Disclaimer- I own absolutely nothing, yeah, I know … sad day. Please do nothing that these characters do. Well, nothing extreme. I guess you could do the breathing part. But only do it sparingly.
IMPORTANT Author's NOTE – Turns out, TDWT came out much faster than I anticipated, so after much deliberation, I have decided to change this into a season 4 fic. I have gone back and changed things to where they include Sierra and Alejandro's absence (they are joining the competition in the next chapter.) I'm pretty sure that's it, Ezekiel's turn as Gollum will be addressed in a later chapter.
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The Golden Oldies – Izzy
Izzy stood at the top of the thousand-foot-high-cliff, reminiscent of the first challenge last season. The red-head prepared herself with a perfect beginning diving pose. She leapt off the cliff.
Izzy plummeted towards the thrashing waters. Halfway down the cliff, Izzy passed by the flag, missing it by just a few inches. The redhead continued to fall until she landed in the water with a dive that deserved to be in the Olympics.
Izzy popped her head out of the water, smiling her normal smile. She looked up at the thousand-foot-high-cliff questionably. "Now how am I supposed to get that flag?"
The N00bz – Rocki & CJ
The two teens were in the same, awkward pose, Rocki straddling CJ's back.
"Do you think Vanessa and Ethan are doing better than we are?" Rocki asked.
"For the third time, I don't know." CJ snapped. "They probably had something to do with those goose screeches we heard."
"Oh, that must have sucked."
Suddenly, the bush in front of the two started to rustle. They held their breath in anticipation.
"What is it?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's one of those mutant beavers coming to rip the flesh off our bones, or a rabid bear coming to brake our bones to dust, or a sadistic reality show host coming to force us to sing about our awkward predicament, or maybe it's a squirrel coming to throw nuts at us."
"Wait, why would a bear grind your bones to dust?"
"Really?" CJ asked, "Out of that whole list, that's the one you question."
"Would you two shut up!" A voice from the bush snapped. Chris stepped from out of the shadows, rubbing his temples in frustration.
"What do you want, Kira?" CJ muttered.
"Um, it's Chris," the host corrected.
"I know, Kira."
"Whatever nerd boy," the host spat. "I just came here to tell you losers that you can move."
"No we can't," Rocki pointed out. "Duncan tagged both of us."
"True, but Duncan made the mistake of not tagging you two at the same time. Because an unfrozen CJ was touching Rocki when she was tagged, she was unfrozen, and since Rocki was touching CJ when he was tagged, he was unfrozen."
"I guess that makes sense, but why is he talking to us in third person."
"Of course it makes sense," CJ sighed, "now would you please get off of me!" Rocki quickly pulled herself off of the otaku. CJ awkwardly got up off the ground, his back popping many, many times.
"That didn't sound very good," Chris pointed out.
"Whatever, can we go now?"
"Sure, it's not like I'm going to stop you."
Confession Cam
Chris - Sure, I could have pulled a jerk ass move and unfroze the entire N00bz team to make sure I won the bet, but I'm only aloud TWO jerk ass moves this season, and there is no way I am going to waste one of them on the first challenge.
*static*
CJ - (He arches his back, and we here something snap) OW!
The Golden Oldies – Izzy
Izzy was still trying to think up a way to get the dangerously placed flag. She had thought of training a falcon to retrieve it for her, but decided she didn't have enough coconuts for that. She considered using Owen as a trampoline to get to the flag, but since there was a lack of ex-boyfriend, that plan wasn't able to happen. Then the perfect plan popped itself in the little red-heads head.
"I'm not sure I like the look in her eyes," Lyle mumbled.
Izzy darted into the woods. She was gone for a good seven and a half minutes before she came tumbling out, yards upon yards of vines in her arms.
"Where d-did she g-get vines in the f-forest?" Harvard asked.
Izzy dropped the vines on the white sandy beach. She set to work, her hands working the vines with the precision only somebody who knew what they were doing could possibly have (or somebody that was good at improvising, with Izzy you never know.)
Izzy stepped back to look at her handiwork. She had made a sturdy rope. It was so sturdy, to test it, she bit it and it barely left a mark.
Izzy sprinted over to all of the frozen teens on the opposing team. She first reached Vince. She began to tie her makeshift rope around the raven-haired boy's waist.
"Whoa there little miss psycho, you have to take me to dinner before I even consider that?" The male fashionista asked.
"W-why are you t-tying us all t-together?" Harvard asked.
