Forgive Me I'm Ashamed, I've Loved Another

Title is from Forgiven by Skillet, it was the only appropriate lyric I could find... I'm very very sorry for the delay, but you know how it is... Thank you reviewers! Also thank you Jane, I can't thank you personally for the review, but you're sweet too! ...I'm such an arse licker. XD

Chris gently opened his eyes, squinting at the morning sun which beamed through the curtains. Immediately his hands went up to his face, attempting to shelter his eyes from the light, and rub the shooting pain in his head away. He was still exhausted and remembered little of the previous night, all he knew was he got pissed out of his mind. As always, he regretted it. It was a big mistake. Already he could tell it was going to be a bad day.

Glancing over his shoulder, it looked like it was going to turn into an even worse one. He let a scream as his eyes focused on another figure next to him. Suddenly his tiredness had disappeared as he shot up like lightening out of the bed, stumbling backwards as he did so.

The figure let out an exasperated grunt, and groggily lifted their head up to see the cause of their awakening. Chris's heart stopped. He stared blankly at the figure, his eyes and jaw wide with fear.

"Sophia? What are you doing here?" He demanded. It came back to him that he had taken a couple of drinks with her, but surely nothing more happened. He wouldn't do that to Jill, whether they were together or not. Surprisingly, the one thing Chris believed in most was faithfulness. He would never go after another woman, even if his body might have told him to do otherwise. But Sophia was in his bed... It looked like he had become the man he dreaded to be.

"Oh my God. What have I done?" He whispered his fears, as his voice shook slighty. His ran his trembling fingers through the messy tresses of hair, as he stepped further from her. He breathed a slight sigh of relief when she sat up still clothed. Immediately, he did the obvious, and checked himself... At least he still had boxers on.

"Please tell me we didn't have sex?"

Sophia let out a humourless laugh, and sat with her legs crossed on his bed.

"I don't know Chris, I can't remember much either... We were pretty drunk." A small smile formed on her lips.

"Tell me, how is this funny?" He demanded, not amused by her casual attitude to the whole situation.

"Calm down Chris... What? Worried I took your virginity?" She chuckled lightly.

"What? ...I'm not a virgin." He said perplexed by her comment.

"Oh come on virgin boy, I thought that was the reason you didn't sleep with me when we were together." She replied, cocky her head playfully to the side.

"No the reason I didn't..." Chris shook his head slighty, he was wasting time playing along with her. "Whatever. Look we have to find out if we slept together...Look for a condom or something."

He frantically searched around the room, while Sophia looked on confused. He was clearly very worried, but as she watched she couldn't help but let out loud giggle. It stopped him in his tracks, and he shot a death glare to her.

"Yeah, cause the first thing going through two drunken horny people is: let's be safe." She said sarcastically. He hung his head in his hands, leaning against the wall of the room.

...

"This isn't funny, Sophia. This is serious. I have to know..." His pleaded with her. The guilt was tearing him apart, and he had no one to blame but himself.

"You're never going to know Chris. Even if we did, it doesn't matter. You said you weren't really with that woman anymore anyway..." She obviously remembered slightly more of their conversations than he did.

"But you have a boyfriend. This is wrong." He argued back to her, it looked like she didn't have the same morals he did. But really, she knew as much as he, if they did sleep together it was a big mistake. She just masked her fear with attempted humour.

"I'll explain what happened to Carlos, and I'm sure we can get past it. We're not really that serious, or strictly exclusive yet..."

"Carlos?" Chris cut her sentence. It couldn't possibly be the same Carlos, he prayed it was just a coincidence.

"...Carlos Oliveira. Yeah I met him a couple of months ago. Hit it off, had great sex... And here we are now." She replied. She made it seem it wasn't that serious, but in reality she was growing to really like Carlos. Even though it went against all her rules on relationships. She was just as scared as Chris.

"Oh God... It just gets worse." Chris closed his eyes, he wished he could just wake up and forget any of this ever happened. He rubbed against the temples of his forehead. "I can't believe this..."

...

"We all make mistakes, Chris..."

"But not like this..." Unusual for him, tears began to prick the corners of his eyes, as he slide further down the wall. "...God. She's never going to forgive this..."

