Disclaimer – I own nothing
Acknowledgements – The idea for this challenge is heavily based on that of one Kobold Necromancer. This guy is my hero, and the challenge this one is based on is one of my all time favorites of his. So this is to acknowledge him and his crazy awesome writing skills.
IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE – In order to avoid confusion with the canon characters (which I may add to the story), My character Mike shall hence forth be called Vince and my character Sam will now be called Diana. I have gone back and changed their names in previous chapters. Thank you for reading this note.
Also, this is a T story, which means it deals with TEEN issues. I mention this inparticular as there will be a mentioning of a certain problem experienced by females on a monthly basis (28 days to be exact)
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Gwen had never been much of a morning person. Her alarm clock would roar to life at the god-awful hour of seven o'clock, forcing her to leave her delightful dreams of a Chrisless world. Once awakened, the Goth would be numb to the world. So numb, she could stab a toe and wouldn't feel it for an hour (for anybody who has ever stubbed their toe completely understands how astounding that can be.)
On the morning of the second challenge, this fact became very noticeable. Gwen, whose internal clock had synchronized with her alarm clock, much to her chagrin, woke up at seven o'clock. The Goth slipped out of her bed and slipped her feet into the snow that lay beneath.
"LeShawna," Gwen cried once she reached the location of where the door should have been, "where's the door?"
""What do you mean 'Where's the door?' It should be right there." LeShawna groaned as she rubbed her eyes.
"It's not there," Gwen groaned, swinging her arms around, searching for the door.
"Wh-why is it s-s-so c-cold?" Harvard chattered.
"Maybe it's because we're on top of a snow covered mountain," Noah droned as he walked by the just-rising group, sipping a cup of hot chocolate.
It took a moment for the information to sink in, but once it did, it became quite evident. "We're what?" Gwen and LeShawna both shouted.
"Guys, don't be so loud," Bridgette, still in her top bunk, pleaded, "remember, we're on top of a mountain. One that's probably very susceptible to avalanches."
Gwen and LeShawna, realizing that what she said was true, shut up. Sadly, Duncan didn't get the message. "Yo Pasty," the delinquent yelled, "Care to join the rest of us for a cup o-" Anna, who was smart enough to realize how stupid the delinquent was being, slapped her hand over his mouth, silencing him.
The four late risers all made their ways over to the large assortment of teenagers. "Why are you all awake so early?" Gwen asked.
"Because somebody," Eva growled, not hiding her death glare at Haily, "had to pee at five in the morning. When she realized that the ground was covered in snow, she decided it would be a great idea to wake us all up and tell us." The fitness enthusiast increasingly became angry as she recalled the enraging memory. When she finished, she was so angry, she pulverized Harold and CJ's anime themed snowman.
"No," CJ sobbed, "why must you kill Goku?"
Harold tried to comfort his otaku friend. "It's ok, CJ. Her rage level was just too high."
"Was it over nine thousand?"
"Yes, yes it was."
"Nerds," Duncan coughed, earning a disapproving nod from Gwen and an 'amen' from Sabrina. "Look on the bright side," he said, "at least you were lucky enough to be put all the way over there where Little Miss Loudmouth didn't see you."
"Thank god for that, I guess," Gwen muttered, her teeth beginning to chatter. "McLean better hurry, these pajamas aren't meant to be worn in freezing temperatures."
Elaine brought the Goth and her roommates their own respective cups of hot coco. "Thank goodness Lyle had all these packets of hot chocolate and a water boiler with him."
"I'm just going to drink my hot chocolate and not question why," Bridgette stated as she sipped her beverage.
"That's probably best."
"Good morning campers!" Chris gleefully exclaimed. The host rode up on an expensive looking snowmobile with chef in a small passenger car. They were both wearing their white parkas, a common image to any contestant that had competed in the previous season. "You'll nev—"
"Please don't tell me we have to freeze our asses off again," Heather complained. "Surely those coats from last season have finally arrived."
"If they haven't," Vince interjected, "I'd like for mine to be in onyx."
"Will you all shush," the host snapped. "The sooner I get done introducing your challenge, the sooner you'll be able to get off this freezing mountain top. What I was going to say was 'you'll never guess what today's challenge is.'"
"Is it a car race from the top of the mountain to some yet to be determined location, full of road rage and bickering?" James asked.
"Well, actually, yeah," Chris muttered, saddened that his big reveal had been ruined. "How did you know?"
"Well, the cars parked over there were a pretty good hint," the giant said, indicating the nine sedans parked a hundred feet away. "The rest was just a hypothesis."
"Not bad, mi amigo alto," Alejandro said, clapping the giant on the back.
"Well, since somebody had to ruin my fun in revealing the challenge," Chris huffed, "I'll just give you the rules. Each car is exactly the same, same amount of gas, same mileage. You all will also get one hundred dollars for gas and food. You will be driving to a favorite place for several of you, a certain abandoned film studio!"
Many contestants groaned. In fact the only ones that were remotely interested were Sierra and Tony. "Oh my God," the fangirl exclaimed, grabbing Cody, "the only time I was ever there, a couple guard dogs chased me out in a matter of minutes. Now I'll be there and Cody can give me my own personal tour!"
"You do realize that I didn't get to compete in that season? I have no idea where anything is there."
"Oh, that's fine, we'll just get lost together! It will be an adventure for two best friends."
Chris let out a not so subtle cough for attention. "Moving on, I will be breaking you up into teams of five with two teams of six. Everybody has to drive at least five miles in the trek, and that means everybody."
"But what if we don't know how to drive?" Lindsay asked.
"Then I hope you're a fast learner," Chris chuckled. "All of you are lucky I decided not to make these cars sticks."
"You just didn't want them to strip the gears," Chef interjected.
Chris shrugged. "Also, the confessionals for this challenge will be located in the trunks of your cars." Several contestants raised their hands. "Yes there is enough room for you all to fit and make your trivial announcements for the world to hear. No, it's not enough room to be comfortable. Yes, the trunks are mostly empty. Anything else?"
The contestants all lowered their hands, shocked at how well Chris knew what they were all thinking. "Impressive," Grace confessed.
