Thank you so much for all your sweet reviews last chapter, they made my week! Thanks for all the well wishes for my mom. She's doing great!

As usual couldn't do it without Kimmcarr, Jessypt and Whatobsession!

I'm even posting a day early!

WARNING!

This story contains subject matter which may be offensive to some readers. I will try to post a warning before each chapter if I feel there is a need, but the story in general deals with mature themes.

Mature content ahead - AKA - Lemony goodness ;)

Lift me up on my honor

Take me over this spell

Get this weight off my shoulders

I've carried it well

Loose these shackles of pressure

Shake me out of these chains

Lead me not to temptation

Hold my hand harder

Ease my mind

Roll down the smoke screen

And open the sky

Let me fly

Man I need a release from

This troublesome mind

Fix my feet when they're stumbling

And well you know it hurts sometimes

You know it's gonna bleed sometimes

-The Killers

EPOV - Day one in Forks

I can't believe I told her I love her. I roll on top of her and start peppering kisses down her neck. She moans, and it encourages my advances. I move from her neck to her shoulder and continue my path down. I kiss and lick my way down her arm to every fingertip. I pause a moment and look up at her, scared I will see fear in her eyes. I don't. There's nothing but love looking back at me, and to prove it, she sits up on her elbows and runs a hand through my hair.

"I do. I love you... so much," she says softly.

"I love you too, baby," I say, lying down on top of her so she's on her back again. We kiss softly and slowly. I'm not sure for how long, but it's nice. I've always been in a hurry to get mine and get out, not with her though. I make sure this experience is nothing like she's ever had before.

She's never willingly been physical with someone in her life. She's a virgin to this experience - to someone loving her, not forcing her, to wanting this as much as the other person. I try to keep my weight off of her and also make sure her hands are free so she doesn't feel as though she's being held down.

We continue kissing. Her hands roam my face and mine cover hers. I feel loved. I hope she does as well but don't pause to ask. I think about the last time we kissed - and she had a meltdown. I don't want that to happen again, and the only way I can think of keeping that from happening is to make sure we do nothing that will remind her of what happened to her. From what she's told me, it's safe to assume that no one has loved her, caressed her, been gentle with her. I've never loved, caressed or been gentle with anyone before and have no idea what I'm doing. I guess we're on even ground.

I lean back and look at her. She looks relaxed, her hair fans across the pillow. She has a soft smile on her face, and I'm sure mine matches. I bend down and kiss her neck and move up. I tell her I love her again, whispering it in her ear as I take it between my teeth. As my mouth moves back down, so does my hand. I blindly feel for the buttons on her shirt and start to undo them. I hear her gasp and quickly pull back. Her eyes are a little wide, but I don't see fear.

"Tell me to stop and I will," I promise. She nods. "Do you trust me? I will never push you, Bella," I say.

"I trust you. I don't... I... I don't want you to stop," she says bringing her hands down to meet mine. She helps me undo her buttons.

Together we get her shirt off, and fuck me if she isn't the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She has scars on her that match my own - some are red and angry, some have faded to white. She also has scars I don't have - bite marks.

She has fucking permanent bite marks on her flawless breast. I feel anger and nausea all at once. Some sick fucking animal marked her. I wish I knew who it was so I could make them pay. Who could harm her? Who could ever do this to someone so perfect? She sees me notice, and her hands wrap around herself. She's like me - ashamed. I gently move them aside and kiss every scar on the front of her body, wishing I could heal her, knowing I can't.

"Bella, you're perfect," I say, knowing no one has ever told her before. She needs to hear this. She's been treated as a toy - a slave - abused. Never again though. She will never have another experience other than being loved. Tears spring to her eyes. One escapes. I lean forward and kiss it away. She kisses me with passion.

Her bra is soon discarded on the floor with her shirt. I sit back a moment appreciating the view, wondering how I could have ever been turned on in the past by any other woman when Bella was out there. My erection is straining against my pants, and she's squirming a little under my gaze. I lean back down taking one of her perfect nipples into my mouth, gently sucking on it. Her hands fly to my hair, and the sexiest moan escapes from her. I roll the other one in my fingers loving the way she feels in my hands, in my mouth. I switch breasts making sure I give the other the same attention.

