Spinning in the Silence, She Finally Drifts Away

Title is from Be Yourself, by Audioslave. Don't even get me started on Chris Cornell's voice...*drools*. Ahem anyway. And the song further on is Human by Jon McLaughlin.

Sorry for the delay, it took AGES to write this chapter, and re-reading it, it's still a pile of shite, haha!

Thanks reviewers, yous are babes! Enjoy XD


For the first time in his life Chris Redfield wasn't hungry. He stared blankly at the bleak steak in front of him, eyes wandering beyond the plate. Subconsciously he nibbled in the inside of his jaw. In the weeks that Jill had left, he did nothing but think of her. He ran the scene a thousand times through his head, each one showing if he had have said this or done that she might not have left. But he was too late. He knew this.

"Are you on a diet?" His bemused sister asked, a lopsided smile forming on her lips. She shoved another chip into her mouth, and watched him intently from the opposite side of the table.

"No. I'm just not very hungry. That's all. Glad to know you care, Claire." He said sarcastically. Although it was only a week, he'd become bitter. Jill brought out the better side of him, and without her, he was slipping further towards the person he dreaded to become.

"You could at least eat the food. I'm buying remember? Usually you'd be scoffing the most expensive thing on the menu just to spite me." Claire joked, fixing the strand of auburn hair that had fallen from her ponytail. She had decided to take her brother and niece out for dinner. It wasn't much, just a nice grill restaurant. It was the least she could do for Chris. Her hope was either to get him to talk, or let him forget everything that had happened.

"Yeah..." He replied, not amused by her words. The younger woman sighed lightly; she hated to see him like this. And she didn't know what to do.

"...You sure you're okay, Chris?" Anna asked her stooped over father sitting opposite her. It was a stupid question really, she knew he wasn't.

"I'm fine...I'll be fine. Don't worry about me, girlies." He said, raising a fake, unconvincing smile, which the women returned unenthusiastically. Chris brought his hands to his face, resting his elbows on the mahogany table either side of his meal.

"I'm sorry." Anna apologised quietly, knowing he hated every time she said it. She couldn't help but blame herself, and no matter how much Chris tried to convince her otherwise, she knew she was partly responsible.

"Anna, please. Don't make things harder for me, this is not your fault. If anything I should be apologising, you and Jill are close, I've royally mucked things up. Don't let what has happened between me and Jill affect your friendship with her. I don't want that." He placed his hand upon her wrist and gave a gentle soothing pat.

"Okay. Everything will work out...Dad." The word brought a genuine smile to across Chris's face. It was the first time she had ever really called him dad, and hearing it from her filled him with joy.

"What are you waiting for, Chris? You obviously miss her." Claire asked. She knew more than anybody, how much Chris cared for Jill. Even before they had their relationship, Claire saw the glint in his eye when he spoke about her or the slight blush on his cheeks when Claire brought up the idea of a relationship. The man lived and breathed for Jill, so their break up hit Claire just as hard as everyone else. It took away any faith she ever had in the illusion of true love.

"Yeah of course I do. But I've messed up, big time. She won't just forgive me."

"Of course she won't! And you can't blame her. Look, I'm not going to sugar coat this, from what you've told me this is your fault. She won't just come back to you in time, you need to go after her. The problem is you weren't there for her, so ignoring her is just going to make things worse." Chris frowned slightly at his sister's speech.

"And what do I say to her? Huh? She doesn't want to hear any of it. I've tried texting her to see if she'll meet up but she said no." He attempted to defend himself.

"How about you tell her how you feel? Chris you're not the most...vocal man. You won't talk about your feelings, and you seem oblivious to hers. Hate to burst your bubble, but she's not a mind reader you have to actually tell her how you feel." Chris responded with an exasperated sigh, why did Claire always have to be right?

"...I'm not going to pour my heart and soul out, just to be shot down." He ruffled his hair just to give his hands something to do.

"So you're scared. Well you either try and possibly fail, or leave it and lose everything you've ever loved. She loves you, I know that. But she won't wait forever."Claire said. Chris nodded slowly, and gently closed his eyes.


The heavy wooden door creaked slighty as the delicate fingers opened it. Closing it behind her, Jill took in the surroundings she had missed. It was her home too, yet she had chosen to leave it all. The house was eerily quiet, at some stage she would have wished for the rooms to echo with soft pattering of children's feet on top of the wooden floors, but now there was no sound whatsoever. The silence was filled with the sound of her heels colliding against the floor. She came merely to pick up extra clothes and items, but stepping back into the house, their house, she was overcome with more unwanted emotion.

