
Lily didn't reply.
"I said goodnight," he called after her.
She turned, lifting an eyebrow. "Oh were you talking to me?"
James grinned. "No one else was in the room."
"I am not a sore loser—you cheated."
"Sure, whatever floats your boat. Goodnight Lily."
"Goodnight, James."
Lily was startled to find everyone still awake when she reached her dormitory. Aura was reading through her ancient runes book on her bed while Carlotta, Marlene, and Freya, Lily's fifth roommate, were huddled on Marlene's bed .
"So what exactly has Lils been up to?" Marlene inquired with a wicked grin when she noticed Lily walk in.
Lily pressed her hands over her heart and closed her eyes, smiling widely as she inhaled. "He kissed me," she breathed.
"He what?" squealed Carlotta.
Lily opened her eyes and laughed. "Just kidding."
Aura studied her friend for a minute before she shook her head. "You're not going to be able to hold out much longer," she said before scratching her eyebrow and returning to her ancient runes book. She wanted to be a curse breaker or something along those lines after Hogwarts, but the N.E.W.T's for Arithmancy and Ancient Runes were incredibly demanding and she spent a great deal of time studying—even more than Lily.
Lily was startled by her friend's scarily astute observation. She tried to recall any hints she may have given to her true feelings for James, but couldn't think of any. Where had Aura drawn that conclusion from?
"Not everyone falls for James Potter's charm," Lily said lightly as she summoned her pajamas.
"Aura, she's not kidding about him kissing her," Marlene said. "Look at her hair. Nothing innocent happened when a girl's hair looks like that."
Lily went to her mirror. Indeed, her hair was tousled. She picked up her brush to smooth it out.
"So what happened?" pressed Carlotta.
"Oh I believe anything I tell you will be far less interesting than whatever you, Marlene and Freya concocted," Lily replied. "You're going to be disappointed when I tell you."
"I wouldn't mind hearing it anyway," Freya said quietly, leaning back against Marlene's pillows. "I mean, it's nice sometimes, just being able to get wrapped up in the small things in life."
The mood in the room became heavier as all the girls were once more reminded that life existed beyond Hogwarts. A life that was becoming filled with more turmoil, pain, and horror each month as the dark Lord Voldemort rapidly gathered power. Freya's mother, who had been a Hit-Witch in the Ministry, had been killed in the last term of the year before when the Ministry, under misinformation, had sent her after some supposed wizard criminals who turned out to be a group of Death Eaters. The squad of Hit Witches and Wizards she had been on had been blind-sided. While they took four Death Eaters down with them and exposed a few more, no one on the squad had survived.
Freya realized the weight she had drawn over the room and attempted to lighten the mood. "So-so if he didn't kiss you, what happened to your hair?"
"We were flying," Lily replied slowly. Her problems with James now seemed so trivial.
"Oh come on," Freya urged impatiently. "I didn't mean to say what I did. Look, you guys, we have to enjoy life while we've got it, right?"
"Sure," said Aura, nodding along. "C'mon Lily, tell us what happened."
So Lily explained what had happened from the moment she'd last seen Marlene to her entrance into the bedroom. By the end, the weight had dissipated as quickly as it had fallen.
"Well, I'd say there's definitely some sparks going off there," Marlene said at the finish. She was lying on her side, her bent arm supporting her head. "Sure, it's not as interesting as you and James having a heated make out session in the Gryffindor changing rooms, but it's a start."
"Marlene, you really need to get a boyfriend," Lily said with disgust.
"Lily's right," Carlotta said sharply. "You spend way too much of your time in our love lives."
Freya chuckled. "Carlotta you're just as interested in Lily's love life as Marlene is."
"There's so much drama in it, who wouldn't be? But there's a difference between wondering if your friend actually hates a guy or secretly likes him and wondering what they do when they're alone. I mean they're Head Boy and Girl. They probably talk about the most uninteresting stuff ever."
"On the other hand, they probably do have all the gossip," Freya pointed out.
"Which Lily never shares," Carlotta replied. "Or hints at if she knows any."
"If you all haven't noticed, it's much more enjoyable to deal with the dramas of someone else's love life than your own."
"Except that I don't have a love life," sighed Lily.
"You just choose not to," replied Marlene. "I'm sure James would fix that at the drop of a hat."
"Yeah, well, I don't really want to talk about it. He brings it up enough." Lily had put on her pajamas and was now climbing into bed. Marlene was right. The only thing keeping Lily from James was Lily herself. She'd dated before, but for some reason she'd never cared about her dates the way she cared about James. Maybe it was all just her imagination. Maybe she'd created some ideal relationship with James, some ideal James. Why did she care so much? Would it really hurt to say 'yes'? Wasn't saying yes and being disappointed by discovering the real James preferable to eluding him until he lost interest and then wondering what could have been?
Lily curled up under her covers, remembering his warmth at her back, his patience, and his encouragement.
"Are you okay, Lils?" Marlene asked.
"Yeah, I'm just tired." She saw Aura watching her discreetly and closed her eyes. Aura was right, she couldn't hold out much longer.
Shortly after Lily retired, goodnights were exchanged between the girls and the lights were dimmed. Lily drew her curtains and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest. She listened as one by one the other girls fell asleep. She knew Marlene was asleep when her friend's light snores filled the room. Carlotta slept when her bed fell silent after she stopped turning over to find a comfortable position. Then there was Freya who had acquired a habit of sobbing quietly in her sleep. Lily heard a bed creak slightly and a few seconds later her curtains were pulled apart and Aura climbed into her bed. Aura put a silencing charm over the bed.
"I knew you'd be up," she said quietly.
"How'd you know about how I felt about James?" Lily murmured.
"Simple observation."
"You seem to be the only one to pick up on it."
"That's because Marlene and Carlotta embellish it to the point that they make it seem implausible. Freya probably has an idea, but you know she won't say anything until she sees something to confirm her suspicions. You're also very good at pretending like he doesn't affect you."
"Not for much longer," Lily admitted ruefully. "But I've been resisting since our third year. I think I knew I liked him then but I didn't admit it to myself until fifth year."
Aura sat back, gazing at her friend's outline. "Lily, this might sound really strange, but I don't think you're dealing with a crush here. I don't think it's a thing where you'll wake up one day and realize all the stomach flip-flops and blushes are gone."
"So what is it then?"
Aura was silent for a while. "I think you need to find that out for yourself," she said finally. "Goodnight."
"Where are you going?"
"To bed, where else?"
"But—,"
"Lily I don't think I'm telling you anything new."
"Then why'd you come over?"
"To tell you to go to sleep because you already know what you're going to do. Now goodnight." She yawned widely. "I'm going to strangle Marlene the next time she wakes me up early." Aura climbed off the bed, waved her wand to take off the silencing charm and shuffled over to her own bed.
Lily lay back in the darkness. Over the years Aura had become more reserved and often seemed aloof from the concerns of her other friends. But for all her silence, she always knew exactly what her friends needed and when and how to be there for them.
Her thoughts turned to James and she smiled as she remembered his arms around her. For better or for worse, after four years, she was ready to take a risk on James Potter.
I've never asked for reviews for my other stories, but I am going to here because I know everything's kind of rocky. I'd like to hear what people have to say and how I can improve.