It's Time For Apologies

Title is from Apologies, by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. As always, thank you to all the reviewers. Claire, I hope the same thing, haha. Thanks lovey for the review! Alex, why thank you, I can die a happy woman now knowing I'm awesome. And the ending was more like the original I suppose, because they held hands. Thanks champ! And Jane, your reviews are so nice! I really appreciate them, and I'm glad you like the story, you're such a support. Thank you all! XD

The waiting made it feel like hours had passed. Neither spoke to each other, there was no point. They both felt the exact same worry. And although they spent weeks arguing and huffing, in the end none of it mattered. The two made a life together, and for both of them, that life would be valued higher than anything else.

Their hands remained twined together. It brought comfort to know they weren't alone in their fear. At least they had someone sitting right beside them.

Both of their heads snapped up when a doctor walked into the room. He gave a questioning look, when he saw the woman wasn't alone. But seeing as their hands were joined, he could guess who the man was.

"Miss Valentine, your results are back. And thankfully, you're okay. You're low in iron, but simple supplements can take care of that. The reason for your fainting is the lack in iron and, for a woman of your height, you are underweight as we suspected, especially considering you're pregnant...It's a vicious circle, Jill. You said you were stressed, the stress caused you to lose appetite and in turn the weight loss isn't making your light headedness any better. But these are simple things to overcome, that's the good news." The doctor spoke.

Neither Chris nor Jill raised a smile for the news. Of course Chris was ecstatic that she was okay, and nothing was dangerously wrong with her. It could have been a lot worse, both of them knew this. But before they could rejoice, they had to know the fate of their unborn child.

"And my baby?" Jill asked her voice shaking as she did so. Her tears had dried up for the meantime, but they threatened to pour once more.

"Being underweight and pregnant is dangerous, Jill, but we don't know. If you come with me to another room, we've been able to get a radiographer to take a scan and check everything is okay. You were meant to have a scan today anyway, so your midwife will be with you as well."

Chris and Jill were both gobsmacked that they had to wait longer. But the doctors couldn't give false hope. It was completely uncertain without a scan. Chris was a little hurt that Jill hadn't informed him of there ever being a scan, but they had both made mistakes, now wasn't the time for him to dwell upon it.

Jill stood, swiftly followed by Chris. The two hadn't talked, and he was unsure if she wanted him there for the scan. He got his answers, as she walked she kept a firm grip on his hand and led him close behind her.

...

After being informed as to what was going to happen and being comfortably sat down, Jill was ready for the Doppler scan to begin. Well in honesty, she wasn't ready. She was scared of the outcome. The midwife and radiographer reassured her, to comfort her. But the biggest comfort she got was from the man sitting next to her, still firmly holding her hand.

The radiographer placed the end of the Doppler unto Jill's well gelled abdomen, and began to glide it around. It was already placed onto Jill's chest, so she and Chris could hear her heartbeat so to know what the baby's would sound like. The room became silent, both parent's desperately listening for a sign of life.

"Now, just because we don't hear anything, doesn't mean the baby isn't okay. You're still very early on, and the heartbeat can be very faint." The midwife said, trying to calm the two.

The radiographer continued to trace the scanner along Jill's stomach in the hope to hear something. She paused slightly. And moved the Doppler back to the previous location, moving back and forth very slowly, until she found the point she was looking for. In the quiet room, the slightest of thuds could be heard, becoming slightly louder as the radiographer moved it just to the right position on Jill's abdomen.

Jill beamed a smile as she listened and then suddenly burst into sobs. The baby might not have been planned, but it was certainly a blessing. And the sound of the heartbeat was like sweet music to Jill's ears. Chris was just as pleased, a goofy grin was plastered over his face as he planted a couple of gentle kisses on Jill's hand.

...

After Jill recollected herself, she was prepared for an internal scan to take place. The radiographer had said it was most likely too early for an external ultrasound, and this instead was the best bet of seeing the child and seeing if there were any complications in the pregnancy so far.

"You ready mom?" Chris asked, still smiling brightly. She replied quickly with a nod, smiling just as strongly as he.

The scanner was moved until a reasonably clear image appeared on the screen. The midwife pointed to it, to show them the outline of the uterus and finally the little blob in the middle that was their child. It was tiny, barely recognisable. But they were both able to see the larger head with a small body attached.

Although she swore she wouldn't, more tears fell from Jill's eyes. Chris quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulder, tugging her tight into his chest. This was what he had missed with Anna, the scans to show the baby growing up, to show his baby growing up. It was only a minute foetus, yet already he loved the child unconditionally.

The silent room echoed with the annoying sound of a beep. A disorientated Claire sat upright sharply on the bed, looking for the source of the irritating sound. Her eyes were lead towards her laptop, perching dangerously on the edge of the bed. She had obviously dozed off and left it on. Though looking at the time, it was the middle of the night, no wonder she fell asleep. She saved the laptop from falling, and noticed a number of instant messages were sent to her.

She squinted to focus her eyes, enabling her to read the messages. She smiled at first, but as she read through them, her face darkened and fear bubbled within her.