I palm both of her breasts and move back up to kiss her, tell how much I love her, and remind her how perfect she is. I ask her if she wants to stop; she says no and reaches to pull my shirt off as well. I hesitate not wanting her to see my scars - then I don't give a shit. I've seen hers, and I hope she will still love me even after seeing mine up close. My shirt joins the campout of clothing on the ground. She sits up and moves behind me. She runs her fingers over my back. My body goes stiff. She places a kiss right between my shoulder blades, where I know there's a large scar. The feeling of her lips on my back is better than anything I've ever felt. I feel pressure on my shoulders; she's pushing me on my back. I give in and lay back.

Hesitantly, slowly, she straddles my lap, her eyes cast down. I put a hand under her chin. We make eye contact, I tell her I love her again. She says it back. Her hands rest on my stomach. My muscle contract under her soft touch. Her eyes roam my body. I look up at the ceiling, but I can feel her stare. I don't want to look at her. I don't want to see the look of disgust that she surely has. I focus of the feeling of her center on mine, and the fact that she must feel how hard I am, even through my jeans. While she examines me, I wonder if she's wet - my pants get tighter.

Then I feel contact on my skin and look down. Bella is doing the same thing to me that I did to her. Every mark on my body she kisses, licks, and touches so softly. As she makes her path up and down my torso, I can feel her breasts brush my skin, so feather light. She looks beautiful topless above me; it's the best thing I've ever seen. I feel a drop of moisture and see tears in her eyes.

"Bella, baby, what's wrong?" I ask, bringing my hands to her face, wiping the tears away with my thumbs. I'm worried that we've gone too far, but her answer surprises me.

"You're perfect, Edward," she says, repeating my words from earlier. "But... I hate whoever did this to you... I hate them so much."

I pull her back to me and kiss her deeply. We won't go further tonight. Even though I'm a horny bastard, I know this is more than enough for tonight. She needs to know I love her, that I don't expect anything from her. I hold her on top of me, and we continue to kiss and love each other. In that moment I know that we are both broken, but I've learned we are not beyond repair.

~*E&B*~

Day two in Forks

I've called Carlisle, and we're supposed to have dinner at their place tonight. I feel bad it's our second night in Forks, and we still haven't seen Bella's mom. I promise myself I'll take her soon. Carlisle calls; they want to pick us up, but Bella says no. Carlisle is a nice man, so he offers to drop a car off for our use; I have to embarrass myself and tell him I can't drive. He just called back. He said he has paid for a taxi to come and get us. For the first time, I feel bad for putting him out. If it weren't for Bella, I would never accept his money or help.

The taxi is waiting outside for us, but Bella is still unmovable on the bed. I gently coax her outside. During the short taxi ride, I ask her what she's worried about. She tells me she doesn't know. We don't talk the rest of the ride. Bella is obviously scared and nervous.

We pull up to the Cullen house. The house is in the middle of nowhere and is white and large. Not too big though, it's still modest. There is a porch that wraps around the front that looks like something out of a movie and windows - so many windows. There's a woman standing on the front porch. Bella sits up a little straighter looking out the front window of the taxi. When she sees the woman - all previous nervousness and fear visibly disappears. Bella flies out of the car and runs into the woman's arms. The force of their collision almost knocks them over; they're both crying.

I stand in the driveway, dumbfounded, as the taxi pulls away. There's no discomfort or fear. It's obvious that Bella loves this woman, and she loves Bella. Carlisle steps onto the front porch and walks past the two women, who are now talking. He walks down the driveway towards me, I meet him half way.

"Thank you, Edward," he says, shaking my hand.

"Yeah, thanks for the ride," I say. He waves me off.

