Tonight I Cry For the Love I've Never Found

Title is from When It Don't Come Easy, by Patty Griffin. I've altered the lyrics ever so slighty. Thank you reviewers! Jane, thank you. I'm glad you like Luke, he isn't a little cutie, ain't he? Hehe, as always thank you so much, you're always so kind. And BearyBeary...Yes, I like brownies too, thanks for that input. Bahaha. Thanks everyone!

Jill fluttered her eyes open, yawning as she did so. She stretched her tired limbs, and rolled onto her side, feeling for the form next to her. She sat upright and frowned after finding no body next to her and little heat left on the bed where he previously lay. She prayed he hadn't done a runner again like the last time the two were together. Thankfully she saw no note on the bedside table. As she stood her nose was tantalised with the smell of sausages wafting into her nostrils. She quickly made her way downstairs into the kitchen, following the source of the smell.

"Good morning." Chris said brightly as he stood over the stove. Jill couldn't help but blurt out a laugh at the fact he wore only his boxers and one of Rebecca's frilly pink aprons.

"Morning to you too... I thought you'd left." Jill slid herself up onto the workbench so she could perch on it. He left the cooking and walked to stand before her. Placing his hands to her hips, he lowered his head to place a gentle kiss on her stomach through the light fabric of her nightgown.

"I'm not going to leave you. And I'm not going to leave our son." Jill smiled at his words, wrapping her fingers into his dark locks and bringing his head up to plant a loving kiss on his lips.

"It smells good by the way..." Jill said, pulling away from him.

"Bacon, sausages, eggs...Can't beat it." He joked.

"You didn't have to go out and buy the stuff, Chris. I would have been fine with Cheerio's..."

"It was in the fridge, I didn't buy it."

"Oh...That isn't mine then. That must be Rebecca's stash." Jill said, chuckling.

"...Too late now. I'll promise to buy her more." Chris gave a lopsided grin, the grin that made him capable of getting away with anything. And the grin that she loved. It was one of the few traits of his that hadn't changed with everything they went through. She still remembered back in the STARS days when he would flash that grin after stealing her coffee. But with a smile like that, how could she punish him.

Chris's smile soon turned into a devilish one, whenever he broke eye contact with her. With Jill seated on the worktop, it made his eyes level with what he saw as her best physical assets. It was accentuated by the fact that her nightgown was fairly low cut, and he couldn't help but notice the pregnancy just made them that little bit bigger. Chris sunk his head and frowned whenever he smelt burning sausages.

"Why do you have to look so sexy at the worst of times?" Jill giggled at his agitation.

"Well...you know you could just leave the food..." Jill spoke low, in the seductive voice which sent shivers down his spine, while running a delicate finger slowly along his chest. Chris's face froze as he thought about his decision.

...

"...They're honey and mustard sausages, I'm sorry Jill." Jill could wait, the food couldn't. Plus he was always starving in the mornings. He quickly reached up to kiss her lightly on the cheek and went back to the cooker in an attempt to rescue the cremated food. Jill just giggled at him. She hoped off the bench, and took a seat at the table.

Chris took off the apron, and placed the breakfast on two plates for the both of them. As he walked towards the table, the door to the kitchen swung open, and Chris froze in shock.

Behind the door stood a petite brunette with a cropped bob. Her mouth opened as she gazed at a shirtless Chris. She couldn't help her wandering eye floating over his toned muscles. She brought her gaze back up to his eyes and immediately her face flushed with red as she noticed the knowing smirk across his face. She retracted her eye contact and quickly closed her mouth.

"It's nice to see you, Rebecca. Good morning." Chris said chirpily, setting the food down on the table. Rebecca mumbled something awkwardly. She was completely embarrassed. She had always had a slight crush on Chris, ever since the STARS days. Chris fully knew this. But it was never serious, they were just good friends. And back in STARS she was immature, and fell for the first young man who was nice to her. Obviously she had grown up now, and understood fully what real love was, but it was still hard to not be embarrassed among her first crush.

"There's enough food for you too. You should come and sit with us." Chris said, making his way back to dish up some food for the young woman.

"Thanks Chris." Rebecca greeted Jill and sat next to her at the table, they began to eat whenever Chris came back and sat opposite the two woman.

"So are you two...?"

"Yeah, I guess you're first to know. We're back together, like old times I hope." Jill said with a large smile plastered on her lips.

"Well that's great you two. Both of you really deserve to be happy." Rebecca always supported their relationship. She thought it was crazy that love could blossom from the hardships they had to live through. But it had. And both Chris and Jill were great friends to her since meeting at STARS. When Rebecca arrived Jill was the only female member, so immediately they hit it off and got along. And Chris took her under his wing; Rebecca became another little sister to him. Plus she was forever indebted to him after he helped save her in the Mansion Incident.

