In the end I didn't go with anything too fashionable. The night of the concert I took a shower to wash away the grime of a day in the city, dried and curled my hair into loose waves, pulled on a pair of black skinny jeans, a denim wash button-up, and a pair of chuck taylor converse. I left the top three buttons undone on my button-up exposing a small 'v' of cleavage. I applied light make-up consisting of black eyeliner, mascara, and a touch of blush on my summer-tanned cheeks. I did a once over in the mirror, shoved my iPhone and money in my pocket, grabbed my keys, and was ready to go.
When Cat and I arrived at the venue it was chock-full of screaming 10-year-olds, oh how my sisters would kill to know I was here.
"Over here!" Cat yelled over the noise, pulling me towards a sign that read VIP. Once we were through security and the away from all the noise Cat let out a yelp of her own. "Can you believe it? We're going to meet Kendall, Logan, Carlos, and James!"
I hadn't told her that I had once been best friends with Logan nor that I had met all three boys when I was seventeen when it was all getting started.
As we waited in line with about 50 other lucky girls Cat and I made small talk with the mother behind us. She had entered a radio contest with no intentions of winning and then one day she got a call saying she was the lucky winner. Her two daughters were around the age of my own sister, they were wide eyed and hyper. Honestly, I felt bad for the mother.
As we neared the from of the line Cat said "Rachel, Logan is totally checking you out!"
I stole a glance behind me since I had my back towards them, but his eyes were fixated on the t-shirt he was signing for a fan.
"Uh, no he's not?" I asked.
"Yes he totally is! He keeps looking over here at you!"
"Sure Cat, sure." I reassured her. As our turn drew near I began to freak out in my mind. This was going to be a horrible disaster, I thought to myself.
Cat was the first of us to go, walking up to James, head held high, giant smile on her face. By the time I had reached James for my own signing she had moved onto Carlos. making small talk like a pro.
I made small talk with the three boys, James, Carlos, and Kendall, before making it down the line to Logan. Each boy had made a similar comment after seeing me and hearing my name "You look really familiar. Have we met before?"
Cat would look at me each time they would say it like 'WTF?'
When I finally took my turn with Logan, he gave me a funny look.
"You know, you look so familiar, but-no it can't be." he said as he signed my tour book.
"Yeah I got that from the other three." I responded with a shrug. He asked me my name which earned me another funny look and a shrug. 'Oh well I tough to myself, guess he really doesn't remember.'
After that and through the first half of the concert I was bummed. We had been friends for fourteen years and he didn't even recognize me? Asshole.
At the halfway mark I started to perk up. Cat and I had halfway decent seats so I was really starting to enjoy myself. The boys were amazing performers.
They said something about slowing it down and they brought out six stools, one for their guitar player, four for them, and a sixth one, I'm guessing, was for a lucky fan. It was Logan who was doing the choosing, pretending to look way out into the audience, but everyone knew the back never got chosen. Then he said the words I will never forget.
"I'd like to call one Rachel Cartwright to the stage. I need you guys to help me find her. I know she's here somewhere."
Cats faces was white at these words, mouth hanging open. "THATS YOU! THATS YOU!" she screamed waving her hand frantically at the security people "This is her! This is Rachel Cartwright, I swear!"
"No, no that's not me, no." I stammered "Just, no"
But they took me up to the stage despite my protests. Why me? Why now?
As security helped me up onto the stage Logan gave me his winning smile that always won me over, but not this time. He ran to hug my stiff body, whispering in my ear "I knew it was you!"
He introduced me to all the boys and led me to my stool in the middle of all four guys. They serenaded me, but I sat there frozen. Logan could tell something was wrong, but smiled through the song anyways. When the song was over I said my goodbyes to Kendall, James, and Carlos, neglecting Logan and ran off stage and back to my seat. I saw out of the corner of my eye, Logan whispering into one of the security guard's ear.
When I reached my seat all the girls around me, including Cat, were screaming asking me all sorts of weird questions like 'how did they smell' and shit like that. When all that was over I sat back to enjoy what was left of the show, but a noticed the same security guard that Logan had been whispering too hovering close to me.
"Miss, Logan has requested that you come back stage to meet with him and rest of the guys." he said to me.
I was astonished, really after all that, and he still wanted to torture me some more? Somehow, I knew I wouldn't be able to get out of this. I asked the security guard if Cat could come, to which he said "of course."
When we were settled in back stage Cat looked at me and said "I knew he liked you! He totally called you out and now he wants to get to know you!"
"Too bad he already knows me." I said with distaste for the subject.
Cat gave me a confused look so I explained everything.
"No fucking way! Why didn't you tell me before?"
To this I only shrugged my shoulders.
As I was pawing through the food on the buffet table the door to the room flew open.
"RAY RAY!" Logan screamed swooping me up into a sweaty hug. Ew.
"Put me down" I said in a monotone.
"Rachie what's wrong?" he asked with a puzzled look on his face. The other guys sensed that something bad was about to happen, so they all slowly started to back out of the room. I could see James grab onto a star-struck Cat and pull her with them
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" I screamed "What's wrong is that I haven't heard from you in three years! What's wrong is that you didn't even recognize me at the meet and greet!"
"Woah! Rachel Marie, calm down" He spoke softly using my middle name "Look I recognized you at the meet and greet, but I wasn't sure, I wanted to say something, but you didn't look happy to see me so I thought it couldn't be you"
"Okay, sure, whatever. And the part where I haven't heard from you in three years? Or did you forget about that like you forgot about me?"
"Okay, yeah that's my fault, I know, but it's not like you tried to contact me!" He protested defensively.
"Oh yes I did, but you got your number changed and then I never heard a word from you again!" I spat in his face.
"Oh, crap, yeah you're right." He sighed.
"Yeah, oh and how about all the times you came home to visit your parents and never once came to see me!"
"Rachel you know thats a two way street, if you knew I was home then why didn't you come visit?" he retorted.
"Oh, maybe because I didn't know until after you were gone!" I yelled again.
"Rachel! Please stop! I'm sorry, I never meant to abandon you like that. Things just got so hectic, I mean I hardly even talk to my own family, let alone friends from my childhood."
"Oh, so now I'm just 'a friend from your childhood'?" I asked using air quotes "Last time I checked we were best friends who had been inseparable since my birth"
"You know that's not what I meant!" he pleaded desperately.
"Do I? Cause Logan, I'm pretty sure I don't know what you mean anymore. I thought you were better than this guy you've turned into. Forgetting your roots. Going back on promises. Leaving behind the ones who matter most" I stopped for a split second to catch my breath "Or maybe I never mattered at all."
With that I turned on my heel and walked out of the room. I could hear Logan yelling for me, but I didn't turn around.
When I reached the door I yanked it open to find four heads pressed up against it.
"Cat, I'm leaving, stay or come, I don't really care." I said defeated "It was nice seeing you again boys"
They all murmured their 'yeahs' and 'goodbyes' as I walked out. I was halfway to my car when I felt a hand on my shoulder yanking me to face them. It was Logan.