I Can't Undo The Times We Disagreed, But I Can't Ignore The Way I feel

Bloody long title, but I wanted to shove it all in. It's from the song King Of Fools, by Poets Of The Fall, and honestly the whole song basically sums up Chris and Jill's feelings. It's a lovely song anyway, and POTF are terribly underrated.

Got to put it out there, I apologise if any characters are OOC, especially Claire, because well I don't really know that much about her personality. I've tried my best! Anyway, enjoy! And thanks reviewers!

After a couple of weeks, things seemed to go back to the way they were. Anna had recovered and settled back into her life, Luke was well on the road to recovery and Chris was just ecstatic to have his precious daughter back. The only thing missing in the equation was Jill, he hadn't spoken much to her, nor seen her. To some extent Jill's absence gave Chris the chance to focus on the other important aspects of his life, Claire and Anna. But he knew as much as everyone else, he could never let go Jill completely. No matter what he would be compelled back to the one his heart desired.

"I called you here, cause well... We're pretty stuck." Jake's voice snapped Chris out of his thoughts and back to the conversation the two were in. Chris fiddled and sat himself straighter in the office chair, attempting to focus more on the problem at hand.

"Well how did the raid of the facility go? Didn't you get information there?" Chris asked. He had still taken a few days off just to stick with his family, what he deemed the most important thing in his life now. But he was still just as interested in the case.

"No. Chris, it was a ghost town. There was very little information on anything, the few people found were dead, and this Alex woman...According to the information we got, she doesn't exist. There's nothing on her. Now that's not to say I don't believe you. Someone left in a hurry alright, but we just don't have enough information. We'll try our best to get her."

"...She is a Wesker after all. She's going to know how to keep her head low." Chris replied. His heart sunk. He knew this wouldn't be easy, but he was resting his hopes on the facility to gain more information on the mystery Alex.

"True. We'll do as much as we can, this is a serious case. Another Wesker poses a real threat to humanity. I'll keep you updated." Jake spoke rising from his chair to grab the coffee on his work table. Chris nodded and was about to speak until his mobile vibrated strongly in his jean pocket. He retrieved the phone and glanced to the message. His heart stopped when he saw the name was Jill. He hadn't heard from her in a long time, and rarely did she initiate the small conversations they had.

"I have to go, Jake. Thanks for everything. Don't be a stranger." Chris made the decision to leave Jake, he couldn't throw away Jill's proposition of meeting up. Stepping out of the office, fear began to boil within him. He couldn't tell if she was meeting up to make amends or to give the final ultimatum to him.

Claire shoved the door open with her feet, attempting to keep the two coffee cups in her hand steady, all the while balancing a bunch of flowers under her arm. May have been a little extravagant for a man she only knew for two weeks, but she felt it necessary. From what she had seen no one else had really come to visit Luke. She was shocked to find Luke standing over the hospital bed, packing various items into his bag.

"Hi." Luke jumped slightly, turning around to face her. A smile played on his lips as he saw the flustered woman attempting to find somewhere to plant her stuff. "Are you going to just stand there smiling like a goof ball, or are you going to help me?"

Luke chuckled and lifted the cups from her delicate hands, making room on the table to set them down. Claire plucked the flowers from under her arm and handed them to a Luke, a smile now forming on her lips.

"How've you been?"

"Better thank you. I get to go leave finally." Luke replied. Claire could see he had recovered, he seemed more content, though his arm and shoulder was still firmly bandaged in a sling.

"Where will you stay?" She asked, concerned for the obviously non native man.

"I've booked into a hotel for a while. And then who knows. I don't have any stuff. I've been presumed dead for a good few years, and I'm not even from these parts anyway." Honestly, Luke hadn't a clue what to do. He had no one to turn too.

"Don't you have any family?" She asked. Luke sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I doubt it anymore. I probably have some strange distant relatives back in Scotland, but who knows." Too much time had been wasted. Luke was an only child, and by now his parents would have died by natural causes most likely. He always had a small family anyway.

