A/N: No, I have no idea if there are seagulls in Japan. Creative license or something.
Just so you know, I'm about to bend canon continuity over the metaphorical timeline and fuck it up the ass.
(It's okay, canon said I could. Canon and I are cool like that.)
I'm going to try and keep this canon, but it's going to get confusing. Mostly for me. If I screw something up, just holler and I'll try and fix it.
Entry 51
It's two-thirty in the morning and I can't sleep because there's a fucking seagull outside my window.
Uugghhh.
I should probably work on my world domination plan. But meh.
You know, the one time I'm bored enough to actually WANT to listen to meddling voices, they disappear.
Typical.
Entry 52
Three hours later and all I can see are Tetris blocks. I think my brain has officially turned to mush.
Fuck, that would be cool.
Entry 53
Okay, time to be productive. Hm.
All right. Sending out mind-slave No. 31 tomorrow to trick Yugi Moto into dueling me. Him. Whatever. Plan is to get the kid to lose and give up his Puzzle. Obviously.
On that note, would someone please tell me who the fuck decided that I can only get this thing's power if I win it through a damned card game? That is just... I don't even. So annoying.
That's why someone else should be in charge here. Someone who's me.
Entry 54
All right, the mind-slave is heading out. Hot damn, this has been easy so far. Go me!
Entry 55
Fuck my life.
Why? Why the hell did I send the mind slave I randomly pulled from the ocean?
He was probably defective or something. No wonder the last guy didn't want him!
Apparently? The mind-slave and the Pharaoh's brat knew each other. FROM ANOTHER FREAKING CARD GAME TOURNAMENT.
How many of these things does this kid go to?
Ugh. So anyway, the brat managed to break through my mind control with, like, the power of friendship or something, idk, and then my mind slave went all batshit and set the damn warehouse on fire or some shit.
And then he ran out and forgot to grab the puzzle.
Why the hell are my minions so incompetent?
So, now the Pharaoh knows that YET SOMEONE ELSE is after his puzzle.
Makes you wonder how many times this has happened before...
Fuck, I need a drink.
Entry 56
Odion won't let me have alcohol because I'm under Japan's drinking age and apparently we follow laws now.
What. The hell.
I hate Japan.
Entry 57
Went Internet surfing to make myself feel better. Found anime.
I love Japan.
Entry 58
I need to get myself a Japanese dictionary. What's an "uke"?
Entry 59
Oh.
Entry 60
Watched another movie today. I'm trying to build up my knowledge of modern culture, since I'm SIXTEEN YEARS BEHIND, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, DADDY.
This one had something to do with mountains being alive with, like, music? And goats? Singing nuns? Nazis? I dunno, fell asleep halfway through.
According this movie, though, you're supposed to ramble off shit you like when you're sad, and supposedly it makes you feel better.
I'm still feeling a bit down about the whole failed evil plan thing, so I decided to try it.
Let's see:
-Purple capes
-Gold jewelry
-Eyeliner
-Dead seagulls
-Beating the Pharaoh
-Doritos
-Motorcycles
-Minions who listen
-Ruling over everything
-Odion's face when I remind him that he's being bossed around by his little brother
-Rocks
... You know, I do feel a little better. The singing nun was right!
Entry 61
Time to pick up the shards of my poor, shattered plan and figure out what to do next. SIGH. Why are beating an ancient Pharaoh and controlling mind-slaves and taking over the world so hard?
I'm starting to get a headache from all this manipulating.
Entry 62
... You hear that splat? That is the sound of the shit hitting the fan.
Fuck me.
STUPID MEDDLING SIBLINGS.
Crazy voice in my head?
THAT'S ME.
Hey, you're back! Why the hell haven't you been bothering me properly?
OH, YOU KNOW. PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION AND SUCH. NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
Well, you could have at least called.
SORRY.
It's all right. Just don't let it happen again.
Anyway, as I was saying:
Fuck me.
More on this later. For now, I'm going to go play Tetris 'til my eyes bleed.
WHATEVER DID YOU DO WITHOUT ME?
That's a great question. I'll let you know the answer after three more levels.
... Maybe four.
Damn.