Twelve Parcels in silk

Present the Third: Revelation of a Lifetime

The expression on Merlin's face when he opened his present ("Silk again, Arthur!" "Yes silk, Merlin") was priceless.

It was the first anniversary of King Arthur's coronation when Arthur surprised Merlin with a bundle of red silk. He hadn't even bothered to use ribbon to secure the silk in his haste to get it to Merlin and Merlin (stupid, moronic Merlin) had dropped the bundle before it even reached his hands ("That's why it dropped because you hadn't even handed it to me yet!") which lead to the silk falling off the object and for Merlin to freeze with a stillness that he had never achieved before.

Arthur was not impressed.

"Well, pick it up."

The tone he used was like the one he would have used had he been talking to a simpleton and he pronounced the words like Merlin was a bit touched in the head (Arthur has proof that it's true).

Merlin, like the true idiot he was, continued to stand there in shock. Arthur disliked this situation more and more. Finally, Merlin picked up the object and read the words on the front.

"A Book of Dark Magic and How to Defeat It Using Magic, Potions and Charms."

His eyes were round like those of a deer and Arthur felt the nerves he had tried to store away creep up on him again. He still didn't know why he wanted Merlin to like his present but he just did and when Merlin seemed to dislike them, he felt like the world was going to end.

"You… like it right? I mean, Gaius doesn't already have one?"

He looked flustered and Merlin would have laughed if he hadn't felt so panicked (and omigod he knows).

"The trader said it was very rare and that it's hard to find one with this much information, in fact he told me this was the only copy."

Arthur swallowed hard and asked tentatively, "Should I get you another? Do you dislike it?"

He berated himself for letting his nerves get the better of him again (this was getting out of hand, the king of Camelot couldn't become a nervous wreck every time he gifted something to his manservant) and tried harder to hide his nervousness and fear of Merlin's reaction.

"Arthur… yo-you gave me a book on magic and you're worried if I dislike it?"

Merlin still had a dazed look on his face and he slowly met Arthur's eyes.

"You knew! You knew all this time and you never told me?"

Arthur opened his mouth to apologise (he wouldn't admit this if said dark magic was used against him and turned his into a full donkey) before he realised that Merlin should be the one apologising not him.

"I knew all this time and never told you! How about you've been practising magic under my nose and you never told me!"

He unleashed the anger he had held within him all this time but when he saw the terrified look in his manservant's eyes, he felt all his anger deflate and he sighed.

"Look, just tell me if you have the bloody book already and if you do then I can go kill that trader for lying to me."

Merlin got a determined looked on his face and Arthur thought 'Uh oh, not good, so not good'.

"One: There will be no killing. Two: Since when have you known about my magic?"

His voice was strong but Arthur, who had known him for over four years, could hear the lingering of fear in his voice.

"I suspected since Ealdor but I never could confirm it until the Dorocha." He took a breath and plunged on; remembering the terrifying moments when he had thought his best friend dead.

"I was so, so scared when you were dead (or at least seemed it) and I remember wishing, wishing that you did have magic and that you'd done a spell to protect yourself or something before you jumped in front of that Dorocha!"

He calmed himself and carried on, "Anyways, you didn't die and for the first time I was grateful for magic and I knew right then that you definitely had magic and that I owe magic a debt that can't be paid."

"Arthur…"

"No Merlin, your life is worth more than the world to me and for those few moments that I had thought you lost forever, I felt like the world was lost to me too. Merlin," he gulped and continued, choosing his words carefully, "I care deeply for you and I can see that magic is a big part of you, I don't know why you chose to study it but I am glad. It kept you safe and alive when I couldn't and for that I owe magic everything."

"Arthur… I-I didn't chose this," Merlin swallowed visably, "I was born like this and when I came to Camelot, I saw your father execute someone on suspicion of magic and I felt panicked. I never liked you much at first-"

"You thought of me as a prat."

"You are a prat. Anyways, when I actually started to like you and think of you as a friend, I was scared that you would turn me in because I wasn't sure you thought of me as a friend. Then when I knew for sure you cared for me, I didn't want to hurt you by making you choose between me and your father. Morgana happened next and I knew you didn't and wouldn't trust magic again so I kept quiet and slowly it felt like you'd hate me more for keeping it from you for so long. I was scared that you'd think that I couldn't trust you."

A tear escaped his eye and Arthur wanted to brush it way, take away all his sadness and give him joy, but he restrained himself. He wanted to know more (he wanted to know why Merlin still seemed so scared when he had shown him the magic book).

"I had moments where I really wanted to tell you, when I almost did, but someone or something always interrupted us. Then Morgana happened again and I saw your hatred to not only magic, but those who kept secrets from you. Since Uther's death I was never scared you'd kill me, I was scared you'd hate me."

He finished in a small voice and his face was covered in tears, his eyes red and he moved his gaze, from the vase he had somehow came to stare at, to Arthur's face.

Arthur looked at the tears and pain on Merlin's face and couldn't stand to look at him in so much pain, all because of Arthur. So like a true friend, he pulled the other man into his arms and hugged him tightly, letting him soak his royal shirt with his tears. He held Merlin as he sobbed and rocked him back and forth, gently, like he was holding a child.

The king and his warlock stayed like that until the sun set and the moon rose in its place. Merlin spent the night telling Arthur about his magic and all he had done, and Arthur for the first time in his life, did nothing but listen.

(That was the day King Arthur of Camelot realised he was in love with the warlock Merlin.)