Summary: He left again. It didn't make a difference that he had convinced the Hokage to make it official mission. The fact is he left. And he didn't even have the guts to say goodbye face to face. Who needs a stupid letter?
Warnings: Yaoi, Lemons, Mpreg Angst Swearing
Rating: Mature
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, nor do I wish to own the rights to Naruto or its characters
Letters
Chapter Five
-.-
I miss you
-.-
He didn't know what he had been hoping for. Maybe a tear streaked poem; one with cheesy over used lines and almost empty words that could easily be lies, but sounded so sweet that the reader never cared. Whatever it was that he had been anticipating, this topped it.
Three little words.
Not the three words others would want to hear most, but beautiful all the same. They made his heart soar and weep and brought a smile to his face. Even this was enough.
A week.
All he had was a week.
He had no idea, no clue at all what could be accomplished with this period of grace he had be given. What could come out of it? All he wanted was to know where the letters were coming from. It hurt so much to think that Sasuke might have been in the house and he had not noticed. How could he call himself the man's lover if he couldn't even sense his presence? As much as he anticipated a note's arrival, a new letter, he couldn't help but feel he was going slowly insane with each passing one. It was like death by ramen, oh so sweet, but painful all the same.
Sighing softly he placed the scrap of paper with the others. Lying down upon the too big bed, he couldn't help but feel cold. The blankets were warm, the heater on full blast, but his body ached for something more.
Curling on his side, he closed his eyes lazily while stretching out his chakra to the tiny ball deep within him. The little bundle of flames that always made him happy.
It was like being in love. No matter how much pain you are in, how down you are, just seeing them, feeling them near you, would take it all away. It baffled him that he could feel this way about a being he had never met. He wasn't stupid contrary to popular belief, he had no doubt in his mind that he would love their child with all his soul; he had just always thought that the feelings would come after the baby was born, or at least when he/she had a proper body. Right now, it was just a mass of cells with a small flame of chakra in the middle.
He was worried.
As much as he wanted to meet the baby, he didn't want the child being born into the world as it was now, and he was pretty sure that it wouldn't change much in the course of a few months. There was nothing to be done about this problem though. He couldn't slow down the rate of growth. For now, sleep was calling and it sounded pretty damn tempting.
-.-
There was so much Naruto had to do, and all he had was a week. First off, he needed to find something to put the letters in. He thought that a very clean ramen bowl would be the best. The two things that meant the most to him together sounded right to him. But after much deliberation, he realized that not only would Sasuke kill him, but it also didn't have a lid.
Wandering Konoha markets, he thought on all that had changed. The village's idea of him hadn't changed much on a whole, but they way they acted out had. He was a jounin that deserved respect, and this meant that the only thing they could do was make snide comments or throw him dirty looks. These he ignored; there was no point in getting upset anymore over such little things. He had earned the trust of a few more citizens and gotten more smiles than he used too.
Just the smiles almost made things bearable.
Moving in closer to one of the smaller stalls, he let his eyes rove over the objects ready to be sold. Already he had seen five different stalls, and nothing jumped out to him. Nothing screamed Sasuke.
Moving onto the next, he looked for a bit before deciding that there was nothing here either. Preparing to go to the other side of the market in hopes of his luck being better there, his eye was caught by a very dark, but very plain wooden box. It was so simple that it could easily be over looked.
Moving closer to inspect it, he carefully lifted the latch.
The inside shocked him.
Velvet adorned the inner walls, polished black gems in every corner.
It was perfect.
Maybe someone else would buy a beautifully ornate box when thinking of Sasuke, something that trapped your attention for a bit. But this was so much better. The simplicity of the front made you look past it, no one would ever think much of it.
But once opened, you were trapped forever.
It was like his heart.
So cold and dark, concrete walls surrounding it, and never a smile to make the journey to its center easier. But if you kept at it, persevered to the very end, the reward was unimaginable. That someone who seemed so arrogant and aloft could ever be warm was astounding.
And as sickly sweet as it would sound, he was the only one with the key.
This boisterous, obnoxious boy had been all that it took to break down the walls. Who would have thought? Everything about him an opposite, but everything about him just right.
Making his way home, he secretly smirked to himself. The damn bastard would be shocked at how a little inanimate object summed him up perfectly.
-.-
Naruto guessed people were right. Things did get easier. Waking up seemed to take less and less effort, though sleep was still as much the siren as ever; but he had a baby to blame so he wasn't too worried. What he was worried about though was Sasuke. The letters had stopped, and with this being his last day left in Konoha, he had no idea what to do.
Fleeing was out of the question, he had already tried that. Kiba had smiled softly and asked if it was really worth the risk. That had been his downfall. If Kiba had yelled, called him stupid or even tried to force him to stay, he could have fought. He could have used pride as an excuse, but as it was now, he had nothing. The quiet, understanding way Kiba had spoken had more effect than a slap to the face.
It wasn't worth it.
As much as it hurt him to admit, it wasn't. Not only would he never forgive himself if something had happened to the baby, but Sasuke probably wouldn't be able to either.
He moved to his bedside table, ready to pack away the last of his things. He had procrastinated for the larger part of the day and with only half an hour till departure, and he knew his time was up. Pulling a plain wooden box from the draw, he leafed through the neatly piled contents for the most recent letter. It had been found on top of one of his instant ramen packages, a slowly melting ice sculpture being used as a paper weight upon it.
-.-
Did you know,
That hearts are like glass?
Sure everyone would think that is because they are so fragile...
But I think not.
I think that hearts are like glass because,
When someone gets close enough,
They can see right through them.
Sometimes though,
People have their curtains drawn
To keep out unwanted darkness.
So that at night,
Their lights aren't swallowed into the never ending,
Ever expanding colorless pit.