"I'm going to climb the cliff and I need a belay team, and you people are the only ones around that I can tie up." Izzy laughed as she pulled the knot tight.
"To … tight. No … circulation," Vince gasped.
"But Chris said not to move," Kayla reminded the redhead.
"True, but if I force you guys to move, he can't really do anything about it can he?"
Izzy continued to tie the small defense group together. Kayla was after Vince, then Lyle, then Harvard, and finally Phillip.
"Alright! Let's go for it!" Izzy exclaimed as she took off towards the cliff. Phillip tried to slow her down by clawing at the ground, but he was no match for a determined Izzy.
The N00bz – Vanessa, Ethan, and Grace
Grace stood behind the bush, out of view of her two teammates. She had gotten all the information she needed, and decided that now was the best time to announce her presence.
"You know," she shouted, interrupting Vanessa's long speech, "If you want to keep something a secret, you really shouldn't scream it for the entire island to hear."
Vanessa went rigid, the one advantage she had in the game was just thrown completely out the window. She tried to turn to face the hidden commentator.
"Don't do it," Ethan scolded, "I don't want to lose this challenge just because some chick squashed your pride!"
"Fine…" Vanessa huffed. The teen took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Are you going to tell everybody?"
"Of course not," Grace chortled. "That is, if you do something for me."
"Let me guess, vote for whoever you say?"
"Oh," Grace chuckled, "so you aren't as stupid as your actions say you are."
"Would you just shut up you stupid little *censored*"
"Hey," Ethan scolded, "We have enough foul language from that Diana girl, no need for you to swear too."
"So, do we have a deal," Grace said slyly.
Vanessa clenched her fists tightly and took a deep breath. "Fine," she huffed, rolling her eyes.
"Good"
Confession Cam
Grace - I am going to rule this game. Everything I do has been meticulously planned. Heck, this catholic school-girl outfit guarantees that I'm going to make it to the top twenty on teen boy hormones alone. The fact that I already have two little slaves just makes this all the more simple.
*static*
Vanessa - Oh, that girl is so going to learn not to mess with me.
The N00bz – Amanda
Amanda stood in the small clearing, murmuring small, clichéd jokes to herself. "To get to the other side," she muttered, giggling to herself at the pathetic little joke.
A brief chuckle erupted from behind the blonde. "That's funny, eh," Ezekiel said as he walked around the girl. The Prairie boy turned to face the girl. "I never woould have thought of that, it's so simple, eh."
"Glad you liked it," Amanda beamed. Once Ezekiel was able to get a better look at the boy, she wasn't beaming anymore.
"Say, aren't you the sexist one?"
"Well, yeah but I didn't knoow what I was saying, eh," Ezekiel said, scratching his neck nervously.
Amanda looked at him suspiciously. "I guess I understand," she shrugged, "I've made plenty of racist, sexist, homophobic, dead baby, and kitten jokes in my life. I guess I can understand where you're coming from."
"Cool," Ezekiel smiled. The Prairie boy was finally having a conversation with a girl, and it wasn't his mother, and she wasn't offended.
"You wanna hear some more jokes?" Amanda asked.
"Sure!"
The two teens stood there for a good fifteen minutes. Amanda told jokes, some decent, others were morally compromising, and some didn't even make since. Ezekiel chuckled his throaty laugh at every joke, even the ones he only partially understood.
Confession Cam
Ezekiel - It was really cool to talk to Amanda, eh. After the first season, I learned that I was kind of wrong to say those things about girls. If only I could convince all the girls here to believe that. Now I just hope nobody brings up the…volcano.
DJ and Heather were strolling through the woods together. DJ was saying how he tried to keep away from all the animals, because he didn't think his curse had worn off.
Heather gritted her teeth. She had decided to work with the giant to see if she could form an ally, but was slowly beginning to despise her decision.
The two entered the clearing to see Ezekiel laughing at one of Amanda's lamer jokes.
Heather was enraged. "What are you doing, you stupid boy!" She snapped. "You should be moving through the woods, protecting our flag, not having a night at the comedy club!"
"Heather," DJ muttered as he put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Maybe you should try to calm down."
"Oh go slaughter a baby seal again," the queen bee hissed. The gentle giant hurtfully withdrew his hand. He whimpered pitifully as he escaped into the woods.
"That was really crool, eh," Ezekiel chastised, getting a death glare from Heather.
"Shut it, Zeke. You are definitely at the top of my list."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Let's just say somebody is going to be the first one to go, again, if I have anything to say about it." With that, she stormed off in the opposite direction of DJ.