"Finally, the last two teams to place will be up for elimination. In order to place, only one member of your team needs to cross the finish line. Your car does not
"Now for the teams. Team one will consist of James, CJ, Sierra, Tyler, and," the host pondered the possible teammates for the group. He eventually stumbled upon, what he considered to be, the perfect team. "Since James was so rude in ruining my reveal, you all get Mr. Coconut!"
This decision received a mixed reaction. While the vocal members of team one protested, most of the others sighed, happy to not compete on the same team as the fruit.
"But how can we possibly make a coconut drive?" Sierra asked.
"To be honest," Chris said, irritated, "I don't care how you get him to drive. Maybe you should ask your resident genius over there to solve your problem."
"Maybe he's a character from Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo and can do all kinds of humany things," CJ suggested.
"Boy, you need to get with reality," LeShawna murmured, "This ain't one of your little cartoons."
"Prove it."
This sister remained silent, either out of annoyance, or the fact that she had no idea how to prove such a statement.
"Team two will be Vanessa, Eva, Izzy, Trent, and Phillip." Chris said cheerfully, chuckling lightly at Phillip's shrill scream. Izzy darted over and hopped right in The first car's driver seat, honking the horn.
Vanessa pulled each of her teammates into huddle. This process scared Phillip, shocked Trent, and angered Eva. "I don't like the idea of her driving," Vanessa said.
"We're all going to die," Phillip muttered, his arms wrapped tightly around his body.
"His fear actually makes since," Trent said, slightly frightful of the idea of Izzy driving.
"Even I'm scared," Eva muttered, not that it showed.
"So it's agreed, we let her drive five miles and that is it," Vanessa proposed. "If she protests, Eva kicks her ass."
The team pondered this plan. They all turned to Eva for her seal of approval. She nodded. "I like it."
"Team three," Chris shouted, trying to get the camera man's attention, "will be Rocki, Tony, Vince, Grace, and Justin"
Several female contestants sighed, disappointed not being on the same team as Tony. Four of the five team members shrugged, seeing nothing wrong with their team. Grace on the other hand, was slightly worried. "You are able to drive, right?" The school-girl asked Rocki.
"Of course," Rocki giggled. "That's actually one of the few things I'm good at. I have one of the lowest car insurance payments in the country, I'm so good."
"Well, I guess that's reassuring."
"Team four will be Geoff, Jonathon, Yael, Harvard, and Cody."
"Awesome Dude," Geoff hollered, throwing his arms around Cody and Jonathon, "It's going to be like a traveling bachelor pad, just me and the dudes."
"But I'm a girl," Yael interjected. Geoff noticed that what lone female said was true and walked over to his girlfriend, deflated. Bridgette took this time to point out the fact that he was also not a bachelor.
Chris pulled a small box out from behind his back. "That reminds me. Yael, one of the producers told me to give this to you." He tossed the girl the box, which Trent intercepted for her, as it was about to hit her in the face.
"Thank you, kind blur." She opened the box and pulled out a pair of small wired lenses. "My glasses!"
"Yes, very good, now put them on so we can move on. Team five will consist of Katie, Sadie, Miranda, Blaineley, and Noah!" Chris seemed happier with this team than any of the others. The reactions just making that fact even more evident.
Katie and Sadie squealed in delight, Miranda eventually joining them. Blaineley looked slightly cross, but kept her mouth shut. Noah, on the other hand, screamed like bloody mary. "You have got to be kidding me! You can't put me with them! You cruel, sadistic man! Guantanamo Bay has nothing on you!"
"Thank you," The host chuckled as the group hug enveloped their screaming teammate. "Team six will have Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, and Beth."
"Chrith," Beth whined, "are you thure you want to do that?" She kept looking wearily over at Heather, who also didn't seem so thrilled.
"Don't flatter yourself, farm girl," the queen bee spat, "I'm just about as happy with this team as you, maybe less so."
"Oh, shut the *censored*up, you *censored*," Diana snapped.
"Hey now, let this aggression simmer until we get you all on the road, until then, shush it. Now, team seven will be Anna, Gwen, Duncan, Fran, and Sabri-"
A loud shriek cut off the host, coming from Sabrina, who'd thrown her arms around Duncan's torso. "Thank you, thank you, thank you."
Chris wore a confused expression. "You're … welcome?"
"Uhm," Gwen muttered, "Could you let go of my boyfriend?"
Sabrina reluctantly let go of the mohawked fiend, but smiled just the same. "I guess so. I'm just really excited to be on your team."
Chris was starting to get a little agitated with the constant loss of his talking time. "The next two teams will be our teams of six. Team eight will be Courtney, Elaine, Owen, Alejandro, Haily, and Lyle."
Owen joyously picked up Haily and Elaine, his grip getting away from him in his excitement. "Alright guys, we are going to have so much fun."
"Owen, dear," Elaine cooed, "could you lighten your grip just a tad? You are squeezing quite hard."
Haily hugged the lovable oaf in return. "Oh, I like it. It's his way of showing he's a man. Keep it up, big guy."
Lyle dashed for the cars. "I call driving!"
"Can he even see over the seats?" Courtney asked.
"Well, we did plan ahead and gave you guys one of those pillows you sit on to see over the steering wheel."
"Well, at least you planned ahead for that."
"Chris," Harold spoke up, "Does this mean that the rest of us are going to be the last team?"
"Well duh"
"Awesome, it's a Team Victory reunion!"
LeShawna turned to face Chris. "You really hate us, don't you? What, we didn't suck enough last season?"
"No, I just know your team was a fan favorite last year, for some reason. So, I decided to put you all together before you all got kicked off. We can't have you losers all leaving before we get a chance to mine you for ratings!"
While most of team victory looked upset by the slight truth of what Chris said, Ezekiel wasn't going to stand for it. "That's what yoo think, eh. This year, Team Victory is going all the way! Right?"
Sadly, he was met by a resounding silence and a murmur from Bridgette.
"Now that there is nothing left to do, you all have ten minutes to get ready and make any confessions about your team that you just need to get off your chest."
"WAIT!" came a booming voice. Said booming voice belonged Jonathon, who calmly had his hand raised for silence. "I'm just curious. How were you able to get all of us on top of a snowy mountain without anybody waking up?"
"Simple, Chef and I just used a small dose of chloroform."
