Title: Harvest Moon

Series: Stargate Atlantis

Theme: Drama /Romance

Characters: Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

Rating/Warning: R/Sexual Situations/Language

Summary: To leave Atlantis shortly before it departed for Earth was one thing, but for her to leave Atlantis, never to see her friends again, with them being only a Stargate away was something else entirely.

Links: http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

Chapter 6: Whispers of a Dream

Teyla arched her back as pleasure flowed through her. She tried to lift her hips, but strong hands held them firmly in place. She opened her eyes just as he claimed her lips in another kiss, smothering her plea. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she moaned as he moved against her. The gentle slip and pull of flesh on flesh was driving her insane. Slowly the pressure began to build, nourished by an onslaught of heat and pleasure until she exploded with release.

"John!"

Teyla stared into the darkness of her room. She glanced first at Kanaan and then Torren, but both still slumbered, undisturbed by her cry. Teyla sighed with relief. She brushed the sweat from her brow and lay back, took a deep breath and tried to calm her racing heart. It was another dream, a vivid dream, so much so that she could still feel the heat of his touch. Teyla wasn't sure if it was the fact that she missed John or her guilty conscious that made the dream come so frequently. She only knew that she could no longer carry this secret. It was finally time to tell Kanaan the truth.

SSSSS

Halling and Teyla returned to the village shortly after midday meal. They immediately spoke with the Council upon their return and remained deep in discussion until late afternoon. It was evening when Teyla approached Kanaan and asked that he walk with her. They wondered down to the stream and sat by the waterside. Teyla closed her eyes remembering the last time that she leaned against the massive tree trunk and sighed. She glanced at Kanaan, who smiled back at her, and felt her stomach muscles tighten.

"I have to tell you something that you will not like."

He stilled, waiting for her to continue.

"While on our last mission from Earth, we encountered a race of people who did not respect women. Their leader took us captive and threatened to mate me with one of his people as punishment for my transgressions. Because I was a visitor and ignorant of their ways he gave me one concession, a chance to pick a mate of my own choosing."

Teyla paused, watching the expression on his face, which quickly shifted from confusion to concern.

"I was given one hour to choose and warned that if I failed to do so, one would be chosen for me. I was also told that after he claimed me, as a precaution, I would be taken off world and hidden for a period of time in the hopes that the Lanteans would give up search or that I would decide to stay. We tried to find a way to escape, but there was none. We considered stalling until another team arrived, but ran out of time. In the end I had to choose."

By now she could easily see his anger, his whole body shook with it. Teyla sighed, but refused to look away.

"I chose John."

The pain that filled his eyes broke her heart. She would have stopped there, but she needed him to understand her point of view. Teyla wiped the moisture from her eyes.

"I am sorry that I hurt you, but I had no choice. The idea of being forced by some stranger and then taken away…."

"Could you not have lied?"

She shook her head.

"I couldn't do it. I couldn't chance it. We were monitored. If there had been any doubt another would have been chosen. Atlantis was scheduled to leave in two days. If I went missing there was a good chance I would never see you or Torren again. I had no choice."

Teyla struggled to breathe between her tears. She watched Kanaan as he too wiped at his eyes, but still he glared at her.

"Why?"

He asked his voice low and hollow.

"Why John and not Rodney or Ronon? I think I know the answer, but I need to hear you say it. So go ahead and tell me the truth, why him? "

Teyla looked away. She had prayed that he wouldn't ask her this question because it would only cause more pain. But she'd promised to tell the truth, no matter what. He deserved that much.

"Rodney and Ronon are family. I couldn't sleep with them."

He pressed.

"And John?"

She met his gaze.

"I love John. I love Ronon and Rodney too, but John is different from the others."

Teyla waited, expecting him to yell at her, to rage and scream at her betrayal, but there was only silence. She looked at him only to find that his gaze had shifted to the ground. She continued.

"I don't know how to explain it, but I also love you. I chose to be with you and for us to be a family. It is what I have always wanted. It is what I still want."

Kanaan stood his body stiff with anger. He breathed deeply, trying to control his emotions.

"What you want may not be possible, Teyla."

Then he suddenly turned and walked away. Teyla sat stunned. She'd expected many things, an argument, accusations, hours upon hours of her having to reassure him of her love, but she'd never expected him to just leave. She'd expected him to fight, for their family, for her. John would have…. She dropped her head and sighed, but there was no point in denying the truth. John would have screamed her head off and probably given her a shake or two. Ronon would have killed whomever she'd slept with. Even Rodney would have thrown a fit. And she would have preferred it that way. She would have preferred anything other than quiet anger and bottled up rage.

Teyla stared into the darkness, feeling confused. For days she'd gone over this conversation in her head, imagining various reactions from Kanaan. From him she'd expected fireworks. For her, she'd expected to feel sorrow, sadness, pain, even remorse. She'd even prepared herself to accept loss, if necessary, but not once had she expected to feel disappointment.

SSSSS

In the days that followed Teyla saw very little of Kanaan. He made an appearance on the fourth day as she packed for her return to Atlantis. He looked tired, withdraw and still very angry.

"I will not return to the city."

Teyla nodded, she'd expected as much.

"I understand."

His tone grew cynical.

"Do you?"

He asked, his expression almost a sneer.

"Do you? Really? Because I don't plan to set foot in that city ever again."

"Kanaan, I-"

He cut her off.

"I need time to think. To see if this is something that we can work past. If it is, you will need to come home. I will not have you living and working so closely with a man that I cannot trust. Your work with the expedition would have to end."

Kanaan kissed Torren goodbye and left, leaving Teyla speechless from his ultimatum. Once the surprise wore off she grew angry, outraged even, that he would make such demands on her, but soon reasoned that his words were clouded by his own anger and fear. She hoped that with time he would reconsider them otherwise there would be a serious problem. To leave Atlantis shortly before it departed for Earth was one thing, but for her to leave Atlantis, never to see her friends again, with them being only a Stargate away was something else entirely. She wouldn't do it and he had no right to ask her to. Teyla only prayed that it didn't come to that.

She slowly finished packing her things, gathered Torren and began their trip to the gate. Halling offered his assistance, for which she was eternally grateful. He didn't ask any questions, only bid her and Torren farewell and watched as they stepped into the gate.

SSSSS

When Teyla exited the event horizon she was surprised to find John, Ronon and Rodney waiting in the gateroom. It appeared as if they'd only just arrived a few moments before she did. John looked at Teyla and frowned as the wormhole disengaged. Kanaan's absence was noted by all. His anger quickly boiled over.

"Where the hell is-?"

"John."

Teyla warned and rubbed Torren's back. She sighed heavily and shrugged, having nothing else to say. He remained silent, but his displeasure was evident. John and Ronon stepped forward to help her, taking her backpack and baby's bag. Ronon glared at Rodney until he picked her satchel up off the floor. Rodney stumbled forward, mumbling under his breath.

"What the hell is in here, a pile of bricks?"

Ronon cuffed him across the back of his head and the two began to argue back and forth as they followed John down the corridor. One by one they'd relieved her of her burdens until only she and Torren remained. Teyla hugged her son close, smiling into his hair and trailed behind her teammates. No, she would never willingly leave her Atlantis family any more than they would willingly abandon her people. Somehow, things would work themselves out.