Summary: He left again. It didn't make a difference that he had convinced the Hokage to make it official mission. The fact is he left. And he didn't even have the guts to say good bye face to face. Who needs a stupid letter?

Warnings: Yaoi Lemons Mpreg Angst Swearing

Rating: Mature

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, nor do I wish to own the rights to Naruto or its characters

-.-

Letters

Chapter Four

-.-

What do you do when you feel like your heart has been broken? When you feel betrayed but know you haven't been? Crying is a no. The first few times it helps, the next, it makes it worse. When you are upset, when you cry, thinking straight is out of the question. The pain floods your insides and your heart until it's overwhelming. And then the anger sets in and you get pissed. Blaming anyone and everyone for the pain you are feeling is the only thing you can do.

After the tears, after the river mouths that your eyes have become dry, you regret. You regret being angry at everyone, all the harsh things you thought about them. And then the guilt sets in and you want to apologize, but can't. You can't because they never heard what you had wanted to say in the first place. This means the guilt stays. Instead of pain, it is this that is now overwhelming.

-.-

Naruto stared at the piece of paper, the small scrap of parchment, and its neatly written words.

He knew the hand that had written this.

The pale elegant hand, and it scared him just how much it affected him. This note, this letter, meant that he wasn't as alone as he thought himself to be. He laughed at how sappy it was, wondering how the man had forced his pen to write it. It was so out of character. But everything that was written was true. The complete understanding of how he felt astounded him. There was no "To", no "From", but he knew with every fiber of his being who had sent it.

He placed it back within the bedside drawer he had found it, wondering how in the world it had gotten there without him noticing. He was a ninja god damnit! Soon to be Hokage and he still didn't even pick up a whiff of an intruder!

Kneeling beside his bed he lifted his hands to rub his aching temples only to feel wetness on his cheeks. Not understanding why it was there, he looked at his hand confused. He stared at it as if it was someone else's and had been sewn to his arm by mistake.

He couldn't lie to himself.

He did know why he cried, but to him, it felt like a pathetic reason. He had missed his chance. What if Sasuke had been in this very room? Even if it was just someone who had been sent by Sasuke, it was still a person who could give him news. Tell him where that bastard was. Tell him that the bastard was safe.

Wiping his eyes, he began to change for bed. He knew now though, that he couldn't leave just yet. Not until he knew who had placed the letter in his house.

He had to know.

-.-

"Naruto, I'll take you to see the Hokage and we can sort out when you are leaving."

Kiba had barged into Naruto's house, no asking of permission or knocking of doors.

Sighing, Naruto turned to face Kiba.

"I'm not going yet."

"Well hurry up then. You have to get this sorted as soon as possible."

"I meant I'm not leaving yet."

Kiba looked at him confused.

"Why? I thought we talked this out yesterday."

"I'm not ready yet. I know we talked about it, but there are things I have to do. I can't just up and leave."

"Things like what!" He was angry. He had a right to be. His friend was endangering his own life along with the baby's.

"Naruto! You do know what will happen if news gets out about this, right? No one will stand for it! Heck, even some of our friends won't be able to wrap their heads around it! You need to leave before it gets to that."

He let loose a puff of air, trying to calm himself. Catching the end of a mumble he looked sharply at Naruto.

"What was that?"

Looking up defiantly, Naruto glared at Kiba.

"What if he comes back?"

"Naruto, I will not tell you he's not coming back. We both know that as long as he lives he will. But we also both know that it will be a long time before his mission is finished. You can't wait around forever." Kiba said, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

"What if for some reason he comes back in a week or so. It's not likely, but what if? How would you feel if the one you loved gave up on you in less than a week – less than a few days?" Naruto was screaming now, his eyes over bright.

"But you are not giving up. You're doing this for your safety. He will understand."

There was no use arguing. They understood that, but neither was willing to give up.

"I will not leave yet! Give me a month or so-"

"A month is too long, Naruto!"

Quieting, the blond looked at Kiba.

"I got a letter, Kiba. I know he's not too far away. If we leave now, how will he know where to send news?"

Kiba was becoming more and more furious.

"A letter? A simple little letter is why you are willing to risk yours andSasuke's baby!" he whispered venomously.

"Shut up Kiba. Just shut up." Naruto was tired. He was emotional, and he did not feel like being proven wrong at this point in time.