"...You don't have a partner?" Claire asked, she hadn't forgotten the wedding ring on his finger. As she spoke, she regretted asking. It was a little personal to ask someone she hardly knew, and immediately his face darkened which made her feel even worse.

"No."

Luke obviously didn't wish to talk about it; his tone was enough to convey this.

"I might end up moving back to Scotland. But I'll have to set up camp here for a while, until this investigation is over." Luke said, quickly changing the subject.

"How long do you think it'll be?" She asked, setting herself next to him on the edge of the not so comfortable bed.

"Honestly, I don't know. I feel so useless I don't know anything."

"Didn't they find other workers with the raid?" Claire reached over and sipped some of her coffee to occupy her hands.

"It was a small amount of people working there. The BSAA told me the other scientist who I worked with was found dead in the facility." He said. Claire's face softened and a slight frown began to form on her thin lips.

"I'm sorry, Luke. Nothing seems to be going right for you." She replied, patting him lightly on his good shoulder.

"Don't be. Sherry was a real bitch anyway... She was the one who shot me, she got her comeuppance."

"...Sherry?" Claire frowned, it couldn't be the same Sherry she was thinking of. It just couldn't be.

"Sherry Birkin. A very talented scientist..." All the nightmares Claire had attempted to forget had came up all at the same time. First the memories of Steve, and now she had to relieve the consequences of Raccoon. It seemed her nightmares would always haunt her.

Claire's eyes began to water again. She was disgusted to think she had forgotten about the young girl.

"Claire? What is it?" Luke asked concerned. He thought he had said something to upset her, he didn't understand.

"My friend and I, we helped her in the Raccoon incident. I just...everything happened so fast, I just forgot about her. I always just thought she would have been okay." Claire wiped away the tears. She wouldn't cry this time. Her tears never helped anyone, she had to try to be strong. "This is my fault."

"Don't be ridiculous. I think what she saw in Raccoon just changed her. As it would any person. It changed you for the better, and unfortunately her for the worst." Luke spoke nothing but the truth. Sherry's end and change wasn't due to Claire. Life is made of choices, and after Raccoon, Sherry made the wrong ones.

Claire just nodded solemnly; it was hard to believe that once little innocent girl was now dead. Bad news always seemed to happen all at once. Luke reached his free arm around and gave a soothing pat on her back. It was a small gesture, but it didn't go unappreciated. She flopped her head against his shoulder in defeat and sighed. After a few seconds of recollecting her thoughts, she brought herself back up.

"We should get going. I want to leave this hospital as soon as." Luke said, stepping carefully off the bed.

"I'll drive you home." Claire said, sadness still evident in her voice. He gave her a comforting smile, which she tried her upmost to return.

Chris parked outside Rebecca's small semidetached. He didn't spot her car, so presumably Jill had picked this time to meet up so the two could be undisturbed. He knocked nervously on the door. It felt like it was his first date again, for the first time he was awkward among Jill's presence.

"Hey. I'm happy you came, Chris." Jill opened the door wide and led him into Rebecca's cosy living room. He sat stiffly on the sofa.

"I'm glad you decided to call me." She gave him a small smile, one he hadn't seen in a long time so he cherished it. "So what did you want to talk about?"

"...What do you think?" Jill let out an awkward chuckle, sitting down next to him. "I just...I want to know what's happening between us, Chris? What are we? Are we friends...What?"

"I don't know, Jill. But you know what I want, what I've always wanted." His heart filled with sadness as he looked into the eyes he had loved for so long.

"I know...I don't understand. I'm so confused." Tears began to well, as she attempted to maintain her composure. "Things have been so messed up. And I wasn't happy, and you still have made me angry...I just think if we were meant to be together it wouldn't be as difficult as this..."

