Cold, but I'm Still Here

Song is by Evans Blue.

Big thank you to all the reviewers, very sweet of yous! XD Enjoy!

"He's my dad." Anna shuffled her feet, and refused to look at Jill's overflowing face of horror.

"What?" The assertion in the voice made Anna immediately jump away from the source behind her. Chris eyed the young girl from head to toe, in complete shock from her revelation. He had heard the tail end of the conversation. He became breathless, random convulsions of nerves coursed through his body. He didn't believe it, he couldn't believe her words, yet his heart doubted his mind. When he laid eyes upon her, he saw himself. The deep brunette locks, piercing emerald eyes; she was a miniature of her father. Yet Chris couldn't raise a smile towards the child he had longed for. He didn't need this, he didn't want this.

He averted his gaze from the awkward girl and towards the woman he loved standing behind her. Her face was covered in shock and, had Jill not have been such a strong person, tears would have been flowing down her face. Her deep blue orbs met Chris's. He needed reassurance from her, she could see this, he needed a smile, a nod, something to tell him it would be okay. Jill didn't give him anything. She handed him the photo,

"Where did you get this?" He demanded. The fear in his daughter's eyes from his harshness broke his heart right there on the spot.

"Chris!" Jill scolded him for his anger, and led the girl into their kitchen sitting her down at the large wooden table. Her olive eyes were already shimmering with extra water, and within seconds she was frantically removing the tears that fell.

"I'm sorry, I should have never come." Anna whimpered to Jill. She still refused to look at her father, needless to say, he hadn't made the best impression. Jill patted the other girl's hand lightly,

"Don't be silly. We're just in shock. Talk to us." She gave a light smile.

...

"I'm sixteen years old, and it was my mom who gave me the photo. She knew you when you were in the US Air Force. Laura Johnson." Anna spoke quietly and cautiously, turning her head slightly to Chris standing behind her. Memories flickered within the man's forest eyes.

"You know, I wouldn't mind if you wore your uniform here every once in a while. Can't beat a good nurse outfit." Chris joked, laying multiple kisses along the blonde's elegant cheekbone and neck.

"Well, you should do the same, I wouldn't say no to your uniform." Chris let out a low chuckle, and shifted his weight slightly so he was now pinning Laura to the bed. She continued to run her fingers along his back, and up to his dark short locks, tugging lightly.

"You know I'll be leaving soon..." He hated to bring it up, but they couldn't put it off forever. Laura was older, more mature, she knew how she felt. And if his feelings were genuine she would follow him wherever he went, and stick by him. But something within her told her, his feelings weren't exactly the same as hers. She moved her fingers to reside along his shaven cheeks.

"But this is just a bit of fun, right?" He asked, planting a delicate kiss upon her head. She gave a nod in agreement, but her hazel eyes seemed to fade.

"Yeah, we had a short relationship, about four months. She was a nurse in the barracks we were staying at in Pittsburgh. I can't believe she didn't tell me..." He said. Understandable if it was a one night stand that she wouldn't tell him, but they were close, he never expected her to hold such important information from him.

"She regretted not telling you, but she said at the time she couldn't risk you giving away everything for me and her. You needed the money for your sister's college funds, and mom didn't want you to leave the air force. She always said if you knew she was pregnant, you would have stuck by us. She didn't want to trick you into staying." Anna replied calmly. She showed no anger towards her absent father. It wasn't his fault and her whole life she never once blamed him.

Chris nodded understanding Laura's reasons. But he couldn't help but think something else was part of it too.

"I love you..." The three words no young man wants to hear when he's simply having fun. Laura whispered the words, almost inaudibly. But Chris heard, and panicked.

"...Thank you." Seemed it was all he could say. The sadness in her eyes conveyed the broken heart within.

...

"I'm not ready for this, Laura. I'm only twenty, living my life. I can't deal with a serious relationship on top of the air force." He tried to fix the damage, explaining himself, but it was useless. Now knowing Chris wasn't ready and didn't feel the same, Laura left him to live his life. The two never spoke again.

One of Chris's biggest regrets was his refusal to admit his feelings. He was young and scared, but looking back, their feelings were probably mutual.

"I always knew you were my dad, she never denied it. But I didn't really start questioning why my dad wasn't with me until I was about ten. By then, she had heard all about the conspiracies with the Mansion Incident and Umbrella. She didn't want to contact you, you'd been through enough. But she practically detailed your life for me. I have a book full of the photos she could find, and all the news reports about you. You're somewhat of a hero." She said. Chris frowned, his daughter knew everything about his years of life, yet he knew nothing of hers.

"I guess she wanted to protect you from our life. Can't blame her." Chris said, glancing towards Jill.

"Did you go through all this too?" Anna asked Jill in shock.

"Yeah, I met Chris is STARS. We did it all together, I'm Jill Valentine." Jill smiled.

"Wow, there's a lot of stuff about you too. I can't believe you two are in a relationship. It's like the greatest love story ever. Girl sacrifices herself for boy, boy searches the world to find girl. That's love." She exclaimed, surprised to actually see the woman she had read much about, yet never seen a picture of. "Wait. That is what happened, right?"

"That's about the gist of it, yeah." Jill said laughing.

"If you've known about me your whole life, why come now?" Chris asked. He was still in shock, but from talking to Anna, he liked her.

"Mom died of cancer last year. I've been living with my grandparents in New Castle, ever since. And then I found out a Chris Redfield was living in the city, I thought it was fate. I mean, I didn't know if it was you, but it was worth a shot."

"I'm sorry to hear about your mom." Chris said. If his maths was correct, Laura would have only been thirty-nine years old. It must have been devastating for Anna.

