Hey everybody!

As usual thanks to Whatobsession17, Jessypt and Kimmcarr for all of their hard work, love you guys!

Thank you so so much to everyone that reads, reviews and pimps this story, you have no idea how much it means to me!
I try so hard to reply to everyone that reviews, but I've been spending more time replying than I have been writing lately. I really want to be able to keep updating Fuggiasco every week, so if I didn't reply to you I am so sorry but please know that I read every single review and they make my week.

I don't own the characters of Twilight, I just took their homes away.

WARNING!
This story contains subject matter which may be offensive to some readers. I will try to post a warning before each chapter if I feel there is a need, but the story in general deals with mature themes.

I was broken for a long time

But it's over now

Said I was broken for a long time

But it's over now

Yes and you,

You walk these lonely streets where people stand, people stare

And some people just can't and I do pretend.

-Robert Pattinson

EPOV

Bella sleeps like a rock. I thought she would be riddled with nightmares after telling her story, but it seems to have had the opposite effect. Now that she isn't carrying the weight of her secrets, it seems she's able to find some peace. She sleeps on my chest, my arms tight around her. As I look down she looks peaceful, more peaceful than I've ever seen her. Just because she isn't having nightmares though, doesn't mean she isn't talking. She keeps saying my name, and once in a while she says Mom. It's nice to hear her talk in her sleep like this, much better than her pleading for help and mercy.

I'm glad she sleeps, but I can't. I can't let go of all the fucked up things she's told me. She lost her mom and was alone in the world, was sent to a man she had never met. I'm still not sure how I feel about her father. Questions swirl in my mind - did he look for her? Did he really do everything he could have to keep her safe? Did he really treat her well?

At this point, I hate him. I hate him just because she was kidnapped while in his care. It was his job to protect her. I know she thinks it was her fault because she went willingly with Alec, but it wasn't. She was a child, a child who was lost, angry, scared and alone. He manipulated her and kidnapped her; he's the lowest kind of sick fuck. The kind who even prisoners in jail take no pity on; he's a pedophile. I can't wrap my mind around how life must have been for her while living with that vile scum. How she was locked in a room like an animal for years only being used for cleaning and sex. She was beaten and abused. I can't even think of it without shaking from anger. I change my train of thought, not wanting to wake her with my rage.

I think about what I can do to help her, and I come up blank. I have no idea what to do for her. It's obvious she needs serious help I can't give her. I think about telling Miss E but decide against it knowing she will feel betrayed by me. I can't do anything that will make her lose her trust in me. Her trusting me means more to me than anything in this world. I have no idea what it's like to love someone; I loved my mom, but that was it. I quickly change my thought pattern; I don't want to think of my mom.

I'm pretty sure what I feel for Bella is love, and if it's not, it's the closest I'll ever get to it. I love when she smiles. I would give anything or do anything to keep her happy, always. I want to keep any harm from her, I would be happy to continue to put myself in front of any danger to keep her safe. I want to see her heal and to understand that none of what happened to her was her fault. I want her to stop looking over her shoulder for Alec; I never want her to think about him ever again.

By the time we went to bed after she told me everything, it was getting light outside, we had talked all through the night. I look out the window now and see that the sun is starting to set, and I still haven't slept. Bella starts to stir on top of me. She sits up and her eyes are red and puffy from crying, but she looks more rested than I have seen her in these months I've known her.

"Hey," I say softly, brushing some hair out of her face.

She yawns. "Hi." She stretches, lifting her arms into the air.

"I have to... you know." She points to the bathroom and scrambles off of the bed. I watch her go and continue to lie there, the fatigue that has escaped me so far is quickly creeping up. She comes back into the room, and I take my turn in the bathroom. When I come out, Bella is going through the little fridge that we have in our room.

"You hungry?" she asks.

"Yeah, really hungry actually," I say, and I am. Since dinner was a bust last night, I hadn't eaten since the morning before.