"HA!" Phillip bellowed, pointing at Harold. "You said I was crazy for saying somebody was going to use chloroform on us, but I was right. I'm not crazy!"
Trunk cam
Gwen – She's curled up in a ball to fit in the trunk) I've only known him for a day and we've barely talked, but I can honestly say that boy is crazy. (She looks around her surroundings) I'm going to kill Chris for putting this in here.
*static*
Katie & Sadie – (The two of them are crammed in the trunk, Sadie crushing Katie against the side of the trunk.)
Katie – Sadie, I think it may be time try to make confessions by ourselves.
Sadie – I think you might be right.
*static*
Vanessa – I wonder if Chris would be willing to lend us some of that chloroform, because that's the only way I'm going to be able to handle Izzy.
*static*
Sabrina – You know, Chris is old news. I can't believe I ever had any interest in him. Bad boys are where it's at, hubba hubba, especially if they're shirtless.
*static*
Courtney – Chris is lucky Lyle had that hot chocolate with him. If he hadn't, we probably would have all frozen, and we could have sued. I mean, he didn't even bring our normal clothes to change into, so we have to do this challenge in our pajamas. Thank goodness nobody sleeps in the nude.
*static*
Haily – Thank goodness I decided to wear pajamas last night.
*static*
DJ – You know, I'm kind of happy Chris put the old team back together. I liked our team from last season. Now I just wish I could find bunny.
*static*
Heather – Why is it that, of all people I get some of the most annoying people in the competition on my team? I mean, I get the cry baby, the cusser, and Beth. Ugh, it's going to take patience to get through this chall- (Suddenly, Heather lurches forward, hitting her head on the lens.) What the, is this thing moving?
Team 6 – Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, Beth
"See, I *censored* told you it would work. Just leave the *censored* in the trunk and everything will be ok," Diana said, jabbing her thumb at the loud thumping from the back.
Ethan adjusted the rear view mirror to see his swearing teammate. "I don't know," THUMP "I've seen the last few seasons" THUMP "and live in a house full of girls" THUMP "and I know that a pissed off girl, especially" THUMP "Heather is not fun."
"Well, she can *censored* deal with it. We'll let the *censored* out when we take a potty break."
Kayla yelped, rubbing the small of her back. "I think she just punched the back of the seat."
"YOU FREAKS BETTER LET ME OUT OF HERE!" Heather's muffled voice screamed.
Beth giggled from her spot in the passenger seat. "Ethan'th right, she ith going to be tho mad, but it'th worth it."
The four of them rode on in relative quiet as Ethan made his teams way down the mountainside, the silence only being broken by the occasional rant of Heather or the sound of a car plummeting off the side of the mountain.
"Kayla," Beth said, breaking the silence, "You theem to be doing better today. Are you over your boyfriend."
"Well, it was hard, you know, but I've been trying to get over him. I've been trying not to think about it. How kind and funny he was. How he would hold me when Marley died. How *sniff*he would call me *sniff* beautiful!" With that, the seemingly calm girl broke into hysterics. She leaned across the back seat and put her head on Diana's waiting shoulder.
Diana gave Beth a very serious death glare. "I'm thorry," Beth apologized, "I didn't mean to. I wath just trying to start up a converthation."
"Whatever, you're just lucky I *censored* like you, *censored*."
"Is that how you talk to all the people you like?" Ethan asked as he made his way around a pretty sharp turn.
"HEY," Heather screamed, "BE CAREFUL OUT THERE!"
"Yes, yes I do," Diana replied, completely ignoring Heather's complaints. She pet Kayla's hair in comfort as the team traveled in silence again. Well, as silent as it can be with one girl sobbing and another raging in the trunk.
Beth, still feeling bad about making Kayla so upset decided to offer up a bit of advice. "My mom thayth that if you talk about thomething, it'th a lot eathier to get over."
"Beth has a point, so tell us more about this bastard."
"*sniff* ok. We met at a summer camp about two years ago. He *sniff* was a counselor and I was a senior camper. We talked all week, *sniff* got to know each other. *sniff* The night before camp was over, he took me to *sniff* a romantic picnic next to the lake and asked me to be his *sniff* girlfriend." She began to sob, the memory getting to be too much.
"Shh," Diana said, wiping away the tears, "What happened after that?"
"Well, I s-said yes. We were going *sniff* to have a long distance *sniff* relationship, but turns out we both *sniff* live in Toronto. So-"
"Hold up," Diana interrupted, "what was that?"
"We both live in Toronto."
"As in the place that we are heading right now?" Kayla nodded her head feebly, not sure where this was going. "Well *censored* Beth's mom's way, we're gonna do this my way. Ethan pull into that gas station up ahead, we need to change drivers and let the *censored* out anyway."
Ethan did as he was told. "What exactly is it that you're planning?"
"We're just going to make a little detour before we go cross the finish line. We're gonna *censored* this little*censored* *censored* right up his *censored*."
"You really don't have to do this," Kayla pleaded.
"Shh, yes we do. Now hurry the *censored* up, we have revenge to extract and a race to win."
Trunk cam
Heather – (She's mumbling to herself) When I get out of here, those losers are so going to- (The hatch to the trunk opens, revealing Ethan.) It's about time! Now help me get out of here!
*static*
Ethan – I'm not going to lie, I like my team, They are much better than who I was stuck with last time. I just wish there was some way to convince Heather to get back in the trunk.
*static*
Beth – (She's trying to stifle her laughter) It was tho funny. Heather got out of the trunk and fell flat on her face! I'm starting to really like thith theathon. Heather ith thuffering, and I'm on a team with thome pretty cool people. Diana can be really thweet and Kayla theems like a nithe girl. Ethan'th isth really quite though.
*static
Kayla – (She appears to have calmed down from her earlier crying) Diana has me a little worried. After we pulled over, she ran into the store with the money and came back with a bunch of toilet paper and eggs. Now we barely have enough money for gas. At least the cars have good mileage.
*static*
Diana – Oh yeah, that little *censored* is going to get what's coming to him.
Team 2 – Vanessa, Trent, Izzy, Eva, Phillip
"no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no," Phillip chanted. "There is no way you are getting me into that machine of destruction. I am severely terrified of riding in a car driven by somebody with less than ten years experience."