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: Hey, Claire.

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: How're you feeling?

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: Have I ever told you how sexy you look in shorts.

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: Oh you're sleeping. Don't worry about me; I love to watch you sleep.

Claire began to feel vulnerable. She was unsure how the person was watching her, and more to the point, why he was watching her. She stood up cautiously and walked to the window, taking a peek to see if there was anything out of the ordinary. She saw nothing, so quickly pulled the blinds and curtains, completely blocking the window, preventing anybody from seeing outside or in.

Another ping sound left the computer, and Claire tried to calm her racing heart and took a seat on the bed, enabling her to read the new message.

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: Aw, why'd you have to go hide away? ;)

Knight-In-Shining-Armour: I'm still watching you pretty girl...

Claire frowned and slammed the laptop shut. She was beginning to get very freaked out, and undoubtedly scared. She thanked God she didn't share the house alone. Claire quickly got to her feet and slipped out of her bedroom and across the landing to get to Leon's bedroom.

She threw away her politeness and barged into the room without knocking, stirring the sleeping body from their slumber.

"Leon, wake up. I think there's someone outside or something..." She whispered her voice shaking as she did so.

"Don't be crazy, it's the middle of the night. Go to sleep Claire." He groggily replied, rolling on his side away from her.

"Please, Leon. Just take a look." She begged, pulling at his t shirt to attempt to keep him awake.

"Why..." His voice seemed to change as he spoke, and Claire's lips curved into a frown. As he turned over to face her, Claire's face suddenly became one of shock. His lips twitched into a sadistic smile, but the lips weren't those of Claire's best friend. Neither was the set of auburn hair on his head. The person before her was no longer Leon, but a very familiar forgotten seventeen year old boy...

Claire screamed and sat abruptly out of her dream. Her heart began to slow when two hands were placed carefully upon her shoulders. She slumped back onto the sofa, resting her head back on the man's lap.

"You okay, Claire?" Luke asked caringly, while patting the dampened auburn locks out of her eyes.

"Yeah, just a bad dream... What time is it?"

"About half six..." He replied, gaining comfort that her hands had stopped shaking.

"So how long was I out?" She asked, moving her head away from him, so she could watch whatever programme he had left on the television.

"Only forty-five minutes or so..."

"Gah, that long." She didn't think she had anything to do in the day anyway. Chris left his house abruptly earlier when she was looking after him. Claire just figured he was going to visit Anna or to have more Jill drama. Either way, she thought it was nothing, since she was yet to receive a message from him. Though she wasn't pleased he was leaving the house, she thought he was still being too adventurous too soon. But she knew the more she complained, the more resistant Chris would get. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"You seemed peaceful...Until you woke up screaming of course."

"Good answer."

...

"So you want to tell me about your dream?" Luke asked out of curiosity. It really had spooked her.

"No...You'll just think it's crazy." Claire replied, refusing to turn to face him.

"Claire, it's a dream. They're meant to be crazy." He said, a laugh escaping his lips.

"It's not the dream itself...More the reasoning behind it."

"Okay. Well, try me." Claire let out a sigh, and sat herself upright on the sofa, taking her weight off his legs.

"Luke, I told you about the strange emails...Well, I don't think Steve is dead." She turned her face from him as she spoke. She knew the idea was ridiculous; she didn't need to see his face of horror.

"Claire, you have to let this go..." He spoke soothingly so not to aggravate her.

He could tell something was getting to her the past week, but he couldn't understand her obsession with that man. And neither did she actually, she didn't understand herself why she was so attached to Steve. Maybe it was because she just wanted to be able to save someone for once. Chris saved her, Jill, Anna and even Luke. Yet Claire couldn't seem to save anyone, Sherry was a prime example of that.

"No, Luke, he's alive. He contacted me. He was with Alex, but he wasn't dead. And the reason it's taken so long is that the government and BSAA were trying to cover what had happened. He's had to pick up an alias and everything." She spoke fast to rattle out the information she had been given in a set of emails supposedly from him. Luke could tell when he looked into her piercing blue eyes, she believed every word she spoke, but he just couldn't. He worked for Alex. Chris and Jill worked for the BSAA, yet they knew nothing...It just didn't make sense.

"Claire, this doesn't add up... It's been over ten years."

"I knew you'd think I was being crazy." She fought back; her eyes glistened with tears out of confusion and frustration.

"I never said that... I don't want to see you get hurt. This sounds more like someone taking the mick out of you, you have to be careful." Luke was a level headed thinker, and his head was clouded over with hope like Claire's, he could see the whole idea seemed farfetched.

"But he knows too much... Like he knows private things, things only he would." Luke shook his head slightly; the situation was beginning to confuse him too. He didn't want to hurt Claire's feelings, but honestly he thought it was a load of bull.

"Have you replied to these emails?"

"No, not yet...You don't think I should, do you?" Claire asked because his opinion really did matter to her. So it was important for her to know how he felt.