"Well, there isn't much; we need to make another store run," she says, her back to me. She's bent over digging through the fridge; I can't help but appreciate the view.

I think about her emotional night and decide that I don't want her to stress over anything, even if it's just what to make for dinner.

"Bella, let's just order pizza," I say. It sounds so good, too; I can't remember the last time I had it. She stands from the fridge and just looks at me.

"Do you not like pizza?" I ask, not sure why she's giving me such an odd response.

"No, I do. I really do. I just haven't had it... for so long. Are you sure you want to spend money?"

"Yeah, it's fine this one time," I shrug. Bella and I are really good about not spending money. Both of us know what it's like to not have any, so we're careful about what we do with it when we do have it. We buy a small amount of groceries weekly and that's it.

I grab the phone book that's in one of the drawers and look up pizza places.

"Rocco's pizza is on Burnside, is that ok?" I ask. "I've never eaten there but walked by many times, and it's always packed."

"Oh, sure, I really don't know any of the restaurants around here."

"What do you want on it?" I ask. She hesitates and looks at the ground. She always does this when I ask her a question, but I don't get frustrated with her this time because now I know why. For the past five years she has been held against her will; she has not been asked a question or been allowed to make her own choices. She knows I won't hurt her for voicing her opinion like he did, but it's still going against her instincts to answer me. I wait, giving her time to work through whatever she needs to answer.

"My mom and I always got pepperoni and pineapple, every Friday night," she says with a soft smile. I hope she feels comfortable enough to tell me more about her life with her mother. She needs to remember those times, keep her mother with her as much as she can.

"Pepperoni and pineapple it is then," I say, smiling to let her know I'm happy she spoke up and made her own choice. I order the pizza and get the cash ready for when it's delivered. She's quiet while we wait. I can tell she's shaken from last night's events.

"Can I... do you mind if I go take a shower?" she asks.

"Bella, you don't have to ask," I say. I really want to break her out of this habit of asking permission for everything.

She gives me a soft smile and walks to the bathroom. I hear the water turn on and think about her slowly peeling the layers of her clothing off, standing in her bra and underwear, leaning into the shower as she reaches a hand in, testing the temperature of the water. Reaching her arms up and behind her, releasing the clasp of her bra, letting it fall to the floor, her breasts firm and round, the perfect size for my hands. Her nipples hardening from the cold air hitting them - there's a knock at the door, breaking me out of my day dream, and the only thing that has hardened is my dick from my thoughts of Bella in the bathroom.

I stand and adjust myself as best I can to hide my hard on and answer the door, paying the pizza guy. It smells so good. I set the pizza on the table and get two plates and drinks for us. I sit at the table and force myself to wait for Bella to be done before I eat. I also force myself to not think about Bella naked in the shower, so when she does come out to eat, I won't be hard throughout dinner.

In no time, Bella comes out of the bathroom in the pink and black outfit that I bought that first night at Uncle Mac's. She has a towel in her hand and is squeezing the water off the ends of her long hair.

"That smells so good!" she says, tossing the towel on the bed. She sits at the table and takes a sip of the water I poured for her. I open the pizza box and almost start drooling. The smell of the melted cheese and spicy pepperoni is so strong, and it intensifies my hunger. I hear Bella's stomach growl loudly, and we both laugh. I put a couple of slices on her plate before I put a few on my own.

I can't wait and dig in, after I start to eat, she does. She has always done this - doesn't eat unless I start first. There are so many odd things she does like this. I understand them all so much better now, and the reasons behind her actions make me almost too sick to eat. I try to ignore those thoughts and continue to shovel pizza into my mouth. It's so hot it burns my mouth, but I don't even care, it's been too long since I've had it and continue to shovel. I hear Bella laughing, and I look up at her; she continues laughing at me.

"Wha?" I ask with a mouthful of food.