"Wow, and I thought my aunt Chuck was bitter when Uncle Freddy ran over her foot," Amanda joked. She turned to see if Ezekiel laughed at her (what she thought was funny) family story. Instead, he looked as if he was deep in thought.
"I think Heather's right, eh," he mused, "I shood probably go look for the others, can't let my team down. See you later Amanda!" The home-schooled outcast gave a parting smile to the blonde, then walked in a third direction, away from both Heather and DJ.
"Wait," Amanda shrieked, "I have loads of other jokes. I can tell you this one about what happens when a school teacher and a lettuce have a baby together!" No response came from the deep shadows of the forest. Amanda looked incredibly panicked.
Confession Cam
DJ – Don't tell anybody, but I still hate how I hurt all those animals last season. I think I might still have that curse! Maybe I shouldn't have brought bunny with me.
*static*
Heather – I understand what Courtney feels like. She wants Gwen gone because she took what she loved. I want Ezekiel gone because he took what I love. Guess which one is going to succeed first.
*static*
Amanda - (she's twitching uncontrollably) The silence in the woods was getting to me, I was resorting to chicken jokes! If Ezekiel hadn't shown up, I probably would have gone bonkers. Maybe running into the woods away from everybody wasn't a good idea. At least on the beach I could have talked to the other peoples.
The N00bz – Rocki & CJ
"No, we are not going to try it again," CJ moaned for the umpteenth time. He and Rocki had been walking for quite a while. In their search, they had scoured the beaches, infiltrated the safety of a squirrels nest, and climbed the horrors of skull cave. They'd even found Tyler relieving himself, causing the jock to be in a very awkward position when CJ tagged him.
"But I won't mess it up this time," Rocki pleaded, her wide-eyes pleading with the otaku.
"No," CJ snapped, "my back feels like I had the full force of Cero thrust upon it."
"Aww, why don't you try being the one in the trees?"
"Let's just say watching anime doesn't give you the best coordination," the nerd shuddered.
"Oh," Rocki muttered. The two awkwardly walked down the trail. It was so awkward, a turtle on the side of the trail could feel the awkwardness, and proceeded to do the awkward turtle.
"Where exactly are we going anyway?" Rocki asked as she kicked pebble.
"Wherever would be a good place to hide the flag," CJ muttered. "With Noah as their leader, only somebody as brilliant as Hayao Miyazaki would know where to look."
"What about in there?" Rocki asked, pointing at the large beaver cave in front of them. She kicked the smooth pebble again.
"That could work," CJ shrugged, "and don't think I'm saying you're as brilliant as Miyazaki."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
"Now we just need to make sure there is nothing in there that's going to eat our faces off," the otaku bent down to pick up Rocki's pebble. To bad she was going to kick the pebble at the same moment. Shoe met hand in a very painful collision.
CJ reeled in pain. He clutched his conformed hand. "What was that for?"
"Sorry, I didn't know you were going to get it," Rocki said. She hurried over to inspect the boy's mangled hand.
"Don't touch it," CJ whined, whipping his hand away. "Just throw the pebble into the cave and see if anything comes out. "
Rocki nodded. She picked up her small pebble and chucked it at the cave entrance, only to have it fall a few feet short. "What do I do now?"
"Since you fail at throwing," CJ muttered, "Go get the rock and try again."
"Why don't I just go look in the cave?"
"That could work to."
Rocki tried to creep up to the cave by using her super-ultra ninja moves, the ninja moves of failure. She ended up stepping on every stick and crunchy leaf on the way to the cave.
She ducked behind a rather large boulder that was at the entrance. She took a deep breath and peeked at what lay in the cave. She saw beavers, almost a dozen of them, and they were wooly. One was even wrapped around the pole of the orange flag of the opposing team. (P.S. Not that kind of beaver you sick nasties)
Rocki gave a light whimper, picked up her pebble, and dashed back to her crippled teammate.
"What was it?" CJ asked, worried about the look in her eyes. "Was it a bear? A snake? Oh my Studio Ghibli, you saw Kira write your name in the death note!"
Rocki shook her head. "Let's just say that the wooly beavers from the first season weren't all special effects like I thought."
"Oh, that's not good. Was the flag in there?"
"Yep"
"Well … go get it," CJ said as he pushed Rocki towards the cave with his good hand.
"No way," Rocki retorted, "I already went, it's your turn."
CJ glared at his partner. "Rock, paper, scissors to decide who goes?"