Trent tried in earnest to get his teammate into the car, but Phillip was much stronger than he looked. Every time Trent would try to push him into the car, Phillip would push against the door frame.
Vanessa, who had kicked Izzy out of the driver's seat honked the horn. "Trent, would you hurry up and get him in the car? Everybody else has already left!"
"Did you hear all those screeching tires?" Izzy asked, a little too excited. "Wow, they were going fast. If I was driving, I'd burn rubber. We'd have to replace the tires after a couple miles!"
"And that's why you are barely going to drive."
Eva, with the short temper we all know she has, was getting very irritated. After a couple more minutes of waiting she got out of the car. "Get in the car or I'm going to make you."
Phillip was now faced with an odd decision, face his fear of riding in a car driven by a teenager or face his fear of being beaten in the face by a female with a larger muscle mass than him. He, for unknown reasons chose to face the latter. "No"
"What was that?"
"I said no. You can't make me."
That statement sent Eva into a rage. She picked up Phillip and threw him into the backseat, screaming. Before any of her teammates could say anything, she stomped over to her side, tore the door off it's hinges, tossed it aside, and took her seat. "Well," she said, indicating Vanessa's position in the front seat, "go!"
With that, Vanessa floored it with Trent barely making it into the car. The musician buckled up and set Phillip's dazed head into his lap.
"Wow Eva," Izzy cooed, "that was awesome. You went all she-hulk on him. Not in the terribly offensive way, but in the I'm-woman-and-I-kick-butt kind of way."
"Whatever," Eva scoffed.
"Was ripping the door off really that necessary?" Vanessa asked. "You could just open and close it like any normal human being."
"What do you mean by 'normal human being'?" Eva bellowed, straining against her seat belt.
"All I'm saying is that it takes a freak to rip of a car door."
"Oh, I'll show you freak!"
"Guys, calm down, there's no need to fight," Trent begged. He tried to push Eva back in her seat to no avail.
"Aww, don't be such a spoil sport, Trent," Izzy complained. "I kind of wanted to see a nice little cat fight!"
"A cat fight in a car?"
"Uh huh, the added danger makes the fight all the more fun, especially if it was right next to the hole in the guard rail."
Phillip bolted upright, screaming, "NO GUARD RAIL!" He looked out the window (well, where a window was supposed to be) and saw the lack of guard rail as well as the incredibly high drop off the side of the mountain. With that, Phillip collapsed back in Trent's lap. That was bad news for Trent.
"Ooo, right. In. the kiwis."
Trunk cam
Eva – Me and this Vanessa girl are going to have a problem. If she thinks she's going to be able to call me a freak and still have a recognizable face, she doesn't know crap. Though her road rage is rather impressive.
*static*
Vanessa – I was just making a point, trying to help Eva. It's not really my fault she's a bit heavy on the steroids and can't take any advice. Of course, half the time I was giving her advice, I was ramming that car in front of us. That might have had something to do with it.
*static*
Trent & Phillip – (The two of them look particularly cramped in the trunk. Phillip's still unconscious) I decided that I should watch over Phillip. The guy seems a little weird, but nobody deserves to be left unconscious, unmonitored, near Izzy. I think she found some matches. (He shudders)
Phillip – (He wakes up) CLIFF! (He bolts upright, bangs his head on the spare, and falls unconscious again)
Trent – I wonder how many times he's going to do that.
*static*
Izzy – (She's munching away on a bag of Cheetos) I really wanted to drive first, but Vanessa said that I can drive on a nice flat road and go as fast as I can. Hehe, the speedometer says the car can only go a hundred and fifty miles per hour. I plan on proving it wrong.
Team 1 – Sierra, James, Tyler, CJ, Mr. Coconut
"Would you drive faster?" CJ asked James. The Otaku was seated in the passenger seat beside the intelligent giant, who was driving at a very moderate speed. "There's nothing worse than a slow driver. Well, I guess you could drive like Italy from Hetalia. I don't think I could handle that."
"Dude's got a point," Tyler grunted, "you have the car behind us trapped. Izzy won't stop yelling at us in that super creepy granny voice she does."
"I'm driving at the optimal speed for a curvy, snow laden road to ensure maximum safety and speed," James defended. "I don't want to end up like that other car."
"At this rate, I could have wooed, married and been divorced by Cody by the time we get off this mountain," Sierra snapped, using Mr. Coconut as a puppet to agree with her.
"I suppose I could slightly accelerate." The car jolted forward.
"That a way, man," Tyler cheered. The car started continued to gain a dangerous amount of speed. "Ok dude, you don't have to go that fast."
"I haven't even touched the gas pedal!"
"Then what…"
Sierra pointed out the rear window. "Oh my God, look!" Outside, the car behind them was right on their bumper. Literally, the car behind them was actually pushing them along the road. Vanessa had a maniacal gleam in her eye while Izzy was maniacally cackling.
"We have to get them off!" CJ exclaimed, "she's going to run us off the road."
"What do you think we should do?" Tyler asked.
"Maybe we should throw something at her to distract her," Sierra suggested.
CJ decided that was a pretty good idea. The scrawny boy rolled down his window and grabbed the nearest projectile, which just so happened to be a certain Coconut. The Otaku hurtled the fruit at the aggressive car's windshield, cracking it. Other than the crack, the car seemed unfazed. Mr. Coconut bounced off and rolled into the road.
"You should have let me throw it. Me and my super strong fingers would have shattered that window."
"But don't we need Mr. Coconut to drive the car if we want to win the challenge?" James pointed out as he tried to keep the vehicle from plummeting off a cliff.
An 'Oh crap' face etched its way across the faces of Tyler and CJ. "Turn around!" They both screamed.
"I fail to see any possible way to do that, there is a startling lack of room to make a u-turn."
"I bet, if you turned the wheel really fast to the right, you'd do one of those cool circle turn things like in Fast and Furious."
"That is highly improbable."
"We don't have another choice!"
James contemplated the thought as Vanessa sped even faster. Their car was beginning to weave out of control. "Oh, alright" The intellect jerked the wheel as far to the right as he could turn it.
