I am really sorry that this took so long, full time work for a whole week and just couldnt find the time to write, nor the inspiration.
It is shorter than the others but I promise it wont be that long before the next post and better :)

I do not own supernatural.

..
And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.
John 1:5
.

'I don't think that is a good idea.'
Castiel tried not to look at Micah, each time he did he got side-tracked, lost as his memories collided. They gradually fused together, forming one recollection but then even that was subject to change as his two halves argued; feeling or no feeling?
He did trust Osael, with his very life but then Micah didn't, so why should he?

He risked as glance at Micah, the fierce young woman that was fighting with Osael, who toward over Micah in an attempt to intimidate her. It didn't work and she was ready to get physical when Alex separated them like two boxers in a ring.

When Castiel had managed to stagger down stairs, at first he couldn't believe anything that happened to him, the doubt nibbling at his soul but it all changed when Osael said he would prove it to him. The wings were one and the other was the resurrection of Micah's cousin. He hardly said a word, just buried his nose in a book along with his scotch.

'How could that be worse? You're like sitting duck here.' Osael hissed and Micah just grabbed a handful of her hair, pulling it to her temple as she thought. The empty beer bottles were littering the desk and space around it; it was hard to believe she had managed to drink them all. Then again, she had to distract herself from him didn't she? He only wished he could tell her not to beat herself up about this.

Castiel remained still on the longue, his glass of water and row of tablets not touched beside him. He didn't have time to sit back and close his eyes for a bit, the world was so new to him once again. He had to sort through his memories and thoughts, to think of what was said and done compared to what was a dream. His blue eyes fell on Micah and the feeling that consumed him puzzled his sorting.
Was that a dream?

'We know this place like the back of our hands. Besides, it's like you said to me Osael, Cass can choose for himself.'
She turned away, leaving to get another beer as Osael folded his arms, waiting for Castiel to answer, but he wasn't focusing, he didn't even hear the question. When he didn't, Osael sighed heavily.
'Humans, I don't know how you can stand to be one.'
With a shrug Castiel compared what his time as an angel was like to what it was now; fearless, quick, unlimited… as a human they were almost constantly sick with emotions, slow and weak. But there was something better about this, something that made Castiel hesitate in his response to Osael about returning to being an angel.

In the kitchen, Castiel could see Alex hold his arms open after he took the beer from Micahs grasp, who at first glared at him before she fell into his waiting arms. Whether he was the cause or if it was the relief that her last surviving family member was restored he wasn't sure.

Castiel remembered holding Micah that way, hand tangled in the golden hair as he held her to him, a missing puzzle piece, warm and accepted. He looked at Osael, but felt nothing but loneliness.
As an angel, he didn't have a soul, couldn't feel these things… it was either a curse or a blessing.
Be an angel and beg to be a human or be a human and pray to be an angel.
No one was ever happy with what they had.

As Micah came back into the room, Castiel feared he had lost what he had been happy with.

'Right. We need to think of a plan and quick.'
She sat at the desk, pushing the bottles into the bin on the floor with a loud crash before she leant forward, watching both of the men. Alex was behind her, inspecting the sigils that Osael had painted on the wall in blood.

Castiel had to help Dean.
It was almost sad watching him in that room, like a rodent on a running wheel. He had no care for himself, only for Sam and Castiel could feel the guilt radiate from him as the other angels came to gaze upon the great Dean Winchester, like he was some sort of side show attraction.

He grabbed Dean when it was quiet, shoving him against the wall and hoping that he would realise that he was trying to help. Dean nodded and he continued on quickly, cutting his arm before he painted the elegant wall red with his blood, slamming his hand onto it to activate it, praying that what he was doing was the right thing, that his help would somehow be thanked one day.
That was all he ever wanted to do.
Help.

Castiel got to his feet, eyes still closed as he battled himself to make a decision, but one as an angel, or as a human?
In his quick few months as a human, as hunter Castiel he had learnt more, experienced more and felt more than he had in two thousand years as an angel.
He had no soul as an angel, no heaven…no place to belong anymore; that much he could remember.
What he did was unforgiveable. How could he go back and expect open arms? How could he go back and not be the cause of another war?
No, he was a poor example of an angel, an even crappier one as a human but at least here he knew he had a chance that arms would still be open to him, that he still had a place to belong.

'Cass?'
'Don't speak!' he voice was deep, Castiels voice was rough but Jimmy's voice was different. He looked at his hands, this wasn't even his body, his hair, his eyes his voice, it was all what Jimmy had given to him. He had to do him some sort of justice.
Slowly he looked at Micah, instantly regretting snapping at her.