"You don't understand Kiba. Do you know how badly I want to speak to him? Just to see him even. It's only been three days and I feel like I am being torn apart. If it was any other mission I would be fine. Under any other circumstances. You just don't understand." He felt like crying. At any given moment they would start to fall. He was not ready to cry in front of people. Not even his friends. He couldn't add this onto his list of shitty things that happened to him.

Kiba looked at him incredulously.

"I don't understand?" he whispered.

Naruto looked at him, finally realizing how harsh his words were.

"Kiba... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring up-"

"Don't. Don't even think of talking about him. At least Sasuke left for yours and his safety. We both know what would have happened if anyone of the people after you two found out about you being a couple." Kiba laughed bitterly, the sour look seeming so unnatural on his face.

"Your love cared about you. Mine...mine obviously didn't. My love left for no reason at all. He didn't have our safety or revenge as an excuse. No. He just up and left, but wait. Maybe he was better than Sasuke. He said goodbye to my face at least." He lowered his voice, his mouth set into an ugly sneer.

"This never meant anything anyway. It was just a play we acted out. A show. I am sick of this show now. So I guess it is time we went our separate ways."

Naruto gasped.

"You n-never said anything."

"What would be the point? We are both the same. Neither of us want pity."

Kiba drew out a long sigh.

Naruto moved closer, all thoughts of his own problems gone.

"He's been missing for a year; can you really still not say his name?" he whispered quietly, looking steadily into Kiba's eyes.

"What do you mean!" Kiba snapped back quickly.

"You didn't say it. You haven't said it since he went missing."

"I can...I just don't want to. I can...but it just hurts to, so I would rather not," Kiba sulkily admitted.

"Have you ever thought that maybe he said those harsh words because he knew something was going to happen to him? Maybe he thought it would be easier for you to move on if you thought he never cared."

"I am not here to discuss my problems; problems that are a year old, okay? We are talking about you. And as much as I would like to believe what you are saying, that does not seem very likely. It sounds more like something your Sasuke would do. Let's get off this subject, and move on to the fact that you need to get out of the village." Kiba folded his arms, his lips set in a stern line.

"Just give me a week, Kiba. I promise you we will be out of here in a week." He knew he was fighting a losing battle.

"'We' as in you and the baby, or 'we' as in you, the baby, and me?" Kiba tried to keep the anxious look off his face.

"Well I'm going to need somebody to hold my hair back while I puke." He grinned evilly up at Kiba, almost laughing at how happy Kiba seemed at this simple news.

"Does that mean I get to be an uncle?" Kiba asked excitedly, all gloom from the previously depressing conversation gone.

"Yes," Naruto laughed. "Yes you are."

-.-

I miss you

A/N

Oooooo. I wonder what happened to Kiba's love. I wonder who it is. Ooooooo. Hahahahaha. Oh well. You can tell by now I hope that whoever it was that Kiba was with before was a man, making it another cute little yaoi couple for the story. But (just to confuse you more) it may not be the person he is paired with in this story. Any who. I know I promised longer chapters, and I really am trying, so I'm sorry that this only 600 words longer than usual. I hope this is a sign I am getting better at making my chapters longer, and really hope you guys are patient and stick with me. At least I almost doubled my usual length right? Right? No? Oh... I'm sorry. :P

So far I have in my vote for who should end up with Kiba:

Hinata - 2

Neji - 1 (poor Neji, awwww – heh heh)

Shino – 4 (oh wow, p.s, I added in both your votes Pasty and Fishi CX)

Shikamaru – 0 (so far anyway, though there was a sort of vote. I was sort of expecting zero for Neji not Shikamaru, but then again this good as I am a strong ShikaTema fan)

Kankuro – 2 (a bit disappointed with you Kankuro/sigh)

I also had a PM for Itachi, haha. I am really sorry, but that is not going to happen. As much as I am okay with readying it in a few Au fics as a side pairing, I don't think I could write it myself, especially when my story is not AU. Once again, sorry.

You may all be wondering why the hell I updated so soon – though hope fully not complaining P. I must say I was surprised at myself too. I just got a whole lot of reviews in one day and was like, Whoot go me, and started writing like a maniac. I made this deal with myself that I would update whenever I got one chapter ahead, and even though I finished sooner than I thought I would, I decided to update anyway.

Another reason is that Prelim High School exams in New Zealand are starting up, and since I tutor quite a few High Schoolers, I don't think I'll have much time at all to update. I would feel bad if I didn't update at least once a week, so I thought I would just update now. It may take a while for the next to come up though, so I am sorry.

The next poll I have will be in the next chapter. It will be on when you think Sasuke should come back and how.

See ya later.

A/N