To think Chris found it difficult to forgive one kiss, and look what he had done now. He never thought he would be the one to finally destroy his relationship with Jill. But he knew, if this was true, it would be near impossible for them to overcome.

The door to his bedroom was knocked and swiftly swung open. Sophia hid slightly under the duvet, and Chris quickly brought himself up from the floor. The woman's soft face before him quickly turned sour as she glanced around his room. Her eyes were open with disbelief, and quickly became shadowed with anger. She brought her hand up and swung as hard as possible against Chris's face. He winced but didn't cry out; after all he might have deserved it.

"I'm so sorry..." He whispered as a tear made its way along his features.

"...I'm not the one you should be apologising too." As quickly as she had entered, she had left.

"...Is that your woman?" Sophia asked cautiously.

"Worse...That's my sister."

"...Well, yeah after that, I think I'm going to see Anna briefly and then who knows. That's about my day summed up." Luke said chirpily, while mixing scrambled eggs he was making on the stove. Surprisingly, cooking was a passion of his. And he had no complaints about making lunch for himself and Claire.

Turning from the cooker, he stole a glance at a preoccupied Claire sitting around the kitchen table. He raised his eyebrows at her seeing as he didn't get a reply. She remained focused on the flowers in front of her.

"You seem thoroughly interested in our conversation...Am I that boring?" He joked, a smile forming on his lips. Claire snapped up and looked perplexed towards him. She had really zoned out. The once pretty flowers situated in the middle of the table had now been torn into the tiniest of pieces. Each of the petals and leaves were neatly torn into a little pile in front of her. She barely even realised she had been doing it.

"What's on your mind, wee woman? What's wrong?" Luke asked softly, placing a generous plate of food before her, and taking a seat next to her.

"Is it that obvious?" She asked a slight smile forming as she looked at the meal he had made.

"As obvious as torn up flowers on the table, yeah." He handed her cutlery and began to tuck into his own food.

"...I went to see Chris." Claire began. She didn't eat the food, just played around with it using her fork. Her mind wasn't on eating. "He had spent the night with another woman."

"Whoa. Wouldn't have betted on that..." He didn't know Chris that well, but as with anybody he could see firsthand how devoted the man was to Jill. Even to him, it seemed absurd that Chris would ever stray. "But you know, it could have been a misunderstanding... Besides, we've all done things we regret."

"Don't defend him, Luke. He's taking his love for granted. At least he has some..." Claire understood she probably sounded like a jealous bitch, but that's because she was. She was willing to admit she was jealous of his love. He never seemed to understand what it was like for someone who never found that love...Someone like herself. Luke gave a sympathetic smile towards her; he could see she hadn't had the best time with relationships. That much was obvious.

"Just talk to him. Hear his side." Luke gently placed his hand upon her delicate one and gave a soothing squeeze. He didn't notice the effect he had on her, but automatically her heart fluttered and a small blush appeared on the young girl's features.

Claire had really grown to Luke. She did feel the instant attraction, and as she got to know him more, the attraction grew. She secretly hoped he felt the same.

"We've never really talked about relationships..." She trailed off, hoping he would catch onto to her intentions. She thought it was about time to give the subtle hints that she liked him, and talking about previous relationships was a good start in her eyes. It hadn't gone unnoticed that the wedding ring that was once firmly attached to his finger had now gone.

"Yeah well, nothing to really say... I'm not in one." His reply was sharp to say the least. It hurt her, she wasn't expecting to be shot down like that. She gave a small insincere smile. Maybe he just wanted to be friends. Maybe he didn't feel the same as her. Maybe Claire was destined to never find love.

Daytime TV sucked. Jill flicked through the various channels, everyone showing the same mindless rubbish. It was days like these she wished she was back at work. She still hadn't brought herself to tell Chris. The guilt was beginning to tear away at her, but her fear was stronger and so kept her from telling news of the pregnancy. She didn't even know if he had forgiven her for the kiss yet.

The door to Rebecca's house was knocked and swiftly opened by an incredibly angry looking Carlos. He pushed into the living room, pacing behind the sofa with clenched fists. Jill looked on confused, a smirk appearing due to the oddness of his actions.

"...You told Chris about the pregnancy yet?" He demanded, receiving a slight laugh from Jill.