The car started to spin wildly out of control. Tyler and Sierra clung to each other, one of them screaming like a girl. (We're going to protect Tyler's dignity by not revealing that it was him … damn it!)
The car behind them began to pull back.
"We're all going to die, and not in a cool Battle Royal kind of way!" CJ screamed, clinging to the armrests of his seat.
After trying to gain control, James slammed on the breaks. The tires screeched, loud and blaring. The stink of burnt rubber filled the air. The car came to a stop. Sadly for team two behind them, they stopped in what would be considered one of the best parallel parking job to ever happen in one of the narrowest portions of the road, a couple inches in between the edge and cliff wall.
James stepped out of the car to assess the circumstance.
Team two pulled up along the road. Vanessa honked the horn. "Get out of the way!"
"You must be new to driving," James yelled, "because from what I can tell, that is somewhat of an impossibility."
"Eva, go move them!"
"Oh now you want me to use my muscle?"
"Yes!"
Eva stepped out of the hole in the side of the car and trudged over to the car.
James noticed the angry nature with which Eva was making her way towards the car, so he got back in the seat and buckled up.
Eva pushed on the back end of the car, turning it in the snow.
"You know, Eva was actually strongly considered to compete on Canada's Strongest woman?"Sierra asked. "She turned them down so she could join Total Drama."
Tyler flexed his muscles. "That's cool, I was considered for Canada's Strongest Man, but they must have thought I was too strong or something."
CJ chuckled. "Yeah, and Pikachu's a water pokemon."
Eva smashed the driver side mirror on the side of the cliff as she finished moving the car. She signaled for Vanessa to drive through the narrow path between the car and the cliff.
Vanessa tried to stay as close to the other car. So close, in fact, she was scraping the side. A high pitched screeched rang across the mountain side. The contestants all covered their ears. Izzy howled in pain.
After a minute of sheer pain, Vanessa cleared the gap. She then took off, forcing Eva to chase after the car.
The other car was left in terrible shape. The paint was scraped off and both side mirrors were shattered.
"Well that sucked," Tyler grumbled.
"And now our vehicle is facing in the opposite direction," James pointed out.
"Well, I'll drive," Sierra volunteered. "I'm a pretty good backwards driver, and you driving kind of put us in last place."
Trunk Cam
James – (He's very cramped in the confessional) I'm not enthralled with the idea of people insulting my driving. I was just putting the information that I learned in my defensive driving course to good use. A course Vanessa obviously needs to take.
*static*
Sierra – I don't really like all these new kids. I barely know anything about them. That's why I liked last season, I could tell you all the information about the original contestants, right down to their social security number. Which is odd, because we're Canadian, we don't have social security numbers.
*static*
Tyler – Why does Chris rarely do a sports challenge? That's where I'm gonna rule! This just sitting in a car thing is boring. Especially since we can't decide on a radio station or find anything to talk about.
*static*
CJ – I try to talk to my team, but all they do is make weird faces when I mention any anime. I guess they just don't understand. Maybe I can talk to Tyler about Japanese game shows.
Team 4 – Jonathon, Yael, Geoff, Harvard, Cody
As one might think, having a party animal at the wheel of a car was not a very good idea. "WHO-HOOOOOOOO!" Geoff screamed with his head sticking out of the window.
"Geoff, could you pull your head inside," Cody begged, trying to pull his teammate in.
"P-please," Harvard added.
Geoff reluctantly did so. "Alright, alright, it's all good dudes."
"Now that you're in the car, why don't you try and floor it? Watching these two freak out is entertaining," Jonathon chuckled, jabbing his thumb at Harvard and Cody.
"How about we don't," Cody gasped.
"It's not that bad," Yael said. The bespectacled girl was relaxing in the front seat, her arms behind her head and her feet on the dashboard.
"G-geoff, maybe w-we should try p-pulling over. I-it's been over five miles."
"Aww, are you sure?"
Harvard nodded, pointing at the electric speedometer. It read that the team had traveled thirteen miles.
"He's right," Cody said. "We did agree that we should get the mandatory driving out of the way. Besides, Jonathon drove to the gas station, so only Yael, me, and Harvard need to drive."
"Fine, but I want to control this baby again," Geoff said as he pulled over.
"You will, just don't count on it to be while we're still on this mountain."
"What kind of mountain has thirteen miles of road circling it?" Jonathon asked.
"Who cares?" Yael asked as she opened her door. Jonathon shrugged.
Geoff got out of the car. The screeching brakes of an approaching vehicle warned him of the coming danger, but it was too late. The side mirror bashed against his chest, knocking him over. The car sped up again, leaving the injured party animal behind.
"God man, not cool," Geoff screamed, clutching his side.
"Are you ok?" Yael asked as she ran around the front of the car. She knelt down beside him and tried to see if there were any serious injuries. "I don't see any blood."
"That was awesome!" Jonathon laughed, clapping his hands.
Cody came rushing over to see what he could do with Harvard close behind. "Is there anything we can do?"
"Yeah," Yael said as she hoisted the party animal on his feet, "Just help me get him in the back seat."
Harvard came and threw his teammates arm over his shoulder. He accidentally bumped up against Geoff's side, causing him to wail in pain.
"S-s-sorry!"
"Be careful," Yael pleaded. "I'm not a doctor, but I'm almost positive that he broke a couple ribs."
"S-sounds s-serious"
Harvard and Yael slowly made their way to the car, barely being missed by another car as it sped by. "These people drive like maniacs." Yael muttered.
"The prospect of a million dollars can do that to a person," Cody replied.
"Yeah, take it from us," Geoff groaned.
Cody opened the door to the back and let Yael gently set Geoff down. She tenderly buckled him in before closing the door.
Cody clapped his hands together. "We should probably get going. We do have a race to win."
"Sh-shouldn't we all t-try to g-get G-geoff to a hospital?"
"Well, once we get to the finish line, Chris can take care of that." Yael said.
"Yeah, like when I was attacked by a bear."
"Well, let's get going."
The three of them got in the car with Yael behind the wheel. They rode for a couple miles in silence until Yael hit a large bump in the road. The bump jolted Geoff, causing him to moan in pain.
"You ok?" Yael asked.
"I'm fine, dudette, just try to keep it smooth, k?"