"Nothing," she says. She daintily picks up a piece of pizza with her fork - who the hell eats pizza with a fork? She blows on it and pops it into her mouth. I swallow my mouth full before I speak this time.

"No, really, what? You were laughing at me. You have to say why!" I demand playfully, wiggling her chair with my foot.

"I was just watching you wondering at what point you were going to stop stuffing food into your mouth and just... chew?" she says still laughing at me.

"Oh, you think you're really funny don't you?" I ask playfully. "I haven't had this shit in years; it's too good to slow down. What about you? Who eats pizza with a fork?"

"Someone who doesn't want to burn their mouth, or get sauce all over - that's who eats with a fork," she says with a smug look, putting another piece in her mouth. I take a napkin and wipe my face, sure enough there is pizza sauce all over my damn mouth; I won't give her the satisfaction of letting her know that I already burnt my mouth as well.

She has a smile on her face when I look back at her and hands me a fork. I take the fork and set it next to my plate. I pick my piece of pizza up and take a bite. She laughs and shakes her head.

"I haven't had pizza in a long time either, so I'm gonna take my time and enjoy it." She does have a point there.

"Ok, I'll slow down, but I'm not using a fucking fork," I say with a laugh.

We eat in silence. I'm not sure what to say to her. I don't want to bring up anything from last night if she doesn't want to talk about it, but if she does, I want her to know I'm willing to listen.

"So this was like a Friday night thing for you and your mom?" I ask, remembering what she said when I brought up the idea of pizza. Her fork freezes in her mouth, she removes it and slowly chews her food, after what feels like a lifetime she answers.

"Yeah, no matter where we lived, we tried a new pizza place out each week. Well, until we got to Forks, where we always ordered from our favorite restaurant." Tears form in her eyes as she remembers their tradition.

"Sorry," she says as she brushes the tears away.

"Don't be sorry. I like hearing about your mom; I'm sorry it makes you sad," I say.

"No, it doesn't make me sad... well, it does I guess. It's just hard. I've never talked about her. When I was with Charlie it was too fresh, and then with... Alec, he... well I wasn't allowed to. I tried once and... it ended really badly." I didn't ask for details on what really badly meant. I knew if she told me I would feel enough rage for me to not want my pizza anymore.

"Well, I would really like to hear more about her. I mean, that is if you want to talk about her," I offer. She gives me a sad smile and takes a deep breath.

For the next hour she talks about her mom and what life was like with her. Her mom sounds like she was carefree and fun. Bella's childhood sounds chaotic but happy. She tells me how her mom would make moving an adventure or, when it was just the two of them, they spoke what Bella believed to be their secret language.

"I would love to learn," I say. Bella's head shoots up, and I feel stupid - of course she doesn't want to teach me, that was something special she had with her mom.

"Sorry, Bella, that was stupid," I say, feeling a little embarrassed.

"No, I was just surprised. I would love to have someone to speak Italian with." I look up and she's beaming.

"Really?" I ask. She nods.

"Yeah, I wasn't... uh allowed to speak Italian around Alec. He didn't speak it well enough to understand everything I was saying. He thought I was talking bad about him," she says. A smile breaks across her face, "I was," she whispers. I smile; I love that even at the worst time in her life she still had a little fight in her.

"Awesome! Let's start with the dirty words!" I joke. She laughs, and I'm happy to see that after last night she still can smile.

She continues to tell me more about her mom, mostly funny stories of their lives together. The pizza is long gone, but we continue to sit and talk. Too soon we come to the part in her history where her story becomes dark.

"After she died, and they made me leave for Charlie's two days later, Carlisle took care of the funeral. Charlie took me back for the service, but I was... I dunno what the word is, kinda numb, but the feeling was stronger. I ignored everyone. I don't think I spoke once." She's looking out the window, she's lost herself in the memory.

"I watched them lower her into the ground and knew, I just knew... my happiness was gone and would never return." Hearing her say that about kills me. I'm determined to make her happy again, I have no idea how I'll do it, but I will. I hear her sniffling and she looks from the window over to me.