"No, I will eventually..."

"Well whenever you get him over, make sure I'm there too." He replied angry, receiving another slight chuckle from her lips.

"My goodness Carlos, are you going to tell me what's wrong or just huff and puff everywhere?" He sighed, and perched himself on the edge of the sofa, and she swivelled to face him.

"That son of a bitch slept with my girlfriend." Jill's eyes opened with shock. He couldn't possibly be telling the truth. Her face was flooded with so many emotions, pain, and anger...embarrassment.

"What? No he wouldn't..." Her hands moved to cover the tears that began to flow. Being pregnant didn't help the sea of emotions she was feeling towards Chris.

"Yeah well he did. Sophia told me. She was pretty upset about it."

"Well she was in the wrong too..."

"We'll try and work through it. She explained it to me, it'll just take some time." Jill admired how willing Carlos was to forgive. An attribute she wasn't blessed with.

Jill couldn't have been angrier with Chris. Not only had he betrayed her, he'd betrayed Carlos as well. But she always thought Chris would have moved on anyway, she just didn't want to admit it. And with a baby along the way, it just made everything that little bit more complicated. She was scared Chris would think she was using the pregnancy as a way of trying to win him back. And after this, she was unsure if she would ever want him back anyway.

"...Carlos can I just be alone, please?" Her voice cracked as she spoke. Carlos felt terrible, he was so caught up in his own anger, he almost forgot how much the news would affect Jill.

Carlos gave her a sympathetic pat and headed to the front door. Upon opening it, he was faced with the one man he really didn't want to see.

"Carlos man, I'm so-"

Carlos cut off Chris mid sentence planting a hard punch across the older man's face. Surprisingly, the punch didn't make Carlos feel much better. He stepped over the fallen man, and went on his way without saying a word to him.

...

Chris was hit in the face again, this time by a flying bag of frozen peas. He picked up the bag and put it to his eye, which was undoubtedly going to turn black. Jill walked around to stand opposite him, who was sitting on the sofa.

"...Is it true?" She folded her arms and attempted to act confident. But no false anger or confidence could hide the tears that filled her blue eyes.

"I don't know. I can't remember, I was very drunk..." He wasn't even man enough to look at her. But he didn't need to see her to know the pain he had afflicted upon her. "God, Jill. You don't know how sorry I really am..."

"Being drunk doesn't change anything, Chris. You still gave yourself to another woman." She spoke bitterly towards him. It hurt him more than anything to know he was capable of turning her into such an angry woman. By nature she was generally level-headed and calm, but lately he seemed to be bringing out the worst in her.

Chris hung his head in shame.

...

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"Like what? What do you want me to say, Jill?" He brought his head up and locked eye contact with her. It was hard to tell if his eyes were red due to Carlos's punch or if the man of stone was crying. "That I love you. That I'm sorry...I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

Rarely did Chris Redfield pour his heart out, but anytime he did it was to the same woman. She was able to bring out his bottled emotions, and real feelings. He never cried, yet here before her, she could see trails of tears trickling along his cheeks.

"...Like you forgave me for kissing Carlos?" He let his head hang again. She was right, he was so hurt with just a kiss, and yet now he had done worse.

"We've both made mistakes Jill..." He whispered into his hands, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

"I didn't sleep with Carlos."

"And I don't know if I slept with her..." Jill just sighed at his words. "And even if I did, it would have been just sex. It didn't mean anything."

"...It's never just sex, is it?" He couldn't argue with her, he was in the wrong and he knew it.

...

"It just took some time, but I forgive you for kissing Carlos..." Chris said softly. He looked up to her, his eyes were pleading for forgiveness, and her heart was yearning for her to give in. His eyes and face glistened with his falling tears. "...I forgive you."

"Well that's great, Chris...But I don't forgive you."

Again sorry for the late update, the next one might be a little late too. Sorry! Also I was tired when I wrote this, so I hope it makes sense and ignore any blaringly obvious mistakes.

...Now let's not all go hating on Chris, okay? He's still my favourite, besides now he and Jill have broken up, maybe I have a shot! Haha, nah, It's just fun to add a little unnecessary drama between the two.

Artichoke,

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