"Bring it, if there's one thing I rule at, it's rock, paper, scissors." Rocki said, giving CJ the universal 'bring it' hand gesture.
The two teens struck a combat pose. They chanted, "Rock, paper, scissors shoot!" Rocki's hand went flat, signifying that she chose paper. CJ accidentally used his damaged hand, causing it to form nothing recognizable.
"Yes," Rocki shouted, "I won!"
"How?"
"If paper can beat rock, it can definitely beat mangled hand," Rocki gloated. CJ stared blankly at the girl.
Confession Cam
CJ – How exactly are you supposed to argue with that logic?
*static*
Rocki – I sure lucked out there. I didn't really think he would fall for that.
CJ stood at the mouth of the cave, trembling at the sight of the beavers.
"Come on, CJ," Rocki urged from her position behind the boulder, "just run in there and grab the flag. They're all asleep."
"So why don't you go get it?" The otaku retorted.
"Because all I'd end up doing is trip, wake them up, then we both become a nice little side note in Chris's introduction in the next episode."
"That's a pleasant way to say we both die."
"True, now stop changing the subject and go get the flag."
CJ grimaced at the idea of entering the cave of certain doom. "I'm going to die," he whispered as he took the first step into the cave, "I'm going to die a death worse than any one of Sakura Kusakabe's on Dokuro-chan."
"You're death won't be that bad."
"You watch Dokuro-chan?"
"No, I'm being supportive, Now hurry up, we're on a time limit."
CJ, knowing what Rocki said was true, tip-toed quickly through the cave. He made sure to never step near the large mammals.
He eventually reached the flag, which was getting a little friendly with a rather large beaver. "How am I supposed to get it?" CJ whispered to himself.
"Try switching it with something, like in Indiana Jones!" Rocki whispered from the cave entrance.
CJ was unable to hear what she said. "What?" he hissed.
"I said try switching it like in Indiana Jones!" she shouted. Realizing what she had done, Rocki clapped her hands over her mouth, but it was too late. The beavers (who are notoriously light sleepers) woke up, each and every one of them.
CJ gasped and took up a defensive position to defend his prized possessions. (His eyes, he can't watch anime without them.) "What now?" he asked.
"Grab the flag while they're all groggy and run!"
CJ gave a quick whine before he sprinted to the beaver holding the flag. He grabbed the flag and yanked on it, and he yanked hard. The beaver holding the flag was reluctant to let go of the flag. The boy and the mammal began to play tug-o-war, man vs. beast, nerd vs. slightly cooler being. Eventually, CJ realized that all of the beavers in the cave were losing their grogginess. CJ thought light on his feet, and did the only thing he could think of, the geek slapped the beast.
The beaver, distracted by the light sting on his cheek, momentarily let go of the flag. CJ took this time to steal the flag away from the monstrous mammal. He darted out of the cave like he was missing a new episode of, well, any anime.
Rocki chased after him as he headed into the swamp.
The (now flagless) beaver glared at the retreating adolescents. He let out a menacing war-cry and led a stampede of his fellow beavers to get his flag back.
Confession Cam
Rocki - It's weird, being chased by a herd of prehistoric beavers and a mob of angry soccer moms feels oddly similar.
*static*
Chris - (he chuckles) See, I told chef paying for those beavers weren't a waist of money.
*static*
CJ - Why was that beaver so protective of that flag?
*static*
Chris – (he laughs as he holds up the flag) For those of you who don't know, this flag is on the pole Bridgette made out with back in the Yukon, Then Beth had a little fling with it, and now it apparently has a thing for wooly beavers. (he gives one last chuckle, places the pole against the wall of the outhouse, and exits)
*static*
Beth - (she glances at the flag and nervously scratches the back of her neck) So … how've you been?
*static*
Geoff – (he's lecturing the flag) And you better stay away from my Bridgette!
*static*
Anna - (she opens the door and stares blankly at the flag) POLE - SKANK! (She grabs the flag and tosses it out of the stall)
People on Wawanakwa island
Phillip let out an ear piercing scream and closed his eyes. He was at the bottom of a long line of rock climbers. Well, if you looked at the situation, you'd actually consider them rock-danglers.
Izzy was half-way up to the flag, followed by Vince, Kayla, Lyle, Harvard, and Phillip (in that order). All of the Noobz were doing as Chris (who had come by to remind them) had said, not moving from the position that they had been tagged in, thus they were dangling 250 feet above the ground. Since nobody was helping Izzy hold the weight, she was having to pull through a serious amount of strain.
