Title: Harvest Moon

Series: Stargate Atlantis

Theme: Drama /Romance

Characters: Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

Rating/Warning: R/Sexual Situations/Language

Summary: Kanaan's words had not helped the situation; in fact they had only made it more complicated, but they did help Teyla decide when and how best to tell him.

Links: http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

Chapter 5: Rumor Mill

After putting Torren to bed Teyla and Kanaan sat down to discuss the potential new home for the Athosians. She told him of the rumors that had begun to spread throughout the villages, of the messenger who'd brought the invitation to the Athosians and the day that she would depart and meet with Halling. She suggested that it would be an ideal time for their family to spend a few days in the village, as there would be much to discuss and important decisions to be made in a very short period of time.

"It would be a good time to present your findings to the Council as well."

Teyla suggested.

"Your ideas for improvement in agriculture could be a valuable tool during negotiations, if we decide to accept this offer."

Kanaan frowned as he spoke.

"If we accept? Why ever would we not? Teyla, this is exactly what our people need. With the Lanteans leaving in a year this is a chance for us to reconnect and grow. Ever since Michael took our people captive and with so many of us having to go through treatment and recovery, we have remained isolated. When Atlantis left with no idea of when or if it would ever return, as Halling said, our people were forced to reach out to other worlds, to seek out old alliances and to make new ones. This must continue, for the good of our people."

Teyla smiled at Kanaan's passion. Many months had passed since she'd seen him so excited about something other than farming.

"I see your point and I agree with all you have said, but we must proceed with caution. Ultimately, it will be the Council's decision as to whether or not we will accept their offer, but I do not want us to rush into something only to regret it later. We must be sure that all is as it seems."

Kanaan stared at her, confused.

"Teyla, these are people that we have known for years, some of which we have broken bread and traded with for generations. What else could it possibly be? Where are these suspicions coming from?"

She sighed. He'd never questioned the way she'd done things before and wondered why he did so now.

"As you said, some of them we know and some of them we do not. I am merely being cautious, as should we all. Our people cannot afford to experience anymore setbacks or to lose any more lives. We have to take precautions and think things through. Surely, you can see the wisdom in that."

Kanaan hesitated before he spoke.

"I see the wisdom of your words, but I hear the voice of John Sheppard."

Teyla suppressed a flash of anger and tried to remain calm. Was he accusing her of not being able to make her own decisions?

"I did talk to John and he encouraged me to use caution, but there was no need. As with any decision that I make, for the good of our people, I carefully weigh all options and on occasion seek the advice of the Council before making any decisions. That is what a good leader does. "

"Oh, I understand."

He sat back in his chair, his tone cynical.

"John is considered a leader, a hero, among his people so he would understand, while I, being no one of importance, would not."

Teyla was taken completely by surprise. Where Kanaan's hostility had come from she didn't know, but he had no reason, well at least that he knew of, to be angry. She froze. Unless, somehow….? Dread twisted in the pit of her stomach. But who'd done it? No, she breathed, that was impossible. No one, not even Rodney, would have told. It had to be something else.

"Kanaan, where is this coming from?"

He looked away and sighed heavily. Then reached up, running his hand through his hair and then folded his arms over his chest.

"I have no ill will towards John Sheppard. How could I?"

His words said one thing, but his body language, even his tone said something else.

"He has saved my life and the lives of our people on more than one occasion. Nor am I angry at you. I have been in the city for too long and have allowed my insecurities to get the best of me."

Teyla shifted uneasily in her chair. She tried not to think of the past and to focus on this moment.

"I know that you love me, that you chose to be with me and for us to be a family. But at times it is difficult for me to deal with the closeness of your relationship with John. He is a good man, a strong leader, and to Rodney, Ronon and especially you he is the best of friends. When I think of what he went through to find you and bring you home, to bring us home, there are no words to truly convey my gratitude. Knowing him as I do makes me wonder why you would choose to be with me when you could have him."

He held up his hand stopping her words.

"It is easy to see how you two complement each other. Even a blind man can see that. And yet, you choose to remain friends."

Kanaan shrugged.

"I do not understand it, but I am grateful because I cannot imagine my life without you and Torren in it."

He laughed at himself.

"I just need a few days away from the city, to go home. Just you, me and the baby and then everything will be back to normal."

Teyla sat in silence. Every word he spoke weighed heavily on her conscious. She considered telling Kanaan about Ryan, but then immediately decided against it. She would wait until the day of the meeting drew near. It would give them a chance to talk away from the city and give him a chance to think things through. Kanaan's words had not helped the situation; in fact they had only made it more complicated, but they did help Teyla decide when and how best to tell him.

Kanaan reached across the table and grasped her hand.

"We should begin to consider when would be a good time to return home on a permanent basis. I know it will be a difficult transition for you as well as your team, but the sooner we move the more time we will have to ease into the change. If all goes well and the invitation for the new alliance is accepted, we could move to the new location with the rest of our people. It would allow us to be involved in the building of our new community from the very beginning. It would also help establish you as one of its new leaders. Do you not agree?"

Teyla nodded, ignoring the pounding of her heart. Just the thought of leaving Atlantis made her feel uneasy. For now, she had enough to worry about and was in no mood to discuss leaving the city.

"The idea is worth some consideration. I will think on it, but for now I am going to bed."

She rose from her seat and kissed Kanaan goodnight, then grabbed her nightclothes and headed for the bathroom. Behind the closed door, Teyla stared at her reflection in the mirror and wondered when her personal life had gotten so complicated. She closed her eyes and saw John's face, his expression was subdued, withdrawn. He looked tired, as if something weighed heavily on his soul. And it wasn't difficult for her to image what that weight could be. Teyla buried her face in her hands and groaned. She'd already hurt one man that she loved and was about to hurt another, but it was a necessary evil. She refused to lie to Kanaan, about her and John's past or about their future. She would consider his words, but she would make no plans or promises until she told him what happened on Ryan. Because his actions, once he knew that truth, would change everything.