"I can tell you want too. I just don't want you to get your hopes up, Claire. This whole thing seems...wrong." Claire let out a sigh and wiped the stray tear. It was the reply she was expected, just not the one she wanted. "But if you think this really is him, and think somehow he didn't die...Then there's no harm in replying. But I just don't see how after so many years it's him."

Claire nodded meekly. Her life seemed to be getting better, but this had come as one hell of a surprise, sure to shake things up. At least now, Luke understood what was preoccupying her, but he began to worry why she was so attached to Steve. Especially after so many years, he began to fear she was in love...just not with him.

Jill sat comfortably on the sofa in Rebecca's house, gazing at the photo of the tiny baby. It brought a smile to her face. She didn't realise how much she loved the child until there was the chance that she could have lost it. She felt so guilty. If she had have had a miscarriage, she would never have forgiven herself. She knew now she had to be more careful.

The baby wasn't the only thing getting her smiling; it looked like now Chris would be there for the child. Whether their relationship would recover was still up for debates, but now it was a good start, at least for them to be friends.

The front door was knocked, and Jill give another smile as Chris entered into the house.

"I figured, I eat too much...You don't eat enough. So I thought I would come around." He joked awkwardly. He wasn't too sure if she wanted to see him. At the hospital things were different, they were both scared. But now, he didn't know if she wanted to be alone again. However the smile on her face told him otherwise.

"What do you have there?" She asked to the item in his hands.

"Ice-cream. I remember when my mom was pregnant with Claire she had such a craving for ice-cream it was unbelievable." He laughed.

"Thanks Chris, please tell me it's..."

"Honeycomb? Of course, I know your favourite flavour Valentine." He said, placing the large tub on the coffee table. His actions were so sweet; she found it lovely to know he still knew what she liked. In fact because of his one sentence, she actually wanted to rip the clothes off him. That was the problem with the pregnancy hormones, she was horny one minute, upset the next. "Here, I'll get some spoons."

"No, let me do that, Chris. You need to rest too." Jill demanded, pushing him unto the sofa as she stood off it to go to the kitchen. His limping hadn't gone unnoticed by her, and she always did still worry about him.

"But you're pregnant, Jill!" He argued back.

"Yeah, and you got stabbed. Currently, I'm the more active one." She smirked, coming back to sit next to him with two spoons firmly in hand. "How are you feeling, Chris?"

"Seriously? You're the one who was in hospital." Chris protested, he didn't want to talk about himself, because to him, he felt it was not important. Jill gave him a glare, forcing him to answer. "I'm getting better, don't worry about me."

"But I do..." Her voice trailed as her eyes were attracted to the deep scaring left on his arms from the attack. He caught where she was looking and quickly brought the arms of his jacket down to hide them.

"I'm fine, Jill, honestly." She gave him an unconvinced nod, and lifted the ice cream, to begin her feast.

...

"It's nice to spend time with you again..."Jill said, pushing another large mouthful of ice cream past her lips. It seemed like a lifetime ago that they just spent a night together, without all the fighting and drama.

"I should apologise, Jill. For not being there, for being stubborn... And everything with Sophia. I never wanted this. I'm sorry that I pushed you away, and ruined us." He said. Jill could have sworn she heard his voice crack as he spoke.

"I forgive you, Chris. I did a long time ago. Come on, I've been just as bad. I don't know what I was thinking with Carlos, I guess... I wanted to make you jealous. It was stupid I know, and I'm so sorry." It was nice to voice her feelings to him again. It seemed like the first time in a while, that the two could be completely honest with each other. "I love you, I always have."

"And I love you too." She gave a smile at his words. He did mean his words, his love for her never faltered, his faith did, but not his love. Jill casted her eyes away from him, and towards the photo of the scan on the table.

"Are you scared?" Chris asked in relation to the pregnancy, snapping her out of her gaze with the photo.

"Yeah, I never wanted this, you know. I mean, I love my dad, but I hated growing up with just him...And I never wanted that for my child." Her voice broke as she spoke, never did she dream of being a single mother to her child. Not only did it worry her, it upset her.

"But I'm still going to be there for them. And for you, Jill. No matter what happens with us, I'll still be a part of that kid's life..."

"But It's not the same, is it?" She asked with tears in her eyes. She already knew the answer. She knew it wasn't the same. She wanted the child to grow into a loving relationship. Not a failed one.

"The feelings are still there, Jill, between us. It just takes a little time." He said, cupping the sides of her face to brush away her tears.

"I've missed you." She whispered almost inaudibly to him between the sobs. The words meant more to him than he would have ever thought.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear you say that?" Chris joked. He brought his face towards hers, Jill gently closed her eyes in response. He kept their faces close, with their noses just brushing against each other. Softly, he brought his lips to meet hers. And it seemed as soon as they had touched, they had separated again.

It left both of them wanting more, but they had to take it slow. At least now they knew this would be the beginning of their relationship again.

Okay, I didn't go into the details of the scan, because one: I've never been pregnant, don't plan to for a good couple of years at least either. And two: I'm not going to go into details of how to set up an internal scan, you sick perverts! Haha.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, still not my best, but it's there at least!

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