"You guys should really try hitting an elliptical sometime," the crazy-redhead grunted as she lifted the party up to a new ledge.
"W-well, if you had-dn't t-tied us up a-and d-d-dragged us up here, y-you w-wouldn't have to p-pull all of us up the s-side of a c-cliff!" Harvard pointed out.
"True, but then I wouldn't have this nice belay team."
Kayla, still tearing up from her terrible break-up, was crying even harder from her fear of heights. Lyle, who was right below her, was sopping wet and in desperate need of an umbrella.
"Kayla," the midget pleaded, "could you stop crying, your getting your break-up tears all over me." The boy began to spit, as if he had swallowed something poisonous. "EW! Some of it got in my mouth. It tastes like sorrow and crushed dreams."
"You can *sniff* tell all that *sob* from my tears?" Kayla whimpered.
Lyle was going to give a relatively witty remark but was cut off by another scream from Phillip, who had just opened his eyes.
"Dude," Vince shouted, "if you just keep your eyes shut, you won't have to keep looking at the ground."
"But then my Myctophobia starts to act up!" Phillip shouted.
"Well, scream in silence, please. I'm getting a headache."
"Scream in silence?" Izzy questioned. "I'm crazy and even I know that's impossible … on second thought, I'm going to try it."
"You do that," Vince murmured. Izzy did so, or she didn't, we don't really know.
The party continued up the side of the cliff in silence (minus Phillips screams, Kayla's sobs, and the sounds of nature.) When Izzy was a good fifty feet away from the flag, one of the island's native pink birds (only in Canada) landed on the rope between Harvard and Lyle.
"sh-shoo lit-ttle b-birdie," Harvard stuttered. "Go f-fly somew-where else."
The bird began to nibble on the rope.
Confession Cam
Harvard – W-what k-kind of bird j-just randomly ch-chews on a r-r-rope?
*static*
Chef – (he's holding the pink bird and gives it a treat) Who's a good birdie? Yes, you are. (He looks at the camera) What? I get a bonus for every amusing injury I'm responsible for, and daddy needs a new pair of slippers.
"Guys," Lyle shouted, "we have a slight problem down here!"
"What kind of slight problem?" Izzy grunted, "The kind that can be fixed with duct tape or the kind that can be fixed with Tylenol?"
"Neither"
"Wow, you guys are screwed."
The bird continued to nibble on the rope. Harvard kept trying to shoo it away, which looked odd because of his inability to move.
"What are you doing up there?" Phillip, who was still staring at the ground, asked.
"Harvard took a breath. "W-well, th-there's a…"
"Shhhhhh," Lyle interrupted. "We don't want him to start panicking."
"R-right," the musician mumbled.
"What exactly is it that would make me start to panic?" Phillip said, his breath starting to panic.
"n-nothing," Harvard lied.
The rope was down to it's last few strands. Izzy gave one last lurch and grabbed the flag. "Yes!" The redhead shouted. In her celebration, she accidently let go of the cliff side. The party of teenagers began to fall to the ground.
Harvard whimpered. Phillip screamed. Kayla cried. Lyle prayed to every known God, spirit, and Oprah for his survival. Vince managed to slip his vest off without moving (which took talent) and flung it away from the falling people.
Phillip hit the ground with a thud, though miraculously didn't break any bones. Unfortunately for the teenage boy, the others all landed on him.
Izzy landed triumphantly on top of her competitors, who groaned (or sobbed) in pain. The red-head raised her flag and let out a well known Cherokee war-cry.
Confession Cam
Phillip – (again, he's sitting on a pile of disinfectant wipes) and people wonder why I have all these fears! My dad said (he lowers his voice) When are you ever going to be plummeting to the ground from 150 feet in the air due to faulty climbing equipment? What a stupid fear. (he speaks in his regular voice) Not so stupid now, is it dad?
*static*
Vince – (he's inspecting his vest) aha! Not a stitch out of place.
*static*
Lyle – (He looks up at the sky) Oprah, you pulled through again.
*static*
Izzy – Izzy got the flag, and Izzy has all my opponents to think. Yay for enemies!
People on the beach of Boney Island
Bridgette hurried to unfreeze all of her teammates. Courtney first, then she moved on to Harold. She was inches away from tagging him when LeShawna burst out in rage.
"Don't even think about touching my man!" the large sister exclaimed from her position twenty yards down the beach.