'Right, let's go get your grace back Castiel.'
Osael stood but Castiel held out his hand to stop him, a deep no rumbling in his chest. Osael paused, taking a step back in confusion as he watched Castiel with sharp eyes.
'You can't seriously be staying here with these apes?'
His hand dropped and Castiel opened his eyes, focusing on Micah. He saw something that he had barely seen before… the fearful Micah.
She still cared for him even after all of this? He had seen her dive into a stormy sea after a man she didn't even know, slaughter vampires to save him and even sit through a chat with Osael and find out who he was and what he did but yet she was scared by the thought of him leaving to find his grace.

Flicking his gaze up to Osael, he felt no regret as he straightened his back, standing firm on his feet. Osael didn't know whether to laugh or cry and Castiel tried to hold onto the smirk.
'These aren't going to protect you for long!' he said, jabbing a thumb to the blood ring behind them. 'He knows where and who you are and he is strong, Cass… you won't stand a chance without your powers.'
'I think we can take that chance.' Castiel growled back, his voice still deep and rough. Osael didn't even try to hide his disagreement, eyes burning with rage as they fell on Micah. He made a move towards her, Castiel stepping in to block him as he narrowed his eyes.

'You think you can survive this?' he hissed into Castiels ear, Castiel staring straight ahead at the wall.
'Don't waste your time trying to save her. In the end they're all dead.'
'Not if I can help it.'
He glared at Osael, the old authority he had heavy in his voice and command in his eyes. Osael recognised it, vanishing in a blink of an eye.

'Right, no time to waste then.'
Alex marched up the stairs after giving Micah an awkward glance. With a small nod of her head she got to her feet, ready to move past Castiel but he gently gripped her wrist.
'Micah…'
'Would you really, Castiel?'
He tried not to show his stupidity but Castiel raised an eyebrow, the shirt he was wearing suddenly itchy,
'Your grace, you won't go and get your grace because of me?'
'Who said it was because of you?' he snapped back, Micah slightly taken aback. She tried to rip her hand from his but Castiel squeezed it, wanting her to stay.

'I'm sorry, I didn't…' he cleared his throat, relaxing his eyes as he tried to clear his thoughts. Everything he had done, everything he had said that he now remembered, it was almost another person entirely.

Opening his eyes to Micah, he smiled weakly as she retreated back from him, frowning slightly.
'Micah I would rip my wings out all over again for you.'
His voice was softer now, no longer the commander but the fellow hunter, the friend, the lover.
'I may have changed and you may have changed your mind now that you know the truth, but you also have to know that my feelings for you have not.'

Micah went to speak, opening her mouth as her frown deepened. Castiel shook his head, stepping closer to her until her back was to the wall. Her eyes darkened and Castiel feared for a moment that the fierce Micah would end up hurting him before he got everything off his chest.

He just wanted to say sorry for everything he had done and for all the bad that was to come but also say thank you for showing him new things, for being the reason why he hadn't curled up and given up.

'I don't need grace, Micah when I have you.'
Micah sighed heavily, trying to leave but Castiel tightened his grasp, moving in closer. She turned her head, pretending not to listen to him but if he knew that if she felt threatened or wanted to get free she would have already hurt him and left.
Some part of her still trusted him.
He just hoped that he could keep that trust unlike his previous friendships.

'I need you to teach me what it means to live, I need you in my new life, Micah.'
'My life was black and white until I met you,' she mumbled, angry but Castiel didn't feel the sting of hate in her words, eyes still not meeting his, 'now there is a whole rainbow between that I need to learn.'
Green eyes looked up to his now, searching. It was as if she was waiting for Castiel to leave, to sigh and surrender.

He just slipped his hand from her wrist to her hand, squeezing tightly and silently begged that she would hold it back. She didn't say anything, but Castiel could feel it as she squeezed his hand, eyes bright with fear.
Slowly, Castiel leant in, kissing her cold lips until the frightened Micah was gone.

Together they would learn.
Castiel knew that his world was ultimately her world and he would do anything to make sure she was safe but there was a limit, he knew that but if it meant saving Micah and being able to help others more, it couldn't really be a bad thing?
Castiel would do whatever he could to ensure that their destinies remained the same… together.

And we shall soon find out what is really destined for these two.
I hope I can make it up to you all for the late post and the uneventfulness of it haha

Silver-Kirin
xXx