A/N: Sorry the first chapter was so short. I have the next few written, but I think they're better read with some pause between them, so I'm not going to post them all at once. Thanks to the 3 people who reviewed!

Chapter Two

When he finally arrived at the office, Matsumoto was already there.

He hadn't expected that. He hadn't thought she would show up until afternoon, if at all, and he'd been counting on that time to figure out what to say.

She was sitting on the couch, staring at something in her lap. She looked pale, drawn. He couldn't see her eyes, but he could clearly see the dark circles underneath them and doubted she had slept at all the night before.

Was that a bruise on her wrist?

He had been a poor lover, obviously, and taken advantage of his position, but surely he hadn't forced her, hadn't hurt her? He couldn't have been that far gone.

Would she even admit it if he had? Had he used protection? Could he have left her with a child she didn't want and nothing but hatred for its father? These questions were getting him nowhere.

"Matsumoto, we need to talk."

She jumped but didn't look up at him. "Oh, Hitsugaya-taichou, I didn't see you there. If you don't mind, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now. Let's talk later, 'kay!"

Her overly bright tone and use of his name-title combination made him wince. She hadn't addressed him like that in over a decade. He was so caught up that he almost didn't notice she was doing paperwork.

"What the—" he cut himself off. "As happy as I am to see you actually working, this really can't wait. I have to leave for the World of the Living soon."

That got her attention. "What? Taichou, why? What's going on?"

"It's—"

"Is it because of last night?"

"No, but it is one of the things we need to discuss. But not here," he added, glancing at the door. Seated officers and other taichous were in and out of their office all the time; they needed somewhere more secluded. "The roof."

She nodded and he headed up, letting her take her time. He'd been vague on purpose to ensure that she wouldn't take too long.

He used the time he had to figure out what on earth to say. How did a proper taichou apologize for taking advantage of his fukutaichou, make sure she was okay, and express regret for being an inconsiderate lover?

A card probably wouldn't cut it. A proper taichou would never have gotten himself into this situation.

Too late. There was no helping it, he would just have to fumble his way through. He'd apologize, let her yell at him until she went hoarse, then offer to make it up to her in the manner of her choosing. He'd probably be paying off the credit card bill for the rest of his after life, but it would be worth it if they made it through this.

He turned as she appeared on the roof next to him, and he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

He'd seen his fukutaichou at her best and her worst: happy, sad, angry, hurt, frustrated, drunk, frightened, and determined. But he'd never seen that jaded look in her eyes before. Those eyes that stared everywhere but at him.

We're not going to make it through this, are we?

Desperate, he began. "Matsumoto. I'm sorry."

Her laugh was bitter. "Why? Don't be. I went with you willingly. I didn't say no."

The relief was immediate and overwhelming. "Thank God. I don't remember a whole lot about last night, to be honest, and I know just the fact that it was you means I took advantage of my position, but I couldn't stand it if, if—" He broke off, unable to say it out loud.

Her gaze jumped to his but skittered away just as quickly. "Fear not, Taichou. Your honor is safe."

It sure as hell is not!

"But I didn't do right by you. I was drunk and inconsiderate, and I hurt you."

She froze, then nodded toward the visible bruises on her arms. "What, this? You don't think something like this could slow me down, do you? Sometimes sex gets rough. It's no big deal. Geez, Taichou! I'm the girl, aren't I supposed to be the one who wants to talk about everything?"

"Don't make light of this, Matsumoto! I know that's not the way you really feel." He took a deep breath, reigning in his frustration. You're supposed to be begging her forgiveness, you ass. "Look, I know my conduct last night was inexcusable, unforgivable. If there's anything I can do to fix this, to make it up to you—"

"Thanks, but no thanks, Taichou. No offense, but the first time wasn't all that great for me. I don't think I'm up for a second round," she scoffed.

"Surely you don't think that's the best I can do—And that wasn't what I meant!" he snapped, coming to his senses.

She sighed. "Look, there's really nothing to talk about. You didn't force me, you didn't hurt me more than is normal, and I'll make sure that everyone who finds out knows you didn't take advantage of your position. You don't have to worry about me; I'll make sure you don't get into trouble."

"As if I care about that! And of course I'm going to worry. Did you even make me use protection? Could you be pregnant right now?"

He saw her shoulders stiffen and winced. Shit. "I'm sorry, that didn't come out the way I intended."

"I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and guess it didn't," she clipped out. "Let's just end that conversation with 'I'll let you know,' and move on to the one where you're going to the World of the Living. How soon can you go and how long can you stay?"

He nearly smiled, despite his despair. He knew her eyes were staring daggers at him. Or would have been, had she been looking at him at all. "You don't want to know why I'm going?"

"How. Soon. How. Long."

"Within the hour. A few months, probably three or four."

"Good. Maybe I'll feel up to talking again by the time you get b—three or four months!"

"Yes."

"B-but—" Worried eyes met his.

"Don't worry, Matsumoto," he said softly. "I won't stick you with the paperwork. I can do it from there if you send it to me, just make sure to leave me plenty of time to do it and don't forget to have someone pick it up again before it's due. You'll have to take over all of the training and run any smaller missions from here, but I have complete faith you can handle it. You know how to contact me if something goes wrong."

She nodded.

"This time will be good for us," he continued. "Some time to think."

To heal.

She didn't respond. With one final regretful look, he shunpoed away.