Title: Harvest Moon

Series: Stargate Atlantis

Theme: Drama /Romance

Characters: Teyla & (Kanaan/John); Cast of SGA, SG-1

Rating/Warning: R/Sexual Situations/Language

Summary: It was comforting in a way, to be able to forget the pain of such devastating loss.

Links: http:/devinem27 dot livejournal dot com

A quick note: I just wanted to apologize to everyone for taking so long to update. (Add excuses here - LOL!) Luckily the holidays have given me a chance to catch up on things and I'll be posting a few chapters in the coming week. The big ten is coming and I hope you like it. Happy Holidays! D.

Chapter 8: Balancing Act

Teyla rose at five a.m. and enjoyed a few moments of quiet while she drank her morning tea. After a quick shower and dressing she thought of the day ahead and packed her satchel being sure to bring extra diapers, a change of clothes and snacks for Torren. Shortly thereafter she kissed her son good morning, bathed him and put him in fresh clothes. Doing a quick double check to ensure they had everything they needed, they began their journey to the dining hall.

With it still being early morning few people roamed the corridors so she allowed Torren to walk alone. He toddled along saying "hi" to everyone he met and frequently stopped to investigate anything that caught his attention. Teyla smiled as he stopped to study yet another discovery. He was such a curious child just like his father. She would be sure to tell Kanaa-… Teyla frowned as an ache began in her chest. Kanaan was gone. Her people were gone. It had been two weeks since the culling of Andor and other than the funeral for Kanaan and a memorial service for her people little had changed here in Atlantis. It was comforting in a way, to be able to forget the pain of such devastating loss, to imagine that her people were alive and well. But it could also be a curse, for in moments like these when the painful truth smacked her in the face the anguish she felt was as strong as ever.

For a while, Teyla had harbored some hope that it was all an elaborate ruse. That somehow, some unknown enemy had taken her people. Jinto, being separated from the village at the time of the culling, was unable to confirm exactly what had happened to their people. And given past experience, the possibility of a kidnapping was not too far-fetched, but all inquiries had come up empty and all clues confirmed the obvious. The culling of Andor had been just as random and as devastating as any other.

Teyla breathed deeply, mentally pushing the pain and false hopes aside and continued on her way. She picked up her pace when she noticed that Torren had wondered further down the hall. He had just toddled into the dining hall when he suddenly yelled.

"Da,da,da!"

Teyla blushed bright red. She was mortified. She tried to catch Torren but he took off across the room and launched himself into John's waiting arms. John tossed him in the air which made him squeal even louder and Ronon's laughter soon joined in. Teyla looked at them and shook her head. She went through the line getting food for herself and Torren and then joined the noisy group at their table.

"Good morning."

She greeted them as she sat down. Ronon nodded as he chewed his food and John said a quick 'hey' as he pried Torren's hands away from his coffee mug.

"No TJ that's hot."

Torren quickly lost interest in the mug when he spied John's toast. He grabbed a piece and took a big bite, then grinned widely. Teyla sighed and moved her plate of toast to the middle of the table. John returned Torren's smile.

"What are you two up to today?"

He asked watching as Torren inspected his piece of toast.

"About a month ago Lt. Downs asked me to give a class on self-defense to some of the female personnel. At the time I agreed my situation was different, but now…."

Teyla shrugged.

"She asked if I could still swing by and give a few pointers, but only if I felt up to it. I told her I would stop by, but couldn't promise much as I would have Torren with me. This afternoon we are going to visit with Halling and Jinto."

John sipped his coffee.

"How long is the class?"

Teyla sliced pieces of fruit and put them in her oatmeal.

"An hour, possibly two."

"At eight o'clock?"

She nodded, stirring her food.

"I could watch him for you. I'll be in my office all morning doing paperwork."

Teyla was tempted, but shook her head no.

"You have a city to keep secure and I know you have an exercise this afternoon that you need to prepare for. Thank you, but I'll manage."

"The city can take care of itself, literally, and we finished prepping for the exercise yesterday. He can keep me company while I work and you won't have to 'manage'. I can help."

Teyla stared at him knowingly.

"And if you're needed for something?"

"I'll take him."

Teyla turned to Ronon.

"If anything happened John would probably want or need your assistance."

John butted in before Ronon could reply.

"Look, if something that bad did happen all non-essential personnel would be rendered to quarters and the class would be cancelled. You would be free to take him. It's no problem."