...

"But I'm going to miss you, Jill... It's been fun living together. I mean I am right in guessing you're going to move out?" Jill looked to Chris. They hadn't actually talked about it, but Jill would have loved to move back into their home. Besides, apart from her clothes and valuables, the majority of her things were still doted around Chris's house.

"I don't know...We haven't really thought about it..."

"I'd love you to move back in, Jill." Chris said, receiving a smile from his girlfriend. His moved his hand under the table to rest upon her leg.

"Oh!" Rebecca said shocked, as her cheeks flared up red again when she felt Chris's hand on her upper thigh. Chris immediately flicked his hand back and apologised, while Jill began to laugh at them.

"I'd love to move back in too." Jill said in between her laughs. The three continued to tuck into their breakfast.

...

"Is this my expensive bacon? It isn't for fry ups in the morning..." Rebecca said, poking at the thick cut bacon on her plate. She would admit it tasted good, but for the price of it, she was planning on keeping it to be used in a proper meal.

"Well, Chris..." Jill began to explain what had happened. But Chris quickly moved his foot to kick her in the leg to keep her quiet.

"What the hell was that for?" Once again he missed, and Rebecca squealed as his foot hit her. Chris's eyes popped, and for the second time he started apologising profusely to the younger woman.

"So how did you and Luke meet?" Steve asked the younger Redfield sitting opposite him. He was done talking about himself to Claire, so instead he wanted to know a little more about what she had been up too. Against Luke's wishes, Claire had gone to a cafe alone with Steve. She was getting pretty fed up with Luke's negativity towards Steve. She didn't feel she needed to be babied again. Contrary to how Chris and Luke acted towards her, she was a grown woman... But she just didn't realise they were trying to protect her.

"It was a strange circumstance...I actually went to him to find out about you. Then we got closer and just got on really well." Claire said.

"So you never forgot about me?"

"How could I? I was just so unsure; I needed to know what really happened to you." She replied. It was odd talking to him. He didn't seem to be the exact same boy she remembered, but she figured he wouldn't be anyway. Over time she had changed, so it would be understandable that he had too.

"Well you do now, right?" He flashed a smile, and placed a gentle hand over hers. A small blush appeared on her cheeks, as she couldn't read his actions. She couldn't tell if he was flirting, or merely being friendly. She knew he liked her before, but after so long, she didn't think he would still feel the same.

"...Maybe it's just because I'm protective over you, but I...I just don't think he's good enough for you." Claire was shocked at his words, taken aback by them. If anything, she saw herself as not good enough for Luke, never the other way round.

"Why...why would you say that?" She asked him. She wasn't sure if she was annoyed with Steve for saying it, or just confused as to why he would think it.

"I just...I don't want to come in between you two... But I just don't think he's genuine, you know? I don't think he's genuine in his feelings...I could be wrong, but he certainly doesn't act like he loves you..." Claire felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes. Immediately she blinked them away. Steve put doubt in her mind. She never stopped to notice if Luke seemed as in to her as she was to him. On top of that, he had never told her he loved her. They had been together for longer now, maybe Steve was right.

"I don't...I don't think that's true..." She mumbled back to him.

"Then why is he jealous of us? I can tell he is. If he can't understand how important us two reconnecting is to you, then how can he understand you at all?" Steve raised good points. Luke didn't support her fully in this, and was always wary.

"He's just trying to protect me..." Claire argued back.

"Well I hope you're right. I hope he's protecting you...Not controlling you."

Claire had heard enough. She didn't like to hear things like that, it did nothing but make her doubt herself.

"I should go, Steve. I'll see you again sometime." Claire hastily made her way out of the shop, as a couple of stray tears fell from her blue eyes.

"That's the last of it." Chris said, as he set the final box of Jill's clothes back into their house. He refused to let Jill lift a single item on the basis of being pregnant.

It felt good to be back in her home. It had taken her long enough.

"It's going to feel good sleeping in my bed again." Jill hummed, as she looked around their house, straightening the occasional picture frames. She couldn't help but notice her favourite picture of the two of them in STARS was no longer there. She remembered Chris had broken it, but he knew how much she loved it, She would have just thought he'd have fixed it by now.

"My bed? ...Don't you mean our bed?" He teased, as he began to lift her items upstairs into the bedroom.

"No, I meant my bed. You'll be on the sofa." Jill chuckled, following him upstairs.

"Jeez, do I not even get the spare room? I have to sleep on a sofa?"

"...I was thinking actually...The spare room will be nice for baby boy." Jill said seriously. Chris let out a laugh, as Jill began to unpack her stuff.

"Little bit early for that, I hadn't even thought about it. Nice idea, I guess..." Chris said unconvinced.

"You don't sound too pleased about it? I'm just excited; I've been doing a lot of planning." Jill exclaimed.