"No it's okay. Look, I'm sorry for coming here and messing everything up. This must be so hard to absorb. I think I'll leave..." Anna said, and picked up her coat.

"It's not messed up...I'm glad you came." Chris said, receiving the first genuine smile from his daughter.

"You should come back tomorrow, if you wanted of course?" Jill suggested.

"I'd like that." Anna smiled and left the house.

Chris sighed and placed himself heavily down in the seat, burying his head within his hands.

"Strange day, right?" Jill said, patting him lightly between the shoulder blades.

"Yeah... It's all happened so fast." He whispered, "She's sixteen years old, and I don't know the first thing about her."

"There's no possibility that-"

"No." Chris cut her off, "It all adds up, she knows too much to be lying."

"This is crazy. You're going to have to tell everyone. How'll they take it?"

"Claire will love it, just another person to gang up against me with." He chuckled.

"You'll be a good dad, Chris. You just need to bond with her."

"Yeah, but she's a stranger it's hard to do."

"Well that's why we'll keep contact with her, and that's what tomorrows for." Jill said smiling. Chris removed his head from his hands, and reached over to grasp her hand.

"How do you do it?" He asked, turning to gaze into her soul.

"Do what?"

"You're so supportive. I thought you'd be freaking out, or upset or something."

"I guess I handle these situations well. I'm fine." In reality, Jill had learned to accept disappointments. She'd had many in her life, and it's just another drawback. You pick yourself back up and fight through it. She would never admit everything to Chris; some things were for her alone to know and suffer.

Chris leaned over to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. He was oblivious to Jill's discontent.

Anna arrived at the Redfield house at the time arranged. Glancing to the drive, she saw a car was missing, and she didn't get a reply from her knock. She checked her watch ensuring it was the right time, and knocked once more. When again she got no answer, she gently pushed open the door, calling into the house,

"Chris? Jill?"

...

No voice replied, but she heard something echoing through the house. Moving carefully inside, she could hear what sounded like sobs. She tiptoed up the stairs and towards the cause of the sound. Glancing into the master bedroom, bottled up salty rivers poured down Jill's face. The older woman hadn't noticed her presence, too caught up in her cries.

Anna saw what looked like a pregnancy test to Jill's side. She was unsure to let Jill know of her presence, she felt terrible for her. The sound of a car pulling up distracted both Jill and Anna. Jill wiped away the pain, and slipped into the en suite. Meanwhile Anna tried to rush down the stairs while staying quiet.

"Anna?" Chris's voice from the front door made the young girl jump on the spot. "Everything alright?"

"...Yeah. There was no answer so I came in to look for you." She said shakily.

"Yeah I was held up, sorry about that. Hmm, Jill must be asleep or something."

"Must be..." She whispered.

After seating her at the table, and offering a drink, Chris began the 'bonding' time with his daughter. Problem was, he hadn't known her for her whole life, and had nothing to relate to her with.

"So, what do you like?" Chris asked awkwardly, taking a sip from his coffee.

"I'm a teenager so not much." She received a low chuckle from her father. "I'm pretty normal, the usual stuff. But I'm not a typical girly girl, so don't expect me to be a daddy's girl."

"Never would." He laughed. Although it was awkward, the more they spoke the more they grew to each other. It would take time, but so far it was going alright.

"Hey Anna. I'm going to see Rebecca, you two okay?" Jill asked appearing at the doorway of the kitchen.

"Yeah we're fine here. Take care, Jilly." Chris smiled, and gave her a little wink. Anna smiled to Jill and looking at her, she was a completely different person than Anna had seen earlier. There was no evidence of tears, she seemed happy as can be.

"Is everything okay with you two?" Anna asked once Jill left.

"Yeah, she's handling this really well." Chris replied, his lips curving into a genuine smile. Naive of him to think so. Anna couldn't tell what she had seen; she'd only met the people, it wasn't her place to do so.

...

"You know, I'm really sorry that I wasn't there to see you grow up." Chris admitted, a frown growing on his ageing features.

"I know, but honestly, I don't blame you Chris." He nodded. "...I have some photos, I mean if you want to see them?"

"I'd like that." He said. Anna shuffled through her hand bag to retrieve a large messy photo album. She placed in before him, and showed some of her childhood photos. He may not have been there, but the photos brought him comfort, at least she looked happy in them. Each one brought another smile to his face. For the first time, he began to feel a strong connection with his daughter.

Anna turned over the crumpled pages and photos, a random piece of paper flew out from the album. Chris leaned down to pick up the stray paper; glancing at it he saw a familiar sight.

"Did you draw this?" Chris asked, looking at the detailed sketch of Anna and her mother.

"...Yeah." She replied nervously pulling the page from Chris's grasp.

"It's amazing, Anna. You should have told me."

"No, I don't like people knowing. It's something just for me." She admitted, shyly.

"Do you want to see something?" She cautiously nodded in response. Chris rose from his feet and walked into the hall. He took out multiple pages from the bottom shelf of a cupboard, and placed them in front of Anna.

"Wow, these are so intricate." She glanced through all of Chris's delicate drawings. "I hope to be as good as this someday..."

"Believe me, you're getting there kiddo." He joked. She came upon a picture of Jill's gravestone.

"You've been through a lot of stuff, haven't you? Everything in the news was real, wasn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah basically. But I've left that life behind; you're never going to be a part of that. I will not let you go through, what I had too." Chris said.

Chris never wished his life upon her, he wouldn't wish it upon anybody. But there is only so much a father can do to protect his daughter.

Note: I don't know how big New Castle in Pennsylvania is, so I'm assuming it's a city. I only used it because I love Newcastle upon Tyne, haha! That reference is for all you Geordies!

Reviews are appreciated. Hint hint wink wink...

Artichoke,

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