"well what do you want me to do?" Bridgette returned, exasperated by LeShawna's rage.
"I want you to come and unfreeze me so I can-"
"no," Fran interrupted just a few feet from the surfer, "ignore her. Just touch him, just once. For me...er...him...er somebody, just do it, please?"
Bridgette looked questionably between a begging Fran, angered LeShawna, and a slightly wierded out Harold. She then reached a conclusion that she knew was right: she walked over and unfroze LeShawna first.
"Thanks girl," LeShawna sighed.
Confession Cam
LeShawna - Okay, so maybe I was a little harsh on Bridgette. It's just that I haven't seen Harold since last season and the first time I see him he's macking with another girl! That's not right.
*static*
Bridgette - I like to think that I made the right decision. LeShawna's one of my friends, why would I want to ruin that? That Fran girl is a bit unsettling.
*static*
Fran - These people think their happy with their boyfriends and girlfriends, but apparently I'm the only one who knows who truly belongs with who. That's the main reason I'm here, I'm going to make sure that everybody gets it right this time, especially the person who belongs with me.
Minutes later, the entirety of the Golden Oldies on the beach were unfrozen. The teens were milling around the beach, unsure of what there was to do.
Beth suggested they stand there and watch Justin. The model made no objection.
Lindsay suggested they look for the flag. Harold tried to explain to the blonde that their job was to protect the flag, not look for it. Lindsay jut didn't understand, so the nerd gave up.
Courtney tried to control her comrades and get them to complete a worthwhile task. Her teammates completely ignored her.
Out of nowhere, Chris appeared quite a ways out in the water, riding a new water ski. He unsnapped a megaphone from the side of the water ski and unhooked it. The handsome host held the piece of technology up to his mouth.
LeShawna beat the host to speaking. "Oh no, Don't even think about making us sing, again! We had enough of that crap last season."
"Relax LeShawna," Chris said over the megaphone, "There's not going to be that much singing this season. Maybe a song here or there, but that's it. I'm here just to drop a little reminder to all the N00bz on the island."
"Oh, I'm listening with baited breath," Sabrina sighed.
"I just want to make sure that you all know that you can't move. Even if, say, a stampede of epic proportions, so don't move unless you get untagged." The host made a one-eighty on his water and made his way back to Wawanakwa.
"Am I the only one that is at least a little disturbed by the fact that he bothered to come and remind us of that?" Anna asked.
"Nah," Bridgette replied, "Chris just enjoys psyching you out. After a week on the show, you'll learn to kind of just ignore him."
"I don't know," Courtney chimed, "his example was pretty specific. Maybe we should just move away from here."
"No way, Dudette," Geoff hollered, wrapping his arms around his girlfriend. "This is a prime time to catch some rays with my little hotty right here."
Bridgette giggled lightly and gave her boyfriend a light peck on the lips. That peck quickly escalated into a full blown make-out session. Courtney rolled her eyes and dragged Bridgette away from Geoff.
"Bridgette," the CIT chastised, "we talked about this. You're not allowed to make out with Geoff until after the challenge. I can't have you getting kicked off because you can't control your lips again."
The surfer pouted but agreed. She settled with just holding her boyfriend's hand.
A while later, when Chris warning was becoming a fading memory, the ground began to shake.
"Earthquake!" Haily screamed happily. (we're not exactly sure why…)
Everyone was terrified. They had no idea what exactly the best course of action.
"Let's hide under the desks!" Lindsay proudly suggested.
"Honey," Elaine said calmly, "as good of an idea that is, it's probably not the best solution right now."
"Oh, okay"
A terrified scream that somebody would have confused with Phillip's if anybody had known him well erupted from the forest.
CJ came barreling out of the forest, carrying the flag. The sheer horror on his face told of the horrors of what was behind him. Well, what was behind Rocki, because she was behind him and wasn't that horrifying.
"Okay," Yael shouted, "what's going on? Everything went all quite after that scream."
Suddenly, the stampede of beasts broke free from the tree line. Their tusks swung back and forth with each and every step they took.
"Oh *censored* *censored* *censored* ."
Rocki, CJ, and most of the Golden Oldies darted past all of their frozen teens. It was Bridgette that made the life-saving announcement. "You guys, we have to try and unfreeze everyone!"
"Girl, we can't help them," LeShawna said as she tugged on her friends arm. "Their best hope is for them to move and just lose this stupid game."
"Not if I have anything to say about it." Rocki turned back and sprinted past the surfer to save the lives of her fellow teammates.