"Sure that shouldn't be hard enough." Of course, with the universe being the universe, Yael had to eat her words in a matter of seconds. "Oh look, this portion of the road is gravel."
"Excellent," Jonathon giggled.
Trunk cam
Jonathon – To be honest, I don't think I could have asked for a better first portion to the race. I get to watch a car plummet off the side of a mountain then one of my teammates gets hit by a car. I think I'm going to like this show.
*static*
Harvard – I f-felt bad for G-geoff, he's nice. And that J-jonathon is really m-mean. Every t-time we hit a r-rock, he'd l-laugh like a hyena. J-j-j-jerk
*static*
Cody – Who was driving that car?
*static*
Yael – (She's holding up a flashcard) Geoff wanted me to make a confession for him because getting in here hurts too much. He says 'uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug'… I think it's supposed to be a pained moan.
Team 5 – Noah, Katie, Sadie, Miranda, Blaineley
Noah has had a pretty crappy life. He's constantly ignored by his family, He's no longer the best at Battle of Battlecraft. He's not very much liked by most of the contestants. Even with all of that, he has never truly considered suicide.
That all changed when he was stuck in a car with two screaming girls, and an overly moody woman.
Katie couldn't stop bouncing up and down. "Oh my God, Sadie, can you believe it? We're on the same team!"
Sadie mimicked her friend's hyper active bouncing. "Oh, I know, it's so cool, and we even have Miranda with us."
Their frizzy haired friend was trapped between the two in the back seat. "Yay" she said rather unenthusiastically.
Blaineley sat in the passenger's seat, desperately looking for something. "Where's there window button?"
"The what?" Noah asked.
"The window button, it operates that window I use when my driver smells or thinks he can talk to me."
"This isn't a limo, you have to suffer just like the rest of us, shrieking and all."
"What! Who do you think I am, some kind of normal contestant? I'm famous. I deserve to be treated better."
"I'm sorry to inform you, but you've been knocked down the fame perch to D-list, reality show competitor. Like I said, it's all downhill."
"Aw, that was what you said to us!" Katie and Sadie cooed.
"Actually, he said it to Lindsay," Miranda pointed out, "You two were just there, squealing in excitement."
"Oh yeah, she was in that magazine."
"We were so proud of her!"
The thought of the memory apparently excited the girls, as they began their signature screech. Noah came to the realization that the small enclosure made the screech even louder.
He made a sudden jerk of the wheel, driving it straight for the ridge.
"What are you doing!" the four females all screamed.
"I'm ending this misery, I can't take it. This incessant screaming, I'm ending it."
"Noah, stop," Katie pleaded, "We'll stop screaming, I swear!"
Sadie nodded. "Yeah, like totally"
Noah did nothing to acknowledge the two. Miranda rocked back and forth in her seat.
Blaineley slapped Noah, quite hard in fact, right in the face. The sudden pain and blood from his nose caused the know-it-all to slam on the brakes.
Noah tried his best to stop the bloody nose. "What the hell?"
"What the hell?" Blaineley snapped. "You were trying to kill all of us by driving off a cliff. Not only would you have ruined our chances of winning this race, you were almost responsible for the death of the biggest celebrity to be born in Canada!"
"How would he have kill Justin Bieber?" Miranda asked.
"Not that annoying twerp, ME!"
"Oh"
(On a completely unrelated note: Justin Bieber was vacationing in a small cottage at the base of the mountain that Noah would have easily hit if he had reached the right amount of velocity. So he would have been responsible for the death of two celebrities.)
Katie reached around the seat and rubbed Noah's back. "Noah, are you ok?"
"I'm just peachy," He sputtered, "just a temporary mental breakdown and a possibly broken nose."
"Well, that's good to hear," Sadie giggled, completely missing the sarcasm.
Blaineley impatiently tapped her fingers. "Can we get going?"
"Can't you see Noah's hurt!"
"Maybe I could drive and he can come sit back here with you two," Miranda suggested.
Noah had a serious disagreement with this plan. "No, I refuse."
"Please Noah? We really need to get going."
"Besides, I think it would make Katie really happy," Sadie said with a smirk.
Katie glared at her BFF. "We promise we won't squeal."
"Fine, but let the record show said I strongly objected.
Trunk cam
Miranda – To be honest, I didn't want to drive. I only have my permit. I just really wanted to get away from Katie and Sadie. They seemed to be really cool yesterday, but once we got over talking about The Time Before Dark, we don't really have that much else to talk about. I understand Noah's pain.
*static*
Katie – This is going to be such a fun challenge! Sadie and I used to take road trips all the time until I crashed her mom's car. It's bringing back so many memories. Maybe I can make some new ones.
*static*
Blaineley – Chris must be jealous of me. Why else would he make me do all of these dangerous challenges? He's trying to kill me off so he can take my job. Well, too bad Chris, this celebutante is here to stay.
*static*
Sadie – Do I make an awesome wing lady, or what? I'm subtle yet affective.
*static*
Noah – (He screams at the sky. Well, the roof of the trunk, but he means to scream at the sky) WHY?
Team 3 – Rocki, Justin, Vince, Grace, Tony
Rocki loved driving. She loved the freedom of going anywhere she wished, whenever she wished. She enjoyed the rapid thought process required to adequately drive. She loved it because she could do it, and she was good at it.
Too bad her teammates didn't believe her when she said that.
Grace sat wide-eyed in the passenger seat. Tony and Vince clung closely to each other. Justin kept moving, trying to find the best position in which to protect his face.
"Would you guys relax? We're not going to crash, at least not while I'm behind the wheel," Rocki whined.
"Can you blame us?" Vince gasped. "We know what you did to the dock on the island yesterday."
"I was there," Justin whined, "she nearly killed us all!"
Grace covered her eyes with her hands, leaving just enough room to peer through her fingers. "We don't mean to be rude, but you don't really have the best track rec-WATCH THE CURVE!"
Rocki handled the curve with ease, not that it was a very difficult curve in the first place. "I promise you guys, I'm perfectly capable of handling anything the road throws at me."
At that point in time, the universe decided that it wanted to test the girl's bold statement. The car began to swerve, seemingly out of control.
"What are you doing?" Grace gasped.