Jill walked into the living room, and over to the intricately carved table which held their photos. Everything was in place; the house was still quite tidy as far as she could see. She set down her handbag, and admired the photos before her. All of them showing each of their families. She did notice the absence of one of the photos. Not any photo, but her favourite one. A photo taken during their STARS days, it reminded her of better times. Glancing to the floor, she began to look for it. Her eyes were caught by something on the other side of the room. Manoeuvring past the sofa and coffee table, she made her way to the object on the floor.

Jill carefully brushed off the loose shattered glass lying upon it, and gently picked up the silver frame, tears pricking the corner of her eyes. Obviously, the Redfield anger had flared its ugly head up once more. The picture was taken while they were goofing around, Chris was smiling sheepishly at the camera while wearing her favourite beret, while Jill had draped her arms around his neck. A small clear puddle landed on the little glass that remained holding the photo to the frame. She set it on top of the ebony black piano.

Seeing the piano, took her mind of the photo. She had missed the piano. It was large and overly elegant, given to her as a gift after Africa from Chris. She brushed her fingers lightly over the pearl white keys, ensuring not to create a sound.

Jill knew Chris was out, hence why she came. She slipped into the velvet piano stool, and stretched out her fingers. She was naturally skilled at piano, she could play anything by ear. And although she had immense talent, rarely would she show it. Like Chris's art, it was a talent for her alone to indulge in.

Moving her lengthy fingers to the correct keys, she closed her eyes, and slowly played the song she wished. A pink tongue quickly darted out of her lips as she wet them slightly.

"Can you tell me how we got in this situation, I can't seem to get you off my mind," She sang the words quietly in perfect time to the music. She didn't have the most spectacular or original singing voice, but nevertheless she hit the right notes, and sang sweetly.

"All these ups and downs, they trip up our good intentions, nobody said this was easy ride..." She continued her singing, still quietly as she had little confidence.

"...Just as beautiful as ever." Jill jumped at the voice behind her, and quickly retracted her hands from the keys. She refused to turn to him, her face flushed pink with embarrassment. Never would she let Chris hear her sing. Occasionally, he would be allowed to listen to her play, but never sing. But that never stopped him, he had heard her before, and just like in the past times, to him she had the voice of an angel.

"You didn't need to stop." Chris said, perching himself on the back of their leather sofa.

"Yeah well..." She trailed off, and quickly brought down the top to close the keys away. "I'm sorry, I just came to collect some clothes."

Chris sighed. He actually had some hope that she had perhaps come to stay, naive of him to think so.

"It's good to see you again." He said softly, approaching Jill, whose back was still towards him. "Have you been okay?"

"Yeah, okay thanks." She turned slightly towards him, "...I should go."

"Wait, please." Jill was beginning to rise, when Chris's hand on her shoulder encouraged her to stay put.

"Why, Chris? ...I don't want to do this again. If I stay, I'll just forgive you. You could say or do anything, and you know I'd forgive you in a second and go right back to where we began." Her voice trembled, a cocktail of frustration and sadness building within her. Chris set himself down beside her on the stool.

"What's so bad about you forgiving me?" He asked, intimidating her by gazing deeply into her blue azures. She exhaled, and hung her head away from him.

"Because I want more. For once, I want something for myself. You've been so distant, and I just went along with it. But now I realise I could have so much more." She felt terrible admitting her true feelings to him, hence why she refused to look at him and see his broken heart. "You used to be so romantic and spontaneous..."

"Life got in the way, Jill. I have a job and a daughter; I didn't deliberately try to push you away. And I'm so sorry, I want to make it up to you." His breathing became more hitched, his heart breaking as he spoke. "...But you're right, you do deserve more. I've never been enough for you. Come on, look at you and then look at me."

"It's nothing like that, Chris. If anything, you are too good for me. You could have anybody you wanted." Jill replied, surprisingly her tears had yet to have started to flow. She still had a sinking feeling in her heart, but for the time being she was maintaining her composure.

"I don't want anyone else." Jill sighed, she couldn't argue with him.

"Chris. I just have too much on my plate. Honestly, I just need some time alone. But we'll still talk, we can be friends again like we used too, and see where it goes." Jill said.

"That's not going to work."He whispered regrettably, carelessly running a hand through his deep brown locks.

"Why?" She breathed, and turned to face him.

"It's plain and simple, Jill. It wouldn't work because I still want you. It would be awkward, because I'd spend my days just trying to win you back."He said. Jill sighed in defeat; there was nothing she could say.