Confession Cam
James – How could those beavers even be real? I don't recall ever reading about them. (He pulls out an I-phone)
*static*
Geoff – And that's why I love Bridgette. She's always thinking of other people.
*static*
Rocki – I knew that that was the time for me to prove I was more than just a series of failures and mishaps. That, and I didn't want anyone to, you know, die.
*static*
James – (he's reading off the I-phone screen) Chrisalus Beaverus, discovered by the one and only Chris Mclean. (he's finished reading) I believe now is the time for what they call a face hand.
The blonde darted back and forth, tagging each and every one of her frozen teammates. Diana, Jonathon, and Miranda were the first to be set free.
Miranda charged for Tony, scooped him up in her arms in a gender inverted bridal position, and took off down the beach.
"How do we get out of here?" Beth yelped.
"Get on the water ski," Courtney suggested.
"We can't," Harold told the CIT, "CJ took off with it as soon as he got on it."
"Now what?"
"I don't know," LeShawna hollered in a way that only LeShawna could, "but whatever it is, move!"
Rocki had unfrozen a majority of her team during the course of the discussion. She tagged the last of the teammates that she saw, Yael.
"Am I unfrozen?" The blind teen asked.
"Yes," Rocki screamed as she ran away from the still charging beavers. Yael, still in her state of no eye-sight, ran towards the beasts instead.
"Yael, you're running the wrong way," everybody screamed, but they were drowned out by the grunts and snorts made by the beavers.
A blur moved quickly across the white sand of the beach. It went flying through the air and tackled Yael, sending her toppling out of the path of destruction.
"You really need to get your glasses," Sabrina, who had been the mysterious blur that saved Yael's life, panted.
Confession Cam
Yael – (she's actually facing the camera. Way to go Yael!) What can I say, I was panicking. Nobody would tell me what was going on. All I knew was that something bad was happening, and we were all in danger. So, I ran to the moving blurs, I assumed they were everybody else. I sure am lucky that Sabrina was there to save my life.
*static*
Sabrina – I didn't want her to go get trampled to death. Even though that would have gotten some good ratings, and I know how Chris likes his ratings.
The beavers charged into the water, just barely missing the contestants. Sadly for them, their large masses wouldn't allow for them to swim after CJ and their beloved flag.
Downtrodden, the beavers made their way back into the swamps of Boney Island.
"Well that was anti-climatic" Harold wheezed.
Lake Wawanakwa
CJ was speeding across the surface of the water. He had placed the flag between his legs in order to ensure that it would not fall off. The flag placement was obstructing his view.
"Hey, watch it," a voice called. The voice belonged to Izzy, who went astoundingly flying by on a pair of skis. The astounding part was the fact that she wasn't being pulled by any form of aquatic transportation.
CJ had to make a double take to see the girl break the laws of physics.
Confession Cam
CJ – How is that even possible?
*static*
Izzy – There are just some things that can only be explained by me being crazy awesome.
*static*
Owen – (He's reading off some flashcards) For some reason, when Izzy reached the island, Chef came and picked us all up in the boat of losers. He wouldn't tell us who won, just that we were all meeting up at the campfire area to announce the winner. (He opens the door) Chris, I'm done reading, can I come out now?
The forty-four contestants were all crowded into the tiny bonfire ceremony area. They were clearly divided into new and old.
Chris stood at his typical spot behind he oil drum.
"I'm sure you're all wondering who won the challenge," the narcissist grinned.
"Um, yeah, we are," Anna muttered.
"Well, it was"
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"Great, he's doing dramatic pause crap again," Gwen spat.
"Shush!"
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"The N00bz!"
The new contestants let out an uproarious scream. Most of them hi-fived and hugged each other each other in celebration. Only the few socially awkward ones elected to stick out of the celebration and just smile.
The returning campers gasped in horror. They all knew that one of them was going to be leaving soon, and looked anxiously at one another.
Elaine walked over and congratulated each and every member of the losing team on giving a good effort.
Confession Cam
Elaine - It makes me really sad to see all the others sad, so I figured I'd give them a little pick me up.
*static*
Trent - I can honestly say that I don't want to see anybody leave so soon, not even Heather. Yeah, that last part is incredibly hard to believe. Maybe I'll vote for Duncan...
"Congrats to the CJ for being the first person to bring the opposing team's flag to their island," Chris exclaimed happily.
The new contestants cheered wildly and clapped the otaku on the back. CJ smiled happily at being the pride of the team, he even puffed his chest out slightly.