I have mine closed for the opposite reason though.
I am afraid of this light.
My curtains only open when the sun has set.
If the happiness that came with the dawning sun ever reached me,
I would forget.
Forget all that has been done to me,
My need for revenge would be gone.
I do not wish to stay in my corner of depression,
But I never wish to lose sight of my family's honor.
You though,
Came forcefully into my home.
Like a gust of wind,
You blew open my curtains
And it scared me.
But I didn't forget,
And you never pushed me to 'get over it' as many others.
For some reason, you understand.
So as selfish as it sounds,
I hope,
For my sake,
That you will understand once more.
-.-
This letter, over all the others, made him feel the worst. It made him feel so guilty for being angry. Made him feel downright stupid for not having more compassion towards Sasuke's needs. After though, he just felt pissed. The bastard had done it on purpose! He couldn't yell at him now when he came back. He could almost hear the silent laughter coming from the arrogant man. It made his blood boil.
To think, such touching words would be used in this way. Sure others may say him paranoid, and others still, would call him crazy, but he couldn't help it. The Uchiha was sneaky, and he knew it well.
Sighing, he placed the box into the bag he would be carrying. As silly as it may sound, he didn't want it out of reaching distance.
Hoisting the bag onto his back, he moved to pick up his other two bags before a knock at the door caught his attention. Mumbling to himself like an old woman, he made his way to the door. Being greeted by a grinning Kiba, he very nearly slammed the door closed again.
Sighing once more, he went back into his bedroom to pick up his forgotten bags, not even bothering to say a hello in the direction of his friend.
"I'll take that as a 'I still don't want to go'." Kiba's grin would have been blinding had Naruto bothered to look.
"Of course I don't but you're right, and before I hear an 'I told you so' I will warn you that I am about to kill something and that could very well be you."
Kiba's grin faltered slightly, before coming right back, though it seemed a bit more fake than the previous one.
"Uh, I would uh, never do that, yeah..."
Naruto glared at him quickly before throwing the heavier of the two bags at his face.
"I'm pregnant, so you carry it. Be thankful I'm not making you carry both."
"Hey! You and I both know that it's too early for you to be pulling those sorts of orders. Wait till you are actually in your second trimester...user," Kiba grumbled quietly as he shifted his bags around to make room for the new one.
"Uncle privileges."
Hearing a snort Naruto couldn't help but grin either.
"So...you ready? We won't be coming back for a long time."
Naruto looked at his feet knowing he couldn't answer.
"Tsunade knows the drill; she will send word of any and all news. Don't worry so much, okay?"
"...okay."
"Well! Let's get going then!"
-.-
A/N
Okay, first off,
SOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRY!
I did not mean to take so long in updating. Sure I was busy, but if I am completely honest, there were a few times when I could have started writing but I was just lazy. So I am really sorry!
Secondly, we have a big problem.
I am missing a chapter! (Well half of one anyway)
I don't know where Naruto and Kiba will be staying. This means there has been a bit of a change in the poll I am having in this chapter. I said it would be a Sasuke one but I think this little crisis is a bit more important (gasp! Even more than Sasuke!... Yes) So here it is:
Where Naruto should stay:
Old Uchiha House – It will be just like an old abandoned one (since they are all dead, duh) and I could use it as a legitimate reason to bring in Itachi later on. Oh the drama!
Minato's House – The Hokage will have found this house for Naruto, and it will turn out to be the Fourth's old house.
Little House In Forest – A place Naruto already knew of prior and I think I could make this one a bit funny.
So, what do you think of the options? Lame? Cliché? Oh well.
So far in the previous poll, it is only really between Shino and Kankuro. For that, I have already made up my mind on how it is going to work out, and I think it will be good. I have never really been a fan of Shino, but it's not like I don't like him, I just never really got to know him. But for the sake of the fans, I have been reading up on him. He was really popular and is most definitely going to be an important character in the story. Kankuro on the other hand, I quite like him but I don't know how to bring him in. He will most probably come in way after Shino but will be important to the plot too... I guess, or well I hope he will anyway. (Hah! See I made it so you still don't know who Kiba ends up with, heheheh... I'm so mean /sigh)
Once again, it may take me a while to update. I stupidly gave my number to my students (is that what you call people you tutor?) and they have been calling/texting me non-stop. Mostly it's not even school related. Damn kids. One actually asked me to bring alcohol to his birthday, what a silly. He's turning 18, but since his party is before the actual date, he's not allowed any. I think his parents did it on purpose so he couldn't have alcohol. He's just trying to get me in trouble because I told his parents he needs to try working harder. Either that or stop skipping school. Whichever one he finds more appealing I guess.
Thank you all so much for the reviews, they make my life bearable, what with all my aggressive friends and annoying students. I don't know what I would do without you guys. Sorry for this chapter not being much longer than the last. I know I said I am trying to make them longer, but it's getting hard with all the blocks I've been having. Not that I'm trying to make excuses for myself XP. It's about 500 hundred words longer, so that leads me to believe that I am going up in fives (hundreds) and will eventually reach my goal of having one chapter 5000 words long. Though it may take a while. I might even have to wait till my next story to be able to accomplish that goal. Oh well, I shall keep at it.
Sorry if this is turning soap opera-y. Cheese is just so easy to write XP. I'm going to do my best to move away from this genre, and will try and man Sasuke up a bit heh heh.
From now on I am going to keep the dialogue down to a minimum. Sorry, it's just I don't think it really goes with this story, and it feels to me like it is ruining the flow. When they do talk, I'll try and keep it funny (wait... isn't that why it ruins the flow?... mmmhmmm, I'll have to think on that).
Well anyway, see ya later!
A/N