"It's just a bit of black ice, nothing to worry about."
"BLACK ICE!" the four frightened teams screamed in unison.
"Dear sentient being that blessed me with such a gorgeous face," Justin prayed, "if we do crash, let the damage be done to Tony's side of the car."
"Dear sentient being Justin believes in, ignore him," Tony countered.
Rocki remained as calm as a monk in the event of the crisis. She turned the steering wheel in the direction of the curve, just as her mother had taught her.
The car managed to pass over the black ice safely and soundly. Not even a scratch appeared on the car.
The car and its occupants were all in one piece, much to the occupants' surprise.
Rocki smirked at the stunned silence of her comrades. "See, told I'm an awesome driver."
"I guess," Grace said, trying to calm her breathing, "we were wrong. Sorry."
"Yeah, I guess seeing one car going over the edge kind of just put us all on edge." Vince muttered.
"Now that all that is past us, does anybody have any idea where the heck we're going?"
The three non-driving new contestants looked at the one veteran on the team. Justin shrugged. "I don't know where it is."
"But you spent an entire season in the abandoned film studio," Vince said.
"Well, I didn't really pay attention to how we got there, I was to busy being admired."
"Don't you mean ignored?" Tony murmured. This didn't get by Justin, who glared at the celebrity.
"Well, I guess we'll just stop and get a map," Grace said. "Rocki, pull over into that gas station."
"Okey dokey artichokey"
Trunk Cam
Rocki – I'm a pretty good driver, that was the one thing my mother made sure of. She'd always say, 'Rocki, I know how you are, so before I let you on the highway, unmonitored, in a screaming metal death trap, you're going to be driving better than Hollywood's best stunt driver.' And, well, now I'm somewhat three sevenths of the way there.
*static*
Grace – Not bad, not bad at all. Now that I know she is actually worth something, I might be able to have her last longer. It's always best to keep an easily accessible scape goat at all times, and Rocki is the perfect scape goat.
*static*
Vince – Why would you have a gas station on the side of a mountain?
*static*
Tony – What was with Justin and that whole 'let the car crash on Tony's side' thing? I never really did anything to him
*static*
Justin – I don't like Tony. After Total Drama Action, Lindsay and Beth stopped being wooed by my charms. That left Katie and Sadie to be my only admirers, and Tony took them away. I would say I'm not the jealous type, but that would be a total lie.
Team 9 – Bridgette, LeShawna, Lindsay, DJ, Harold, Ezekiel
"Guys have you seen bunny?"
LeShawna half paid attention to the question posed by her large teammate in the back seat, as she was preoccupied with driving. "I'm sure Chris just left him at the B&B."
"I hope so, I don't know what I'd do without my little buddy."
Ezekiel, who was lying across the laps of Bridgette, DJ, and Harold, was confused. "Why would you keep a rabbit as a pet, eh? There's nothing better than rabbit soup."
"That's a terrible thing to say!" Bridgette gasped.
"You've obviously never had my mom's rabbit soup."
Bridgette went to reply, but stopped herself, unable to come up with an actual response.
Lindsay turned to look at the home schooled boy. "What does rabbit soup taste like? Does it taste like carrots?"
"It tastes like murder," Bridgette muttered. DJ nodded in agreement.
"Actually, it's like chicken, but chewier," Ezekiel corrected.
Lindsay nodded and turned back around. She glanced out the window. Something caught her eye. "Aww, look, it's a cute little bunny."
"Hey DJ," Harold wheezed, "doesn't that look like bunny?"
"What?" The giant tried to look for said animal. To his surprise, Harold was correct. "That is bunny. STOP THE CAR!"
LeShawna hit the brakes, unsure about what was happening. DJ unbuckled and awkwardly climbed over Harold and Ezekiel.
The gentle giant rushed over to his furry little friend. "Bunny, there you are!"
"DJ, get your butt back in here!" LeShawna hollered. DJ ignored her as he rubbed noses with his newly reunited friend. He was so distracted by the adorable ball of fluff in his hands, he didn't notice the car that was racing toward him at high speeds.
The screeching of tires alerted him to the car, but it was too late to jump out of the way. DJ stared like a deer caught in the headlights and Bunny stared like a DJ caught in the headlights.
The car swerved out of the way, just missing DJ and his team's car. It crashed into the guard rail, the weak structure easily giving way to the force of the car. It then plummeted to the base of the mountain, it's occupants screaming for help.
Bridgette bolted out of the car. "Oh my Gosh! Who was that?"
"I don't know," DJ squeaked as he pet Bunny comfortingly. "Everything that just happened was a blur."
"I'm sure they're all okay," Ezekiel said in a not so sure tone.
"That's not even possible," Harold stated. "That drop's got to be close to two thousand feet. Nobody can survive that."
"Maybe they just go lucky, eh."
Bridgette poked her head over the edge of the cliff. "We should really do something."
"Well there's not much we can do on top of this mountain," LeShawna pointed out, "So lets all get in the car and get going."
"My luscious LeShawna's right. Maybe there's something we can do to go help them."
The teammates all agreed. They all got back in the car and drove off down the road.
Trunk cam
DJ – That was probably the scariest moment of my life. My whole whole life flashed before my eyes!... I sure do spend a lot of time with Mama.
*static*
Bridgette – How is it that no matter how mundane a challenge for this show is, somebody gets hurt? It makes me really worry about what Chris has planned for later this season.
*static*
Lindsay – Sometimes I think everybody doesn't agree with my ideas because their intimidated by how smart they are. Like, I kept suggesting that we take the shortcut that other team took, but they all kept saying no! Can you believe that?
*static*
Ezekiel – It's nice to not be the first guy kicked off again, eh. Maybe this season I'll actually be able to win and not fall in a volcanoo! I learned my lesson, doon't say anything sexist and don't lose a stick. Now I just need to get people to start liking me.
*static*
LeShawna – My team's hearts are in the right place, but they keep forgetting that we're in a competition. I'd like to go help that team that crashed, but I'd also like to guarantee that there's at least one team that won't be able to cross the finish line before us.
*static*
Harold – During my time at Steve's stunt driving summer camp, we learned all about survivable car crashes, and one thing Steve said to never do is drive your car over the side of a mountain. He said it was because you would die, and Steve has never lied to me before.