"for winning the challenge, the N00bz avoid elimination, receive a special mattress for their bed, and I get fifty bucks into my pocket, so fork it over, Chef."
"Not so fast, pretty boy," the burly man huffed. "I have evidence that one of the new kids broke the rules."
"And what exactly is this proof?"
Chef pulled a small, hand-held device the size of a hamster out of his pocket. "A video," he said
"Crap"
On the small, hand-held device the size of a hamster.
Amanda was roaming through the swamps on Boney Island. She was looking for something. The bush didn't hold it. The tree top didn't either. The snake hidden under a rock didn't have it either.
"Ezekiel!" she called. "Where are you? I have another joke for you"
"Girl moved while she was frozen. That means The Golden Oldies win!" the cook beamed.
Most of the Golden Oldies all let out celebratory whoops, while the N00bz glared at the blonde, unbeknownst to her. Chris even glared at her as he forked over a wad of cash over to Chef's grubby hands.
Amanda just sat on her little tree stump, talking away with her new friend, Ezekiel.
"Looks like everything I just said the N00bz get goes to the Golden Oldies." Chris grumbled. "Stupid girl"
Confession Cam
Anna – (She's holding up a piece of paper) What are we supposed to write with? If these sick nasties are thinking what I think they're thinking, they have a (Chris opens the door and hands her a pen) Oh, thank you.
*static*
Grace – It really sucks how we didn't get to strategize any before we voted. Maybe Chris just wanted to see Amanda go home with no hassle. I guess I can live with that.
*static*
Diana – (her paper says*censored*) *censored* is going the *censored* down.
*static*
Kayla – (she's sobbing so hard, her paper is getting smudged)
A couple hours later, the N00bz were sitting around the campfire. Amanda was still carrying on her conversation with Ezekiel. All the other immune contestants were waiting down by the dock, because they knew exactly who was going to go.
Chris stood behind he oil drum, oddly enough holding no sign for immunity.
"First, we have no symbol for immunity this time."
"You mean just like the second half of last season." Tony asked.
"Exactly! Secondly, I'm sure you all know why you're here, right?" Chris asked the group.
"Yes," was the monotonous reply.
"Then you all know that—"
"Look," Vanessa interrupted. "We've all seen the last three seasons and know your speech. We're tired, dirty, and a little cramped. So would you just hurry up and get this over with."
"Fine, Amanda, head down to the dock. You're the first boot-off this season." The chatty blonde was ignoring the host and was carrying along with her conversation with Ezekiel.
"Amanda," Chris snapped as he went and stood next to her.
She finally acknowledged him. "Oh, there you are, I thought I smelled the cookies from the kitchens of the little elves that live in your hair."
Chris rolled his eyes, "Whatever, Wierdo, just get out of here, I'm tired."
Amanda sighed but got up reluctantly. She was about to walk down to the dock of shame when Ezekiel grabbed her hand. "Yoo can't go, eh. Yoo're the first friend I've made out here."
"To bad, Home school." Chris said, slapping his hand to make him let go.
Minutes later, Chris shoved Amanda on the rickety boat of losers which was piloted by Chef Hatchet. Amanda gave a good-bye wave to Ezekiel as she disappeared into the horizon.
Boat of Losers Confession Cam
Amanda – So I'm not going to win millions of dollars, big whoop. I just hope this resort has some people with a decent sense of humor.
Chef – Actually, you're going to be the only one there blondie.
Amanda – (Her eyes go wide in horror) WHAT! (she begins to shake)
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Voting decisions
Amanda – Fran
Diana - *censored*
Kayla - illegible
Everybody that isn't Amanda, Diana, or Kayla – Amanda
Vote totals
Amanda – 19
*censored* - 1
Illegible - 1
Fran – 1
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Yeah, I know it's really short, but I wanted to update soon. So this is what you get. Yeah, I know, I'm sad to see Amanda go so soon, but hey, somebody's got to go.
And I'm sorry for all the UTR1's (for all you edgic savvy people) that the returning contestants received. (they would be INV, but the first chapter was an introductory chapter, so I consider it to automatically make everybody a UTR at least) I like to think that this was just a chapter to kind of introduce the new characters. P.S. I'll be posting an edgic on my Deviant art in about three days.
And in case you couldn't tell, most of Amanda's little quips are off of Glee! Aren't I original?...
Vote off list: Amanda
Up next: four more contestants enter the fray. We learn where the contestants will be sleeping.