"The worst part is... is..." She's starting to cry a little. She takes a minute and a sip of water. A few deep breaths later she continues on. "The worst part... is that I promised her, Edward. I made so many silent promises as they were lowering her into the ground..." She pauses. "I didn't keep one," she adds in a soft whisper, a tear rolls down her cheek.

"Prometto pensare a te ogni giorno. It means, I promise to think about you every day. I tried so hard, but it would make me so sad. On the days I would sit and think about her, I would speak Italian in my sleep more and that... that made Alec... very angry." Before I can tell her it wasn't her fault she continues on.

"Prometto di amare liberamente. It means, I promise to love freely. She was always saying no matter what you can't afford, love is free, and everyone deserves it. I haven't been able to love since she's been gone and, I don't know if I ever will again." Hearing this declaration makes my heart clinch a little. I'm not surprised after what she's been through; it's just hard to hear. I sit quietly, waiting for her to go on.

"Prometto di farvi visita, spesso. It means, I promise to visit you, often. I've never been back, Edward. Her birthdays have passed, the anniversaries of her death, so many things and I've never been back," she says as another tear escapes her eye.

"Bella, that isn't your fault. You would have gone back if you could've." She says nothing, but I know she hears me. It's been eating me that she's never been able go to where her mom is, I know the feeling.

"Where is she buried, Bella?"

"Forks," she says quietly. I've never been there, never even heard of the town until I met Bella, but I know it can't be too far. Washington is just across the river from Portland, not ten minutes away from here. I know Seattle is at least three hours or so away, so Forks can't be too far from there. I hear her sniffle and it brings me out of my thoughts.

"Were those all your promises?" I ask. She shakes her head no. She has her heels on the edge of her chair and one elbow is resting on her leg, her hand is covering her mouth. She pulls it slightly away.

"Prometto di rendere sempre orgoglioso. I promise to always make you proud." She makes direct eye contact with me. There's so much passion in her eyes; I would be unable to look away even if I wanted to.

"I am nothing to be proud of. I am broken and ashamed," she says as she breaks down. In a flash I'm in front of her, holding her while she cries, and I repeat how wrong she is.

While I hold her I make silent promises of my own to her. I will help her think of her mother each day, if that makes her happy. I will help her heal so that she can love again, even if it's not me whom she loves. I will take her to her mother's grave - and soon, and I will do anything in my power to show Bella how strong she is. She's survived not only the loss of the only family she knew, but also five years of shear torture that most would have withered away from, but she didn't. Her mother would be so proud of her.

After she calms down, we're both tired, even though she's only been awake long enough to talk and eat. We both crawl back into bed, and for the first time she lays on my chest before she falls asleep. Usually she does it unconsciously during a bad dream, I assume looking for safety. The courage it takes for her to do this while still awake doesn't go unnoticed by me.

"Thank you for listening," she says softly. I don't answer but take a chance and lean forward planting a soft kiss on the top of her head. I expect her to stiffen or even to move off of me but she doesn't. Instead she lets out a sigh of relief and kisses my chest through my shirt. We lay in silence for a long while, and then I hear her speak.

"Cucina," she says. I look down at her questioningly.

"Kitchen - cucina," she repeats. I guess we're starting the Italian lesson tonight? I go along with it.

"Cucina," I say, trying to repeat her accent, but I fail miserably and she laughs.

"Hey, I'm trying" I say, tickling her.

"Ok, ok, sorry," she says.

"Letto - bed."

"Letto," I repeat.

Our first Italian lesson goes on like this until we are both too tired to continue. Right before I fall into a deep sleep I hear her say, "Buonanotte, non lasciarmi andare."

"What does that mean, Bella?" She hesitates and I assume she won't answer.

"Goodnight... and don't let me go." I tighten my grip on her, and we both fall into a peaceful sleep.

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