Chris understood where she was coming from, he asked himself the same thing on many of occasions. But he was a sucker for love. He never thought it would be easy anyway, but in his eyes love could prevail over all in the end anyway. Jill had a more realistic view.

"Do you love me?" He asked. His question threw her off slightly, she wasn't expecting it. And it seemed like a life time since she had actually professed her love.

"..Yes." Jill whispered. Perhaps there was still hope for them. "But with everything that has happened, I'm finding it harder and harder to love you like I once did..."

"I understand that." Chris closed his eyes gently, it was hard to hear, but it was the way it was. He couldn't force her to love him. "But I don't want to be with anyone else, Jill... Isn't that enough?"

"That doesn't erase the times we've argued..."

"But if we love each other. Can't we get past it?" Chris argued back to her. He wasn't willing to let her go easily.

Jill sighed; honestly she didn't know if love was enough. She was scared of going back to the way things were, she needed to be sure Chris wouldn't repeat his previous actions of denying her. And with the way he had changed, she just needed some conformation the man she fell in love with was still there somewhere.

"Jill. I haven't even looked at another woman, whether we've been together or not." Rarely did Chris open up his heart to her, but when he did, it always had the same affect on her; Jill's eyes began to fill again. He spoke only the truth. Even through the months of pain the two had, and being separated, he had never taken solace in another woman's arms. And he believed if Jill was the same, their relationship was definitely worth fighting for. "Tell me you're the same? Because then, Jill, we're definitely meant to be... But I have to know."

...

"Chris..." Jill spoke in a low voice, as a few tears fell down her delicate cheeks. It touched her heart to know he was faithful even in separation. Especially when a man like Chris could get anyone he wanted. But that made her feel even worse... Her aversion of the question hadn't gone unnoticed by Chris. He knew her all too well, she was hiding something. Perhaps her tears weren't only of pain for Chris, but maybe they were more tears of guilt.

"Jill?" Chris asked, as she removed her eye contact with him. Anger and pain began to boil within him, but he remained as calm as he could. But he could see right through her. "Tell me there isn't someone else?"

...

"There isn't anyone else." Jill replied nervously, at his demanding question.

"You're lying." Chris scoffed. He couldn't believe he had poured his heart of for her, and she wouldn't even be honest to him.

"Chris." She warned him. She didn't like his sudden change in attitude, and she was making sure he knew this.

"Jill why won't you just tell me? What are you hiding?" Chris demanded, she just rolled her eyes annoyed at his anger. "...Is it Carlos?"

"No. He has a girlfriend, Chris."Jill spat back at him. She knew it would come back to her friendship with Carlos, it always did. Chris Redfield was a jealous man. And Jill was telling the truth, Carlos had told her he had met someone. And from the details he gave, it was moving quickly. Jill couldn't explain the feeling she got when he told her, it wasn't jealously, but she definitely felt something she couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Did anything happen between you two?" He asked, still annoyed at her reluctance to answer him. Chris just wouldn't let it go. Jill sighed, as more and more tears fell. She was unable to lie to him.

...

"He kissed me." Jill whispered quickly, ashamed at herself. "But it didn't mean anything."

Regardless of if it mattered or not, Chris was hurt. She had always denied anything between them, and she was lying. He didn't know what to do; all faith had been ripped out of him.

"When?" He locked solid eye contact with her, he needed to know she wasn't going to lie again.

"A while back. It was after I left."

Chris nodded. He didn't need to know anything else, and he certainty didn't want to hear anything else. He had heard enough. He loved her unconditionally; his faith may have wavered at times, but never did his love for her falter. And he knew it was true love, because he had never strayed. This knowledge led him to believe what she felt for him wasn't true love. And he believed, in that case, they just weren't worth fighting for anymore.

Oh! Told you it wasn't to get nice. Well I had to have Chris find out about their kiss at some stage, just to show things come back to haunt you. Plus it seems Jill has been seen like the victim throughout, when it actual fact she hasn't been as sweet as she could have been either.

Artichoke,

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