"You don't have to stand in the driveway, come in," he says, walking back up to the porch. I follow him keeping my hands in my pockets. I'm uncomfortable being around this family. Even when I had a family, it wasn't like this. It was me and my mom in a little apartment. Bella sees me and is by my side instantly. She wipes tears from her eyes, but she's smiling; she looks so happy.

"Edward, this is my second mom, Esme," she says, pointing to the woman.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," Esme says, pulling me into a hug. I awkwardly wrap one arm around her, I don't like this - I want her to stop touching me. I haven't been touched in a motherly way since my mom died, I don't know how to act. Esme pulls back and smiles, tears are in her eyes too. She looks to be around forty, but she's beautiful - for a mom. An awkward silence ensues until Carlisle speaks up.

"Should we go inside?" he asks, motioning towards the open door.

Everyone agrees and heads in. Esme first then Bella. She grabs my hand, and I follow her. Carlisle shuts the door behind us. The inside of the house is as nice as the outside. It looks elegant, but lived in - not stuffy. There's a large staircase in the center of the entry way. Every piece of furniture is made of dark, rich wood. The carpet is thick and lush. There are candles and a fire burning in the fire place; this house feels warm and comfortable... I don't fit in here.

We go into the living room. One entire wall is glass, and the view is amazing. There's nothing but field and forest, I can't see where it ends. Bella is right at home here; this is a place where she feels comfortable, safe. She makes herself comfortable on the couch, even pulling a blanket off the back and wrapping it around her legs. I've never seen her like this. I've only seen the scared, unsure, post-abuse Bella. This more confidant, comfortable Bella is refreshing. She's in a place she used to call home with people she used to call family. The pang of insecurity in my chest comes back... is she already growing away from me?

"Edward," she says, patting the space next to her.

I walk over and sit. This couch feels nicer than any bed I've ever slept in. Esme walks back into the room with a tray of drinks and snacks. She sets them on the table and sits across from us with her husband. All four of us sit and stare. It's so uncomfortable, no one knows what to say. Everyone is fidgeting. Carlisle adjusts his sleeves. Esme fixes the clip in her hair. I look at Bella next to me and she is looking at her lap, playing with strings from her pants.

"Oh this is just silly," Esme says with a laugh, waving her hand around addressing the silence in the room.

"How have you been? Alice, Emmett?" Bella asks quietly, making an effort to start a conversation.

"We've been fine, Bella, we've missed you so much though. What -" Esme starts, Carlisle cuts her off knowing what will happen if Esme asks Bella personal questions. Carlisle saw firsthand last night at the diner what this line of questioning does to her. He saw Bella shut down.

"Emmett is good, has his own brewery business now. It's small but growing. He was married last year," Carlisle says. Esme gives him a look for cutting her off but continues on politely.

"Yes, Rosalie... I don't think you know her Bella, but she's very sweet." Bella nods and takes a sip of her drink.

"Alice?" she asks. The couple looks at each other silently communicating something. Carlisle starts out slowly.

"Alice... Alice is doing very well... now. She, uh..."

"She would love to see you, Bella, and I think she should be the one to update you," Esme says, gently cutting her husband off. I wonder what could be going on with Bella's friend that her parents don't want to share.

"Ok," Bella says wearily.

Small talk goes on for a while, then dinner is ready, and small talk continues through the meal. I don't contribute to the conversation much. The food is too good, roast and all the sides. I just eat and let them get caught up.

"Edward," Esme says. I look up from my meal. My mouth is full of food.

"Where are you from, dear?" she asks with a sweet smile. I swallow my food as fast as possible, causing myself to choke. I'm trying to remember my manners and not make an ass of myself.

"Bend," I say.

"Oregon?" she asks. I nod.

"Oh, I love it there, so beautiful! We used to go to Sisters, close to there, every year."

"Yeah, we went there a lot too," I say. I don't want to talk about this. I don't want to talk about my past. I don't want to remember or share with them.

"Such a nice little town," she continues on. I don't know what else to say. I'm not good at small talk.

"So how do you two know each other? Did you meet in Bend?" Carlisle asks, obviously trying to figure where the fuck Bella has been.

"No, we met in Portland," Bella says.