Team 8 – Haily, Owen, Elaine, Courtney, Lyle, Alejandro
"Alejandro, slow down!" Courtney demanded as she clutched the oh-crap handle.
"Calm down, mi amiga, I'm simply driving so we can win," Alejandro said. "In case you haven't noticed, we happen to be close to the lead."
Owen popped his head between the front two seats. "But Al, that's just because you slashed that other team's tire."
"And that wasn't very sportsmanlike," Elaine chastised.
"At least I only slashed one, all they have to do is change the tire with the spare."
"Where's Lyle?"Haily asked.
"I could have sworn I saw him around here."
"Maybe Owen sat on him."
The lovable oaf chuckled. "There's no way I could have sat on … the … little guy." Owen's eyes widened. "Sweet mother of sassafras, somebody help him!"
Haily and Elaine pushed their oversized friend, barely moving him forward. Courtney attempted to pull Owen forward from her seat.
Under all the strain, the seat belt snapped in two. It hit Haily in its recoil. "Ow, rope burn, and not the kinky kind!"
Alejandro drove around a curve and hit the brakes. Owen's momentum caused him to lurch forward, revealing Lyle. "Oxygen!" he gasped. Elaine pulled Lyle out from behind Owen in just enough time before the boy fell back in his seat.
Elaine cradled the distraught midget in her arms, rocking him back and forth. "There there, everything's going to be alright."
"So much leather, so little air."
Owen attempted to hug his injured teammate, but only got a hiss. "Hehe, sorry for that, I didn't really notice I was sitting on you."
Courtney turned back around, shaking her head in astonishment. The CIT did happen to notice something peculiar. "Alejandro, what happened to the side mirror?"
"Nothing to worry about, I just think Chris bought us some shoddily built cars and it fell off."
Haily giggled. "No it didn't. You hit that boy a little ways back."
"Oh dear," Elaine gasped "Which boy?"
"You know that one, with the hair and the shirt. Oh, and he had a hat."
"That must have been Geoff!" Courtney exclaimed. "We have to go back!"
"No!" Alejandro snapped. "We're in the lead now, and I'm not going to give that up because a couple of you just happen to care for some of these people."
"Al, Geoff could be hurt!" Owen pointed out.
"Who cares, that just means he's more likely to slow his team down."
"You are quite a terrible person. The right thing to do would be to go back and help the poor boy, or at the very least apologize for hitting him."
"Geez, Mama', what else would you like me to do, make my bed or clean my room?" Alejandro remarked. "We're staying on this road, we're heading straight for the abandoned film studio, and there's nothing you can do about it.
The team sat in silence for a moment.
Elaine stroked Lyle's hair comfortingly as she looked out the window at the view (not that it was much of a view, she had the side that faced the mountain side). Then, a bodily function occurred that was in need of dire attention. "Um Alejandro, we need to pull over at the next possible location."
"I told you, we're not going back!"
"I know, and as deplorable as I find that, it's not why I need you to pull over. I'm having some … issues."
Owen picked up Elaine's arm, checking for any amputations. "Is everything alright?"
"Oh everything is fine. I'm just having my monthly visitor."
Courtney whipped her head back, realizing what her friend was insinuating. "You don't mean…" Elaine nodded. "Alejandro, pull over at the next store."
"And why should I?"
"Because Elaine is having problems."
"Like what?"
"The crimson tide, Eve's punishment"
"Mother nature's gift, the ebb and flow" Elaine added.
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh for Christ's sake," Haily moaned, "she's on her period!"
Alejandro, Lyle, and Owen all went silent, the awkwardness of the subject taking over. Lyle climbed over to Haily, trying to get away from Elaine. Alejandro accelerated to very dangerous speeds.
Trunk Cam
Elaine – Oh dear, I'm so embarrassed
*static*
Alejandro – I grew up with two brothers and no sisters, how was I supposed to know what those phrases meant?
*static*
Haily – I honestly don't see what's wrong with saying it, it's not like we should be ashamed of it. Daddy says I should celebrate my menstruation, because it means I'm not pregnant.
*static*
Courtney – I hope Bridgette isn't mad about me not going to help Geoff. I tried, honestly. I hope she believes me when I say Alejandro was being a jerk. One beautiful piece of jerk.
*static*
Owen – Al seemed really mad about having to pull over for Elaine. He wouldn't stop complaining about three teams passing us. Hopefully he doesn't conspire against her, she's such a nice girl.
*static*
Lyle – There's so much more room in here. I think I might just stay in here.
Team 7 – Anna, Duncan, Sabrina, Gwen, Fran
The team appeared to be traveling in peace. Gwen drove with one hand and held Duncan's hand with the other. Sabrina would occasionally attempt to grab Duncan's free hand, but the delinquent would always jerk it away. Anna and Fran carried on with a light conversation.
Everything was peachy, until DJ ran out in the road.
Gwen jerked the car, letting out a string of expletives that could rival Diana. Luckily, she missed the gentle Giant. Sadly, she didn't miss the edge of the cliff.
The car fell, every occupant screaming for their lives, not that it did much.
It fell and it fell, until it disappeared into the tree line bellow.
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So, what did you think? I know it's been over a year since I last updated, but I'm back now. (And hopefully my writing has improved)
Again, I know this challenge is practically a rip-off of TKN's challenge, but can you blame me? The man is a genius, and this challenge offers so many possibilities. Looking at my list of challenges, this should be the only one that is like any of his (for now, you never know, we might have similar challenges planned)
Team 1 – Sierra, James, CJ, Tyler, Mr. Coconut
Team 2 – Vanessa, Trent, Eva, Phillip, Izzy
Team 3 – Rocki, Tony, Grace, Mike, Justin
Team 4 – Geoff, Jonathon, Yael, Harvard, Cody
Team 5 – Katie, Sadie, Blaineley, Miranda, Noah
Team 6 – Heather, Ethan, Kayla, Diana, Beth
Team 7 – Anna, Duncan, Fran, Sabrina, Gwen
Team 8 – Haily, Owen, Elaine, Courtney, Lyle, Alejandro
Team 9 – LeShawna, DJ, Bridgette, Ezekiel, Harold, Lindsay