John glanced down at the toddler in his lap.

"Isn't that right, Champ?"

Torren grinned, his mouth and teeth coated with crumbs and bits of toast.

"See."

Teyla shook her head at the three of them. This was getting out of hand. John, Ronon and even Rodney had made a point of checking in with her on a daily basis and offering assistance when they could. And while she appreciated the gestures, they were no longer necessary. Teyla could admit that the night of Jinto and Halling's arrival had been pretty bad. The shock of losing Kanaan and her people and the fear of losing Halling had all taken its toll. The uncontrollable tears, the inability to sleep and the nightmares when she passed out from exhaustion had been difficult, but she hadn't been alone. John had stayed with her that night and the following night and had gone with her to see Halling once he regained consciousness. She was fine now. The worst had passed and they could all go back to their normal routines, but no matter how much she protested they always brushed her concerns aside. She couldn't win.

"I will accept, but this is the last time. The three of you have work to do, other than catering to me and I refuse to be a burden. Deal?"

Teyla sighed at John's frown. He looked as if she'd said something offensive.

"No deal. You're our friend, not some 'burden'. We offer to help because we care. Now if you want to manage something, learn how to manage that."

She frowned not liking his tone, but before she could speak John stood, grabbing her satchel and slipped it on his arm.

"Say goodbye to Momma, JT."

He commanded and her son readily complied. John stole a banana from her tray and stood from the table, Torren in one arm and his tray in the other. As he walked away, Torren happily waived goodbye with what was left of his toast.

"He's right."

Ronon stood, gathering his things.

"We won't stop helping you, no matter how much you complain."

He grinned wolfishly at her disgruntled expression and sauntered away.

"They love you, Teyla and this is how they show their love. What is the harm in that?"

Halling sat on the sofa of his newly assigned quarters, while he and Teyla shared a pot of tea. Jinto had taken Torren on a walk through the city and would return at any moment.

"I don't want them to think that I am weak, that I need to be taken care of."

Halling smiled.

"Do you honestly believe that John would keep you as a member of his team and take you out on dangerous missions if he thought that you were weak?"

Teyla sighed; she knew that he was right.

"No. I know that they mean well, but I don't need-"

"But nothing."

Halling's tone grew firm. He sighed, saddened by the memory of what they had both lost.

"Teyla, things have changed and you must change with them. I am sorry, but you no longer have Kanaan to help you with Torren. It had been a concern of mine when he returned to our village and I am relieved to hear that you have good friends here who would offer you aid. Now that we are here, I will help you as much as I can and so will Jinto."

Teyla placed a comforting hand on his arm.

"You must focus on making a full recovery, not on helping me. Besides, I have an offer to present to you."

Halling stared at her, unable to hide his curiosity.

"With the loss of our people, as you have said, our situation has changed. Atlantis will return to Earth in less than a year. Have you thought at all as to your future or Jinto's?"

He nodded solemnly.

"This too has been a worry of mine. I do have a distant relative here in Pegasus, but am unsure as how to contact her. Truthfully, I am not even sure that she is alive. I do have friends who would be willing to take us in for a while, but I would not wish to be a burden."

Teyla nodded in understanding.

"Have you considered life here on Atlantis?"

"I have wondered, but was not sure if we would be welcomed. After the last time….."

He shrugged.

"Much has changed since then, Halling. They have a better understanding of the city and are now prepared to take on additional personnel. Should you choose to stay here you are free to do as you wish. You could stay as a civilian, awaiting transport to Earth or you can work for Stargate Command as an advisor on Pegasus cultures and languages or on a team as I do.

Halling's brow wrinkled.

"Where does this offer come from?"

Teyla smiled.

"From both John and Mr. Woolsey."

"And Jinto?"

"He will be eighteen years of age soon. In both our cultures he will be considered a man cable of making his own decisions. John hopes that if he goes to Earth he will be distracted enough to lose interest in fighting and possibly wish to continue his education. I must say having been there, I can see, quite easily, how that would be possible. But the choice is up to you and Jinto."

Teyla sat back, giving Halling a few moments to gather his thoughts. He had much to think on, especially when taking into consideration the welfare of his only child. She herself was in a similar situation, but for her the decision was an easy one to make. Teyla loved her people and would give anything for them to be safe and well, but she also realized that if not for her responsibility to her people she would have made this decision years ago. She could only hope that Halling would make the same choice, because she would hate to lose him too after all that had happened.