"Oh, that's a great city too," Carlisle says. "The Blazers aren't doing so well though are they? After Brandon Roy and Oden got hurt, they're the long shots," he says.

"Uh, I dunno, I don't follow sports," I say. I feel less-than at this point. I'm sure it comes across odd I don't know about the sports team in my own town. Carlisle doesn't need to know I used to sleep under the Rose Garden Arena, not see the games in it.

"Oh well, you're saving yourself frustration then," he says with a laugh. I appreciate him trying to make me feel comfortable, but I'm not.

"Is that where you've been staying then, Portland?" he asks. Fuck, this is getting awkward.

I know Bella doesn't want to tell them everything, but she has to give something up. You can't disappear as a child for five years then just show back up acting like nothing happened. Bella doesn't answer him, so I do.

"Yeah, that's where we live," I say. His eyes widen at my term. Yes, we live together. Bella is mine, I want to say but don't. Bella's mouth drops open and she starts to backtrack my comment.

"Well, I've been staying there for a while now. Edward's helped me out a lot."

"Helped you with what?" Carlisle asks in a friendly tone, but I don't like it. It's none of his business. Bella grabs my hand on the top of the table, and it makes me feel good. She's not ashamed of me, yet. These people are high class though, and they don't know I'm homeless.

"Everything," she says simply. They don't push anymore for the rest of dinner. After dinner, they insist on us getting comfortable in the living room while they clear the table. I take this time to talk to Bella.

"Bella, you have to tell them something," I say softly.

"I know, I just don't... what do I tell them?" she asks looking overwhelmed. She starts to bite her nails; she's getting nervous.

"Just the basics maybe?"

"Even those are too much," she says, and I agree.

"Ask them questions, maybe. See what they say and you can decide how much you want to tell them," I suggest. Before she can answer me they walk back into the room.

The shitty small talk starts again. Everyone is trying to converse around the giant elephant in the room. Bella makes no effort to do what we talked about, and I can tell the two adults across from us are about to jump out of their fucking skin waiting for answers.

"I'm sorry, but this is stupid," I say, not being able to take the awkwardness one more damn minute.

"It is," Carlisle agrees to my shock.

"Bella, we are dying to know what happened, where you've been, but we don't want to push you or make you uncomfortable, sweetheart," he says softly.

"I just can't," she says.

"I understand it might be hard, I do," Carlisle says, pulling his chair a little closer to her. Normally I would freak out telling him to back the fuck up, but I trust this man a little already. I do put my arm around her though; I'm not that trusting.

"A lot of people have been looking for you, Bella - people, police."

"Police?" she asks, surprised.

"Yes, honey. Your dad, he started the search the same day you never came home from school."

"He did?" Bella says quietly to her lap.

"Yes, Charlie and his department searched there and called us immediately, assuming you would come back home. The police department here and all the people started our own search," Carlisle explains.

"Bella, it's like you just disappeared into thin air." Esme says though tears.

"I did," Bella agrees, a tear rolling down her cheek. Everyone is silent for a while, pulling themselves together.

"It's my fault... I... I went with him on my own," she says so quietly, it's barely audible.

"With Edward?" Carlisle asks.

"No!" Her head shoots up and she shakes her head. "No, I met Edward... when I got away."

"I'm confused, Bella," he says.

"It's my fault, Carlisle. I didn't have to go," she says. I can't listen to her blame herself.

"No, Bella. It wasn't your fault. He gave you the choice so you wouldn't make a scene, he would've taken you either way," I say to her, ignoring our audience.

She can't blame herself. That prick is a kidnapper and a baby-raper. There was nothing she could've done to get away from him, and she needs to understand that.

"Who... what's going on?" Carlisle stammers. He looks back at Esme and sighs. Leaning forward in his chair he gets down to business.

"Listen, Edward, Bella, I know this is hard, and obviously, Bella, you aren't ready to open up. If someone took you, kept you, or hurt you in any way we need to let the police know. They can find who it is. So they can't hurt you or anyone else. It doesn't sound like you ran away to me," Carlisle says.

