Title: Harvest Moon

Series: Stargate Atlantis

Theme: Drama /Romance

Characters: Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

Rating/Warning: R/Sexual Situations/Language

Summary: If Atlantis permanently returned to Earth her heart, her soul would be ripped in two, but she would find a way to endure.

Links: http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

Chapter 2: Hope

Teyla walked quietly through the city. The team had just returned from an off world mission and after a quick trip to the armory to turn in her gear and a quick check up at the infirmary she was now headed home to her quarters. John, Ronon and Rodney were headed to the dining hall, but she'd declined to join them. It was after eight, later than she'd expected to return from their trip, but if she hurried she might be able kiss and sing a lullaby to Torren before he went down for the night.

Teyla soon realized that it wasn't meant to be. The doors silently closed behind her as she watched Kanaan cover their sleeping son with a blanket. She sighed in disappointment and crossed the room giving Kanaan a kiss on the lips and planted one on Torren's brow.

"I am sorry. I truly believed that we would return earlier. I knew I missed dinner, but I hoped to return in time to put him down for the night."

She gently caressed the baby's cheek. Kanaan wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side.

"It is fine. Torren and I had a discussion before bedtime and it was agreed that if you spend breakfast, lunch and dinner with us tomorrow all will be forgiven."

Teyla softly laughed.

"Thank you for your graciousness."

He grinned.

"It is our pleasure. Now, it is time for you to eat."

Kanaan led her into the kitchenette and told her to sit at the table. He retrieved a small bowl from their miniature refrigerator and placed in it the microwave. After offering her a drink, which she declined, he gathered a spoon and napkin and served Teyla a steaming bowl of soup. She inhaled its rich aroma and smiled.

"This smells wonderful."

He joined her at the table.

"It tastes wonderful as well. I had some for dinner earlier."

They sat for a few moments in silence while Teyla enjoyed her meal.

"Was your mission successful?"

She nodded.

"Yes, the Guerin were very interested in trade. They have no use for the Naquadah found on their planet and are happy to trade it for medical supplies, which they are in great need of. John says that in time the Guerin will be taught simple ways to use the material to help improve their way of life."

Teyla saw a frown ripple across Kanaan's face, but it was gone just as quickly as it arrived.

"Is something wrong?"

He shook his head no and asked another question.

"How many more missions do you have scheduled before we leave?"

Her eyes sparkled, excited at the thought of returning home.

"One more scheduled for the day after tomorrow and then Atlantis is scheduled to depart two days after that. I cannot wait to see the others again."

He nodded.

"It will be good to be home and with our people again. They have been greatly missed. Have you thought anymore about my suggestions to you?"

She grinned remembering his enthusiasm. For months she'd worried about Kanaan being stuck on Atlantis with nothing to do, only to learn that he'd spent a majority of his time researching Earth's agricultural practices. He'd found a way for the Athosians to plant a crop large enough for food, storage and still have something left over for trade.

"Yes, I even mentioned it to John. He said he-"

"John is a soldier not a farmer. Besides, I want your opinion, not his."

Teyla was surprised by the irritation in his tone. She didn't appreciate it, especially after eight hours of tramping through the woods on a dusty planet listening to Rodney complain about how hot and thirsty he was.

"John offered to put you in contact Dr. Jones at the SGC. He is an agricultural scientist who could answer some of your questions about the techniques you were reading about. He thought your ideas were good and was merely trying to be helpful. I thought you would be grateful for the assistance."

Kanaan didn't respond. Instead he gathered her spoon and empty bowl, rinsed them in the sink and sat them on the counter to dry. He turned to face her.

"I am grateful for his assistance…"

"But?"

Kanaan hesitated for a moment and then finally shrugged his shoulders. He sighed.

"But nothing. Please tell John that I said thank you. Any assistance in this matter would be greatly appreciated. After all, it is for the good of all of our people."

Teyla rose from the table and moved to his side.

"Is everything well, Kanaan? Is there something that we need to discuss?"

He studied her face closely before he answered.

"I am worried for you, Teyla."

She frowned.

"Why?"

Kanaan gently caressed her cheek.

"Because it has been one week since Mr. Woolsey announced Atlantis' one year mission. And every evening we sit and discuss finding our people, ways to help our people and things to be discussed with the council, but we never discuss what you will do when Atlantis returns to Earth. What you will do if Atlantis never returns to Pegasus. And the possibility that Ronon may go with them."

Teyla sighed, but she didn't speak. Kanaan continued.

"You forget that I was there when the Lantean's left the last time. There was no doubt that their leaving weighed heavily on your heart. We, all of us, saw the change in you. You were there on New Athos for your people, but your heart was clearly somewhere else. I remember your sadness and I remember Ronon's unrest. I also remember the joy on both of your faces when John Sheppard stepped out of the darkness and into the firelight of our camp. I worry that with this second leaving Atlantis will not return. And that if you choose your people over the love that you have for your new family, in time what you feel for us will become seeded with bitterness. And that we will become a burden to you."

Teyla grasped Kanaan hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I love our people and the Lantean's equally. You are all my family. But if they, and Ronon, do leave never to return, I will be sad but I will have Torren and you to keep me happy. My love for you two has no boundaries and knows no limit. You two are more than enough to keep me strong. So please do not worry about me. I will be just fine."

Kanaan brushed a soft kiss across her lips and smiled. Teyla returned his smile and pulled her hand free.

"Now, if you will excuse me I would like to take a long hot shower before retiring for bed."

Teyla headed for the bathroom. Once there she closed the door and turned on the hot water. As she pulled off her uniform she thought back to what Kanaan said. …the last time… The last time the Lantean's left had been very sudden and unexpected. The return of the Ancients had not gone as either of their people had hoped. With the city reclaimed and a request for their immediate departure, there had been hardly enough time to pack up and leave, let alone to say their goodbyes. But they did say their goodbyes and it had been one of the saddest moments of her life.

It had been difficult, to say the least, to suddenly stop fighting and just live. It was a transition readjusting to a slower pace of life, which was not made any easier by Ronon's insistence that they fight. If anything he had only made her miss John, Elizabeth, Carson and Rodney even more. What Kanaan said was true. Seeing John again, his infectious smile, his knowing look and his wildly ruffled hair had filled her heart with joy the moment he stepped into the clearing. And it had also given her some relief. Ronon had been on the verge of doing something reckless and she had greatly feared that whatever he'd gotten into would be too great from which to save him. But when John arrived she had known that somehow everything would be okay. But then, that was just John. He always seemed to make the impossible possible.

When her people went missing, he was the one that gave her hope. When she pushed herself too far, he was the one that tried to protect her and her son from her own stubbornness. And when Michael held her prisoner, knowing that he searched for her, that he would find her, gave her the will to fight even when it seemed all hope was gone.

Teyla stood under the spray of warm water and sighed. She honestly could not imagine going back to the life that she had before the Lanteans arrived, but knew that if it came to that she could never abandon her people. If Atlantis permanently returned to Earth her heart, her soul would be ripped in two, but she would find a way to endure.