...

"Please, isn't there anything I can say or do to get you back?" Chris pleaded. She reached over and lightly placed her hand on his.

"At the moment, I don't think so."She whispered.


Ada glided into the dark office, her stilettos clipping against the cold pavement filling the silent void. She leaned herself against the wall, bringing one leg up so her foot rested against it, the slit in her red dress enabling her to do so. In a swift action, she flicked a piece of jet black hair from her face,

"What did you want?" She asked the figure sitting behind the desk opposite her.

"This Anna Redfield girl, that's who I want," The smooth voice replied. Ada scoffed,

"Come on, that's not my job. Why don't you get your little protégé to take care of that?" She said nonchalantly, looking around the dull, uninspired room.

"Can't fully rely on Sherry, she's a sensitive one. Not that I can rely on you either, of course." They replied, receiving a roll of the eyes from Ada.

"I'm not going to get her for you." She said confidently.

"Oh, of course not. You're emotionally attached, right?" The person laughed slightly, "Don't presume I don't know everything about you and government boy. I know what you've been doing."

Ada raised her eyebrows and stood straight up, folding her arms across her chest. She remained unnerved, as calm as she ever was, although her hazel eyes told a different story.

"But you see I'm willing to let that slide because at the moment, I need you. But the minute that changes..." The figure brought their dainty finger to their throat running it slowly across to signify death to Ada.

"You know with all these threats, I think I preferred your brother." Ada replied calmly, combing her fingers through her hair.

The silhouette rose gracefully, adjusting their short figure hugging black dress. She waltzed towards Ada, her heels giving her the advantage of height over the shorter woman.

"Unlike him, I don't make threats. I make promises. I know you'll do what I say," She towered over Ada, and brought her mouth to her ear. Her thin lips forming into a sadistic smile, "Never forget that I'm your worst nightmare."


Jill brought her arms around to hug her legs. She had spent the last two hours watching a terrible chick flick, which did nothing but annoy her. No real relationships ever ended happily, she envied the characters where everything seemed to always work out fine between them.

"Well...that film was god-awful." Carlos, situated next to her on the sofa, remarked.

"I agree. But, it was your stupid choice, I hate chick flicks." Jill joked, raising a smile for the man next to her. She knew he worried for her, so the least she could do is smile for him once in a while, even if it wasn't completely genuine.

Carlos draped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his chest for a quick embrace.

"I can read you like a book, chica." He let out a slight laugh. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yes!" She groaned, getting annoyed by his constant worrying. "I'm fine, Carlos."

"Jeez, someone's PMSing... I was just checking." He quivered his bottom lip, and gave her the irresistible puppy look.

"I know, and thank you." She sighed, and squeezed her arms tightly around his torso, resting her head on his chest. She couldn't help but notice his change in shape. He was always toned, but now he had got muscled up too. Must have been the affect the BSAA had on people, not that she minded.

"You know, I really have liked spending time with you again." Carlos admitted, patting down a stray lock of dark hair from the back of her head.

"Me too." She whispered, breathing in his sweet scent. He smelt sweeter than Chris, Chris had a more musk essence about him, she liked Carlos's better.

He bravely placed a kiss on her the top of her head, and if she could see him, she would see the minuscule hint of red that appeared on his darker features.

"I thought I said no kisses." She said, removing her head from his chest.

"Couldn't help myself." He flashed a sly grin and a wink, a chuckle playing off her lips. Finally, her problems with Chris had slipped from her mind; Carlos was able to have that effect on her.

He cupped her face and ran his thumb along her cheek soothingly. She didn't resist. He guided her face closer to his, and brushed his lips lightly against her neck, placing the softest of kisses.

"You know how I feel about you." His whispered breath was hot against her delicate skin. He moved towards her lips, as she remained still, their faces were mere centimetres apart. Perhaps it was the lack of affection or maybe Jill did have feelings for Carlos, whatever it was she wasn't resisting to his actions. His lips brushed lightly against hers, touching ever so slightly.

Before things could go further, Jill's phone vibrated loudly on the glass table. She retracted her face from his and sighed seeing Chris was the one calling her.

"What is it, Chris?" She answered sharply. She didn't intend to sound so angry, but every time she began to not think about him, something would happen to bring her right back to that predicament.

"Something's happened to Anna..."


I'm assuming the majority of you will be able to guess who my mystery woman is now! Since I found out about X, I loved the idea of X being female; we need a good powerful woman baddie! Haha.

Till next time! XD

Artichoke,

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