I never thought of letting the cops know. I spend most of my time avoiding the law not calling them. He's right though; they could find this Alec piece of shit faster than I could. I can tell Bella doesn't like the thought of this.

"Bella, honey, no one will blame you or be mad at you. We love you. You know you can trust us... and you obviously trust Edward. Let us help you," Esme pleads. Bella just shakes her head.

"Well, Bella, I have to call and at least tell the police that you're not missing anymore," Carlisle says.

"No! Carlisle, please don't," Bella pleads, starting to panic.

"Bella, Charlie moved to Seattle six months after you disappeared, hoping that you would end up back home. He's never stopped looking for you. He deserves to know you're safe," Carlisle explains somewhat sternly. I expect Bella to flinch at his tone, but she doesn't; she really trusts this man.

"He moved... all the way up here?" she asks, shocked.

"Bella, just because he didn't know you your whole life doesn't mean he doesn't love you," Esme says softly.

I'm glad to hear Bella's perceptions of her father were wrong. I'm glad she's hearing the truth. He did care about her, love her, and was obviously terrified when she went missing.

"I can't... this is too much," Bella says, rushing to the front door. I don't blame her. This is so much to take in, I can't imagine how she feels. We all follow her outside.

I expect to see her running down the driveway, but she's not. She's walking behind the house. I move to follow her when someone grabs my arm. I turn and jerk my arm out of Carlisle's grasp.

"Sorry," he says, quickly backing up.

"Just let her go... she needs a minute," he says. Who the fuck is he to tell me what she needs? He may be her father figure, but he sure as fuck isn't mine. I ignore him and keep walking behind her.

I'm going through thick forest and following the noise she makes. I make it to a clearing. I finally get close enough to where I can see her and she's sitting on ground. I stop and do what Carlisle says; I give her a minute.

She's walked to an opening within the forest surrounding the Cullen's home. There are flowers everywhere, and when the birds stop chirping, you can hear a stream somewhere nearby. I do the same as she did and lower myself to the ground. It's damp, but I don't care. I sit and watch her; she looks so beautiful. She's not crying. She looks completely comfortable; maybe she just needed a minute to process everything alone.

While she sits and thinks, so do I. I hate to admit it, but Carlisle is right. After being missing for so long, we have to let the people who were looking for her know she's now safe. I don't want her to have to do interviews or have the media get involved. If the cops have been involved for the past five years, they're going to want to interview her, get all the details. I didn't think of any of this, and I'm sure she didn't either. It's all raining down on us now, it's overwhelming.

This is much bigger than Bella; there are also all the other girls involved. I'm sure she doesn't even know the level of evil Alec reached. Her dad, he's going to want to see her again. I'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I'm in over my head. Even though I don't want to, I know I will have to let Carlisle in, and let him help us, I don't know how to protect her from this.

I'm not sure how much time has passed, but it has to be at least an hour because the sun has set. She stands and gasps when she sees me. We walk to each other and sit back down on the ground, not caring that it's dark or cold. It's beautiful and relatively dry out here - we've sat in worse places.

After a few minutes of silence, I turn to her and grab her hand.

"Alice and I used to come out here all the time," she says out of nowhere.

"It's nice out here," I say. She agrees.

"During the summer, Emmett and his friends and a couple other girls from school, we'd all have camp-outs here. During the night though, we'd always get scared and go back to the house, leaving the boys out here alone," she says with a laugh. "They'd make fun of us for days for being wimps." I love hearing her good memories. We sit a while longer and it's getting colder.

She needs to know I can't take care of all this, that I'm in over my head. I'm afraid she'll hate me when she sees what a failure I am, I have no other choice though. I thought I could save her from everything, I realize now, I can't.

"Bella, we have to talk."

Part two of the dinner with the Cullen's will be in the next chapter. There will be a lot of things happening in the next few chapters, but not a lot of time will pass, so I will continue to make notes on the days :)

A teaser will be on the forum Wednesday and if you want to chat find me on twitter! kdc2239

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