"Meh, you know me, just can't really be bothered thinking about it." Jill raised an eyebrow at him. He wasn't sounding quite like himself. She was surprised he didn't even think of their son, considering she had been enjoying every day just thinking about motherhood.

...

"Well, have you spoken to Claire lately?" Jill asked, changing the subject as she folded her clothes to put away.

"Yeah, she's still just reconnecting with Steve. It's strange for her you know." Jill smiled, at least he seemed back to normal a little now.

"I just hope she's careful, you know?" Jill worried for Claire just as much as the rest did.

"It's Steve."

"I know, but Alex is still out there and she just..."

"Jill, relax. Don't do this. Claire's happy and we have to be supportive of what she wants." He said.

"I know..."

"Here, that's everything. You might as well take these boxes and shove them in the spare room for the mean time." Chris said, handing them to Jill.

"I'm pregnant; I thought that meant I didn't have to lift anything..." Jill joked.

"Nice try. But they're empty. Now go."

Jill rolled her eyes jokily, and took the boxes out of their bedroom and across the landing to the smaller room.

She opened the door, and immediately dropped the boxes in shock. Chris merely laughed, and slung his arm over her shoulder, as she continued to stare in awe.

...

"This is...beautiful, Chris." The whole room was already decorated more beautifully than she could have imagined. Light blue walls, with the occasional cartoon drawing on them, and in the middle was situated a delicately carved white cot. "And you said I was being early? We still have nearly five months left!"

"I know. But I was thinking about our kid, and I've been excited too!...I just wanted it to be a bit of a surprise." Chris laughed.

"I can't believe you did this. It's so amazing." Jill walked around the room, to see the little things he had done. There were a couple of shelves put up, already with his old teddy bear sitting on it. And on the bedside table, Jill's favourite picture of herself and Chris sat, placed in a new silver frame.

"I didn't have anything better to do... And I love drawing and painting, so it became a little project I suppose."

"You are so cute..." Jill said, reaching on her tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek. She went back down and wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, resting her head on his chest. "I love you so much for doing all this.

Luke opened the door to the house. He was later than he thought he would be, held up at work. Since settling down in the house with Claire, he was able to get a job in a nearby hospital in the laboratories as a microbiologist, similar to the job he did back in Scotland.

He stepped into the kitchen to see Claire attempting to cook them dinner. She rarely did it, and when she did, it wasn't the best. But this time she had cookery book out, and she was reading it intently to try to give him a nice meal.

"How was work?" Claire asked.

"Okay thanks." He came over and planted a kiss on her head, "And how was your day? Did you do much?"

"I went to see Steve." Claire wasn't going to lie to him, but she knew he wouldn't be happy. Luke just sighed.

"Please be careful, Claire." Luke said gently.

"Why are you jealous? Don't you trust me?" Her voice began to break. All day she couldn't stop thinking of what Steve had said.

"I do trust you. I just don't want you to get hurt." He replied. He certainly wasn't in the mood to fight with her, and hadn't a clue why she was so on edge.

"Stop trying to control my life, okay?"

"What? ...I'm not trying to control you; I don't even know where you've got that idea from..." Luke was shocked. He didn't understand her mood swing. "Why do you do this, Claire? Why do you always try to push me away?"

She hung her head, as the tears fell, but refused to reply to him.

...

"Well...You've successfully pushed me away this time, congratulations." Luke turned on his heels to leave. He didn't want to fight, but he couldn't stay either otherwise he knew he would just get more agitated with her. Something he didn't want.

"No, Luke, please."Claire followed him and begged him not to leave. She caught up with him and tugged on his arm before he could get to the door.

Luke slung his head in defeat and turned to her. She immediately latched onto him, wrapping her arms tightly around him, and crying into his shoulder.

"Please stay." She begged in between her sobs. He wrapped his arms around her and comfortingly patted her hair. He couldn't understand her. But that's because she didn't understand herself or her own emotions.

She felt vulnerable around Luke, to the extent that she would rather push him away than have him do the same to her. But she couldn't take it if she did actually lose him. And Steve just complicated things. She couldn't tell if he was flirting or what, but if it was, then that would be dangerous for her. She knew it wouldn't be right to continue flirting with Steve, when her heart still lay with Luke.

But Claire would have to make a decision quickly and follow what she truly wanted. Because she knew neither men would wait forever for her.

Hoped you enjoyed, sorry for the little delay! I'm really shocked every time I upload this to the amount of reviews it gets. I just want to say how appreciative I am of the people who have read and reviewed the story. It's shocked me the reception it's received, I feel somewhat unworthy when there's so many other stories out there a million times better than this! But honestly, thanks to everyone...Oh! And to the people who have favourite etc! Just thought I'd say that...

x